Sasun Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 Some Things Never Change Stanley comes home after his mother's funeral to try to put her place in order. He goes up to the attic to look around and finds an old trunk. Looking in it, he discovers his father's World War II uniform. So he tries it on and it's a little tight on him. Before taking it off, he puts his hand in the pocket and comes up with a ticket. Looking at it, he finds a shoe repair ticket for Herman's on West 53rd Street in New York, dated January 17th, 1942. He can barely believe it. An unclaimed ticket from 55 years ago. Weeks later, Stanley happens to be in the area of West 53rd and wanders over to see where the shoe repair shop once was. He can't believe his good luck; the shoe repair store is still there. He wanders in and tells the story of finding the ticket to the old man. The man says his name is Herman and has owned the shop for 60 years. "Gimme the ticket" says Herman and wanders to the back of the shop. Stanley is amazed. Herman comes back. "I've got your shoes. They'll be done tomorrow!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 Why don't they have Formula 1 races in Russia? Because in 5 minutes the mechanics manage not only to unscrew the tires but also to sell them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 Why are you ploughing your land in circles? I bought a circus horse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted June 12, 2005 Report Share Posted June 12, 2005 The New fishing License http://www.pierfishing.com/msgboard/images/pic24773-1_sm.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armjan Posted June 12, 2005 Report Share Posted June 12, 2005 These are all different announcements printed in different church bulletins *At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be, "What is hell?'' Come early and listen to our choir practice *The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Mr & Mrs Belzer*Remember in our prayer the many who are sick of our church and community *Thurs night potluck supper. Prayer and Medication To follow *For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. *A bean supper will be held on Tue evening in the church hall. Music will follow. *This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized on both ends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted June 14, 2005 Report Share Posted June 14, 2005 have been looking for some Pontoons this is the best for the price - it's more like an "red neck" float tub i can even add a seeet or 2 and invite Azat and Edward http://fishinghotpage.com/users/tmp/BamaBassBoat.JPG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted June 19, 2005 Report Share Posted June 19, 2005 That looks really painful because that machine seems too small... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted June 20, 2005 Report Share Posted June 20, 2005 When two psychic friends met, one said: "You are fine. How am I ?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hytga Posted June 20, 2005 Report Share Posted June 20, 2005 When two psychic friends met, one said: "You are fine. How am I ?" style_images/master/snapback.png lol. it's a good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hytga Posted June 27, 2005 Report Share Posted June 27, 2005 abarantsu tgen galisa tun akanjin akanjogh kakhats. hery asuma es inch es arel ara? du gites ova akanjogh kapum? tgen asuma ha. mek geyery mekel piratnery. asuma hima yes pirat em. hery asuma hima dury batsum em ete navy dursy kainats chegav gluxt jardelu em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hytga Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 angialnerin ltsum en kamazy u tanum en vor varen. Mi gughi kokhkov en antsnum. gughatsinerits meky asuma axper es srants ur eq tanum. asum en tanum enq varenq. es qughatsin asuma tuny liqy chor hats ka tog trchen uten, sovats porov chmernen. es angialnerits maky asuma ape et hatsy menq pti trchenq? es gughatsin asuma ha. es angialy asuma. qshi varpet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armjan Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 angialnerin ltsum en kamazy u tanum en vor varen. Mi gughi kokhkov en antsnum. gughatsinerits meky asuma axper es srants ur eq tanum. asum en tanum enq varenq. es qughatsin asuma tuny liqy chor hats ka tog trchen uten, sovats porov chmernen. es angialnerits maky asuma ape et hatsy menq pti trchenq? es gughatsin asuma ha. es angialy asuma. qshi varpet style_images/master/snapback.png haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted June 28, 2005 Report Share Posted June 28, 2005 Abarantsin qeff@ lav tan@ nstatsa linum mek el t@ghen galisa tun Mazer poch kapats - akanjoghov - Hunqeri Hanats - Silk Sarochkov doshern el bats, akanjin el yerku Mets akanjogh Abarantsin nayum mi hat - yev mtatsum - ara es esi t@ghen Pirata Darel ?? che ha - achqis es Mast@ poxela Gomika darstel - yerkr barak mtatsuam verch@ j@ghaynatsats t@ghin asuma Ara eshi t@gha - nayi mi 30 ropeyist dur@ batsum em yev yete durs et qo Pirati Nav@ chtesa sev droshv vren - - Dzerqitsts ches prtsni eshu Dzaq &*^(&%*&$%^*$* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 This is an Armenian joke, but I will translate it to English though sounds much better in Armenian. A guy is traveling on a train. He cant buy a whole room to himself so is charing it. and Fortunately for him it is a hot blond. The first night he takes the upper bunk and the woman is on the lower bunk. Suddenly a note is lowered for the woman from the upper bunk tied to a string and it reads: "If you would like to have sex with me, please pull on the string once. If you do not, please pull on the string 60 times and the last 10 make the harder and faster. Thank you" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 Aghhh, perve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 es anekdod@ menak hayastantsiner@ khaskanan, knereq naxoroq yezdin nor koshikner e arnum, tup@ dzerqin galis e tun, harevan hay@ hartsnum e, Yezdi axper es inch es arell?? koshikner inch hamari e?? axper jan taza e der hamar chem hanell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hytga Posted July 26, 2005 Report Share Posted July 26, 2005 this might be a repost. but anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted July 27, 2005 Report Share Posted July 27, 2005 (edited) Erku enkeruhi handipum en, meke lriv tsetsvats, jardvats vichakum. Mi ekeruhin harcnum a: A: Es inch a eghel hetd? B: Amusnus het "du"-yov xoseci, indz tsetsec A: Inchpes te? B: Na ekav tun, asec "Lsi, erkar zhamanak e sex-ov chenq zbaghvel, ari gnanq...". Es el aseci nran "Et DU erkar zhamanak ches zbaghvel". Edited July 27, 2005 by Armen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakharar Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 Cindy: Hey, Julia said I was pretty and Mike said I was ugly. What do you think of me?! William: Hmm, well, I think both they are right. Cindy: What ? William: You are pretty ugly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakharar Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 A man graduaded from university. And he studied logic. When he returned back to his village one of his friends saw him with some books in his hand. His friend asked him: Friend: What is that book? Man: Logic Friend: What is logic can you tell me? Man: Do you have an aquarium in your house? Friend: Yes Man: What does this reminds you? Friend: The Beach Man: What does the beach reminds to you? Friend: Topless ladies lyin on the beach Man: Look it means you are a man. This is logic. Friend: Can I keep this book? Man: Of course Later on his friend went to the main square of the village where he sees his other friend. And his friend asks: What is this book you have? He answered 'Logic ' His friend: What is logic can you tell me? Friend: Do you have an aquarium in your house? His friend: No Friend: Then you are gay its simple logic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAS Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 (edited) Աբրահամի կին Սառան մահանում է:Անցնում են երկար տարիներ, բայց Աբրահամը չի ամուսնանում:Մի օր հարեվան Մոշեն հարցնում է, թե ինչո՞ւ չի ամուսնանում: Ա. Ես որտեղի՞ց գտնեմ ասթմայով հիվանդ կին ամուսնանալու համար: Մ. Իսկ ինչո՞ւ անպայման հիվանդ կին... Ա. Սառայի մահից հետո այնքա՜ն դեղորայք է մնացել... ============================================================== Աբրահամի քունը չի տանում, անընդհատ շուռ ու մուռ է գալիս: Սառա. Աբրահամ, ի՞նչ է եղել, ինչո՞ւ չես քնում: Ա. Սառա, ես մեր հարևան Մոշեյին հինգ ռուբլի եմ պարտք և վաղը պիտի վերադարձնեմ: Ս. Իիի՜, այդպիսի դատրակ բանի համար չես քնո՞ւմ: Սառան պատուհանը բացում է ու գոռում՝ -Մոշե՛, ա՛յ Մոշե: -Ի՞նչ է, Սառա՛, չես թողնում քնել, գիշերով ձայնդ գլուխդ ես գցել: -Մոշե՛, Աբրահամը քեզ հինգ ռուբլի է պարտք և վաղը պետք է վերադարձնի՞: -Այո՛, բայց դրա համար մարդուն գիշերվա կեսին կարթնացնե՞ն: -Ուրեմն իմացի՛ր՝ Աբրահամը պարտքը էլ չի վերադարձնի... Աբրահամ, աղավնյակս, դու հիմա մուշմուշ, հանգի՜ստ քնիր, թող Մոշեն շուռ ու մուռ գա... Edited August 8, 2005 by SAS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armat Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 This is helerious http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v241/taeyoung/Avatar/160867842_m.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted August 8, 2005 Report Share Posted August 8, 2005 thats a good avatar for Sip or Azat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 Zambian Roulette As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, ''One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.'' A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms. ''I have come, my comrade, to try your game.'' ''Very well. Come with me.'' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. ''Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a XXXXXX(oral sex).'' ''But my friend, where is the danger in this?'' Umballa replied with a toothy smile, ''One of them is a cannibal.'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 hehehee ... those aren't bad odds though! This one isn't really a joke as far as I can tell: "Camel Toads". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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