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New Jokes Anyone?


hyebruin

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Hey Azat!! you got any more funny stuff??? it's been a while you know!!! and we can only wait soooooo long!! :rolleyes: ....... you post the funniest s**t ever that's why I'm putting U on the spot!! B) ...... :lol: :lol: ....aaaahhh!! for whatever reason? unbeknownst to me!! I think I'm funnier in person (vs. online!! :huh: )
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well, leave it to Sip to come up with the strangest looking pics ever!! i don't know which is funnier??? this computer lab one or the one with the drivers goin' postal (car crash pileup) :blink: :huh: .......they strange! but they sure look funny!!! :lol: ....and dan, question for you: is 'mate' the canadian version of bro/bud? or is it part of an esoteric geek vocab? (haaaaaaa :P ....sip knows what i mean!!) :)
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Garo jan tesnum es mez inchi terr en drel ???

 

de lav ban chka / sut chka vro gone kes@ j@shmartutyun chlini - i liek the 8th boll

 

 

--

 

OK Joke -

 

--

 

Yezdin arden zargatsela el nuyn@ chi - el kostyum hagnuma - Koshiki khozanak arandizn - Atami & zugarani khozanak arandzin.

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dan, question for you: is 'mate' the canadian version of bro/bud? or is it part of an esoteric geek vocab?

 

Hmmmm, I'm not sure about that one. ;) Many people here in Canada use the word "mate" to refer to "bro", even though it's typically Australian. ;)

 

And yea, I meant it as that, not something else. :lol:

 

Dan

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Well, just to add to the craziness, this one is 100% real! My bro was asking me today if he should take Basic Mule Principles or Advanced Mule Handeling at the community college this summer ... of course I told him he should go with the Advanced Mule since that will look better on his record when he applies to UCLA next year.

 

http://zr2.cs.ucla.edu/hf/saro.jpg

 

I am NOT making this up ... this is a direct scan of the course catalog. They also sometimes offer "underwater basket-weaving" but that one is not going to be offered this summer ... I guess Advanced Mules is the only choice. B)

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http://www.jokesandpictures.com/pictures/images/ancientsoccer.jpg

 

http://www.jokesandpictures.com/pictures/images/amouse.jpg

 

http://www.jokesandpictures.com/pictures/images/aworstjob.jpg

 

http://www.jokesandpictures.com/pictures/images/balance.jpg

 

http://www.jokesandpictures.com/pictures/images/differenceshop.jpg

 

http://www.jokesandpictures.com/pictures/images/evolution.jpg

 

http://www.jokesandpictures.com/pictures/images/printscreen.jpg

 

http://www.jokesandpictures.com/pictures/images/toilet.jpg

Edited by Dan
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LOL Dan, that evolution chart is hillarious!

Yea, I thought so too. :lol:

 

I have more funny stuff. I was suffering from insomnia last night, and was up till like 5 am, so I thought I'd surf the web for some funny pics to post on here. :P

Edited by Dan
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Guest Fadi
Don't worry Azat, I will find my Newfies(never was able to speel that word, won't surprise you I think) joke book(if I find it), and will post them(of course after changing the word Newfies for Americans :) ).
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... I have more funny stuff. I was suffering from insomnia last night, and was up till like 5 am, so I thought I'd surf the web for some funny pics to post on here.  :P

The web sure is full of funny stuff! I think after porn, funny is probably the most common thing on the web. So usually a link will be fine! Otherwise we'll fill up the hyeforum servers in NO time. Plus, keep in mind that not everyone has a broadband connection and quite a few people are still bandwidth challenged ... so we try to keep the number of pics and especially their size to very small. I probably have like several gigs of funny stuff on my disks ... just accumulated over the years. Not to mention the kilobytes of funny crap I delete every day out of my inbox from supposed friends that keep spamming me!!!!

 

That mall one I hadn't seen before! Pretty hillarious and TRUE. :D

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Guest Fadi
... I have more funny stuff. I was suffering from insomnia last night, and was up till like 5 am, so I thought I'd surf the web for some funny pics to post on here.  :P

Well, the web is full of funny stuff! I think after porn, funny is probably the most common thing on the web. So usually a link will be fine! Otherwise we'll fill up the hyeforum servers in NO time. Plus, keep in mind that not everyone has a broadband connection and quite a few people are still bandwidth challenged ... so we try to keep the number of pics and especially their size to very small.

 

That mall one I hadn't seen before! Pretty hillarious and TRUE. :D

Actually you are wrong.

 

1- Religion/god related stuff.

2- porn.

3- Funny stuff...

 

But you will be right, in the sense that religion/god and porn. could be viewed as well, funny stuffs. :)

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DUDE Domino! You're WHACKED if you think God is above porn. Just do a search on google ...

 

Porn - 58,000,000 links

God - 44,500,000 links

Religion - 17,400,000 links

Sip - 2,050 links!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: B)

 

Edit: Wow ... Sex 140,000,000 links

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Sorry seaphan you are wrong, porn is a general word like sex that is used in other language sites, while god is an english word, the word sex vs anything that has to do with religion, religion beats sex...

 

as for seaphan, Domino 45,400 links.

:)

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Ahahahahahahaah ... so I searched for Domino, on google here's some of what we got on Page 1

 

2) : : Camel Blog ~ The Life of a Performing Dromedary : :

4) Domino Car Rental Home Page

6) Domino Aloul's Home Page

7) Domino J. Kurdahi's Home Page

10) Professor Domino P. Deek, CCS-NJIT

 

and here's the first thing that comes up on page 2!!!!!!!

 

11) Loves Microsoft, Hates America :D :lol: :P

 

Unforunately, I couldn't see the article since it's on NY Times website :( :blink: Hey Domino, I understand the hate america but but LOVE microsoft? REALLY???? I thought you were a MAC guy!

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Ok I had to see what this was so I signed up for the free account ... here's the free part of the article about Domino:

 

Loves Microsoft, Hates America

 

By Adam Davidson (NYT) 1979 words

Late Edition - Final , Section 6 , Page 18 , Column 1

 

Domino is a 23-year-old unemployed computer programmer who lives in his parents' apartment in a nice, middle-class neighborhood in Amman, Jordan. Down one street is the big Amman McDonald's, down another is Domino's mosque, where he prays several times a day. Stocky, with a big, messy beard, Domino speaks softly, hunched over, looking at the ground. When he makes an important point, he asks you to repeat it, and when you show you understand, he lifts his head, leans back with a great smile and says, ''Sah,'' ''correct.'' One day, he explained to me in careful detail why he wants to be a shaheed, a suicide bomber against the United States, quoting at length from the Koran. But when he's not talking about blowing himself up and killing American troops, Domino talks about his other great dream. ''I want to be a programmer at Microsoft,'' he says. ''Not just a programmer. I want to be well known, famous.''

 

Domino gives me a tour of his parents' apartment: it is long and narrow, with a private living room for the family and another, more ornate one, for guests. Domino's bedroom is in the back, and it is small and bare. Everything Domino has on display sits on a small desk: a copy of the Koran, in blue leather with ornate gold Arabic script on the cover, and a few boxes of audiotapes that he listens to every day.

 

ahahahahahhahahaha hahahaha hahahah :lol2:

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I have a joke, here:

 

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

 

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

 

In response to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following:

 

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:

 

1.For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice

 

2.Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

 

3.Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.

 

4.Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

 

5.Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.

 

6.Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

 

7.The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.

 

8.New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.

 

9.The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off. :lol:

 

10.Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. :lol2:

 

11.GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. :lol:

 

12.Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

 

13.You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.

 

 

:lol2:

Edited by Dan
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Guest Fadi

OK, here is one, probably everyone of you know it already, so lets make my stupidity as a joke by telling a joke everyone already knows about. :)

 

How do you know a blond already used the computer ? When there is liquide papers on the screen or that there is cheese on the desk near the mouse.

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No Dan!!

Girls are the sweetest and the sau=unrliest thing ever invented (created?)next to ... HONEY.

It is that f....n gynephobic god (lower case g)of yours that started the whole thing labeling Eve as the "root of all evil" .

Give me a girl anytime!!! :angry:

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I have met many gays of both genfers. I won't use "sex" since that has the connotation of procreation.

Some of them may well be my best friends, what makes me sad about the whole thing is that they miss the best things in life, i.e a warm female next to one, or a virile man, whatever the case may be.

Why do people choose to live "so narrowly in this wide world", as my parents used to say?

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