Sip Posted May 1, 2003 Report Share Posted May 1, 2003 No Dan!!Girls are the sweetest and the sau=unrliest thing ever invented (created?)next to ... HONEY.It is that f....n gynephobic god (lower case g)of yours that started the whole thing labeling Eve as the "root of all evil" .Give me a girl anytime!!! Arpa, you just cannot argue with mathematics So give me EVIL anytime!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted May 1, 2003 Report Share Posted May 1, 2003 LOL Arpa, relax, it was just a joke. It doesn't express my views at all. I don't hate girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted May 1, 2003 Report Share Posted May 1, 2003 Yes, jokes also have subtle and tacit messages.Dan, her eis a friendly advice to you.Just like Garo said;You seem to be an imtelligent and articulate person but don't ever make your gender preference a political and social issue.As before I can only sympathize and d feel sorry for you for having missed the best in this world, i.e. GIRLS!!!e.g. I am a pedophile ( I am not), I am a bestialist (I am not), I am a rapist (I am not), I am an exhibitionist ( I am not), I am a sado masochist(I am not)... etc. Did I leave any other PERVERSION out?You have my permsission to shoot me and hang me if I make any of those PEVERSIONS a matter of politics and suject of sermons.One's personal life and perversions (and religious beliefs) are PERSONAL and shall remain so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted May 1, 2003 Report Share Posted May 1, 2003 (edited) Jesus Christ. Will you leave the fact that I'm not attracted to women out of this thread?! Thankyouverymuch. I would've posted the same thing if I were a girl/woman. Enough said. The link has been removed. Edited May 1, 2003 by Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted May 2, 2003 Report Share Posted May 2, 2003 This turned out to be not the story-line I was expecting: Record crowd makes Omaha pilgrimage for Buffett ... and I clicked with such enthusiasm too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted May 2, 2003 Report Share Posted May 2, 2003 Dan, I agree with you and I think you should put the link back. I found it very funny. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` First year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and then stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing"; he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted May 2, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2003 today in class we were talking about how a female athlete could never outrun/outperform a male athlete in speed simply because physiologically men have higher red blood cell and hemoglobin count....so i turned over to my friend (female) and said " yeah, too bad all that blood goes to the wrong places!!!"...i guess gravity takes over and the elevator can't make it all the way to the higher control centers!!!! on another note: arpa, you know girls love hearing things like that....you know all that sweet, honey, stuff..... i'd like to think of it as the key finding the right lock--makes sense, doesn't it?...problem is though...there are too many master keys out there!!!! <_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fadi Posted May 2, 2003 Report Share Posted May 2, 2003 No Dan!!Girls are the sweetest and the sau=unrliest thing ever invented (created?)next to ... HONEY.It is that f....n gynephobic god (lower case g)of yours that started the whole thing labeling Eve as the "root of all evil" .Give me a girl anytime!!! Arpa, you just cannot argue with mathematics So give me EVIL anytime!!!! AMEN !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted May 2, 2003 Report Share Posted May 2, 2003 LOL Azat, that was funny. I had heard it before though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mher Posted May 2, 2003 Report Share Posted May 2, 2003 LOYALTY PAYS OFF... Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?"His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted May 3, 2003 Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 Funny stuff ... So is it just me or does this whole SARS thing and the World Health Organization just have a complete "Abbott & Costello" sketch written all over it? WHO ordered the warning? Yes. WHO? WHO. That's what I'm asking. What? WHO. WHO? Yes. Why are you asking me for? That's what I said. By the way, don't know how many caught the latest south park episode but the part that Stan's dad got SARS and was telling his son that he only has a 98% survival chance, put me TOTALLY on the floor!!!!! ROFLMAO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted May 3, 2003 Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 The teacher asked little Harut if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers Harut. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," says Harut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted May 3, 2003 Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 A body builder picks up a woman at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the woman says, "What a great chest you have." The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite." He takes off his pants and the woman says, "What massive calves you have." The body builder tells her, "That's another 100 lb. of dynamite." He then takes off his underwear and the woman goes running and screaming out of the apartment. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He finally catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment. The woman replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted May 3, 2003 Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 LOL Azat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted May 3, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 azat!!! you're a natural!! thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 Best Blond Joke Ever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 Best Blond Joke Ever For the record - I am NOT blonde. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 I was blond and I did not even know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 I heard this a while back and thought it was fascinating ... it turns out that there is a small fact about the Titanic that not too many know about. When it left England, it was actually carrying the first supply of the British Hellman's Mayonnaise (click for their website for more info), bound for Mexico. But unfortunately, when the Titanic sank, all that was lost, causing great sorrow for the Mexican people. Even to this day they remember that tragic event every year, with what is now the day of Sinko De Mayo (tomorrow) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 Best Blond Joke Ever I will forever be reticent about clicking on the links you post in the future.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fadi Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 At the end Seaphan, there is two sites that redirects to each others... oups, forget what I said, I'm not a blond. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 At the end Seaphan, there is two sites that redirects to each others... oups, forget what I said, I'm not a blond. He he he ... maybe I was wrong ... maybe it's not the best blond joke ... I think it's more like "How do you keep Azat, Domino, Stormy, and Vava busy for 15 minutes" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fadi Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 At the end Seaphan, there is two sites that redirects to each others... oups, forget what I said, I'm not a blond. He he he ... maybe I was wrong ... maybe it's not the best blond joke ... I think it's more like "How do you keep Azat, Domino, Stormy, and Vava busy for 15 minutes" But Seaphan how can you know it takes 15 minutes ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted May 4, 2003 Report Share Posted May 4, 2003 Statistically speaking... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ Posted May 5, 2003 Report Share Posted May 5, 2003 The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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