Anileve Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 The media mogul said that changes to Al-Jazeera's programming would be "minimal" at first: "We'll be going through their news copy and every time they call President Bush 'Satan,' we'll take out the words 'President Bush' and replace them with the words 'Ted Kennedy.'" I had to read the article twice, then I clicked on the link and realized that it was intentionally humorous. These days administrative tragedy is a comedy on its own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 I am thinking Med or Armjan. Am I warm? style_images/master/snapback.png Dont know Evulinchka jan. I am no longer a mod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armjan Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Dont know Evulinchka jan. I am no longer a mod. style_images/master/snapback.png all of a sudden, I see my screen name as topic of discussion. is there a ? u would like to ask me, armen(armjan)? and no, why would i sign up twice. while I am writing this, I may as well write something somewhat funny. "somewhere in texas, a village is missing an idiot". ok, i will now get hate mail from bush supporters but what the heck... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 Hey, Sip would that make you a semi-feminazi? I am a lesbian trapped in a mans body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 I remember that line. Where was it from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 (edited) A bear and a rabbit are walking in the forest when they find a magic lamp. They rub it, and out comes a genie. The genie says, "I shall grant both of you three wishes." The bear gets really excited and says, " I wish all the bears in this forest were females..except me" The wish is done. The rabbit then says, "I wish I had a helmet." The wish is done. The bear then says "I wish all the bears in the country were female...except me." The wish is done. The rabbit then says, "I wish I had a motorcycle". The genie claps his hands and, poof, a motorcycle appears. The bear laughs and says, "I cant believe you are just throwing your wishes away. Whatever...okay genie, for my last wish, I wish that I was the only male bear left in the world." The genie claps his hands, and there are no more male bears left in the world. The rabbit laughs loudly and says, "I wish that that bear is gay." The genie claps his hands and the bear becomes gay . Before the bear can maul the rabbit, the rabbit jumps onto his motorcycle and drives away. Edited February 11, 2005 by Anonymouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 11, 2005 Report Share Posted February 11, 2005 (edited) A Christian, A Jew, and a Muslim walk into a bar... The Muslim blew himslf up. Edited February 11, 2005 by Anonymouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 12, 2005 Report Share Posted February 12, 2005 I remember that line. Where was it from? style_images/master/snapback.png Madonna had said something along those lines (the other way around I think) in an interview many many years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Med Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 now now you dont think that he would have signed up twice? do you? style_images/master/snapback.png I am a she by the way. I am thinking Med or Armjan. Am I warm? style_images/master/snapback.png What's so peculiar about that expression? They are all around me, though the country I live isn't known for its enlightened views on women. I live in the land of milk and money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 Really? Is Turkey the land of milk and money? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Med Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 Obviously not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Med Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 But then I have a co-citizen in this forum who disowns me because of my origins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koko Posted February 15, 2005 Report Share Posted February 15, 2005 why men shouldn't babysit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted February 15, 2005 Report Share Posted February 15, 2005 As if men are going to all the extrems to earn the right of babysiting ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koko Posted February 16, 2005 Report Share Posted February 16, 2005 (edited) yeah, and too many of them are not fit to be parents. Edited February 16, 2005 by koko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lara-chan Posted February 16, 2005 Report Share Posted February 16, 2005 a lot of women are not fit to be parents either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted February 17, 2005 Report Share Posted February 17, 2005 My word. So now it's me, Nakharar, Med, and a certain Armjan who post from the same IP address? Med, you're a she?? I need to retune - I couldn't pick up on Solaris, either. Speaking of - where is she?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solaris Posted February 17, 2005 Report Share Posted February 17, 2005 I need to retune - I couldn't pick up on Solaris, either. Speaking of - where is she?? style_images/master/snapback.png Here she is! While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am." "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me." "Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course." Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you idiot, it's Tony Blair!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Med Posted February 17, 2005 Report Share Posted February 17, 2005 My word. So now it's me, Nakharar, Med, and a certain Armjan who post from the same IP address? Med, you're a she?? I need to retune - I couldn't pick up on Solaris, either. Speaking of - where is she?? style_images/master/snapback.png I guess it's incomprehensible to some that girls are capable of handling other things than the TV remote. There is nothing easier than distinguishing men from the women in these forums. It's quite easy really. They are the ones who think in straight-angles, and when they are the slightest bit mentally challenged, they rehash the same old antics to inflate their wounded pride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted February 18, 2005 Report Share Posted February 18, 2005 I guess it's incomprehensible to some that girls are capable of handling other things than the TV remote. There is nothing easier than distinguishing men from the women in these forums. It's quite easy really. They are the ones who think in straight-angles, and when they are the slightest bit mentally challenged, they rehash the same old antics to inflate their wounded pride. style_images/master/snapback.png WTF are you talking about? I merely noted that I haven't been able to tell that it was the case with you and Solaris, while there was no mistaking that either Anileve or Nairi would be "a she." What's so hot-shot about retorting about that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakharar Posted February 18, 2005 Report Share Posted February 18, 2005 (edited) As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce, and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich, " she said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was not mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue. Later (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon." Edited February 18, 2005 by Nakharar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Med Posted February 18, 2005 Report Share Posted February 18, 2005 WTF are you talking about? I merely noted that I haven't been able to tell that it was the case with you and Solaris, while there was no mistaking that either Anileve or Nairi would be "a she." What's so hot-shot about retorting about that? style_images/master/snapback.png I had Solaris in mind. I don't know what you are. Don't take things too literally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 Big Bang theory is about the Day when a group of people who strangely call themselves "scientists" recevied a sledge-hammer blow on their head and since then go arround celebrating the event Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 (edited) What's the difference between a believer, an atheist and an agnostic? If there is a naked woman lieing in front of them: Believer will say: She's there and I can do it! Atheist will say: I could do it but unfortunately she's not there. Agnostic will say: Maybe she's there, maybe not. The important fact is that I can't do it anyway. Edited February 21, 2005 by Armen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted February 23, 2005 Report Share Posted February 23, 2005 http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/cgr0227l.jpg http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/sea0209l.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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