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New Jokes Anyone?


hyebruin

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Students rating their professors. :)

 

- You can't cheat in her class because no one knows the answers.

- His class was like milk, it was good for 2 weeks.

- Houston, we have a problem. Space cadet of a teacher, isn't quite attached to earth.

- I would have been better off using the tuition money to heat my apartment last winter.

- Three of my friends got A's in his class and my friends are dumb.

- Emotional scarring may fade away, but that big fat F on your transcript won't.

- Evil computer science teaching robot who crushes humans for pleasure.

- Miserable professor - I wish I could sum him up without foul language.

- Instant amnesia walking into this class. I swear he breathes sleeping gas.

- BORING! But I learned there are 137 tiles on the ceiling.

- Not only is the book a better teacher, it also has a better personality.

- Teaches well, invites questions and then insults you for 20 minutes.

- This teacher was a firecracker in a pond of slithery tadpoles.

- I learned how to hate a language I already know.

- Very good course, because I only went to one class.

- He will destroy you like an academic ninja.

- Bring a pillow.

- Your pillow will need a pillow.

- If I was tested on her family, I would have gotten an A.

- She hates you already.

Edited by allarmeniangirl
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A girl missed her two months.. Very worried, the

mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result

 

shows that the girl is pregnant.

 

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that

 

did this to you? I want to know!"

 

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a

 

Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished

 

man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit

 

steps out of it and enters the house.

 

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the

 

girl, and tells them:

 

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

 

However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll

 

take responsibility.

 

If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse,

 

a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.

 

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a

 

$2,000,000 bank account.

 

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there is

 

a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

 

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand

 

firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again!"

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  • 3 weeks later...

By AIJAZ ANSARI, Associated Press Writer Wed Aug 23, 5:21 PM ET

 

BOMBAY, India - When Hitler's Cross restaurant opened four days ago in a Bombay suburb, local politicians and movie industry types were on hand to celebrate beneath the posters of the Nazi leader and swastikas.

ADVERTISEMENT

 

The owner insisted then — and still does — that the name and theme of his new eatery is only meant to attract attention, even if it has outraged Bombay's Jewish community.

 

"It's really made people very upset that a person responsible for the massacre of 6 million Jews can be glorified," Elijah Jacob, one of the community's leaders, told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

 

But owner Puneet Sablok has refused to back down, and apart from Bombay's 4,500 Jews, there's been little controversy in India, where Holocaust awareness is limited, Hitler is regarded as just another historical figure and swastikas are an ancient Hindu symbol, displayed all over to bring luck. There are just 5,500 Jews in all of India.

 

"It's just to attract people. There is no intention to hurt anyone," said Sablok about his spacious restaurant, which serves pastries, pizza and salad in Navi Mumbai, a northern suburb of Bombay, which is also known as Mumbai.

 

Those objecting to the restaurant plan to ask the local government to force a name change, said Daniel Zonshine,

Israel's consul general in Bombay.

 

"Instead of Hitler's name being an example of extreme evil, this is like giving legitimacy to Hitler. It's not right to advertise his name in public," Zonshine said.

 

But while India is ordinarily sensitive to causing religious offense — recently taking action to bar "The Da Vinci Code" movie and cartoon drawings of the prophet Muhammad — at least one local leader said the name Hitler didn't bother him.

 

"People are unnecessarily making this into an issue," said Sudhir Jadhav, a local ruling party leader. "We have no plans to protest outside the restaurant or ask him to change the name."

 

Diners were also quite happy eating in Hitler's Cross.

 

"Hitler was a bad man, but what's wrong with having food here?" said Ashwini Phadnis, 22, a microbiology student as she tucked away a piece of chocolate cake.

 

Engineering student Anand Dhillon sat with friends, sipping soft drinks. "I think the name is quite interesting. Tomorrow if someone keeps a name like Saddam Mutton Shop or

George Bush Footwear :) , there's nothing wrong with that, is there?" he shrugged.

 

 

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060823/ap_on_...t/hitler_eatery

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  • 2 weeks later...

2 Turks with 2 donkeys were trying to find a way to tell each others donkeys apart. First they decided to cut a part of one of the donkeys ears off, the other donkey suffered an injury which made his ear look the same as the first. Then they decide to make a cut across one of the donkeys head, a couple of days later the other donkey suffers a similar injury.

 

Frustarted, the Turks finally say to each other "You take the white donkey, I'll take the black donkey."

 

:msn-cry: :o :D

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...
I had the most embarrasing moments anyone could have had but one of still makes laugh like hell. it was during my stay at the hotel. one day i was going down in the elevator when another person whom i havent met until then started talking to me.He asked 'How are you?" and I answered "Fine" surprised at it. He then asked me "What else are you up to" and i replied "nothing". Finally he turned to me and said "Do You Mind I Am On The Phone"!!.It was then that i realized he was talking on his Mobile. - Anonymous
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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Mek@ gnuma abarancu tun tesnuma poqr erexun drel en paharani glxin. Harcnuma inchu eq drel senc bardsr tegh?

 

Patasxanum en: erek kravatic @nkel er cheinq lsel...

 

 

 

wow Error, ay mart xi du es vor tiv es? yesel Gitem esteghi amena tariqaovre Arpana :)

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wow Error, ay mart xi du es vor tiv es? yesel Gitem esteghi amena tariqaovre Arpana :)

 

Delav es mek@ hastat lsac cheq @Lni.

 

Erku hat agrav urac nstac en tsari tshughin. Mek el mi 5 hat xartoc (file) trnelov galis en odi mej kangnum en u harcnum en te qaghaq@ vor koghmna. Agrav asuma aj. Xartocner@ gnum en ajov.

 

Mek el mi hazar hat xartoc eramov galis en u harcnum en: knereq qaghaq@ vor koghmna? Es agrav@ zarmacac asuma dsax.

Xartocneri eram@ dsaxova gnum.

 

Koghqic agrav@ asuma axper es xi en 5 hatin ugharkir qaghaq en hazarnerin el urish tegh?

Asuma: De qaghaqi inchina petq edqan xartoc?

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

erku hat xartoc trnelov galis en geti mot tenum en begemonti dsag@ parkac zagara @ndunum. Harcnum en: knereq qaghaq@ vor koghmna?

Begemontik@ (getadsi) asuma mi rope spaseq papais harcnem u skuma. Mi qich heto ashqi tak kaptac helnuma. Xartocner@ harcnum en: Papat inch asec?

Begemont: Hech asec himar lakot eli urel es?

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  • 6 months later...

Okay, this thread is 45 pages long, so forgive me if this joke has already been posted. In it's favour, at least it's short ;)

 

My Dad lived in Miami. whenever anyone would say "Hi!" to him (which in South Florida will happen 30 sisquillion times a day), he would say, "How did you know?" :rolleyes:

Edited by Saramelkonian
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  • 1 year later...

erevancin etumqa abaran avtoic ijnuma sksuma heraxosov xosal

 

 

 

es abarancina galis asuma es incha- asuma heraxos asuma vonc ara hmi yes karam sranov tun zangem?, asuma ha karas tant hamar@ asa havaqem ,havaquma tan hamar@ talisa abarancun, esi te inch asem kniksa asuma qfur tur asuma vekal du qfur tur im dzenic kchanachi

 

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