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New Jokes Anyone?


hyebruin

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Obviously you don't appreciate fine arts :P

Sasun that wasnt fine arts, that was as low as people can get... I dont "like" george bush, but some people "hate" him with such passion, its interesting that they cant explain to me why. Iv asked plenty, keep in mind i go to CSUN, and majority, if not all, of the students and staff are democrats and not to be stereotypical, they are hispanics. They have more rallies here against Bush than i wanna keep track of. All they want really, is someone of hispanic descent to take the seat, like they were cheering for Cruis Bustamante..

 

Anyhow, that was a rude site, and rather innacurate... and stormy was right, there is nothing there that was funny except the stupidity of the website producer..

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lol bruion i thought it was just me...hjaha he really does say that right?? when i say i noticed it, pple tell me im weird... he says nookyoolar..isnt it nookleear? i dunno im really lost here
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And calling Greeks "Grecians"

 

Somehow someone misunderstood what was Stormig referring to and how.

 

Bush is a moron, but we shouldn’t say he is a moron, not because he isn’t, but because we are more civilized, more then bush moron.

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Somehow someone misunderstood what was Stormig referring to and how.

 

Bush is a moron, but we shouldn’t say he is a moron, not because he isn’t, but because we are more civilized, more then bush moron.

Edo jan, did Stormig really say that much? :lol: I don't see how you came to that :P ;)

 

P.S. If we don't call the morons morons then who is going to call the morons morons? :)

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Edo jan, did Stormig really say that much? :lol: I don't see how you came to that :P ;)

Well, not in so many words :P but Edo understands me. :D

First off - it WASN'T funny.

Secondly - it wasn't in good taste.

Thirdly - it wasn't informative.

Fourthly - it went on for too long and I realized I wasn't going to get much beyond the "son of an a-hole"...

It's OK, Sasun, maybe I am missing a funny string here right now. Are we, Edo? :unsure:

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Well, not in so many words :P but Edo understands me. :D

First off - it WASN'T funny.

Secondly - it wasn't in good taste.

Thirdly - it wasn't informative.

Fourthly - it went on for too long and I realized I wasn't going to get much beyond the "son of an a-hole"...

It's OK, Sasun, maybe I am missing a funny string here right now. Are we, Edo? :unsure:

I thought it was pretty funny, sometimes vulgar things can be funny ;) I like that statement in a song. I wouldn't like it as much if it was not a song.

Somebody sent me the link and I didn't even realize that the same website had the other animation posted by Vava. I also liked that one better, but it was not funny at all but rather serious and without exaggerations.

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Stormig jan I hear you, tragic indeed. :D

 

ok here is a funny.

 

 

This is toooo Funny

From a transcript of a radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10 Oct 1995, between a US Navy vessel and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland:

 

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."

 

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."

 

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

 

Canadians: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."

 

Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Missouri. We are a large warship of the US Navy. DIVERT YOUR COURSE *NOW*."

 

Canadians: "We are a lighthouse. Your call." :D

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Fourthly - it went on for too long and I realized I wasn't going to get much beyond the "son of an a-hole"...

It doesn’t, it wouldn’t, it never will, and I'm afraid you’re right it will go on for a long time. <_<

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the husband comes home and asks the wife "notice anything new on me?" after she couldn't figure out, he took all his clothes off minus the shoes, jumped on the bed, and asked her to "look at where the 'arrow' is pointing!" :rolleyes: "awww you got new shoes" said the wife! then she grunted and said "couldn't you buy a hat instead?" :naughty: :lol2:
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Dreams Interpretation

 

 

After she woke up, a woman told her husband,

"I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace

for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package

and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it

- to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams"

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Me & The Angel

 

 

At the office, where I worked, there was an angel there.

Her hair was long and flowing, and her skin was soft and fair.

I wanted so, to ask her out, but I was way too shy.

I thought she was too beautiful, for me to even try.

 

A few times I approached her, she just smiled and walked away.

I could not get the courage up, and "Hi" was all I'd say.

Then, I had an idea, I would get her home address,

And send a valentine to her, and with it I'd express,

 

The way I feel about her, and the way she makes me feel,

And the feelings that I have, are very, very real.

I'll tell her, that I dream of her, and how it all would be,

If she would only take the time, to be alone with me.

 

I poured my heart out in the card, and ask her to be mine,

And then I dropped it in the mail, my special valentine.

In just a few short days, I had a response in my mail,

A card with her return address, I started feeling pale.

 

I wondered what she said in it, and what she thinks of me,

I guess the only way to know, is open it and see.

With great anticipation, I removed the envelope,

And closed my eyes a moment, as my heart filled up with hope.

 

I opened up my eyes to see, a card shaped like a heart,

And in the center, someone drew, a bloody piercing dart.

I opened up the card to see, if writing was inside,

And when I started reading it, I damn near almost died.

 

I'd love to be your valentine, but I think I will pass,

My husband says he'll be at work, to kick your stupid ass.

I'm glad you like my body, and you think it's really fine,

My husband says this card is going, where the sun don't shine.

 

In your card, you said there's things to me you'd love to do,

I think my husband's going to do, all of those things to you.

So, have a Happy Valentines, I'll see you Monday morn,

My husband says on Tuesday, you'll wish you were never born.

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Valentine Pledge

 

 

Honey, on this Valentine?s Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you.

Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?

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Newly Wedded

 

 

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been dating very long, it was very difficult decision. After careful consideration he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time.

The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up. The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties. The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:

"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.

"These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely.

I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me.

Love, Cuddle Bear

p.s. The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing.

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