Azat Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 some of you may find this funny. I know I did --- Enter "search engine" (without the quotation marks) into Google and press "I'm Feeling Lucky". I have a feeling Google knows something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 Hate being stuck in Automated phone hell being transfered from one menu to another? Just start cussing like a sailor http://www.wired.com/news/gizmos/0,1452,62...tw=wn_tophead_5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gurgen Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 some of you may find this funny. I know I did --- Enter "search engine" (without the quotation marks) into Google and press "I'm Feeling Lucky". I have a feeling Google knows something. I have a variation on this one: Type 'miserable failure' and press 'I'm feeling lucky' Let me know what you think Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 Newly Wedded A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day. As they had not been dating very long, it was very difficult decision. After careful consideration he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time. The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up. The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties. The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note: "This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove. "These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely. I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me. Love, Cuddle Bear p.s. The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing. Wooooooohoooooooooooo! Except, why is the title "Newly Wed(ded???)"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 Wooooooohoooooooooooo! Except, why is the title "Newly Wed(ded???)"? Yes, my question exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 What I don't want to know is where the sister is going to put the gloves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 (edited) Upside Down Blonde What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath. youre gonna have to have a heck of an imagination 4 this one...i had to have someone explain it 2 me...lol sorry its nasty i know! Edited February 15, 2004 by angel4hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 Wooooooohoooooooooooo! Except, why is the title "Newly Wed(ded???)"? Very good quesion!!!! But I have noooo idea.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 What I don't want to know is where the sister is going to put the gloves. A girls got to do what she's got to do!!!! http://queerhye.delri.net/amot.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 hahahahha this is a good one...read on... Juicy Squirt The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!" The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 a Joke for Sipchik To realize the value of one year, ask the student who has failed a class. To realize the value of one month, ask the mother who has given birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of one week, ask the editor of a weekly. To realize the value of one day, ask a daily wage laborer. To realize the value of one hour, ask the man waiting for his girlfriend. To realize the value of one minute, ask the person who has just missed his flight. To realize the value of one second, ask the person who has survived an accident. To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who has just won silver in the Olympics. To realize the value of one nanosecond, ask a hardware engineer. And if you still don't realize the value of time, you must be a software engineer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted February 19, 2004 Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 God has created the Sun. The Devil took advantage and created the Sunstroke. God has created Sex. The Devil took advantage and created the Marriage. At the end, God has created a Lawyer. After hard and prolonged contemplation, the Devil created another Lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 19, 2004 Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 That's a good one. Azat, LMAO at software engineers too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted February 19, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 God has created the Sun. The Devil took advantage and created the Sunstroke. God has created Sex. The Devil took advantage and created the Marriage. At the end, God has created a Lawyer. After hard and prolonged contemplation, the Devil created another Lawyer. ....then God created a brain for man and woman, and the devil made an additional one for men! thus began, the war of the sexes!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 25, 2004 Report Share Posted February 25, 2004 http://www.getfunnypictures.com/crt183.html check this site out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted February 27, 2004 Report Share Posted February 27, 2004 JOB OPENING: The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background check, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists .... Two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair." <_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=VAHE=- Posted February 28, 2004 Report Share Posted February 28, 2004 Q: What does the blonde say to the doctor when she finds out she's pregnant? A: Is it mine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=VAHE=- Posted February 28, 2004 Report Share Posted February 28, 2004 Guess Who? A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing. "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=VAHE=- Posted February 28, 2004 Report Share Posted February 28, 2004 (edited) This one is for crazy hagarag. So this one is for you oh crazy one. Republican Lightbulb Replacement Policy How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to change the bulb, one to call the media to publicize it, and one to blame the electric bill on the democrats. Edited February 28, 2004 by Vahe G. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 28, 2004 Report Share Posted February 28, 2004 What a Gasser A young man goes home from a war to see his mother in the hills of West Virginia. She has never left the hills and has never seen anything like her son's uniform or gun. He shows his mother both items, then she asks about the grenades on his belt. He says,“'Well, you pull the pin and throw it.” She still doesn't quite get it, so he decides to demonstrate and throws it into the backyard. The outhouse blows up and his mother cries, “Son you shouldn't have done that! Your father was in there.” And out crawls his father, all covered in dirt. He looks over at the hole and says, “Good thing I didn't let that off in the house.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gurgen Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 Right I have a Hayeren one, pretty old but some of you might not have heard it. Mi Kharabkhtsun avtojov militsan pokhotsum kangnatsum e. Inke durs e galis ev asum: 'Es Robon el gordzi chi?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyRoss Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 New Jokes Anyone? Oh sorry...not today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koko Posted April 3, 2004 Report Share Posted April 3, 2004 (edited) hahahha gurken...funny joke. Mi ksherki vra nstats en 4 puzatiy mafioz. Harts: Qani sovats hye kaghakatsi petk e teghadrel myus ksherki vra, vorpeszi ksherki amannere linen havasar qashi? Edited April 3, 2004 by koko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyRoss Posted April 5, 2004 Report Share Posted April 5, 2004 "What??? Don't you want me to be sexy ?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted May 16, 2004 Report Share Posted May 16, 2004 Heaven and hell (Armenians) Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Armenians up here who are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing." The Lord said, "Armenians are Armenians, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil." The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Damn, hold on a minute." The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?" Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there." The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?" Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?" The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on." This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those damn Armenians have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.