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New Jokes Anyone?


hyebruin

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I can't wait for hyebruin's counter...LOL...indeed funny though...

 

thanks thoth! for remembering 'bruin B) ...i've read that before..very accurate indeed! the thing is....here it comes!! --- we can't write anything better for men...'cause we women are more fun, daring, charged, dramatic, animated, exagerrated...and just so much more exciting compared to 'the typical man'...that there really would be nothing to write! ---after all " a man is just....a man" :( ............ :lol: :lol: :lol:

I agreee 100% of course...and yes...exciting certainly (you women certainly are...:naughty: ) - at the very least...LOL...but can you slog a 6 pack down :beer: :cheers: and shout unprintable insults :censored: at the oppsing team? I think we may have you there! ...though I must say I am plenty fun, daring, charged, dramatic, animated, exagerrated and all of that - and I can (and do) cook and clean too! :flex: ...but (as a guy) I certainly wouldn't want to sleep with me...or even just take myself out on a date! :yucky: LOL.... :wink_kiss:

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all that with exception of course!!! ----there are some more 'interesting' variants/deviants of the species!! :D

No doubt, no doubt... :fox: :yes:

 

...and i should hope so (or that you would think so)...otherwise I would be very worried (for you) of course...

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thoth you just cracked me up with that "yukkkkkky" face followed by 'taking yourself out on a date!' dude! where do you get these ideas from? totally funny! (on the contrary, i'd love to take me out ;) if i was a guy!)...that's the 2nd funniest thing i read today... the 1st one was school related (reading assignment)...which i don't think i was supposed to find funny! :P
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all that with exception of course!!! ----there are some more 'interesting' variants/deviants of the species!! :D

Tata?

 

aaaahhhh, Sip jan, you're pretty darn funny too, tonight! :lol: :lol: ....aaaah, what can i say? i love that carrottop that pokes its head out once in a while!!...i don't know tata personally, but if he's a freak! heyyyyyyyyy! that's definitely...hmmm..."interesting"!!!! ;)

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A climber in the mountain is trying to climb a high rock. Suddenly he

stops. He cannot go up, but he also cannot go down anymore. He starts

crying for help.

- Help, help ! !

Nobody answers.

- Hey, is there anybody up there ?

Suddenly the Heavens open up and God Himself appears.

- Do you need My help ?

- Oh yes, yes ! God, help me !

- Then let go off the rock and I shall help you !

...Hey, is there anybody else up there ?

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There was a rich farmer who was very mean. He had a garden full of

beautiful fruit trees, but he was so mean, that he never gave any

fruit to any child. As he was afraid of thieves, he wrote on the fence

of his garden :

- GOD SEES EVERYTHING.

Next morning, when he came to his garden, he found it was empty, but

on the fence he could read :

- BUT HE WILL NOT SAY IT TO ANYBODY.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Bicycle

An Indian and a priest are walking through the woods. The priest is teaching the Indian the English language, so he can be integrated into the "white man's society".

 

As they walk along, the priest sees a tree and says to the Indian, "Tree." They continue walking along and come upon a bush, and the priest says to the Indian, "Bush".

 

They keep walking and eventually come out into a small clearing, where they come upon a man and a woman having sex. The priest is so upset that he's not sure what he should tell the Indian. The only thing he can think of to say is, "Man riding a bicycle."

 

The Indian then pulls out his bow and arrow, aims and instantly kills the man. The priest turns to the Indian and says, "What'd you do that for?"

 

The Indian replies, "MY bicycle!!"

 

---------------

 

You are obsessed!

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.

 

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy".

 

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny".

 

He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy".

 

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."

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here's one from the newly released "American Wedding"...you guys remember Stiffler, the Stiffmeister, right? the hillarious looking (sexy ;) ), sex-crazed player...

well, at one point in the movie as he is about to kick a guy "down there" he asks the poor guy: "What's the capital of Thailand?"...and as the guy answers it ("Bangcock") he gets struck!! :( ................. :lol: ....(sorry if it was a little risque!!)

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Role reversal

 

 

TV anchor woman Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait

 

 

several years before the Gulf War. She noted that women customarily

walked a few feet behind their husbands.

In a follow-up story, she returned to Kuwait recently & observed that

men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms. Walters approached

one of the Kuwaiti women and said, "This is marvelous! Can you tell the

free world just what it was that enabled women here to achieve this total

reversal of roles?"

"Land mines," replied the woman.

 

:lol2:

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Have you heard the saying "Once you go Armenian, you'll never go back"?

 

Men be proud and tell all the foreigners about our large cucumbers.

 

4 inches, 6 inches, 9 inches. HAAA that's for armature foreign variety, the smallest Armenian one is 1 foot long and can get to be up to 3 feel long. BE PROUD and tell everyone about it.

 

http://www.swallowtailgardenseeds.com/vegg...s/cucumber.html

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