Azat Posted March 30, 2005 Report Share Posted March 30, 2005 http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/6660/2008cc1.swf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted March 30, 2005 Report Share Posted March 30, 2005 Why do I have a feeling that my ass is going to be kicked at the next tabuleh meeting? ---- After God had created man he stepped back and admired his work: "Look at this perfect physique, the strong but yet handsome features, the well balanced proportions, I have to say, I am in awe with myself." Then he turned and looked at the woman. After he had been studying her for a while he said: "Well, I guess you will have to wear make-up..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Islamic couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their Mullah for counselling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, We realize it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together. Absolutely not, says the Mullah. It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately. So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife? No, answered the Mullah, It's forbidden in Islam. Well, okay, says the man, What about sex? Can we finally have sex? Of course!, replies the Mullah, Allah ho Akbar! Sex is OK within marriage, to have children! What about different positions? asks the man. Allah ho Akbar! No problem, says the Mullah. Woman on top? the man asks. Sure, says the Mullah. Allah ho Akbar. Go for it! Doggy style? Sure! Allah ho Akbar! On the kitchen table? Yes, yes! Allah ho Akbar! Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video? You may indeed. Allah ho Akbar! Can we do it standing up? No. says the Mullah. Why not? asks the man. Because that could lead to dancing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Adam was talking to his friend at the bar. -I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday, he said. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck. -I have an idea!, his friend said. Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled. Adam decided to take his friend's advice. The next day at the bar his friend said, -Well? Did you take my suggestion? -Yes, I did, Adam replied. -Did she like it? -Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling 'I'll be back in an hour!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 Kocharyan@ Levonin ( LTP ) kula talis, levon@ hasnuma stamoks tesnuma lriv xorhrdaran@ mej@ nstaca, levon@ harcnuma - ara et kocharyan@ saxit kula tvel ? --- che menk hetevi drnov enk mtel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted March 31, 2005 Report Share Posted March 31, 2005 A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?" He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron." The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?" He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted April 10, 2005 Report Share Posted April 10, 2005 For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have naively thought it had something to do with their religion. The true story has just been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington. When one of these women gets married, on her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station, or a motel inFlorida. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armjan Posted April 10, 2005 Report Share Posted April 10, 2005 For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have naively thought it had something to do with their religion. The true story has just been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington. When one of these women gets married, on her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station, or a motel inFlorida. style_images/master/snapback.png maybe it's there to remind you when coffee is ready! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakharar Posted April 11, 2005 Report Share Posted April 11, 2005 Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you. George B. : - Good, send her in. Secretary: - Yessir. Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President. George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening? Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China. George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on me. Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China. George B. : - Well, that's what I want to know. Condoleeza : - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President. George B. : - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China? Condoleeza : - Yes. George B. : - I mean the fellow's name. Condoleeza : - Hu. George B. : - The guy in China. Condoleeza : - Hu. George B. : - The new leader of China. Condoleeza : - Hu. George B. : - The Chinaman! Condoleeza : - Hu is leading China, Mr. President. George B. : - Whaddya' asking me for? Condoleeza : - I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George B. : - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China? Condoleeza : - That's the man's name. George B. : - That's who's name? Condoleeza : - Yes. George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. George B. : - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condoleeza : - That's correct. George B. : - Then who is in China? Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. George B. : - Yassir is in China? Condoleeza : - No, sir. George B. : - Then who is? Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. George B. : - Yassir? Condoleeza : - No, sir. George B. : - Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone. Condoleeza : - Kofi Annan? George B. : - No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap. Condoleeza : - You want Kofi? George B. : - No. Condoleeza : - You don't want Kofi. George B. : - No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. George B. : - Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations. Condoleeza : - Kofi? George B. : - Milk! Will you please make that call? Condoleeza : - And call who? George B. : - Well, who is the guy at the U.N? Condoleeza : - No, Hu is the guy in China. George B. : - Will you stay out of China?! Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. George B. : - And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condoleeza : - Kofi. George B. : - All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. Condoleeza : - Hello. Rice, here. George B. : - Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted April 11, 2005 Report Share Posted April 11, 2005 During their campaign trail the Prez and the Veep had stopped at a diner for lunch. After reading the menu the Prez told the server that he would like a quickie. The server walked away with a huff. The Prez was confused. The Veep turned to the Prez and said; Sir, that is pronounced "quiche". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted April 12, 2005 Report Share Posted April 12, 2005 A couple were dining out one evening, when the wife noticed a familiar face at the restaurant's bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "I know that guy at the bar and he has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago!" Her husband quickly replied, "That's silly, no one celebrates that long?!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted April 12, 2005 Report Share Posted April 12, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts? Her navel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hytga Posted April 21, 2005 Report Share Posted April 21, 2005 The other day i sat down to do calculus homework, then all of a sudden i realized i was trying to write equations with a fork Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted April 21, 2005 Report Share Posted April 21, 2005 For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have naively thought it had something to do with their religion. The true story has just been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington. When one of these women gets married, on her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station, or a motel inFlorida. style_images/master/snapback.png Ahahahahah....ehem....that was so stereotypical of you. The "Condi and Bush" dialogue was very creative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted April 25, 2005 Report Share Posted April 25, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted April 25, 2005 Report Share Posted April 25, 2005 Sip. Shame on you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted April 26, 2005 Report Share Posted April 26, 2005 Movses es verjers du Syria ho ches yexel barekam? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted April 26, 2005 Report Share Posted April 26, 2005 from Cheburashka's medical files... http://ifun.ru/content/m/M9vjiOVnRh.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted April 26, 2005 Report Share Posted April 26, 2005 Anpayman uzzum es or Azat @ HUzzvi ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp For air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would Blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 That's disgusting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 " I think I got most of them back in" ohhhh Boyyy Nayi menak Sovorutyun chdarna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 Hivand - Bjishk Shat em Hazzum Bjishk - es 2 Degher@ xmi kantsni 2 shabat ants hivand - bjishk jan hazz@ antsav bjishk - el icnh ka ? Hivand - gluxs tsvum e bjishk iys 3 Degher@ xmi kantsni shabats ants Bjishk - ha eli tsavum e ? Hivand - voch - amen icnh lav e menak mi urish problemel unem Bjishk - asa tesnem Hivand - de djvara asel - bayts qani or amen inch bujjum es - asem - Gomik em - karrogh es bujel ??? Bjishk - hmmmm~ es 4 degher@ vertsra or@ 6 angam k@xmes kantsni 4 shabat 4 shabat ants Bjishk - ha inchpe se s? Hivand - ehhh bjishk lav chem - bjishk - inch a patael ?? Hivand - ehh bjishk jan 4 shabata zugaranist durs chem galsi - luts em k@pel Bjishk - iy hima haskatsar? te astvats hetuy@ inchi Hmaar e steghtsel ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted April 27, 2005 Report Share Posted April 27, 2005 " I think I got most of them back in" ohhhh Boyyy Nayi menak Sovorutyun chdarna style_images/master/snapback.png Et anekdot gites che Movses jan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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