Ani Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 It IS preferable to marry an Armenian rather than an odar, BUT it is preferable to marry an odar rather than never getting married. There are SO many in the Armenian community who NEVER marry, waiting for the Armenian Mr. Right or Miss Right. Balakian wrote about his three maiden aunts and I know a few very attractive Armenian women who have never married. Ditto some good-looking Armenian men who are very successful. This Armenian taboo has ruined many lives. Lol ...This reminded me of a joke... 2 Armenian old friends meet each other in America.. First man_ Vonces axper jan? Second man_ Hech lav chem... First man_ Inchu??? Second man_ Txes txayi heta amusnanum... First man_ GONE HAYA????? Its preferable to marry a non armenian....girl..In ^^^This kind of cases Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nanor Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Hey every one! what you guys think about "we armenians should marry an armenian"? Today i met a women she was very upset about her son's girlfriend it's just because she is russian.Is it right or wrong?... Hello there I agree some of you. I believe that getting married to Armenian is much richer feeling, since after marriage, when you find to have children, you want to be proud to learn Armenian. but since I am married to a greek, my solution is to teach Armenian. And yes, he is willing to learn and always learns. I do not believe sitting and waiting for Armenian man forever. I sat for years to do what my culture says, and I only ended up with a broken heart with Armenian men who were so macho and selfish and aboush avanag, chesem hima.... If you are so much willing to keep your Armenian blood, if you have a fantastic man or woman who is willing to love you, and then your job is to teach the culture you come from. Not sitting and waisting your beautiful young years. The end of the day, which Armenian is going to come knocking your door to ask 'are you all right so many years being so lonely and sad?' - ! TEACH ARMENIAN! THAT'S YOUR JOB AS WELL AS MINE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 I sat for years to do what my culture says, and I only ended up with a broken heart with Armenian men who were so macho and selfish and aboush avanag, chesem hima.... I'm happy that you gave Armenian men a chance. Even though you could not find one that you could love and marry, you should not generalize and call all Armenian men as avanags. Yes we have our fair share of them but this is also true with Armenian women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianjan Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Hey every one! what you guys think about "we armenians should marry an armenian"? Today i met a women she was very upset about her son's girlfriend it's just because she is russian.Is it right or wrong?... Hi, Well read through all the posts and decided to put my 2 cents into this conversation, since this is very near and dear to my heart. I know that between Armenians this is a huge discussion, and on one hand I do understand that it would be nice to marry someone of Armenian nationality, but sometimes that's just not the case. First of all...I'm engaged to a Jewish guy of Russian descend. We've been together for over 7 years and wedding is to take place this fall. I still often get those remarks from many Armenians, that I'm making a mistake and that I should wait for an Armenian guy...But even though, nationality is good, that's not the main quality that I'm looking in a guy. My Fiancee has many qualities that any good Armenian man should have. He is generous, he takes care of me, he's always there for me, he respects me and sees me as his equal, he treasures and respects his parents, and many many more. To be honest, couldn't find those qualities in an Armenian guy here. And many of you are correct, something happened to Armenians who are living in US. They're just not the same, and they don't have those values that we all were brought up with. And another point on assimilation...As long as we don't forget who we are, we will not assimilate. As long as you teach your children their ethnicity, they will not forget it. I know some Armenians that came from pure Armenian blood, and you wouldn't even know that they're Armenian. And yet there are others, who's one parent isn't Armenian, and they cherish Armenian culture and try to reach out to their culture even more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 (edited) Why are we insulting our great Armenian men? I am new on the site, but everywhere I look our boys are being put down said to be no good for anything. What is wrong with you guys? Have you never met a good Armenain man? I know lots of them who are good husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers. I know there are many bad apples among them but please give a few the chance before calling all of them worthless. And if you need help finding them, let me know. I have many single cousins who cannot find "good" girls anywhere. LOL. p.s. How many "otar" men can recite Teryan or Charenc for his Armenian girlfriend and understand the depth of each word? Edited August 2, 2006 by Em124 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Why are we insulting our great Armenian men? I am new on the site, but everywhere I look our boys are being put down said to be no good for anything. What is wrong with you guys? Have you never met a good Armenain man? I know lots of them who are good husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers. I know there are many bad apples among them but please give a few the chance before calling all of them worthless. And if you need help finding them, let me know. I have many single cousins who cannot find "good" girls anywhere. LOL. p.s. How many "otar" men can recite Teryan or Charenc for his Armenian girlfriend and understand the depth of each word? Em124 I love you, I like to hug you and kiss you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Em124 I love you, I like to hug you and kiss you. Aaaw, shucks. Thank you Yervant. But I really mean it, I wouldn't trade one of our bad men with a great otar anyday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianjan Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Aaaw, shucks. Thank you Yervant. But I really mean it, I wouldn't trade one of our bad men with a great otar anyday. And you would sacrifice your happiness?? Marrying a bad Armenian?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Aaaw, shucks. Thank you Yervant. But I really mean it, I wouldn't trade one of our bad men with a great otar anyday. I know you mean it. I mean it as well and I drink genats to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Why are we insulting our great Armenian men? I am new on the site, but everywhere I look our boys are being put down said to be no good for anything. What is wrong with you guys? Have you never met a good Armenain man? I know lots of them who are good husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers. I know there are many bad apples among them but please give a few the chance before calling all of them worthless. And if you need help finding them, let me know. I have many single cousins who cannot find "good" girls anywhere. LOL. p.s. How many "otar" men can recite Teryan or Charenc for his Armenian girlfriend and understand the depth of each word? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 And you would sacrifice your happiness?? Marrying a bad Armenian?? A bad Armenian in the eyes of the beholder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianjan Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 A bad Armenian in the eyes of the beholder. Well, I'm just quoting Em124's words...It seems that it's in her eyes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 And you would sacrifice your happiness?? Marrying a bad Armenian?? Don't you know dianjan our happiness means nothing to us as long as others don't think any bad of us. Don't you understand if others are happy in return that makes us happy? EM124 there are good Armenian men and bad Armenian men, just like other ethnicities But if I had too choose between a caring and respectful other over a Jerk who happens to be Armenian, I will pick the other in a heartbeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 And you would sacrifice your happiness?? Marrying a bad Armenian?? Meki vat@ muysi lavna. Believe me I was with one of the so- called bad ones for many years but I haven't lost faith in all the others. Everybody has the ability to become more tolerant and nicer than they are. Why aren't we asking ourselves what we can do to make things better before we give up on them? Don't you think we should at least try? Did you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Don't you know dianjan our happiness means nothing to us as long as others don't think any bad of us. Don't you understand if others are happy in return that makes us happy? EM124 there are good Armenian men and bad Armenian men, just like other ethnicities But if I had too choose between a caring and respectful other over a Jerk who happens to be Armenian, I will pick the other in a heartbeat. Extra jan, I know what you mean, but I have never been attracted to otars. Mer tgheq@ shat hamov en. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Well, I'm just quoting Em124's words...It seems that it's in her eyes... I am sorry if my statements were offensive. I am just stating my opinion. But I fully respect your choice. If that makes you happy then I am very happy for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 I know you mean it. I mean it as well and I drink genats to that. Anush lini. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 Did I mention that you did a great job w/ the site? Maladec. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianjan Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 I am sorry if my statements were offensive. I am just stating my opinion. But I fully respect your choice. If that makes you happy then I am very happy for you. Actually, your statement wasn't offensive to me...I just don't understand giving up my happiness just to be with an "Armenian".. But that's just my oppinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianjan Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Meki vat@ muysi lavna. Believe me I was with one of the so- called bad ones for many years but I haven't lost faith in all the others. Everybody has the ability to become more tolerant and nicer than they are. Why aren't we asking ourselves what we can do to make things better before we give up on them? Don't you think we should at least try? Did you? Yes I did try. I dated an Armenian, and couldn't see myself with him for the rest of my life. On one hand he was a great guy, we're still friends and we talk very often, and he's going to make some woman very very happy some day. He was the old fashion Armenian...We were only dating and that's it, and I already saw what my life would've been. He wanted me to quit working and stay home after we get married (That's never going to happen). He was possessive...I realized that if I would've married him, he'd want me to tell him where I am at all times and where I'm going. That just doesn't work for me. I'm very independent person. I wouldn't be able to live like that. He expected me to be the "perfect" wife. Cook, clean, sit home and raise kids... That's just not me. So, we broke up. He's actually now dating a Russian girl who's totally happy with that, and she's a great girl. But I would hate my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Yes I did try. I dated an Armenian, and couldn't see myself with him for the rest of my life. On one hand he was a great guy, we're still friends and we talk very often, and he's going to make some woman very very happy some day. He was the old fashion Armenian...We were only dating and that's it, and I already saw what my life would've been. He wanted me to quit working and stay home after we get married (That's never going to happen). He was possessive...I realized that if I would've married him, he'd want me to tell him where I am at all times and where I'm going. That just doesn't work for me. I'm very independent person. I wouldn't be able to live like that. He expected me to be the "perfect" wife. Cook, clean, sit home and raise kids... That's just not me. So, we broke up. He's actually now dating a Russian girl who's totally happy with that, and she's a great girl. But I would hate my life. The irony is whatever we don't do for an Armenian we do it for an odar with pleasure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianjan Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 The irony is whatever we don't do for an Armenian we do it for an odar with pleasure. What do you mean?? I left him because I wasn't willing to do it for him, and I'm not willing to do it ever for any otar. I was raised in a family where a woman is an equal to any man, and I'll never give that up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 Years ago I was very much like you. Then I fell in love with an "old-fashioned" guy and had to either change my ways a bit for love or give him up. So I decided to try and do everything that you mentioned you wouldn't do. I can honestly say I am glad that I gave it a real chance. It doesn't matter that it didn't work out. I have no regrets. Real love doesn't come around very often, so you have to compromise and open your heart. Obviously, adultery and abuse should not be accepted. I am not advocating cave-men like characteristics. But some of my friends avoid guys 'cause they are "too Armenian". How can somenone find this to be a bad thing? Again, I am glad that you are happy in your choice , but I am sure some great Armenian guy could have made you happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 What do you mean?? I left him because I wasn't willing to do it for him, and I'm not willing to do it ever for any otar. I was raised in a family where a woman is an equal to any man, and I'll never give that up. Time will tell my dear. In my family women are also equal to men, but what happened to give and take, find an equal formula and work it out rather than giving up on them and go to the arms of odars and later do things that you didn't want to do in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 What do you mean?? I left him because I wasn't willing to do it for him, and I'm not willing to do it ever for any otar. I was raised in a family where a woman is an equal to any man, and I'll never give that up. Dianjan, you are right in making your choice. If being equal to a man was the most important thing to you then you made the only choice you could. Men and women are too different to be equal. And in reality, there can be no equals. One has to be a tiny bit more "equal" so that chaos can be avoided. Someone always has to give in a little or compromise. And most of the time, if you let them feel like a man then they will let you have it your way. They just don't like to be broken. I have always been respected in my family also, but I was also taught to be a lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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