ME5 Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 What does the b/f want from this relationship? And the kids thing,it might not be available if one waits too long. I have a cousin in New York,brilliant beyond words,nice person,good looking and so on.She has degree after degree,there are so many intials after name on her business card!Amazing!she's in her 40s now.Lonely like you wouldn't beleive.Owns her own home,is writting a book,great job(s). But she waited too long.She has all this and is lonely.B/f's come and go.No children and it will be too late soon. It's something you have to think long and hard about.Cause once those years are gone,they are gone.Your b/f or your body isn't gonna hold on because you wanted to get your career going.And on your deathbed(I hate that saying)no one is going to wish they finished their PHD! Ok my two cents,I'mdone now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hasmiek Posted December 16, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 many wise words here (and some lesser wise, yet funny), it is good to be back... The Ph.D thing is something I won't let go of, also because i'm pretty far in the running for a huge scholarship. No matter what my mom says...and I don't see why I wouldn't be able to get married and have a child during the Ph.D (I somehow see Sip going nononooooo now). (is your research finished yet?) well, I do have to say that i'm shocked to say how many people say that one could get baptized without believing in church and God. I find that very weird, if you do that what is still true, and why get married? You commit yourself to God, but just avoid a fight with your mother in law...so what will the commitment of marriage then mean? And to answer the questions about what my boyfriend and I want of this relationship; he wants to get married, but not in church ( I don't think sending him over to you guys would really help to change his mind...but thanks for the offer). And I'm not so focussed on gettin' married in church and I don't really feel like a typical marriage... Babies we want within 2 years. So we do have a planning in a way. well then... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 hey - I'm going to second the finsih your PHD first...babies can wait till after...because if you don't then you will never finsih it up (for a time to come at least). As for boyfriend belief & baptisim. Well sometimes you do things to please your other..and sometimes you do things to please your family - within reason of course. But being slefich isn't always a virtue...but neither is always giving in and subverting oneself to the family. But doing what you can (again within reason) to me is a sign od\f some maturity - some consideration for others. So yeah - I would suggest that he could go through the motions - without overly comprimising himself (I mean if he doesn't believe then no harm eh?)...and marraige in a church - your call of course 9but again - whats the big deal...its traditional - families like it etc etc)...of course I should talk - we got married in a lodge up in the mountains....but it helps when the both of us were/are non-believers and were her folks and my dad were as well...and my mom - was juts please as all that i was settling down (and not with one of the wilder crowd I used to hang with! LOL) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shahumyan Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 have a big fat greek wedding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted December 16, 2003 Report Share Posted December 16, 2003 ... The Ph.D thing is something I won't let go of, also because i'm pretty far in the running for a huge scholarship. No matter what my mom says...and I don't see why I wouldn't be able to get married and have a child during the Ph.D (I somehow see Sip going nononooooo now). (is your research finished yet?) nononooooo Getting married won't be much of a problem I am guessing if you are serious about the research. Actually it may help put your mind a bit at ease that at least that step is taken care of But about the child ... I don't know. I have certainly known a few that have had a family and a few children and been doing quite well in research ... treating in like a 9-5 job really. I have also known those that didn't have a single commitment in their life and still went around looking dazed and confused and not getting anywhere. I'm not going to sit here and tell you ... "no it can't be done" ... what I will tell you is that being married and pursuing a Ph.D. probably won't be much of a problem (other than the financial aspects) ... and as far as kids, give it a few years and see how it goes. After all, "doing a Ph.D." is not just about doing it. It's about enjoying it ... it's about becoming it. You want to allow yourself time, energy, and enough "focus" as I could certainly not be able to treat it as a 9-5 job. Just doesn't seem to work like that. is your research finished yet? There is no end ... only new beginnings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelina Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 Hi Hasmik Go for your PHD you will make it. I got my phd when I was married. Take the opportunity and do it now I strongly recomend it. You wont regret in the future. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 wtf is going on? Everyone either has or is in the process of getting a PHD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 wtf is going on? Everyone either has or is in the process of getting a PHD. i don't even have my bachelor's degree yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 I'm a High School drop out!!!!....(true) ...did complete bachelors in college (political Science and Anthropology) however...(at the age when many were just finishing High School...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted December 17, 2003 Report Share Posted December 17, 2003 wtf is going on? Everyone either has or is in the process of getting a PHD. Not I... I'm still in the process of getting that goddamn bachelor's and guess what -- only to hang it on the bathroom wall... ADHD = no PhD for me. I can barely live with the material I'm supposed to know/be reading. Bleh.. Talk about wrong decisions in life -- I should've just gone to police college or something.. Meh, I suppose a bachelor's degree would do me good some day... Other than that --> And man, I think those who DO have a PhD are really ummmm how do I say this -- ummm... patient.. lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelina Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 And man, I think those who DO have a PhD are really ummmm how do I say this -- ummm... patient.. lol. Lol you cracked me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armogirl Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 HI Hasmik: I'm married to an odar and finished my masters while married. I now have a baby and am still continuing my education. So, the PHD part is doable, but tough with kids. So, go for it pre kids. Back to the part about getting married and having trouble with deciding on the church part...I'm speaking from experience, if things are tough now... they get way tougher to deal with later. I thought I wasn't a very traditional person pre marriage and baby. But now, I am yearning for my roots etc. I think if I had to do it again, I wouldn't marry an odar -- especially if there is any tension based on cultural stuff. Hope my comments help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelina Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 It is such a great feeling to see how intellegent and educated armenians are. Great job hyegurl I honestly amazed how you were able to handle education and family at the same time. Great job Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Great job hyegurl For a minute I thought... Don't say that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 I think if I had to do it again, I wouldn't marry an odar -- especially if there is any tension based on cultural stuff Ouch......... What kind of tension did/do you have? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Luckily for me, in case I do decide to do a Ph.D. (which I should decide sometime within the next year), I'm not gonna have to worry about kids for a looooooong, long time - if ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Luckily for me, in case I do decide to do a Ph.D. (which I should decide sometime within the next year), I'm not gonna have to worry about kids for a looooooong, long time - if ever. oh come on Stormik, a vibrante woman like you and dont like kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DominO123 Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 oh come on Stormik, a vibrante woman like you and dont like kids? That's the only thing I hate about her. I guess no one can be perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Don't like is an understatement. Stinkpiles... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DominO123 Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 (edited) Don't like is an understatement. Stinkpiles... Can a mod just give a warning to stormy for her comments concerning yummeee yummeee gaga googoo babies? Edited December 18, 2003 by Fadix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Domino, I've been too generous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 aw babies are adorable and even though they can “ruin” your life when you look at how happy they get when you give them some candy or a new toy or just play with them…all the pain is worth their happiness… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hasmiek Posted December 18, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 (edited) what happended armogirl? something that wouldn't have with an armenian guy? well, then to finish up the story; we wanted to comprimise to my parents last night, we would set a wedding date, but they shouldn't have to much expectations of it becoming a church wedding. We came up with the plan to have a seventies disco wedding party on a boat in the docks of rotterdam (really fascinating place!). But I would get married in a white dress( I live with my bf for a couple of years now), it is just not my style. But the no white dress thing made my mom even angrier than she allready was... Edited December 18, 2003 by hasmiek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Can a mod just give a warning to stormy for her comments concerning yummeee yummeee gaga googoo babies? No but we can give you one I personally think Stomrik is hella-cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted December 18, 2003 Report Share Posted December 18, 2003 Hasmiek, what's white supposed to signify? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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