Azat Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 Jeeeezzzz, why is there so much negativity on this board on Armenian Men. I hear we are Neanderthal, I read that we are from the 17th century, bad lovers, from Mars... Can you ladies name a nationality that does not have bad seeds? It's not like we all are from the 17th century. I feel that I am at least from the 18th century . no but all jokes aside, I think we deserve some credit. Some of us cook more often than females. Wash the dishes, go shopping, do the laundry, care for our families and satisfy our mates... I think all the guys need to form a group. Maybe we can call it "Battered Armenian Man" or BAM for short. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted January 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 no one's dissing you or the guys on this forum... just that in Armenia there are many many crazy jealous jerks who do not respect their own wives(althought they think they do)... they abuse them physically/mentally and women have nowhere to go so they stick around... and a lot of women think once you get married it's your destiny so it's not right to get divorced! i really don't understand how they can think like this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted January 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 i think i've said this before lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gurgen Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 (edited) no one's dissing you or the guys on this forum... just that in Armenia there are many many crazy jealous jerks who do not respect their own wives(althought they think they do)... they abuse them physically/mentally and women have nowhere to go so they stick around... and a lot of women think once you get married it's your destiny so it's not right to get divorced! i really don't understand how they can think like this! Well I can name a dozen more countries where it's the same thing. Armenia is not a special case or anything. I think this is part of what Sasun is trying to say. Edited January 11, 2004 by gurgen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted January 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 if they said wear a burqa and don't breathe i wouldn't be surprised at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 If you people are saying I am being negative, and about Armenian men only at that, you are wrong. This type of different behaviour toward women is something observed in that part of the world, and in many parts of the world, it ought not only be in Armenia. But that's not the point. Who gives a rat's arse about other countries, you have to want the best for yourself. What I don't buy is this "it's their culture" type of "argument" - not every couple will get to know the other well, considering the prevailing culture, and not every woman will settle for the role dictated by society and tradition, and for her to get pressure for from society or her spouse is damn WRONG - that is what is wrong! What you forget, perhaps out of convenience, is that traditionals do not always mind their business as you would preach liberals to. It is widely whispered around that Armenian women's position in society has regressed since the fall of the Soviet Union - it should mean something, should it not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 Stormig, you are talking from your subjective point of view. You think that what you as a woman don't like other women also don't like. I doubt that's the case. And culture does matter, criticizing another culture makes no sense to me. If you are liberal then be prepared to accept other cultures as they are. Otherwise you just happen to have a culture that is called "liberal" but is not liberal at all. You are right, there are so many things in the western culture that traditionalist cultures are critical of, that is also wrong. It is not any of their business to judge another culture's values. That is precisely what is happening in this forum - adherants of different cultures or sub-cultures bashing each other. When is it going to stop? Do you really think that criticizing is going to change the other person's values? Not a chance, so be content with your own right culture and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 Sasun, you keep repeating what you said and you are NOT touching on what I did. If you read my post before hitting the "reply" button, I mentioned a woman who might not take what is deemed "right" well and how she will feel herself stifled with society's pressure. In a culture where parents can't talk about sex to their children, it is likely also going to be "out of bounds" to be able to talk in detail what you want out of the marriage (pre-marriage is going to be romance and gaggly-goo, smoke-screen). Hardly the couple's fault, but society will wave fingers at the wife's "disobedience." Are you also going to tell me that I shouldn't feel dismayed at the treatment of a single-mother in an Arab country, where she will be literally cast out? What is there to defend about that? Don't have children out of wedlock if you don't want to, but don't treat those that do like they are criminals. I'm not even sure I am following up from wherever I had left off before Xmas. This is what comes to my mind after reading my own post about marital reality in that part of the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 Concluding paragraph of J. R. Russell's article "Grace from Van" (in "Journal of Armenian Studies", vol.7, 1994) From the lullaby over the cradle, the grace over the meal, the prayer upon hearth and dusk, to the lament for a Van ferryman lost at sea, a woman weaves the web of words. The Armenian woman did not have a "room of one's own" - a place of lesure and solitude, of independence and respect in which to give full flower to the creative power of a Narekats'i in his cell or eremitic cave. A young bride's mouth was bound to total silence for a year, and to another 7 years silence in company thereafter. But if, for so very long, the nation has had only half the historians, the theologians, the scientists it should have had, then we must remember that we owe to Armenian women much of its folk literature and folk religion, all the testemony to the traditional life of the Armenian plateau and its heart, Van: the frail, still living voice of the daughter of a ferryman sings a world that we must never forget. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted January 12, 2004 Report Share Posted January 12, 2004 Stormig, why do you think I didn't read your post? What part I didn't understand? (Edit: if the following quote is the only thing you meant then I thought I somewhat addressed, and am clarifying) I mentioned a woman who might not take what is deemed "right" well and how she will feel herself stifled with society's pressure. What I don't agree is that you are talking from a woman's point of view. In all cultures an individual might feel pressured, that could be a man or woman. Yet, that doesn't make the culture wrong only because the individual thinks so, obviously that's not the right culture for him/her and that's all. Culture is the choice of the majority, it's something like democratically chosen lifestyle and set of values, customs, etc. For that reason it can't be wrong for a given society. I'm not even sure I am following up from wherever I had left off before Xmas. Well, the conversation has been about Armenian men claimed to be 'overly controlling'. I am not here to defend Arab societies where women are repressed. I am talking about the Armenian culture vs Western culture. But I am sure in any given culture if half of the population (lets's say all women) were against a certain custom that custom would not survive no matter how controlling men were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted January 12, 2004 Report Share Posted January 12, 2004 When a man loses control he`s not longer a man Its OK DAVo - no need to be embarrased...just get yourself some "depends"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=VAHE=- Posted January 12, 2004 Report Share Posted January 12, 2004 Hela es Teman chi pertsel? Herik chi dzer eshnereth kushek lav eli tso. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koko Posted January 23, 2004 Report Share Posted January 23, 2004 there are diffrent people everyone. In armenia as well! There are girls there , that may not be very educated , often those girls who tend to marry men who is from a of a simliar social background. And there are girls, like in europe or USA, who are very well educated and who would say no to 50 men who want to date them (because the know better ),and because they are looking for someone with an education and the same "values" as themselves. simple as that. most of the women in armenia especially, are very well educated and knows how to speak as to say, more than the men?!! With a bit more help, the sociaty will change for the better so that publicly it will be more accepted for girls to enter higher positions in their jobs for example... And to help the development of women issues to change for the better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted January 23, 2004 Report Share Posted January 23, 2004 neither my dad nor my brother are overly controlling, i believe that it is different in each case, it all depends on the person and their predespositions, and some is also due to environmental issues.... the old nature vs. nurture issue in psychology....it may be due to genetics, or maybe they way people are raised..in a violent environment.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted January 23, 2004 Report Share Posted January 23, 2004 Angel i do agree it varies from person to person, but i agree that overall more armenian man "think" they are superior to there wives,,, not equal.. trust me if they had a completely and truthful "mutual" relationship,,, there wouldnt be alllllll these issues to argue about.. aigh aigh aigh............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarsher101 Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 I kinda agree with you on that. Most armenian guys understand this so called control as a power; however, the only reason that men should be responsible and not controling is because there has to be one final word in the household. and since the older person's word is better. It is known in the Armenian families that the husband is older than the wife and for that and only that should a guy's word be heard in the family. Not because the girl has less power or she is not the same as the guy in the society. just like a person can not serve to gods at the same time, the family can not serve two poeple at the same time. otherwise, armenian guys who think they should be the man just to show their manlyhood are full of bs. and their families usually tend to get distroyed by their own hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted August 30, 2004 Report Share Posted August 30, 2004 (edited) Here is a little story to make the term "controlling" an understatment. In one of my classes there is this girl that sit far away from me, near other girls, and guys who arent looking fo girls. Basically, her boyfriend walked her to class since the first day, and for two days sat through the clas with her. When i first walked in, i sat behind her, and few minutes passed, thye talked with whisper, then they got up and moved to her current place in class. And, i didnt really think anythign of it, until now, i realized this guy walks her to class every day, waits outside the door, constantly looking through the window, and tells her where to sit, what to say, and who she can or can not talk with.. then, to add on to his "manliness" he tells her, "go sit in such and such room of the library, in such and such floor, wait till sch and such time, and when i finish, by the time you get to such and such place, ill be ther to, dont talk to anyone, especially other guys.. etc..." me and my friend are walking behind them the whole time and cant help but laugh out loud at this rediculous and very ugly scene... i couldnt beleive it.. but WOW.. i hope this is the very extreme things get to with these kind of guys. Edited August 30, 2004 by gevo27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=VAHE=- Posted August 30, 2004 Report Share Posted August 30, 2004 (edited) Wow that's a pretty extreme situation. There's a couple of those all the time. Edited August 30, 2004 by Vahe G. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted August 30, 2004 Report Share Posted August 30, 2004 Yeah that's pretty ridiculous there gevo. I mean that borders on psychosis for the guy. How does one have so much time to spend policing his woman, and telling her exactly what to do? I mean if he truly had her controlled, he'd know that she was doing what he wished of her when he wasn't around. I've never heard of a situation this extreme in my personal Life, but I'm sure they are people out there like this, unfortunately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted August 30, 2004 Report Share Posted August 30, 2004 Yeah that's pretty ridiculous there gevo. I mean that borders on psychosis for the guy. How does one have so much time to spend policing his woman, and telling her exactly what to do? I mean if he truly had her controlled, he'd know that she was doing what he wished of her when he wasn't around. I've never heard of a situation this extreme in my personal Life, but I'm sure they are people out there like this, unfortunately. style_images/master/snapback.png Well, i think its probably worse than i know it too.. lol.. well nonetheless im gonna attempt to chat with her while in class, just to piss her guy off that is looking on from the window.. if i have the oppertunity to do that, ill let you know what happens. lol.. this situation is extremely rediculous, just as an onlooker i get the urge to beat that guy down into the earth... poor girl.. what is she getting herself into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted August 30, 2004 Report Share Posted August 30, 2004 Well, i think its probably worse than i know it too.. lol.. well nonetheless im gonna attempt to chat with her while in class, just to piss her guy off that is looking on from the window.. if i have the oppertunity to do that, ill let you know what happens. lol.. this situation is extremely rediculous, just as an onlooker i get the urge to beat that guy down into the earth... poor girl.. what is she getting herself into. style_images/master/snapback.png I don't know about you guys, but I think she's doing this to herself. She could stand up for herself, and tell him to give her space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyegirl18 Posted August 31, 2004 Report Share Posted August 31, 2004 armenian guys at first start off being sweet and little angels to impress a girl at first, once they know they own the girl they become overly controlling... i guess they think they have power over something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigil Posted August 31, 2004 Report Share Posted August 31, 2004 All Armenian girls are gold diggers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hye_Acher Posted August 31, 2004 Report Share Posted August 31, 2004 (edited) All Armenian girls are gold diggers. style_images/master/snapback.png Blah... Good Day!!! Edited August 31, 2004 by Hye_Acher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigil Posted August 31, 2004 Report Share Posted August 31, 2004 Blah... Good Day!!! style_images/master/snapback.png Well if Armenian guys are "controlling" Then we can also assume that Armenian girls are gold diggers, right? Wrong, sorry, I was tryign to make a point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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