CheekY Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 heard that one...but only it was bin laden who they shaved lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 what picture? my avatar? lol tnx... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today." "You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession," said the sheik, then he turned to the first man and asked him what he did for a living.  "I'm a cop," said the first man.  "Then we will shoot your penis off!" said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living.  "I'm a firemen," said the second man.  "Then we will burn your penis off!" said the sheik. Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"  The third man said with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 Beer Warnings Due to increasing product liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species, and/or name you can't remember) Warning : Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you. Warning : Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. -------------------------- Marketing Slogans 1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?" 2. Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea." 3. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." 4. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "Manure Stick." 5. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels, depicting the contents, since many people can't read. 6. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine. 7. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa). 8. Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese. 9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole", translating into "happiness in the mouth." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 21, 2003 Report Share Posted December 21, 2003 Do you understand Armenian Skittless? yeah why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted December 22, 2003 Report Share Posted December 22, 2003 Christmas CD banned for mentioning Jesus  FRANK O’DONNELL   THE Royal Hospital for Sick Children in Edinburgh yesterday confirmed it has banned the distribution of a charity Christmas CD because it mentions the baby Jesus.  More than 150 copies of the disc, featuring traditional and new festive songs, were donated to the hospital to help raise the spirits of children receiving care over the festive period.  But hospital managers refused to pass it on, saying it could offend those who were not of a Christian faith.  "We could not just hand out the CD," a hospital spokeswoman said. "If it went to every child it could cause offence to those who are not Christian."  The ban is being seen as the latest attempt to de-Christianise Christmas and was yesterday condemned by Bashir Maan, a prominent Muslim leader.  "If somebody doesn’t want to listen to this, they don’t have to. This is political correctness gone mad," he said. "It is going too far and it is going to be counterproductive.  "This is Christmas time and the overwhelming majority of the people in this country are Christians. If people want to celebrate then they should have the right, as should minority groups. But if the freedom is only one-sided, then the majority will be offended."  Last month, the Scottish Parliament banned traditional Christmas cards, fearing they might be offensive to other religions. Officials ruled that the words "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" must not appear on cards sent out by MSPs or staff, saying that the wording is not "socially inclusive".  Jane Butters, 57, from Edinburgh, recorded the CD - which features songs such as Jump Up Santa! - to raise money for Marie Curie Cancer Care.  She said: "To think that something as innocent as a Christmas CD could be considered offensive - I just can’t believe it. Ironically. they said it would be OK to hand out these CDs at their carol concert on Monday."  A hospital spokeswoman said: "We couldn’t just hand out this CD to everyone but if people chose to go to a carol service, they could pick one up there."   http://www.thescotsman.co.uk/paperboy.cfm?id=1400702003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyRoss Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 (edited) Why Turkish have coffee and Arabic petrol ? Because Turkish chose in first ! Edited April 5, 2004 by MartyRoss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Welcome to HyeForum MartyRoss!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted December 28, 2003 Report Share Posted December 28, 2003 This .gif image takes a while to load, so I'll provide it as link, but it's HILARIOUS, I burst out loud laughing. Â http://users.stargate.net/~stosh/dumbestkid.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyRoss Posted December 29, 2003 Report Share Posted December 29, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyRoss Posted January 12, 2004 Report Share Posted January 12, 2004 The professor to his student : - What is the name of your father ? - Panos - And what is the name of your mother ? - Sonik - And what's your name ? - Panasonik ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyRoss Posted January 16, 2004 Report Share Posted January 16, 2004 I'm doing a garage sale, I want to get rid of some of my cars, who is interested ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted January 16, 2004 Report Share Posted January 16, 2004 ill take the red car! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted January 19, 2004 Report Share Posted January 19, 2004 (edited) I'll take the silver car then... Edited January 19, 2004 by ExtraHye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted January 19, 2004 Report Share Posted January 19, 2004 (edited) ill take the red car!   Here we go!  Krikor and Garabed were jobless somewhere in West Germany. In order to survive they decided to offer their survices for gardening in their neighbourhood. One day it was Garabed's turn to go and seek for job. He took the shovel went on the street and after 10 minutes a brand new white Benz stoped by and a very attractive blond young lady asked him if he is looking for a job and weather he agrees to work in her garden. Garabed agreed and they went to her mansion in the suburbes of the city. After few hours Garabed came back with a brand new white Benz. Krikor was shoked.  What happened? - he asked. Well, when we got there the lady opened the trunk, took out a blanket spread it on the ground. Then she started slowly taking off her clothes, then she laid over the blanket and said: Honey, take the most valuable thing from me.... So,.... what happened next?  Well, I took the Benz of course not the blanket. Do you think I'm that stupid! Edited January 19, 2004 by gamavor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armat Posted January 20, 2004 Report Share Posted January 20, 2004 Mi hat 90 tarekan bidza mart mi hat 19 tarekan oriorti asuma: " H@ axchik jan mi hat ktas portsem kez". Es jahel axchikn el amotank a talis aselov: " Ches amachum yeka esh es". Bidzen el te: " Ko hamar em asum axchik jan yes esor kam vagh@ chkam" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 TENDJEWBERRYMUD You will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...... The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.....  Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"  Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"  RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"  G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"  RS: "Ow July den?"  G: "What??"  RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"  G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."  RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"  G: "Crisp will be fine."  RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"  G: "What?"  RS: "San tos. July San tos?"  G: "I don't think so"  RS: "No? Judo one toes??"  G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes 'means."  RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"  G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."  RS: "We bother?"  G: "No, just put the bother on the side."  RS: "Wad?"  G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."  RS: "Copy?"  G: "Sorry?"  RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"  G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."  RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy, singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"  G: "Whatever you say"  RS: "Tendjewberrymud"  G: "You're welcome" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 LMAO this is the funniest thing i've read...had to read twice to get all the words lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gurgen Posted February 2, 2004 Report Share Posted February 2, 2004 (edited) Two Armenian women meet in Paris and kiss each other on the cheek. A French woman walks up to them and says 'Ahhhhh, lesbian'. One of the Armenian women says: 'No, I'm Sarkisian and she is Grigorian'. Edited February 2, 2004 by gurgen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 The President''s Puzzle  Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. "What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.  "Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.  "How long did it take you?"  "Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 One hungry Bush... Â One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?" The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women's rights and storms away. Â Cheney then says to Bush, "George, its pronounced 'quiche'." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 Here is something for those who love W. Bush very much http://www.bushflash.com/idiot.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 Two pilots in flight First Pilot: "Devices"! Second Pilot: "Thirty"! FP: "What thirty"?! SP: "What devices"?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted February 3, 2004 Report Share Posted February 3, 2004 Cheney then says to Bush, "George, its pronounced 'quiche'." Good one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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