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New Jokes Anyone?


hyebruin

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  • 2 weeks later...

An armenian woman removed her jeans & threw at her boyfriend & said, "MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN"

The armenian boy removed his jeans, threw at her & said,"WASH BOTH JEANS".

Edited by Eloren
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Armenian Guy: I had a horrible nightmare last night

Friend: What was it about?

Armenian Guy: My wife an Claudia Schiffer and few other super models were fighting over me

Friend: Wow that sounds like a great dream and not a nightmare

Armenian Guy: no... my wife won at the end.

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An armenian woman removed her jeans & threw at her boyfriend & said, "MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN"

The armenian boy removed his jeans, threw at her & said,"WASH BOTH JEANS".

:lol2: that is soooo true. :D Here is another one.

 

Loyalty in Marriage

 

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several

months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he

motioned for her to come nearer.

 

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?

You have been with me all through the bad times.

 

When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business

failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we

lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing,

you were still by my side...You know what?"

 

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with

warmth.

 

"I think you're bad luck, get the f**k away from me."

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  • 3 weeks later...
A panda walked into a bar and ordered a bowl of chili. After eating it, he pulled out a gun and shot the bartender, then he walked out. "Hey, you can't do that!" a customer called after him. "Yes I can, look me up in the encyclopedia!" the panda said as he left. The customer got out his pocket encyclopedia which he brought just so that this joke would make sense, and flipped through the "P's" until he came to Panda: Eats shoots and leaves.
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99 blondes and a brunette were all holding onto rope off the edge of a cliff. They realized that one of them must let go of the rope and fall to their death, because the rope wasn't strong enough to hold all of them. The brunette gave a long and touching speech about how she would be the one to let go of the rope, and all the blondes clapped.
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DUDE Domino! You're WHACKED if you think God is above porn. Just do a search on google ...

 

Porn - 58,000,000 links

God - 44,500,000 links

Religion - 17,400,000 links

Sip - 2,050 links!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: B)

 

Edit: Wow ... Sex 140,000,000 links

 

You might want to research that...

 

religion - 226,000,000

sex - 191,000,000

God - 172,000,000

porn - 29,600,000

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Warning: (especially for Juggs)

 

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs, to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

 

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer" to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, in cans, from taps, and in large "kegs."

 

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific-looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

 

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life savings, in a familiar scam known as "A Relationship." It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "Marriage." Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

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