Armat Posted November 25, 2004 Report Share Posted November 25, 2004 Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner. I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup. Edo that Very funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted November 25, 2004 Report Share Posted November 25, 2004 isk azerineri "Internet Explorer " search poxarren gites inch uni grats ? QUJUJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted November 25, 2004 Report Share Posted November 25, 2004 inch tarberutyun TetevaBaro knoj* yev Titakin Navi* mijev ? *prostitute style_images/master/snapback.png we know how many people went down on Titanic (hayerenov chi statsvum) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted November 25, 2004 Report Share Posted November 25, 2004 we know how many people went down on Titanic (hayerenov chi statsvum) style_images/master/snapback.png statsvuam menak te people poxi - Man we know how many man went down on Titanic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted December 1, 2004 Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 Joke-moke Anecdote-manecdote. Qaj Nazar had bought a new house. He calls Ambakum Khikarians moving company. The movers estimate $1000.00 One thousand dollars?!! Nazar excliams. Sure! Look at it. Ator-mator, seghan-meghan, ankogin-mankoghin and so on. Finally our Qaj says; Look barekam-marekam. I'll pay you $500.00. You move the ator, I'll move the mator.... I told the above story and someone told the following. Qaj Nazar took his family out to dinner. (It must have been right after they moved into their new tun-mun.) The bill came and our friend thought it was excessive. The waiter read the bill aloud. Khorovats-morovats, pilav-milav, aghtsan-maghtsan, anush-manush.... Nazar looked the bill over and exclaimed; Aha!!! But you listed matsun twice!! What genius that Qaj Nazar!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 7, 2004 Report Share Posted December 7, 2004 This is looong but worth the read. An interesting perspective on the American culture from Brits point of view. MEMORANDUM Home Office Direct Communications Unit 7th Floor 50 Queen Anne's Gate London SW1H 9AT TO: The Citizens of the United States of America RE: Revocation of your Independence In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often. 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize". 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents? Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly? or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs. My favorite part. 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "$hit". You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day". My other favorite part. 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French; they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers. 11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself. 12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion. 13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it). 14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. 15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. 16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation. Rt Hon David Blunkett Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 Little Billy asks his dad: "Daddy, how was I born?" DAD SAYS: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said: 'You've Got Male!' " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 Damn that reminds me that I gotta update my firewall Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 8, 2004 Report Share Posted December 8, 2004 how does one clean Pepsi off the LCD monitor as I "was" drinking Pepsi when I read Sips response. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Little Billy asks his dad: "Daddy, how was I born?" DAD SAYS: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said: 'You've Got Male!' " style_images/master/snapback.png IF ONE MORE PERSON SENDS THIS JOKE TO ME I AM GOING POSTAL! jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 dude, you dont like it dont read it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 (edited) dude, you dont like it dont read it. style_images/master/snapback.png DUDEEEEEEEEEEEE they send emails with this joke typed out ... I'm not a psychic,I dont' know these Canadians keep on recycling the same ol' joke over and over and over...and they think it's the first time us here in America have read it! oh and btw..you use too many smilies! Edited December 9, 2004 by Maral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Azat jan, this is especially for you Remember this? Jujalarim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Azat jan, this is especially for you Remember this? Jujalarim style_images/master/snapback.png I can't open it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 Azat jan, this is especially for you Remember this? Jujalarim style_images/master/snapback.png Hahaha, is this not episode 5 when he runs into the chicken barn? Thanks Armen jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 Hahaha, is this not episode 5 when he runs into the chicken barn? Thanks Armen jan style_images/master/snapback.png yes the prid of azerbajan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 Hahaha, is this not episode 5 when he runs into the chicken barn? Thanks Armen jan style_images/master/snapback.png Yeah, it cracks me up Actually, the directors of cartoon had a big laugh on Azeries. It's even kinda racist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 (edited) for those of you who are interested in having a memorable picture you can do the following http://www.interpol.int/Viewer/viewphoto.a...nd%20Dangereous http://www.interpol.int/Viewer/viewphoto.asp?ImageName=[put here URL]&Text=[here text] Edited December 10, 2004 by Azat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 Azat jan, this is especially for you Remember this? Jujalarim style_images/master/snapback.png Armen, what is it about? What does jujalarim mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 Sasun jan it is a song from NuPodogi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 Sasun jan it is a song from NuPodogi style_images/master/snapback.png I know Azat jan, but that song must be about something else? Or is it about chickens? Written for Nupogodi? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 have no clue. sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 Armen, what is it about? What does jujalarim mean? style_images/master/snapback.png As far as she sings about chicken. "Juja" is like "Jutik" in Armenian "Jujalar" is "Jutikner" ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 As far as she sings about chicken. "Juja" is like "Jutik" in Armenian "Jujalar" is "Jutikner" ... style_images/master/snapback.png It is a good song, I like it Seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted December 19, 2004 Report Share Posted December 19, 2004 Answering Machine God's voice mail Most of us have now learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of our daily lives. But have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following: Thank you for calling Heaven. * For Hebrew press 1 * For Yiddish press 2 * For all other languages Press 0 Please select from one of the following options: * Press 1 for Requests. * Press 2 for Giving thanks. * Press 3 for Complaints. * Press 4 for all other inquires. I'm sorry; all angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us, we will answer it in the order in which it was received. Please stay on the line. * If you require special attention and would like to speak to God, press 1 * If you would like to hear King David sing a psalm while you are waiting, press 4 * To find a loved one who has been assigned to heaven, press 5 then enter her social security number followed by the pound sign. If you receive a negative response, hang up and try area code 666. * For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive there. Our computers show that you have already prayed today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 a.m. If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local rabbi. Thank you, and have a heavenly day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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