THOTH Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Stop it, I'm blushing, you are not so bad yourself. Plus some good emphasis on individuality from a married person which I hold in high esteem. THOTH do you ever feel like you are suffocating? And if you don't how did you learn to master that feeling, or what is the reason why you don't? Suffocating? Do you meanin this forum? LOL ...or in my marraige? Well yes - sometimes - but ussually not as we communicate very well and give each other a great deal of latitude and are very supportive of each other - in what ever we do -in general. I maintian a great many of my hobby interests and contacts with friends while at the same time I am a full partner at home - with the houshold and children and everything. I alos am very open to my wife doing her own thing. But yes, especially with children - and as great as they are - and they are - indescribably so if you don't have any - to explain the total pride and joy etc..but yeah you lose your spontineity a good deal - and you are responsible - there is just no getting away from it...and sometimes it is maddening certainly..but my boys are very cool - and we are buds - and I bring them along when i interact with my buds and I can and do do things with them / involve them that certainly lessens any sense of soffocation (and we do things and trvel as a family - we don't get so tied down etc..and have been doinfg so since my eldest was 3 months old and we took him to Hawaii with us!) ....now I do hope this was what you were refering to...LOL ...or were you somehow refering to face sitting or living with pollution or some such? Don't know (but I can hold my breath very well! LOL) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 oh anileve jan, i totally agree... im one of those types of people that loves to spend alone time...i have to have my alone time everyday...before i go to sleep...its a must that i sit down, think, do something that i enjoy whether it be reading a book, taking a bubble bath...whatever it is or recollecting and thinking about the events of the whole day...of course soltitude is a wonderful thing.... i also agree with what you said about going out and having fun with friends and just chillin.... im just saying that in addition to learning about oneself through soltitude, you also learn about yurself when in a relationship...now both cannot be taken to extremes, where one becomes too self-assured and only self -reliant, or the other wway around, when one becomes too attached to another person, which breeds vulnerability...so t here must be limitations to everytihng and excess of anything is bad... Agreed! more and more I am starting to believe that you are living up to the title of Devilian Jr. assigned to you by Sr. Now we need to work on roughing you up and you are a full blown femme fatale. BTW: Love the bubble baths oh soo much with a cigarette, candles and elvis with with magical hips swaying when I close my eyes. Bruin jan, Love "The sexy goddess" comment ha ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Gevo, only this line --- Gevo jan, I have to say that you are clueless. You are too young not to be clueless. --- was for you and it was a joke as indicated by the at the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Gevo, only this line --- Gevo jan, I have to say that you are clueless. You are too young not to be clueless. --- was for you and it was a joke as indicated by the at the end. LOL, ok azat jan, i took the as your smiling at your own comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anoushik Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Hmm... a very interesting thread. First of all, Slowjam, I'm sorry you're hurt. Second, I completely agree with Sip in this thread. What I don't understand is how little pride 20 year old girls (yes, girls) have in themselves and how they totally act like victims. Gevo, when you blame the guys for taking advantages and using their girlfriends I'm not upset with the guys, but rather the girls, for they allow the guys to take advantage of them. In a way the girls deserve what they get. Slowjam, screw the idiot, he's not worth it! Have some pride in yourself. Not in a million years will I ever allow a guy to "dump me" and then tell me that he's got work to do. Also, I think the age difference is also important in this case. Most people think six years difference is not a big deal. Yes it's not if you're in your 30's, 40's, 50's, etc. but when you're 20 you're just starting to get a sense of the world around you and your place in the world, while a 26-year already has some ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 :lol2: Looks like Sip was standing in line at a buffet counter when they were giving out sensitivity. this has got to be the best quote i have ever read!! extra! i like your way with words!! hahahhaha HA!! now, i'm all for girls taking responsibility and not being stupid when it comes to guys--i know i said this before somewhere here--but a little crash course on sensititvity and compassion designed for guys is not a bad idea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axel Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 I don't think this is a male/female issue. The problem is rather with infantilism and immaturity which is endemic to the neo-western world. Women are not any more sensitive or compassionate than men are. This is a cliché. They simply have a greater tendency to exteriorize their emotions. Profound (as opposed to superficial) emotions usually keep silent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Also, I think the age difference is also important in this case. Most people think six years difference is not a big deal. Yes it's not if you're in your 30's, 40's, 50's, etc. but when you're 20 you're just starting to get a sense of the world around you and your place in the world, while a 26-year already has some ideas. This is a very good point. But regardless of all of the various good points folks have made on this thread and legitimate perspectives etc - IMO - most are missing the point. The point is IMO - that this poor gal is hurting right now...so its great to philosophize - but i think what she needs are soem good sugestions for the now - such as Anileve made! The rest is all somethign to consider at a later date when the hurt has lessened...Anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 I look around our "Armenian" communities and you have young girls and guys who grow up with mommy and daddy and jump into serious ass relationships and then get married just to be able to move out and become their own people ... but they NEVER have the chance to discover their individuality. And that is just very sad. From the outside looking in I have thought this countless times. Well said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiner Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 gevo dude ... chill out a bit. Not everyone wants to get married by 26 and have pooping farting barf machines running around the house while he goes to work 9 to 5, comes back home and start cooking or go shopping and do the laundry and then watch some TV and go to sleep totally exhausted by 10pm to wake up at the crack of dawn the next day for the whole thing to repeat. I am 27 and haven't even really began serious dating or even thinking about serious relationships yet. Everyone is different ... Thoth may tell you girls are the next best thing for men since "grated cheese that comes in a bag". I am not so sure .... girls and relationships are great ... but so is youthfulness and freedom and having the time to be able to really establish yourself as a person in life. I am just slowly starting to discover who I am ... what my position is in life and where I want to go. I think at least a few years of being totally on one's own is mandatory (in my case) to go through this self discovery process. I look around our "Armenian" communities and you have young girls and guys who grow up with mommy and daddy and jump into serious ass relationships and then get married just to be able to move out and become their own people ... but they NEVER have the chance to discover their individuality. And that is just very sad. Yeah Sip, VERY well said. Many not only get married as a means of moving out, but they also feel it's their only choice, and for some reason their parents act as if their whole lives depend on it. Also there is a natural tendency to marry who your parents would feel happy with in these cases. And if you think Armenians are bad regarding this, you should see Indians. It is better to live on your own for a while to find yourself because this society is much more complex and different than the societies our parents grew up in, and their philosophies and ideas don't always apply. As a matter of fact they are mostly outdated and becoming your own entity compared to your parents is crucial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 ...or in my marraige? Well yes - sometimes - but ussually not as we communicate very well and give each other a great deal of latitude Shouldn't that be "longitude" - since you took "latitude" to the limits when there was an ocean longitudinally between the two of you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Hmm... a very interesting thread. First of all, Slowjam, I'm sorry you're hurt. Second, I completely agree with Sip in this thread. What I don't understand is how little pride 20 year old girls (yes, girls) have in themselves and how they totally act like victims. Gevo, when you blame the guys for taking advantages and using their girlfriends I'm not upset with the guys, but rather the girls, for they allow the guys to take advantage of them. In a way the girls deserve what they get. Slowjam, screw the idiot, he's not worth it! Have some pride in yourself. Not in a million years will I ever allow a guy to "dump me" and then tell me that he's got work to do. Also, I think the age difference is also important in this case. Most people think six years difference is not a big deal. Yes it's not if you're in your 30's, 40's, 50's, etc. but when you're 20 you're just starting to get a sense of the world around you and your place in the world, while a 26-year already has some ideas. Anoushik i agre with you also, but i havent stated anything saying how the girl should or shouldnt be in the first place. I am talking about in general when guys do such things, and all my prevu\ious posts point to guys who go into a relationship with an honest girl, and they know even before they enter the relationship that "this is for fun, and he will dump her soon" .. So yeah ofcourse the girl has her own issues in this case, but i wasnt geting into that. My point is against those guys who are like iv stated a 100 times allready Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 12, 2004 Report Share Posted February 12, 2004 Yeah Sip, VERY well said. Many not only get married as a means of moving out, but they also feel it's their only choice, and for some reason their parents act as if their whole lives depend on it. Also there is a natural tendency to marry who your parents would feel happy with in these cases. And if you think Armenians are bad regarding this, you should see Indians. It is better to live on your own for a while to find yourself because this society is much more complex and different than the societies our parents grew up in, and their philosophies and ideas don't always apply. As a matter of fact they are mostly outdated and becoming your own entity compared to your parents is crucial. This has nothing to do with any of my arguements I dont see how or why, but you guys arent getting my point! please read what i refer to, and what im arguing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 Shouldn't that be "longitude" - since you took "latitude" to the limits when there was an ocean longitudinally between the two of you? LOL good one Steve..I must admit... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 Dear Slowjam, in my professional career I have encountered many situations similar to yours and well, for a first timer in love, it is indeed painful, but remember, for everything that happens we should walk out of it with some new knowledge gained. How you react is important. Thus I will answer your post, point by point. why do they break our hearts? Same reason many women play with guys' hearts, it's the way it goes. Cruel people are all among us, but you should have your shovel ready to react positively when you are struck by the cruel persons wand. why cant they just be real with us? Well some men are assholes, but then again some women are too! It goes both ways, since well, there will be people that will hurt you for their self seeking ends anywhere. why is it this game that armenian guys play when they date u, that they want us to play hard to get??? Not every guy plays a 'game' just like not every girl plays a 'game'. Alot of guys play a 'game' just like every girl plays a 'game', it comes with your sex. To say that it is only Armenian guys is a big generalization. All guys in this day and age especially in the commercial culture of America premised on money fame and the music of pimpin and partyin will only breed that sort of thinking. LA is fettered with these type of guys whether its Armenian, Asian, or Latin, or Black or whatever. has anyone in here been hurt? Yes and I got up and spit on hurt. well i am hurt now b/c my b/f dumped me why because he thinks his not ready for a relationship... Apologies for being blunt, but when guys say that, it is a way of concealing something meaning they don't wanna tell you flat out they don't wanna be with you for whatever reason, so they play the "I don't want a relationship card". I've used that myself sadly, it's like a guy's "Get out of jail free" card. well i think he was lying he probably dumped me because he was not interested in me anymore.. Whatever he lied about, you shouldn't ever be with him again. Instead try to select men from perhaps a more mature level? Maybe some who read or are actually capable of thinking beyond 'pimpin' terms? all i did the whole day was cry cry cry and now i dont know what to do ................................ Get up and go to the gym. Go out with your friends. Read. Go to a museum or something. Or go egg his car. im in painnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Time heals. Dr. Mouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 Dear Dr. Mouse, Would it be too much if i asked you to help me with my relationship problems too.. How do you fall in love with a non armenian, and get out of it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 Dear Dr. Mouse, Would it be too much if i asked you to help me with my relationship problems too.. How do you fall in love with a non armenian, and get out of it? How do you fall in love with a non armenian, and get out of it? Well, this is easy - you don't. Once you fall in love, that's it. If you love the person well, I don't know if you're down to hurt them. This isn't to say "dont date odars". It is a matter of volition. I've dated non-Armenians, but it was strictly casual. The moment there was mushy talk and the L word I started gettin paranoid and scared em away by turning myself into a Superhero. Hope this helps. Dr. Mouse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 gevo i thought i helped you enough with this...aye aye aye ure seriously in LOVE with her eh...just ask yourself those questions i told u 2 ask urself about....does she love u back the same way you love her? is she willing to give up and sacrifice as much as you are...love is a weird and funny thing you know...but yet again dont confuse love and lust for they are two totally different things...well you might say--who is angel to say this, shes never been in love...blah blah blah...i know i havent...but ive learned alotta things about it and that love is a very powerful thing and that there's more to it than you think.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 Love is blind, and involves emotions, where we lose reason and thinking, thus it might lead us to ends we don't imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 Love is blind, and involves emotions, where we lose reason and thinking, thus it might lead us to ends we don't imagine. aw mouse..seerteet varvats aa? lol aww has someone broken ur heart too...we need some crazy glue up in here...glue these pieces back together..j/k hope i didnt hurt anyones feelings lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 gevo i thought i helped you enough with this...aye aye aye ure seriously in LOVE with her eh...just ask yourself those questions i told u 2 ask urself about....does she love u back the same way you love her? is she willing to give up and sacrifice as much as you are...love is a weird and funny thing you know...but yet again dont confuse love and lust for they are two totally different things...well you might say--who is angel to say this, shes never been in love...blah blah blah...i know i havent...but ive learned alotta things about it and that love is a very powerful thing and that there's more to it than you think.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 well gevo jan seems like uve yet again done a great job at confusing yourself and this time me too....hahahah weirdo..! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMMA K Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 Gevo, I don't see why you shouldn't fall in love with a non-armenian girl. If she loves you back why do you both have to suffer (that's by keeping each other apart), just because you are probably scared of the judgement of Armenian comunity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 just because you are probably scared of the judgement of Armenian comunity? I assume you do know that judgement is no walk in the park Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 aw mouse..seerteet varvats aa? lol aww has someone broken ur heart too...we need some crazy glue up in here...glue these pieces back together..j/k hope i didnt hurt anyones feelings lol No not really, I haven't been in "love" in ages and no my heart was never broken, since I've never been in a committed relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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