Arpa Posted April 2, 2007 Report Share Posted April 2, 2007 (edited) Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks that all those who do not know JAVA programming language to rise and leave. 2000 people rise and leave the room. ==== Harout says to himself: "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose if I stay?" So he stays. Calmly , Harout turns to the other candidate and says to him in Armenia: "Parev pezevenk, endores ?"... The other candidate answers: "Lav em aper, du vonc es?." I have been waiting so long to say this. JAVA? Is that a Sumatran dialect? Edited April 2, 2007 by Arpa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zartonk Posted April 2, 2007 Report Share Posted April 2, 2007 Psssshhhh...What are you talking about Arpa?! Indonesian?! Java OBVIOUSLY hails from our own third Armenia, JAVAkhq. Common, I was expecting more from you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted April 2, 2007 Report Share Posted April 2, 2007 Psssshhhh...What are you talking about Arpa?! Indonesian?! Java OBVIOUSLY hails from our own third Armenia, JAVAkhq. Common, I was expecting more from you... Apres Zartonk! You get qarsun JAVA-khetsi geghetskuhiner for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the bible and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not eq u ipped for these kinds of contests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Em Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 Mommy is PRICELESS! Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed" She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer , ironed a shirt and secured a loose button She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails. Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed." "I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's , hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." And he did.... Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...? 'CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL..... (and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted April 22, 2007 Report Share Posted April 22, 2007 The Dentist.... A guy and a girl, Ted and Melissa, meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make lo ve. After they are done, the girl says, "You must be a GOOD dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?" "Didn't feel a thing!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted April 23, 2007 Report Share Posted April 23, 2007 This is an old joke but its worth repeating... This young Armenian lady goes to get a tattoo and asks the tattoo artist to give her a picture of Paul Baghdadian on her inner thigh. After he is done she looks at it and says "Noooo that is nothing like Paul" The tattoo master offers to correct his "mistake" by doing the other thigh with Paul as well and this time he is extra careful to make sure it looks exactly like the portrait that she had brought in. When done she again says that the tattoo looks like nothing like Paul Shocjed he says "Lsi qurs ari gnank durs meking gtnen hartsnens, yeta asen vor Paulin nman chi yes kvjaren hanelu pogh@" They go out and find an old man who stares at the right thigh then the left, then the right and back and forth. He then says "I dont know who those two are but the one in the middle is exactly like Harut Pambukchian" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted April 23, 2007 Report Share Posted April 23, 2007 Jana !!! Azat Axpors Qef@ lava // JAn em asel Azat JAn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted April 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2007 I remember that one from High School! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosank Posted April 27, 2007 Report Share Posted April 27, 2007 ամոթ լոլլլլ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted April 29, 2007 Report Share Posted April 29, 2007 I remember that one from High School! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted May 7, 2007 Report Share Posted May 7, 2007 The mystery is finally solved. How does the small arrow on your computer monitor work when we move the mouse? Haven't you ever wondered how it works? With the aid of a mighty screen magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent. Click on the link below and you will find out. When it appears, slowly move your mouse over the light gray circle and you will see how the magic works. http://www.1-click.jp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted May 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2007 The mystery is finally solved. How does the small arrow on your computer monitor work when we move the mouse? Haven't you ever wondered how it works? With the aid of a mighty screen magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent. Click on the link below and you will find out. When it appears, slowly move your mouse over the light gray circle and you will see how the magic works. http://www.1-click.jp hehe cute Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted May 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 7, 2007 An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,"You try again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted May 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2007 (edited) FIFTY DOLLARS IS FIFTY DOLLARS Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter". Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars". One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance." Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars". The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars." Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!" Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know -- 50 dollars is 50 dollars." Edited May 15, 2007 by Maral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Error 404 Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly.... him in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold. " "I have a better idea," she replied." Just for tonight, let's just pretend that we're married. " "Wow! That's a great idea! " he exclaimed! "Good, " she replied... "Get your own f*#king blanket." After a stunned moment of silence, he farted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zartonk Posted May 17, 2007 Report Share Posted May 17, 2007 HAHAHA! Brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted May 18, 2007 Report Share Posted May 18, 2007 a convict brakes away from prison and enters a house where wife and husband are in a bed naked the convict ties both to chair goes bites the neck of the wife and enters the bathroom husbend says dear, this is a violant criminal and broke away from prison, when he comes back let him do what ever he wants, dont resist he probbly hasent seen a women for a long time or he'll kill us both. Remember I will always love you and be strong, lets get over with this and lets get on with our life wife says honey he dident bite my neck, just whispered in my ear that your very cute and asked where do you keep your Vaseline, you to always remember this honey, I love you to and you to be strong for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALMA Posted May 18, 2007 Report Share Posted May 18, 2007 Two turks are kissing each other and having a conversation. _1. Do you love me? -2. Yes, I do -1. I love you too -1. Do you enjoy being with me? -2. Yes, I do -1. I do too -1 Would you want to marry me? -2. Yes, I would. -1. I would too -1. What is Your name? -2. Ali -1. So is mine!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anaitka Posted May 18, 2007 Report Share Posted May 18, 2007 Two Armenian brothers have come to live in the United States & one day they are on the freeway with 2 seperate cars. The cop stops one of the brothers and says: "Do you know how fast you were going... license & registratin please."? The brother says: "I was going 101." Before he gives his license he says wait let me call my brother because he is going 405. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted May 18, 2007 Report Share Posted May 18, 2007 Anitka jan that joke is older then I dear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted May 18, 2007 Report Share Posted May 18, 2007 Anitka jan that joke is older then I dear It can't be that old then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted May 18, 2007 Report Share Posted May 18, 2007 It can't be that old then de ha jishtes vor gisherner@ chhasvets ayo, hamadzaynem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted May 18, 2007 Report Share Posted May 18, 2007 Two Armenian brothers have come to live in the United States & one day they are on the freeway with 2 seperate cars. The cop stops one of the brothers and says: "Do you know how fast you were going... license & registratin please."? The brother says: "I was going 101." Before he gives his license he says wait let me call my brother because he is going 405. it never gets old see http://www.hayasapictures.com/ Art and media #14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anaitka Posted May 18, 2007 Report Share Posted May 18, 2007 Anitka jan that joke is older then I dear Ed jan, I wouldn't know if you hadn't told me, would I? Besides I just wanted to remind you of the days when you were young and up to any kind of mischief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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