Maral Posted February 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Scientists have finally discovered what's wrong with the male brain. On the left side, there is nothing right. and On the right side, there is nothing left ! ! ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 Scientists have finally discovered what's wrong with the male brain. On the left side, there is nothing right. and On the right side, there is nothing left ! ! ! Isn't that how it's supposed to be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 And in the middle of their brain all they think is about s.....x! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted February 1, 2007 Report Share Posted February 1, 2007 And in the middle of their brain all they think is about s.....x! Anahid you are totally wrong, when it comes to sex men never think with their brains. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted February 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 Isn't that how it's supposed to be? ya,that's just the way we like ya all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted February 2, 2007 Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 ya,that's just the way we like ya all I meant scientifically Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted February 2, 2007 Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 ya,that's just the way we like ya all Maral, what's this with your avatar? Honest, I thought that suddenly there was a bug on my computer screen. You're silly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted February 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 it's an ant,I did it to annoy Yervant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted February 3, 2007 Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 it's an ant,I did it to annoy Yervant I'll confess the only thing that will annoy me is snakes, I hate them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted February 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2007 (mental note made about snakes) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted February 14, 2007 Report Share Posted February 14, 2007 I just had a dream about it A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted February 14, 2007 Report Share Posted February 14, 2007 I'm sending out some cards A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted February 14, 2007 Report Share Posted February 14, 2007 Dictionary for women Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician." Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon. Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..." Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...! Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide. Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers." Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it. Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Long Long time ago when we had a zoravar named Khoja Mamigonian parsikner@ hartsakvumen mer vra. Kjojai zinvorner@ galisen asumen, zoravar parsikner@ galisen mer vra khoja zoravar.......qani hoqi en? 1000 karmir shapiks bereq inchu karmir? khoja zoravar asuma, vor viravorvem aryuns chereva myus or@ Khojai zonvorner@ galisen asumen Khoja zoravar parsikner@ eli hartsakvumen! qani hoqi en es anqam? 100000 hmmmmm khoja asuma, karmir shapiks bereq u srjaguyn shalvars eh zinvorner asumen, srjaguyn shalvar@ inchi hamar eh Khoja? apushner srjaguyn shalvar@ vor taks -em chereva Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Long Long time ago ======? 100000 hmmmmm khoja asuma, karmir shapiks bereq u srjaguyn shalvars eh zinvorner asumen, srjaguyn shalvar@ inchi hamar eh Khoja? apushner srjaguyn shalvar@ vor taks -em chereva Apres Yetvart (as some stambolahays would pronounce it). :clap: :goof: Du Aparantsi es te Gavaretsi? I have a change of heart . I nominate Eddo for king. King of comedy, that is. You are nominated for an Oscar for the best comedy. It is absolutely delicious! I had to change to my brown shalvar too so people would not notice me ing in my pants laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted February 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Edward! You've done well...you have been promoted to King! niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Yervant de gna king Edward, hmmmm Nice Keri King, vat chi lseq Ok since Arpa's blood pressure is regulated I will tell another one so there was this kid Vartanik, Es Vartaniknel anchap shat hayhoyuma, um tesnume, vortex tesnume, vonts ases hayhoyume, mi xoskov... orerits mi or Vartaniki Tsnokhner@ gnumen Khojaikents tun huyr, es khojayiknel QIT chi unenum Vartaniknel uzume mi ban asel bayts zspume iren mekel sksume Vartanik@ es erexun dzuk tveq uti es erexun dzuk tveq uti es erexun.........de parza u edpes sharunak asume Vartanik@ khojaikin nayelov Vartaniki Papan te, Vartanik axr inchu hents dzuk uti? uti vor qit@ yerkari khojaiki inchu? ba vor metsana aknotsner@ pshatenus vra e dnelu? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Yervant de gna Is this a declaration of war? Or is it a coup? You have 24 hours to decline that crown, or else. Prince Patrick where are you? gather all the army generals. Zartonk get all the propaganda machines ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted February 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 19, 2007 An Alberta cowboy was overseeing his animals in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC-connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a member of parliament for the Canadian Government", says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a flock of sheep. Now give me back my dog." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted February 20, 2007 Report Share Posted February 20, 2007 An Alberta cowboy Canadian ey!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ani Posted March 5, 2007 Report Share Posted March 5, 2007 This is sooo funny...It reminded me of our neighbour in Armenia...She was an old lady past 20 years (no one knows her age)...She used to (i heard still does) clock in and out our neigbours..She knew all the problems in thier homes...And had answer on every question... Here it goes... The Old Poodle A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful , aged poodle named Cuddles along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that dang monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!" Moral of this story.. Don't mess with old farts..Age and treachery may overcome youth and skills! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted March 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2007 Mexican Computer Virus BUENOS DIAS Mouchacho!!! JOU HAFF YUST RECEIBED A MEHICAN BYRUS. SIN WE NO HABE SO GOOD TECHNIOLOGICALLY ADBANCE IN MEHICO, DEES IS A MANUAL BYRUS. PLEESE DELETE ALL JOUR FILES ON JOUR HARD-DRIVE JOURSELF AND SEND DEES E-MAIL TO EBERYONE JOU KNOW. TANK JOU FOR HALPING ME. JULIO MANUEL JOSE FELIPE PABLO JAIME HECTOR RODRIGUEZ GARCIA SALAZAR GONZALES ---MEXICAN HACKER Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted March 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2007 A Man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here? " He is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the American hell, as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Egyptian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Egyptian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?" The answer goes: "Because maintenance is so bad, the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Government servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to have his daily beloved...Chaiiiiii...and....Cheecha" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted March 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2007 (edited) You know you live in So Cal when... 1) Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income. 2) You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice. 3) You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone. 4) You speak Spanish, but you're not Mexican. 5) You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see below). 6) Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". 7) You drive to your neighborhood block party. 8) In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe sunburn. 9) You eat a different ethnic food for every meal. 10) If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving. 11) Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code. 12) You know what "In-'N-Out" is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any. 13) You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll. 14) You really can never be too rich or too thin or too tan. 15) You've partied in Tijuana at least 3 times and you don't remember at least 1 of them. 16) You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach. 17) You eat pineapple on pizza. 18) Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head. 19) You think that Venice is a beach. 20) The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal. 21) You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is. 22) You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "949." Nobody likes anyone from the "909" because it stinks there. 23) You call 911 and they put you on hold. 24) You have a gym membership because it's mandatory. 25) The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday. 26) You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason. 27) You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks. 28) You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean. 29) You can't remember . . is pot illegal? 30) It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH". 31) The Terminator is your governor. 32) You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from California . Edited March 12, 2007 by Maral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted March 12, 2007 Report Share Posted March 12, 2007 Now this is funny!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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