Anileve Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 The other day I saw probably one of the most romantic displays of affection and love which has become a rare occurrence. I have to confess I had tears in my eyes. I was at a romantic Italian restaurant and I was facing a table with a group of older people, perhaps in their late 60's to mid 70's, 3 women and two men. One man that caught my eye was an older gentleman perhaps in his 70's, he looked like a true cavalier, dressed in a suit with a tie, glasses and had silver hair. He was exactly how I would have wanted my grandfather to be like, such a refined and intelligent appearance. Well, after the group handled the check situation, the older man I was "eyeing" got up and slowly walked (his age was reflecting in his speed) around our table towards the coat hanger. He then, took a coat of the hanger and holding it in his hands walked back to their table just as slowly. He stopped by the woman at the end of the table and patiently waited for her to stand up, as she got up he held a coat for her, while putting it on she gave me a quick smile, almost shy yet very happy. He then walked back to the coat hanger and put his own coat on. I was mesmerized watching the old couple as they walked out of the restaurant, she was holding his arm. Such happy couples are such rarity these days, when divorces are almost a natural transition of marriages. Where is the dedication, commitment and love that couples of older generation used to have. What happened to our fast lifestyle generation? Why are we so quick to throw in the towel? So my question to you, what do you think is the secret of a successful and loving marriage/relationship? What are the essential components in both partners, where have people of today gone wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 (edited) The secrets are.... Compromise,Respect and a good senses of humor ETA...you painted such a touching scenario,warmed my cold little heart Edited December 15, 2005 by Maral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I shared this story with a few other women, it seems like it's the formula to make their soft hearts melt. But Maral jan, I tried to translate it into words as vividly as possible, but you really had to see it. No words can express... Ok, those are general ingredients, but let us be specific, include scenarios if you can. I did notice that a sense of humor is a must, it does make things a little more joyful and a little bit lighter. How important is the element of opposite personalities? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 well, i can't answer your question, but i've witnessed a very "romantic" elderly couple in action a year ago, and it has stuck with me until now... a couple in their early 60s, both dressed very elegantly... standing outside of their car in a parking lot of a shopping mall... parked quite far, where there was no cars around them... an opera in full blast... and they were kissing like there was no tomorrow... even today's craziest of the youngsters don't kiss like that... so passionatly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Clown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Anka_ Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Mutual respect... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emil Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I think you made this story up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 So chivalry is not lost? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I know you guys are going to call me names after I say this but sex is one of the most important components. and I dont mean just the act of intercourse but love making. It really cures many problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakachik77 Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I think when you concentrate on what you can give rather than receive. Lowering expectations or rather not expecting demanding anything. It's hard to say though, to each their own. I have been in a good relationship for a year and a half and can't tell you what makes it good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 (edited) I know you guys are going to call me names after I say this but sex is one of the most important components. and I dont mean just the act of intercourse but love making. It really cures many problems. good point... ok so it's Compromise,Respect,Sense of humor and sexual compatibility ...... Edited December 15, 2005 by Maral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 It really cures many problems. including headaches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I was at a buffet a couple of years ago sitting at a table with my back to this elderly couple. I had nothing else to do but to eat and listen to their conversations. They looked like the rural types that had probably been married for several decades (I'd guess their ages at 60+ for the woman, and 70+ for the man). Well, it was more of a one sided conversation with the woman doing most of the talking and with the brief glipmses that I got walking back and forth from the buffet lines, the guy was nodding and agreeing with her. This all may seem normal and fine except for one thing. The ENTIRE conversation (for the more than 45 mins I was there) was about mashed potatos. I will spare you the details but I think that is a fundamental key to a long lasting relationship ... for a man to be able to sit through 45+ minutes of a lecture on mashed potatos and still be able to hold his food down, smile at his wife, and nod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 So chivalry is not lost? No, apparently it's there lingering away with the 70 year olds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Mutual respect... Too simple and too broad, mutual respect alone doesn't create the fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I know you guys are going to call me names after I say this but sex is one of the most important components. and I dont mean just the act of intercourse but love making. It really cures many problems. I've got a name I want to call you: Sexaholic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I think when you concentrate on what you can give rather than receive. Lowering expectations or rather not expecting demanding anything. It's hard to say though, to each their own. I have been in a good relationship for a year and a half and can't tell you what makes it good. Actually, this would be the first time I disagree with you. I think a woman must always demand, it makes men more ambitious and prevents them from becoming lazy bums that want to only watch sports and get "comfortable" in the relationship. A year and a half still counts, sometimes in a relationship that short you can find a hundred things that weren't there before and it makes it so good. Some of my friends are actually having this issue of not being demanding that's why their relationships have gone down the spiral. I have recently advised one of my girlfriends to demand, needless to say they seem to be happier. Go figure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted December 15, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 This all may seem normal and fine except for one thing. The ENTIRE conversation (for the more than 45 mins I was there) was about mashed potatos. A woman that can share your passion for food? (Of course in your case a buffet) Oooooh Sip, sounds like your soulmate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 (edited) I know you guys are going to call me names after I say this but sex is one of the most important components. and I dont mean just the act of intercourse but love making. It really cures many problems. Azat: Here I will agree with you completely. It makes the love/hate relationship more love than hate. Not only it makes you concentrate more on love; but you won't have time or the desire to argue when you're thinking on a lot of loving and sexual thoughts. Nothing wrong with that. The more the merrier. Lots of good food, wine, sushi or otherwise, constant laughter and lots and lots of sex and lovemaking; cures a whole lot of things. I have tried sushi lateley and it tastes wonderful with the right wine. But I have found out that it's becoming expensive. Edited December 15, 2005 by Anahid Takouhi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Anka_ Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 The other day I saw probably one of the most romantic displays of affection and love which has become a rare occurrence. I have to confess I had tears in my eyes. I was at a romantic Italian restaurant and I was facing a table with a group of older people, perhaps in their late 60's to mid 70's, 3 women and two men. One man that caught my eye was an older gentleman perhaps in his 70's, he looked like a true cavalier, dressed in a suit with a tie, glasses and had silver hair. He was exactly how I would have wanted my grandfather to be like, such a refined and intelligent appearance. Well, after the group handled the check situation, the older man I was "eyeing" got up and slowly walked (his age was reflecting in his speed) around our table towards the coat hanger. He then, took a coat of the hanger and holding it in his hands walked back to their table just as slowly. He stopped by the woman at the end of the table and patiently waited for her to stand up, as she got up he held a coat for her, while putting it on she gave me a quick smile, almost shy yet very happy. He then walked back to the coat hanger and put his own coat on. I was mesmerized watching the old couple as they walked out of the restaurant, she was holding his arm. Such happy couples are such rarity these days, when divorces are almost a natural transition of marriages. Where is the dedication, commitment and love that couples of older generation used to have. What happened to our fast lifestyle generation? Why are we so quick to throw in the towel? So my question to you, what do you think is the secret of a successful and loving marriage/relationship? What are the essential components in both partners, where have people of today gone wrong? I don't really know what the secrets are since I've never been married but all I can say is that the above scenario that you described should not surprise anyone. After all, isn't that the way it's suposed to be? Too bad most men today either pretend to be gentlemen in the beginning or they just lack that quality in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I don't really know what the secrets are since I've never been married but all I can say is that the above scenario that you described should not surprise anyone. After all, isn't that the way it's suposed to be? Too bad most men today either pretend to be gentlemen in the beginning or they just lack that quality in general. In some cases when a man is a reasonable man of course; a woman can also teach a man to be more of a gentleman. In a subtle way a woman can also teach a man to be more of a loving person for instance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aSoldier Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Anahid stick to one avatar! Lol jokes, I like seeing random pics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Anahid stick to one avatar! Lol jokes, I like seeing random pics You know what it is? I have recently discovered putting pictures in my Web then transferring them, and I love a whole lot of pictures, so it's like a new toy for me. I want to put nice pics. every now and then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 I was at a buffet a couple of years ago sitting at a table with my back to this elderly couple. I had nothing else to do but to eat and listen to their conversations. They looked like the rural types that had probably been married for several decades (I'd guess their ages at 60+ for the woman, and 70+ for the man). Well, it was more of a one sided conversation with the woman doing most of the talking and with the brief glipmses that I got walking back and forth from the buffet lines, the guy was nodding and agreeing with her. This all may seem normal and fine except for one thing. The ENTIRE conversation (for the more than 45 mins I was there) was about mashed potatos. I will spare you the details but I think that is a fundamental key to a long lasting relationship ... for a man to be able to sit through 45+ minutes of a lecture on mashed potatos and still be able to hold his food down, smile at his wife, and nod. Sipan jan you were at the buffet for only 45 minutes? ho ches hivandatse @nker jan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Sipan jan you were at the buffet for only 45 minutes? ho ches hivandatse @nker jan? I had to rush back to work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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