Gayane

I'm beginning to feel a little like I did when I first got on this forum over a year ago. Wasn't exactly a picnic as some of you will remember.

Azat, if I didn't think you were kidding, you'd be in BIIIIIG trouble... p.s. it actually hurts a little that you would think that of me (every joke is a half truth, remember?) p.p.s. movses, nshanvatsem, amusnatsats chem. harts: anpaymana amusnatsats linem vor nshvats verabermunk tsutsaberem im entrats txamartu handep?

Thanks for welcoming me back. Now I know who my REAL friends are....lol, kidding, kidding... Azat, I think Movses might have meant that I'm "busy" because I got engaged. Partly true...Partly not. Hehe, look at me. It's somewhere around 7:00 a.m., yes, a.m., and I've already been up for the last 3 hours. And that's my regular schedule nowadays. Pretty insane, isn't it? And work doesn't start 'till 9:00 a.m. (wake up with Serge, make breakfast, send him off to work, do laundry or some kind of household chore, take a shower, get dressed, go to work, come home, cook, do the dishes, stay up 'till late talking over a cup of tea, sleep for maybe 3 hours and the next day is more of the same). My god, I'm turning into my mother!!!!!!! (time for Gayane to panic, so if you'll excuse me........)

Azat, I meant women in general and Armenian women in particular (pretty much anything I post in this section tends to follow that pattern). And I will have to disagree with you. I think non Armenian women have strong dependency patterns as well. While these may not be as easily detected, they certainly exist. Mikey, (thanks ). I do think that you're right in that men depend on women as well in certain ways. However, womens' dependence on men is reinforced by the patriarchal structure of our society and can be said to be a societal phenomenon while mens' dependence on women tends to be viewed on a case-by-case basis. Besides, the famed double standard often applies: a man who is dependent in any way, even emotionally is a weakling; a woman who is a dependent in any way is, well, expected to be dependent. Do you see what I'm trying to say?

Harutik I can help. At least I think so. I'm not a psychologist (not yet anyway) but I work with women who are victims of domestic violence. Let me know if that qualifies

Hey, I'll help with all sorts of NON-math related subjects (uhhumm, lol). Languages and social science (any subject) are my specialties. Oh, by the way, if anyone was wondering whether I fell off the face of the earth or not, well, I damn well near did, but as always, managed to stay grounded still engaged, still in school (jesus christ, one more class till graduation)... changed jobs...I am now an outreach advocate for the Domestic Violence Project with the YWCA in Glendale (as fate would have it, I have moved out of Glendale by now...lol). I wasn't looking for a job, it was offered to me, out of the blue, completely unexpectedly. Needless to say I took it (full time, the whole deal), mainly because I get to do what I love and I get to work with the armenian community specifically. Lol, the cutest thing about this job is that I get to have my very own business card (I know, I know, of all the things to be excited about, right...lol). I love the public relations side to this job, it's very me...plus i get to help armenian women, and nothing beats that (if you know anything about me, you know I'm on cloud nine because of it) anyway, just a little update

I've been observing an interesting phenomenon lately: educated, career oriented, intelligent, seemingly intedependent women (of all ages) who are either a) in a relationship and highly dependent--socially, emotionally, psychologically, and even financially--on their partners, or single and involved in a desperate search for Mr. Right, usually someone whom they can depend on, again in the ways mentioned above. My question is first, whether or not my observation seems to hold true, and second, what are the causes and effects of this dependence. I purposefully leave the question open ended yet again to give everyone a chance to cover as many aspects of this as they think necessary. Feel free to ask for clarification if any is needed. Gayancho p.s. my wording of the title of this topic should give you an insight as to my views regarding this issue. [ August 10, 2001: Message edited by: Gayane ]

Alrighteeeee thennn..... I'd like to point out three things: 1. Hakob, who originally posted this topic, is now nowhere to be found on this thread. 2. Killing does not belong in this section. 3. Talk of nationalism and such does not belong in this section. Basing my decision on the aforementioned points, I am now closing this topic. (I do think the discussion is valid and I'd like to invite you guys to discuss it on another thread in a more appropriate section). Just doin' my job, don't ya know...

cute no woman with an upcoming ucla degree should be meeting guys online oh, if you care to know...i've met guys from online...varying sorts of experiences (some more scary than others, lol), but no one i'd care to share my life with....met my fiancee the old fashioned way--through a friend... just fyi...and good luck

I'm a little late in answering, but here's my take on it: go...go....go as far as you can....lol i didn't when i had the chance, and it's one of the few things i've ever regretted in my life... you will find your growth stunted (or at least severely repressed) if you stay... so go already!

lol....yeah, I'll figure it out....sometime soon before the wedding...lol

lol..smart chick

Alright. First of all, thank you to Berj and MJ for stepping in for me while I was otherwise occupied. Naira, I do agree with some of your thoughts. And believe it or not, I do agree with you that Armenians should lighten up on certain topics. However, a certain level of decency WILL BE maintained on this forum,, especially in my sections. You've been advised of the Code of Conduct and I suggest you take it seriously. This is not a threat, it's simply a point of information. Please, stay on topic. That's all for now.

Planning a wedding: man, this is a hassle. Why can't somebody just do this for me??!!!!!!!!!!! lol, kidding, kidding, wouldn't trade the experience for anything. But it IS a hassle. The damned thing is months away and I'm already getting harassed by my sister-in-law (my maid-of-honor), my mother-in-law, EVERYBODY. My typical day includes numerous assaults like "well, what are we going to do about the hall?", "when are we going to get the veil and stuff?", "david's bridal is having a sale" (with a meaningful look), "ok, let's make a list of what you need", "you need a wedding planner", "don't you think your dress is too open for a winter wedding? You'll be cold", "what about the tux rentals?", "guess what: I've already planned your bridal shower, we're going to Vegas!!!", "no strippers???????...ugh, dammit!", "the place right next to my mother's might be vacating soon, wanna take a look?" (my mother-in-law), "are you sure you want to do this????" (my mother!!), "well, no chance of anullment I suppose...but I do like the ring" (my sister!!!), "are you going to do your own wedding vows??" , "where are you going for the honeymoon?" , "how's all this getting financed?" etc etc etc. I'm going to screammmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enough already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, this is SUCH a pain. I've already had to give up working on Sundays to take care of all this, and it still seems like there's no end to it!! My sister-in-law said one smart thing so far (lol, I know, I know, I'm horrible). I'm sitting there with my head in my hands going "I can't take this anymore!!" and she goes "it'll all be worth it when he sees you walking down the aisle". I smiled

lol, no comment

Point #1: Let me bring you all down to earth (as much as I'm in seventh heaven myself, i gotta recognize reality...lol)...There is NO such thing as an ideal...Reality and all things ideal cannot coexist. Therefore, you can never have an IDEAL anybody. That said, Point #2: I know "doubt". Doubt is scary. It's torturous. I don't like doubt. Lol, I think I'm making myself clear. Anyway, any time you have doubt, you can't have "ideal". Since you speak of "bed time friends" (very cute, I have to admit), I'm assuming you mean ideal lover as in ideal in bed. But I wouldn't limit the discussion like that. To answer your question, yes I have met my "ideal" guy (I have no doubts), as ideal as they get anyway seeing as how I don't believe in the concept of "ideal". I prefer compatible. There, I can breathe now lol , much more realistic and much more "me"...

lol, Movses, mersiner...

Sidenote: He never lets his emotions affect his skill level (in anything) Plus I don't think the "woman loves--woman hates" philosophy is really applicable to women. I think women can be much more loyal to their men than they're given credit for. Partly because of the biblical origins of sexism inherent in our culture women are often said to be untrustworthy, lacking in loyalty, cunning, evil, etc...(think Eve and most everybody after her) but we're getting wayyyy off topic...plus i was never comfortable with this topic to begin with...i never have liked talk of fanatical killing, surprise surprise...so jump in with final comments and we'll close the thread.

Serge just saw this topic. His comment: "you're welcome to try". He has a really wicked expression on his face. He's smiling... lol

Celebrating on a monthly basis is not only silly it's ridiculous. The only significance of that is that the couple has no faith in the strength of their relationship. When you have the confidence you SHOULD have, time loses its meaning. But that's only our humble opinion

Thanks again lol, this is so funny, people didn't beleive me...is it so unbelievable?..lol Just to answer/comment a few people I'm 22 We're not planning on having kids 'till after I'm done with grad school (he's very supportive in every respect, thank god) Azat, you're wicked...lol... I wanted him to wear a white tux, he categorically refused...lol...oh, well.... (lol, because I'm so white he looks really dark next to me...my mother-in-law says whenever he wears white he looks like a mosquito in milk....lol..cracks me up) Oh, and get this...I really LOVE his mom.. I do... I would have never expected to be so fond of my mother-in-law, but I am... go figure...lol.. LOL, ok, I'm starting to tell the story of my life here...I'll stop...lol cheers gayancho

Thank you, thank you To all you skeptics out there, yes, I AM really engaged!!!!!! I wasn't joking about THAT part of it, jeeez! lol Armen, I respect the guy too!! And I know him!!!!...lollll Martin, correction: I HAD problems...lol... I've been cured (shame on you, you didn't believe me, boo-hoo ) Edgar, very observant -- impressive, I must say Movses jan, his name's Serge Mikey, you're right: God himself did propose to me, because I worship this man (he's watching me respond and he says that can be construed as blasphemy, but oh well ---he's smiling...lol) My god, two marriage proposals two refusals and endless heartache later, I'm finally happy. So happy. Love to all

I haven't parted with it ever since it was first put on my finger this Tuesday. It's a gorgeous ring, very "me". It has that timeless elegance look to it that I love so much. He chose it well (I couldn't believe how well he knew my taste, knew me). It's a beautiful marquis cut diamond, with smaller squarish diamonds around the ring itself. It comes in a set with the wedding band that has six more diamonds that surround the main stone when worn together with the engagement ring (which is how they will be worn after the wedding). I can't believe the sparkle and shine this clear stone eminates. It's truly amazing. It even sparkles at night. I'm so proud of this ring, proud of everything it symbolizes, proud of the way we handled ourselves on the journey that brought us to this point, proud of the man who put it on my finger. I've been staring at the ring almost non stop ever since Tuesday not because I'm fascinated by the magnificence of the jewel itself (like he always says, "without love it's only wire and stone"). I stare at it because I'm fascinated by the strength of our relationship, the mutual love and respect, the committment, the drive and determination we share: I'm fascinated by the depth of emotion this ring carries. In my previous postings you've all seen my skepticism about marriage. It still persists when it comes to the many weak and failed marriages around us. But there's no doubt in my mind about the strength of OUR marriage. This man has given me a renewed faith in the sacred nature of the institution of marriage. There are no doubts-- only certainty; certainty in the happiness we will always find in each other no matter what curve balls life throws at us. I think that certainty is the one thing I had always looked for but never found in anyone. I find it in him. My engagement ring screams of that certainty. I've never been so sure of anything in my life as I am of the success of this marriage. I don't think I can describe what I feel: it's such a humbling feeling. Congratulate me ...lol, kidding, kidding...

Does no one want to tackle marriage? lol, funny

turn offs in men: lack of confidence lack of manners selfishness inability to control me...haha, I'm serious laziness... hmmmm...just caught myself coming up with personality traits only...i wonder why that is...(sorry, psych analysis wheels turning) animalistic sexual tendencies (yuck) swearing dyed hair (or even highlighted)...yuck earrings (yuck) casual dress (sneakers, etc) dirty clothes (can't stand this) inability to carry a conversation (oh, god, i can't emphasize this enough) lack of family responsibilities ehh, the list is endless...