Gayane

GROWING PAINS: a contradiction I ooze like a thorny ball of plastic paint Weave out like an empty pail of transparent thread I scream and I shout. I cower. Afraif of your power. You stretch me like an ageless rock. You crush me. You crush me. When is it enough? Why will you not stop? I swell up in anger like a blooming flower. I wilt before you, an invincible tower. I beg you, I curse you. I rage and slump down. You look like a clown. Strangle me with those strong hands, kill me. Strangle me... Kill me... Kill me... A quiet bang, then another. I might as well be deaf. Bang! Bang! Broken, shattered... Bits of brown plaster embrace the bathroom tile. ...and all is still... I crumble before you. I am deaf. I am defeated. I raise my eyes to meet your fiery gaze. I am annihilated. Will you hold me tight, Daddy? You used to. Will you wipe away my tears, Daddy? You used to. Will you tell me a story? I hope there'll be a prince, or a duke, or a king and he'll be strong like you... and he'll be wise like you... and he'll be kind like you... Someday someone will love me, like you... Someday...when I'm all grown up. I'm all grown up now, Daddy. I'm all grown up now. a "gs" original, 9/24/00

...hearing one of my kids (that i work with, lol) try to say my name ...repeatedly... and he actually succeeded!!!... almost brought me to tears (considering he's non verbal) (the therapists' names usually are last on the list of what we hear from the kids, so that's the significance of it all)

Btac, sorry to burst your bubble, but no matter how much I love and respect a man, there's no way in hell I'll ever be stingy. Lol... Now, Lisa, I do believe that we do have innate characteristics that we can't change. Creativity is one, for example; generosity is another; so is kindness. The list goes on and on.

Short answer: yes If people can change for the worse, then why not for the better? And believe you me, they can change for the worse! Compulsive liars: these definitely can change, I've seen it. Cheaters: probably the only exception, they don't change (can, but don't) Perpetrators of abuse: I have very little faith in them. I have seen someone who'd never touch a woman actually hit one (she deserved it, if anyone ever did) and he hasn't been the same to this day. It totally changed him. In the face of adversity, people usually adapt. To what extent you'd consider that real "change" is up to you. Change is voluntary, adaptation isn't. I guess it depends on your perspective. Personally, I equate maturing with change. In order to mature, you have to change. The one thing I know for sure is that you can't grow as a person without changing.

guilty as charged! (i happen to like that song...lol) Mikey, I didn't mean that eloping is a new trend. It just might be all in my head, but it seems like I'm hearing of armenian girls doing it a lot more. That's what I meant as a trend; something "new" in our culture in particular, in the diaspora, perhaps having to do with living in the States, etc, etc.

Scenario: guy loves girl, girl loves guy, girl's parents disapprove, she runs away with guy, parents disown girl. Simple enough. Questions: what prompts a girl to take such a step? What prompts the guy to take such a step? (both knowing the consequences) What do you think of the parents disowning the girl? Is it ever justified? Is her running away ever justified? Is this a new trend that's developing? (this is the fourth such story I've heard about girls in the States running away with some guy and being disowned for it) (before you start sending me all kinds of emails...lol...no, i'm not planning on running away...lol) Anyway, I'm interested in this as a social phenomenon in our culture. Comments please Shamiram

Went shopping for and got for my sister a dress for her big performance this friday: she's representing the sophmore class at her high school's oratorical competition (for those of you not familiar, she gets to speak in front of hundreds--close to a thousand or so--people) I'm so proud of her I can't even tell you She looked so beautiful and radiant and GROWN UP in that classy, form fitting black dress especially picked out by yours truly (think understated elegance) I stared at her for about 30 seconds unable to speak: I'm happy I have that kid for a sister Today and always

lol..ba asa eh, Movses, asa...lol lol...xmenk gayanchikneri papaneri kenatse

Yes, I do believe in online love Rare, but it happens

Money makes it possible to even begin to appreciate the things that make us happy. Don't just automatically reject this once you read it (we're all conditioned to believe that old cliche "money can't buy happiness") If you have to worry about winning your daily bread on a DAILY basis there's no way in hell you're going to have the time or the inclination to listen to kef bands or heavy metal; watching your kids or being with your wife will not only NOT make you happy, but it will make you sick to the stomach because it'll hurt too much knowing there's no money to support them; you won't have any friends (sad, but true), and you definitely won't be going hunting for pleasure, or any of the other fine things that were mentioned Let's be realistic, ladies and gentlemen. Money makes a lot possible --not necessarily happiness itself, dont' get me wrong--but it certainly gives us the opportunity to be ABLE to enjoy all the things that were mentioned (and i agree) that make life worth living.

You know it, Mikey In terms of shyness on the net, I see no reason to be shy. I see no reason to be shy, period, whether it's on the net or otherwise. Express yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (can't you just see me shouting this out on a loudspeaker or something...lol)

Azat jan, anytime...lol btw, is that your real name? I have this thing about knowing people's real names on the forum (part of it is that I can't imagine why they wouldn't disclose it )

I didn't mean sex as in sex. I meant the fact that you're of opposite sexes, that there's an attraction (whether it's acted upon or not)

I think at different times in my life and with different people I've been all three (separately). But I also think it's possible to be all three simultaneously to one person. Most of my interpersonal relationships (be it a friendship or a relationship) involve all three aspects: I help (reason), bring them a little bit of joy (season), and give all of myself (lifetime). Sometimes I disappear, mostly I don't. If only they'd reciprocate in kind...lol

No, I haven't been to Andalucia...no such luck ...But the first chance I get to go to Europe without my parents, lol, that's where I'm headed (this summer they're dragging me to Paris... don't want to go!!!)

Che, mexka xexj txan Mikich inke iran havaki heto...lol Gayancho

How does everyone feel about friendships with someone of the opposite sex? Do you think it's realistic at its core? Do you think men and women can be friends? ("when harry met sally", one of my favorite movies of all time--and a surprisingly upbeat one for me since I usually like more somber stuff--comes to mind) Or do you think such friendships are invariably spoiled by the "sex" factor? What happens when people are attracted to their friends? Does a friendship survive? Etc Etc. Thoughts?

Steve, it isn't "russian" armenia. It's just plain Armenia, dammit...lol

Well, Mikey, I've always wanted to see what a Catholic church looks/feels like, and this one was of special significance. Plus I love exploring what you would call "spiritual" places: churches, cemeteries, etc...my trip to the buddhist temple I won't even talk about...lol.. Allow me to get a little weird: I have a very strong sense of energy fields and get all kinds of vibes from different places and people. This particular mission had a very healing energy to it....although the cemetery was very tumultuous Anyway, short answer to your question: my fascination with the spiritual realm

lol, Azat, I AM still in school. No harm in having your career well under way the minute you graduate, is there? I always plan ahead Gayancho

Visited a Spanish Mission today (San Fernando, Rey de Espana was the official name of the mission--as if there was any need to clarify who fernando is...I got a kick out of it ). A perfectly delightful way to spend 5 hours of a Monday morning (it had a giftshop, a museum, a church, and the grounds of course, complete with the cemetery, so there was plenty to do). A strange sidenote: while on the grounds of the cemetery, I saw a white butterfly fly by but by the time I looked up there was no trace of it. I wasn't alone in seeing it, but it didn't seem real, almost transparent. It was decided it was somebody's spirit saying "hello", as I put it. hehe, I now have a beautiful rosary to show for my trip to San Fernando, Rey de Espana...lol..it really is beautiful just thought i'd share (I'd recommend the mission to anyone, it was charming)

My apologies to the more seasoned members of the forum (I know you guys have heard this already, but I thought the newer members might be curious) Behavioral therapist. Not as complicated as it sounds I work with developmentally disabled (mainly autistic) children using a technique called applied behavioral analysis. I do my own contracting with the parents of the kids, but recently started with an Encino (CA) based clinic as well, so I have the best of both worlds. Future plans include getting my graduate training as a psychologist and opening a clinic/educational center of my own (not necessarily in the same sub- specialization). Now for the second part of your question that no one answered I love my job If anyone was ever "meant" to work in a particular field, I was meant to work in this one. There are many fields I would succeed in. Child psychology is the only one I have any desire to be involved in; it's my passion. Can't see myself doing anything else except perhaps working on issues that impact the lives of armenian women.

From attitudes on sex to domestic violence; interesting. Further reinforces the fact that there's so much to be said on the topic. Digress all you want, as long as it's constructive and deals with men/women/relationships of any sort.

Andalucian (southern part of Spain)

Martin, I think you take too narrow a view of dance. I do agree that its origins may have been ritualistic. Here I think we need to distinguish free-form dance from traditional dances characteristic of a specific culture. First, the former. Dance has evolved through time to encompass so much more than expression of sexuality or desire. A good dance (well choreographed) and a good dancer can express a wide range of emotions. I see free-form dance as an incredible venue for self expression. That said, you may have a point about traditional armenian dance as a reflection of our cultural values, but it has less to do with sexuality than with other aspects of our culture. The woman in most, if not all, armenian dances is frail, modest, submissive, weak. Compare that with the unpologetically strong, aggressive, and dominating role of the male dancer. Consider the implications. (As almost a sidenote, I think the collective nature of most of our dances points to the extreme reluctance of our culture to accept the value of individuals without the confines of a group membership. The individual as self has almost no value. But I digress.) I think you may have compared armenian traditional dance to latin dances. Again, I see the difference not in terms of expression of sexuality, but expression of culture as a whole (latin cultures tend to be more passionate, more expressive, etc), with sexuality being but one aspect. With respect to expression of sexuality in armenian dances, I'll agree that the modest (for lack of a better word) armenian woman in most of our dances is almost lacking in sexuality. This is hardly surprising given the expectations and the sexual mores of our culture as they apply to armenian women. But this is turning into a dissertation, so I think I'll stop for now. p.s. great topic for a future paper/ position statement I'll author. Thank you, Martin