THOTH Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Nice post Skittles! And Dave - I washed dishes professionally - for 6 years in restaurants - so don't go telling me how well or not I can wash dishes. Additionally I help with everything around the house and with the children - everything. And my wife is often away - for weeks - on business trips - and I care for my two boys entirely on my own - no problem. And I'm very likely a much more accomplished lover then you will ever be - I can assure you. So it is indeed possible to have it all - and to not be effeminate or what have you (as in no way am I)...and I'm sure that I have a better job then you do as well....LOL So there. Your idea of a strong or ideal marraige may be all fien and dandy (though I pity the gal that muct put up with the likes of a guy with your attitudes...oh well - perhaps that is what some want - and more power too them)...but I for one think that there are many marraige arrangements that would be more ideal - and to me a marraige is an arrangement where the husband and wife are equal partners. Sur eI might cut the lawn and do yerad work, work on cars etc - and she may do the laundry - but it doesn;t mean it has to be that way. i see no problem what so ever cooking dinner, shopping, doing the dishes, bathing the kids and aht have you - and no problem at all - just the opposite - with her working a good job. I'm fully comfortable with it...and can't at all see what is it with guys like you who seem to be afraid of women having any kind of independence and freedom. I for one am not intimidated by it. So why are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 And I'm very likely a much more accomplished lover then you will ever be - I can assure you. Now we're getting down to the stuff that matters! lav asir, thoth-jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 23, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Great good for you. I already knew you were going to probably marry a xelok harif guy anyway happiness to you in the future. i don't get this... if the guy doesn't "abuse" his wife(in a way) and control her every movement and if he repsects her as a human being and...satisfies her then he's a "xelok harif" guy? that doesn't necessarily mean the wife is in control...they should both be in control and work as a team and not be master and slave or something like that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=VAHE=- Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 (edited) if the guy doesn't "abuse" his wife(in a way) and control her every movement See that's the problem with your arguement. No one said that!!!! Stop assuming stupid things. Edited December 23, 2003 by Vahe G. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=VAHE=- Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 can't at all see what is it with guys like you who seem to be afraid of women having any kind of independence and freedom. I for one am not intimidated by it. So why are you? No one is afraid of women being independent. No one even said that they shouldn't be we're just saying we agree with the way of traditional Armenian Families and values( after all we are Armenian) and were defending our beliefs from your out of place attacks. I for one am not intimidated by a womans Independence. Just because you guys are Americanized or assimilated or what not doesn't mean that we are wrong or ignorant. Before you criticize us you should first see what or who you are criticizing us for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 23, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 if the guy doesn't "abuse" his wife(in a way) and control her every movement See that's the problem with your arguement. No one said that!!!! Stop assuming stupid things. oh but i did... and anyway those women i know are/have been abused either physically or verbally or both...their husbands almost never help them with anything around the house...or if they have to do it (coz it's hard for the woman to say lift something heavy or whatever) they get annoyed... so i'm not assuming anything! one more thing...a lot of the armenian guys/men i know are way too jealous! they will accuse their wife/gf of trying to attract other guys...coz someone just looked at her for a second. maybe when those men hear a woman has "freedom" they think she must be a whore... no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Women are not abused but should know their place... What country do you come from, Saudi Armenia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Vahe G - Your the one - or yur buddy Dave - who is making some case against those of us who have working wives and who contribute in the home and such. here and elsewhere I see posts foprm guys like you who seem to see women only as wives who stay at home and cok and take order/be subserviant to Armenian males. I say fine - for those who really want this - and some do aparently - but really now - you can't expect most women - who have now become educated to settle for that crap. And why is it that you assume that one cannot have a happy family where the husaband and wife are euqaul partners? Why must it be the man who is boss etc. It is you who are insinuating that my values are somehow lesser. And I highly reject this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 Guys, I don't understand where this argument leads to. Basically, it is like arguing blond women are more beatiful than brunet's - its all personal choice and also a great deal of cultural differences. Typical American men are surprised that most Armenian men would object doing housework, and typical Armenian men are suprised that many American men are like a secondary voice in the household. But everyone is more less happy in whatever settings they have found themselves. Nobody is forcing anyone to marry a dominant male or female, each one chooses their spouse according to their understanding, and these arguments are going to be a worthless waste of time. I like this, you like that, so what? I say fine marry whoever you like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 I like this, you like that, so what? I say fine marry whoever you like This is not the popular opinion. I believe it is the right one, but not even close to being what the average person thinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=VAHE=- Posted December 23, 2003 Report Share Posted December 23, 2003 This is pointless its like a continuing cycle I say something and you repeat the same thing everytime. THOTH I understand what you mean and I want you to know that I dont assume that and I know you can have a happy relationship when a both are equal I never said you can not but I feel that the Armenian way is better for me and In my opinion works better. I would actually prefer for my wife to be Educated. But thats irrelevant What country do you come from, Saudi Armenia? Don't make me laugh. This was a stupid thing to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 the bottom line is it's not only man and only Armenian man who are abusive or as Skitt is saying Overly Controlling some years a go I was working at a organization who was helping abused & displaced kids and woman, that’s a job I wish I have never took, I regret till this day, what I-have seen and witnessed is bugging me till this day… kids who have been abused by parents - wife’s who have been bitten beyond recognition and yes man who have been abused and yes bitten... it's human nature – some are like this from the day one, some become one from stress or who know what , some are still stack in CaveAge and strongly believe that Overly Controlling is the only way to go… All I can say is – take your time and get to know your partner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 wife’s who have been bitten beyond recognition and yes man who have been abused and yes bitten... Sheesh! I hope I dont get beaten.... <_< *Pulls out a baseball bat from behind* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 Juggy, you can join me at "Association of beaten man of the world" I am the president. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 Juggy, you can join me at "Association of beaten man of the world" I am the president. es inch hamov baner es asum azatik!!! ....i don't understand!! ov a kez dtzedtzel???? asa g@nam #$%*#%&* !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 Bruin Lav a du kas te che stegh inds kspanen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 What country do you come from, Saudi Armenia? yeah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 (edited) Juggy, you can join me at "Association of beaten man of the world" I am the president. I dont think I will fit in much bud, if there was any beatings taking place I am much more likelly to be the one doing the beating Disclaimer: I would never raise a hand at my wife, unless she deserves it!!! j/k Edited December 24, 2003 by Accelerated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 (edited) kavorkin i think that when the guy is too strict it's because he doesn't trust the girl much... i've even heard some people say you should keep the woman on a leash or something like that... i think it's mostly the men who need the leash! in most cases, when the man is strict on a certain something that's bcuz he is guilty of doing whatever it is he is afraid of happening. yeah Sip the "priest" when he marries an armenian couple asks the guy "ter es?" and the girl "hnazand es?" but just because "ter es" and she is "hnazand" it doesn't give you the right to disrespect the girl her opinions and her decisions! exk. I am specifically going to tell the priest to NOT use that "hnazand" word. . Also if this so called control crap is Armenian I dont really see anything wrong with it. Also when you think about its a plus for me lol why would u see anything wrong with it.. it's to ur advantage, selfish. Girls, how many of you want your man to be like American (most) white boys, I mean smile nonstop, clean the house, make dinner, wash the dishes, do the laundry, etc... Would that turn you on? A man who is more faminante then you? how would you lets say want to have a sex with that king of a man, this thread is not about how rabiz, uneducated, smelly , tasteless some Armenian man are, this is really about how much do you want you man to be like a man, not just like a pussycat or something. maybe Armenian man just appear overcontroling in comparison to whom? me. I'd treat him like the king that he is in return. Anoushik do us a favor stop assuming because your way off. Great good for you. I already knew you were going to probably marry a xelok harif guy anyway happiness to you in the future. why dont YOU stop assuming things. A man who is true to her woman, who is respectful, caring, understanding and helpful to her is not a 'harif.' He is a self-confident, self controlling, strong individual. He does not do what he does bcuz he HAS to, but he does it bcuz he WANTS to because he cares for his wife. Now That is sexy. Edited December 24, 2003 by BitterSweet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted December 24, 2003 Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 What country do you come from, Saudi Armenia? Don't make me laugh. This was a stupid thing to say. Well, it's not always fun to not try being stupid around some people. And, Sasun, it's not a matter of "this way" or "that way" - it is very likely that women are going to face these "typical Armenian husband restrictions" later on once the ring is on the finger. I mean, what male in their right minds would say, "OK, when we're married, you're going to give up your job, make babies and look after them, cook food you're going to put on the table, wash clothes, and wash my feet when I come home from work," from the very beginning, or right after he proposes? I really don't think it is unlikely. OK, some women might settle for that, but I don't suspect a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted December 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2003 yeah as soon as the ring is on the girl's finger she becomes HIS property and he can do and say whatever HE wants... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted January 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 peace of advice, keep the ring, kick him out of your life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ED Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 (edited) Well, it's not always fun to not try being stupid around some people. And, Sasun, it's not a matter of "this way" or "that way" - it is very likely that women are going to face these "typical Armenian husband restrictions" later on once the ring is on the finger. I mean, what male in their right minds would say, "OK, when we're married, you're going to give up your job, make babies and look after them, cook food you're going to put on the table, wash clothes, and wash my feet when I come home from work," from the very beginning, or right after he proposes? I really don't think it is unlikely. OK, some women might settle for that, but I don't suspect a lot. hmmm I'm confused here, this is an outrage , how come I ended up doing most of those things you mantioned and still can be called a typical Armenian man, well I'm on crusade here I will set myself as an exaple and change all that seriosly in this day and age how can one tolorate or live a life suitable for a cave man? I do understand but as time passes for those who fallow such a "laws" only matter of time in this or in western countries they do indeed change, this middle eastern yoke has go away, and gradualy Armenian woman are "waking" up, and are not the "lambs" they once were, thanks to that cheers Edited January 11, 2004 by Edward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted January 11, 2004 Report Share Posted January 11, 2004 Well, it's not always fun to not try being stupid around some people. And, Sasun, it's not a matter of "this way" or "that way" - it is very likely that women are going to face these "typical Armenian husband restrictions" later on once the ring is on the finger. I mean, what male in their right minds would say, "OK, when we're married, you're going to give up your job, make babies and look after them, cook food you're going to put on the table, wash clothes, and wash my feet when I come home from work," from the very beginning, or right after he proposes? I really don't think it is unlikely. OK, some women might settle for that, but I don't suspect a lot. So what are you saying Stormig? Armenian man are hopeless wife-haters, dictators, cave-men, etc... that's not realistic. All I can see in all of these threads (virgine marriage, armenian men, same sex marriage, etc...) is CLASH OF CULTURES. It could be western vs. caucasian, or new vs. old but it is never a matter of Armenian men being wrong or Armenian women being wrong or traditional people being wrong. My advice: it is the culture, find the most suitable culture for you and be content, don't blame or criticize others for having a different culture Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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