ED Posted December 21, 2004 Report Share Posted December 21, 2004 THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES... A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others. A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 -Vahan, du Hunastanum yeghel es? -Yeghel em. -Kiprosum? -Nuynpes yeghel em ... -De, vortegh er aveli lav? yes el em uzum gnal: -Chem karogh asel, yerku teghn el yes knojs u yerexaneris het em gnatsel ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 -De, vortegh er aveli lav? yes el em uzum gnal: style_images/master/snapback.png Aveli lav e gnal MaskvaJan kamadirovka Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Amusnutyun@ da kyanqi ayn orn e, yerb t@ghamard@ lav hagnvum e, vorpeszi 2 votqov @nkni tsexi mej. [meghm asats] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Yete amusin@ tsaghikner e nvirum arants patjari, apa amen depqum patjarner kan: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Amuri t@ghamardu hamar amenadzhvar@ knoj shorer@ haneln e, isk amusnatsatsi hamar` hagtsnel@: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Amusnutyun@ da kyanqi ayn orn e, yerb t@ghamard@ lav hagnvum e, vorpeszi 2 votqov @nkni tsexi mej. [meghm asats] style_images/master/snapback.png Isk kine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 @nker@ hartsnum e @nkeroj@. -Du qnel es im knoj het? -Voch, yes indz yerbeq nman ban tuyl chei tal: -Izur, na qoninits lavn e: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 -Inch e ognum lav qnin? -Lav qnin ognum e 3 ban: maqur xighj, papuk barts, yev t@ghegh kin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 -Vorn e @ndhanur narkoz@? -Uzhegh harvats glxin" -Isk teghayin@? -Harvats` serakan organnerin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 B@zh@shki senyakits durs e galis hivand@ yev batsakanchum. -Vortegh gntem yan b@zh@shkin vor karsi te aroghj em? -Miayn zinkomisariatum: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Mi geghetsik shikaher kin gnum e b@zh@shki: -Lriv hanveq, hima k@znnem, - asum e b@zhishk@: Kin@ zarmanum e. -Inch lriv hanvem? im miayn atamn e tsavum ! -Duq jisht eq, gulpaner@ yev koshikner@ karogh eq ch@hanel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 (edited) Handipum en hin @nkerner nrantsits meki harsaniqi tarelitsin: -De, inchpes e qo amusnakan kyanq@? -De, aypes: xmel chi kareli, tsxel chi kareli ... -Yerevi z@ghjum em? -Z@ghjal nuynpes chi kareli Edited December 31, 2004 by Sulamita Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Isk kine? style_images/master/snapback.png ayn or@ yerb sksum e mtatsel "ba indz petq er??? im hamar hangist aprum ei" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Yete amusin@ tsaghikner e nvirum arants patjari, apa amen depqum patjarner kan: style_images/master/snapback.png Anet jan - urish ban chunes anelu :?: t@gthamardkants Gaxtniqnern es mejtegh hanum ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Anet jan - urish ban chunes anelu :?: t@gthamardkants Gaxtniqnern es mejtegh hanum ??? style_images/master/snapback.png aysor, voch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 yes yerevuam zangem Zoqanchis DSL anjatel tam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Arten usa Movses jan. Mi kich arach estegher mer Anetai bolor gratsner@ tpela... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Dzaxord Orer@ Dzmran N@man Kugan U kertan esor el Divanin qnetsinq Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 Movses jan, yes amusnatsats chem, baits shapat@ 2 gisher divani vra em qnum. Parapum em amusnutian tarineri hamar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 http://tlf.cx/bilder/usamachase.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted December 31, 2004 Report Share Posted December 31, 2004 http://tlf.cx/bilder/thebushring.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted January 1, 2005 Report Share Posted January 1, 2005 Sulamita's new name: TSUNAMITA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted January 2, 2005 Report Share Posted January 2, 2005 Sulamita's new name: TSUNAMITA style_images/master/snapback.png please tickle me so I can laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 6, 2005 Report Share Posted January 6, 2005 http://tlf.cx/bilder/thebushring.jpg style_images/master/snapback.png Elijah Wood grew up to be Bush Jr. What I learned from this post is that genetics matters. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v96/Anonymouse/frown.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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