women keeping their maiden name

[Maral]

why?is it a statement they are making?is it something the government wants?I don't get it Edited July 6, 2007 by Maral

[Ariane]

I've been married to non-armenian man, at this time, the reason why I wanted to keep my father's name, is my pride, my identity, it shows everyone I'm armenian !!!

[Anoushik]

Ariane, how about your children? Whose last name do they have? Edited July 6, 2007 by anoushik

[Ariane]

they just have their father's name ! I've asked to their father if he was ok for them to have my name after his, he said NO !!! I was OK, cause after all he's the father, even if I think it's really MACHO !!!

BUT, now it's possible, if they want, one day, for them to have my name after the one they have, they know I would like it, but the girls will loose it when they'll marry ! SO SAD !!!

I've given them an armenian first name in third position, so they have something... so little it is...

 

[Anoushik]

But Ariane, why does it bother you that they have their father's last name? Surely you knew that your children would be half-Armenian when you married your husband? I don't think it's macho for him to insist that they have their his last name. Someone's got to give. If they had yours then he'd complain. And like someone mentioned, we can't just give our children two last names, because it'll just add to many last names in the future generations. Kind of like in Latin American countries. I actually liked the idea of the LA mayor Villaraigosa's, adding his last name (Villar) to his wife's (Araigosa). They're divorcing now though.

[SevanAcher]

But Ariane, why does it bother you that they have their father's last name? Surely you knew that your children would be half-Armenian when you married your husband? I don't think it's macho for him to insist that they have their his last name. Someone's got to give. If they had yours then he'd complain. And like someone mentioned, we can't just give our children two last names, because it'll just add to many last names in the future generations. Kind of like in Latin American countries. I actually liked the idea of the LA mayor Villaraigosa's, adding his last name (Villar) to his wife's (Araigosa). They're divorcing now though.

 

A bit of a waste of creativity there on his part.

 

 

In any case, my mom never had to face this dilemma; she had the same last name as my dad

[Harut]

why?is it a statement they are making?is it something the government wants?I don't get it

 

i doubt it's an act of making a statement or intentional discouragement on the government's end... i think people are just not accustomed to it... plus, the regular bureaucratic hindrances in armenia make it even less desired endevor... for example, a lot of people are majorly annoyed to apply for a passport to begin with, let alone go back to the system for the second time to change their name in it...

Edited July 7, 2007 by Harut

[Maral]

A bit of a waste of creativity there on his part.

In any case, my mom never had to face this dilemma; she had the same last name as my dad

you're kidding!

I thought my parents were the only ones

[Arpa]

you're kidding!

I thought my parents were the only ones

No, Maral. No kidding. As Armenians have such a limited scope of surnames, many do marry those with the same. I know of many. No. Not me.

As to maintaining maiden names. The world is so complicated now. This is a new era. It is not te time when a girl would sit in her father's house, weaving carpets and singing (qarsun taris shut antsav) "Akh taneyin, taneyin. Hor@s tunen haneyin". There are many reasons why today many womn maintain their birth surnames. Many are bureaucratic, but more so professionaL and academic. A lot of women have millions of diplomas, licenses and certificates issued in their paternal surnames that it would be a nightmare to amend tem all. A good example would be my daughter in law who has millions of documents in her maiden name.

Just imagine the bureaucratic nightmare when one decides to change their surname of Chirkinian(ugly) to Geghademian (beautiful).

Ուրեմն ինչպէս նէրկայացնել մե րնորապսակ ամոլնէրը.

Տէր եւ Տիկին Արա Արարատեան եւ Արփի Արփիարեան?

Edited July 7, 2007 by Arpa

[Harut]

A bit of a waste of creativity there on his part.

In any case, my mom never had to face this dilemma; she had the same last name as my dad

 

my parents too!!!

[phantom22]

I now find out that even though I have been divorced for many years, credit agencies have me listed not under my surname but hers. So, it is not she who has assumed my surname - but me who has assumed hers.........and we are not even married anymore. Her feminist friends must be VERY pleased.

 

 

Sip, Thoth, try to explain that to Hagarag who puts too much attention on "family values", last name.

 

and he is the liberal one.

 

[Ariane]

But Ariane, why does it bother you that they have their father's last name? Surely you knew that your children would be half-Armenian when you married your husband? I don't think it's macho for him to insist that they have their his last name. Someone's got to give. If they had yours then he'd complain. And like someone mentioned, we can't just give our children two last names, because it'll just add to many last names in the future generations. Kind of like in Latin American countries. I actually liked the idea of the LA mayor Villaraigosa's, adding his last name (Villar) to his wife's (Araigosa). They're divorcing now though.

No Anoushig, it doesn't bother me if they have their father's name, I have my father's name, it's normal ! But I wanted them to have both names, for to have an armenian name too, that's all !

Here in France, kids can have the 2 names, and when they marry they can choose the one they want, or only have their husband's or wife's name.

I'm not sad for that, I just think it's a bit MACHO to refuse the kids to have their mother's name, do u understand wot I mean ?

 

[karnoug]

Just as a background, throughout history women have taken on the man's last name after marriage because women were viewed as "property", hence when they married they became the husband's property and took their name.

 

Now, that being said, here's my view on this whole thing. It would be nice for the entire family to have the same last name to have an identifying factor for the whole. And it's a choice of which partner wants to change the last name. I think for women it is much easier to change their last name if they get married at a young age. However, if a woman is getting married later on in life, after working hard to establish herself, economically, socially, and both in her carreer and education, it will be difficult to change her name.

[Emil]

If the woman keeps her maiden name, it makes for the transation back to single life after the divorce much easier.

[Sip]

No disrespect intended to those that have gone through the painful process of divorce. But still, that was funny as hell.

[Maral]

If the woman keeps her maiden name, it makes for the transation back to single life after the divorce much easier.

BINGO!

[Emil]

No disrespect intended to those that have gone through the painful process of divorce. But still, that was funny as hell.

 

 

 

 

[Anoushik]

A lot of women have millions of diplomas, licenses and certificates issued in their paternal surnames that it would be a nightmare to amend tem all. A good example would be my daughter in law who has millions of documents in her maiden name.

But why is it necessary to change your name in the diplomas and certificates as well?

 

And about being established - one of the piano teacher's in my former college had changed her last name to her husband's, but would use her maiden name in programs when she played in recitals. I think that's a great solution if one is relatively well-known in certain circles. Otherwise, come on, who is so well established in the aforementioned posts that the whole world would get confused if she changed her last name?

[Maral]

I honestly can't see it being that difficult to change ones name in 2007.

I think women decide to keep their maiden names just to maintain their individuality.And to make sure there is a distance between them as an individual or professional and them as a wife or mother.To each his/her own as they say.

[Anileve]

When I was getting married I thought about this a lot. I ended up changing my last name to my husband's. The deciding factor -- our future children. I really wanted our family to have the same last name, plus it was extremely touching when my husband said that he is willing to take my last name if I wanted, just so I can keep an "indicator" of my heritage. I guess that's when I was certain, if this man is willing to do something like that to make me happy, then I would be happy to have his name. We have decided that we'll give our kids my last name as their middle name, just to give them an extra ingredience.

 

I have to say that it's also quite an interesting experience, it's weird to be of Armenian origin and have an Irish last name, imagine if my first name was Tsovinar or Zamroukht.

 

I have to agree with Maral and anoushik. It's really an individual choice, I don't see what the big deal is, one should do what they find most convenient or practical to themselves, rather than adhering to some senseless principle. I am not a fan of two last names, it gets too complicated and too long, and it's true, down the road things will get even more confusing for the younger generations. In terms of identity, it's really not, your last name is your father's, from one man to another, so you just chose which man's name you'd like to carry, and if you love them both it could be a tough choice. Now your first name is your own, that's what people know you by, but that could be changed also. Nothing is really constant, so who cares, just do what's reasonable and what you desire most.

[Boghos]

When I got married my wife wanted to take my last name, so i agreed.Our kids only carry my last name for practical purposes, otherwise every encounter they have have becomes a spelling bee.And everybody lived happily thereafter.

[Takoush]

Such as Boghos when I got married to simplify things I got my husband's last name and I kept my birth/maiden name as my middle name. I suppose it simplifies matters in the presence of child/children.