Azat Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 interesting. I can tell you that it is very try what juggs said about friendship in the states especially in the big cities, but people in central America do form friendships that last a lifetime. While I can't claim the same as your dad, I can tell you that the 5-6 people that I consider as my best friends today will probably be my best friends in 20-30 years. My BEST friend is a person I have known for the last 30+ years. We both grew up together in Armenia as neighbors and after being apart for 10+ years have now continued our friendship here in LA. I have another friend that I got to know the 1st day I went to school in LA. And he and I have been friends for 20+ years. All my other friends are americans and I have been good friends with all of them for over 10 years and in fact one of our friends moved to NC because of a job and we still see each other every 5-6 months as either we all meet in Vegas or he comes to LA or we fly to NC. With that said I still am jealous of people like your father or my father(who went back to Yerevan last year to meet again with his friends) and even people like harut who went to school in Armenia and formed a very close bond with his class mates, that probably will last a lifetime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 . The independence and privacy are a direct result of the higher standard of living. I dont think standard of living has much to do with it. In the 60s and 70s, the standard of living in the USSR wasnt much lower than that in the US, but people (who are in their 50s and 40s now) were able to forge much better friendships there. IMO, its got more to do with culture: Anglo (and other Western European) culture IMO doesnt 'allow' for true friendship. And now, materialism and greed have made things worse still. Coming from diverse backgrounds is a result of the melting pot of ethnicities as well as the different upbringings of everyone (since there is a wider range of ideas, opinions and philosophies). mmm....yes, to some extent. But, point is, for example I dont have any close Anglo (Australian friends). My best friend is Croation, and then there are Poles, Arabs (Christian), Russians, Serbs etc. With that said I still am jealous of people like your father or my father Same here Azat, lets hope that an environment like that would exist in the future, for future Armenians to create lifelong friendships. After love (which is a friendship/partnership of sorts with ones wife/husband), friendship and brotherhood is the next important thing. I imagine, someone who lacks both (love and friendship) has a very miserable life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 all very true! even more sad when it comes to girls! they get all jealous/moody and 'otsanum ehn'...very few girls can be very good friends and be kind and sweet:) i recognize this and appreciate it when i find something unique... bottom line: people value sexual relationships more than anything else!! more than friendship, even now as can be seen...even more than family!! --i am not one bit surprised! this is a very hedonistic driven world we live in where instant gratification (in all areas of life) is what people seek out! whatever happend to slowing down and "listening to the sound of your heart?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 whatever happend to slowing down and "listening to the sound of your heart?" aaahhhh.....how sweet! btw. I just realised, I dont think I have seen a single Hollywood movie with a main theme of friendship. I saw '25th Hour' last week (with Edward Norton), that was sort of about friendship, but it was emphasising how f#@$ed up friendship is these days. Nothing like the Russian movie 'Brat' (Brother) of course. Also very recommended: about friendship, brotherhood and honour (with a bit of Russian chauvinism thrown in). Unfortunatelly, the main star of the movie died, only last year I think..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiner Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 Accelerated,This kind of relates to the topic indirectly, and I've never lived in the USSR, but I don't think the standard of living there was ever close to the standard of living in the US. I'm originally from Romania and I know many Armenians who gladly immigrated to the U.S. at the time. And Romania was above the USSR (in the sense that many Armenians who left Romania for Soviet Armenia deeply regreted it). But sociologically speaking the lower standard of living leads to a more communal environment. Even in the U.S. people in the ghetto are "closer" to each other than people in country clubs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 I tend to agree with shiner on the "standard of living" but I would word it more around the independence issue. Here these days in the US, you don't NEED anyone. You have all sorts of insurances, workers comp, disability, medical benefits, etc etc and there is a FULL system in place such that you can become completely independent. If you are a decent normal hard working individual that follows the rules set by the system then you don't need to rely on anyone anymore. No more "need" for friendship ... no need for help from others. The system also inherently discourages the you scratch my back, I scrach your back mentality that we are so used to from the eastern parts of the world. I think some of the strongest friendships develop when there is a symbiotic relationship of some sort where both parties involved benefit from each other somehow. Remove one or both of those dependencies and you severely weaken the bond. It's a changing world! Much more dynamic, much less social in the old "communal ways" as shiner puts it and much more social in the anonymous/internet sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 18, 2003 Report Share Posted September 18, 2003 but I don't think the standard of living there was ever close to the standard of living in the US. I think it might have been, in the 60s and 70s.....maybe not in the villages, but in the cities I think it would have been pretty close. No more "need" for friendship ... no need for help from others. The system also inherently discourages the you scratch my back, I scrach your back mentality that we are so used to from the eastern parts of the world. The question is: does the lack of scratching/being scratched ( ) lead one to a less substantial life? I think some of the strongest friendships develop when there is a symbiotic relationship of some sort where both parties involved benefit from each other somehow. Remove one or both of those dependencies and you severely weaken the bond. Yes, following your (Anglo) logic, one also has no need for parents/brothers/relatives either. I mean parents are only a burden when they grow old.....so thats what the old folkes home is for, just throw them in there It's a changing world! Much more dynamic, much less social in the old "communal ways" as shiner puts it and much more social in the anonymous/internet sense. It is changing for sure, for the better? maybe from the standard of living point of view. But are people more happy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexx Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 Reading your posts brings back so many wonderful memories of friendship. I can relate to many of you (Harut and Accelerated and MosJan especially) on your experiences and thoughts on friendship. At sixteen I left Armenia--nearly a dacade ago but memories I cherish the most to this day are those of friends I left behind. For nearly a year, there wasn't a day that would go by that I didn't cry in bed for my friends--a family really since we spent much more time with each other in school and out of it than with my parents or siblings. I know that I can count on them always. Even though today most of us are scattered in the world, we still keep in touch and we are all going to meet in Armenia for our high school reunion next year. I went to high school here and hated it, couldn't relate to anyone--even the Armenian students. The Armenian girls in my school, to my misfortune, were the worst--they talked about superficial stuff (which guy is cute and such). So I stayed away. To this day, even though I have many acquaintances, the only true friends I have are my husband, my sister and my mom. As I read your posts, I can't help but wonder of potential friendships that could have formed between some of us (members of this forum) had we met under different circumstances. As it is, I am still very pleased to have found this site-- I don't feel such a stranger in this country anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 That was a very nice post Alexx. I hope you stay long in this forum and if you will realize what great quality of people visit us.(excluding the forum idiot-me) True we have many strange people as well, but most are genuinely wonderful people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 I hope you stay long in this forum.... Ya....welcome aboard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 I know that I am unusual for an American (and have been told that by many people for a variety of reasons - LOL) but in fact I am still extremely close with a group of about a dozen (or more) of my friends - dating from High School (some I have even know since even the first grade and grade school). Many of us still live (or have come back) to the local area (though in fact I am in a different city) - but even those of us who live away (some even overseas) have kept up our (close) friendhips (some through emails/telephone calls etc - but also with visits & such) - and when we do get together its almost as if we have never been apart. Many of us are like brothers/sisters - and I certainly feel that way about them - very very close. Others always comment that we were/are a special group (and I certainly feel that way)...I've also done much to continue these ties (as have others). Just another reason for you to worship me Azat! (as you do - eh?...LOL). Seriously though - these bonds are very special to me - they are, will be, and have been lifelong....and I feel particularly blessed for them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armat Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 Here these days in the US, you don't NEED anyone. How accurate and sad with many layers of gray overcasts. True, standard of living in the states is high but socially very poor. Explains the dog and cat obsessed- (read loneliness) or constant dating shows- (read loneliness) or retirement houses where elders are dying -(read loneliness) and in the end what does really count?I disagree with the statement that standard of living makes people forge less strong ties. I know many Danish acquaintances and they constantly talk about their friends and strong family ties and Denmark does have high standard of living. I agree that homogeneousness has more to do with it.It is interesting that in the States you meet someone twice in a party and they think you are already their friends. Yapp definition of friendship in the States is as shallow as the culture it represents. Yes there are many exceptions but overall picture is pretty dismal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted September 20, 2003 Report Share Posted September 20, 2003 I have lived in Australia for over 10 years: I have never heard a song about friendship or brotherhood (I suspect, it simply wouldnt sell). Everything is about love/sex/money. Even Russians have popular songs on friendship. Thoughts, comments here..... Peple do not sing songs about the things they have plenty of, or about the things they do not value. I suspect that in Australia it is the former reason. Though I have not been to Australia, I have always got the impression that friendship was extremely important there. Anyone in Britain who hears the word "mate" will always think "Australia". And every Australian I have ever met I have found to be very charming and friendly. Maybe the money-grubbing, dog-eat-dog, personal-satisfaction-is-everything Australia you talk of is formed from the post 1970s imigrant influx that has more or less destroyed the more relaxed and friendly Australia created by the English/Scottish/Irish imigrants from earlier generations. Maybe the concept of having "mates" only survives in smaller towns now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted September 20, 2003 Report Share Posted September 20, 2003 I have lived in Australia for over 10 years: But do you have a shed yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 20, 2003 Report Share Posted September 20, 2003 Peple do not sing songs about the things they have plenty of, or about the things they do not value. I suspect that in Australia it is the former reason. Plenty of?.....I doubt it. I dont think its too different here from the US and Britain. I have always got the impression that friendship was extremely important there. well....the only benchmark I can compare it to is Armenian friendship (or rather, what it used to be) and it doesnt come close. And every Australian I have ever met I have found to be very charming and friendly. Yeah, Aussies are pretty friendly and there certainly is a relaxed 'aura' around most Australians (including non-Anglos) But do you have a shed yet? We use the garage for a shed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted October 23, 2003 Report Share Posted October 23, 2003 Hmm…just like Domino doesn’t believe in “true love” I don’t really believe in friendship...I’ve seen so many things happen around me that I don’t trust anyone anymore… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DominO123 Posted October 23, 2003 Report Share Posted October 23, 2003 Hmm…just like Domino doesn’t believe in “true love” I don’t really believe in friendship...I’ve seen so many things happen around me that I don’t trust anyone anymore… Well, you can trust me. ARE you telling that you don't have any true friend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted October 23, 2003 Report Share Posted October 23, 2003 no comment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnuggleBunee15 Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 im so grateful to have a best friend. i think that everyone should have a best frined to talk to about anything. me and my best friend have been friends for 4 years and we have never faught. i dont know wut i would do without her. she makes me happy and shes alwasy there forever just how i am always there for her. i love her and i am very thankful to god for giving me a bestfriend as special as her. we could tell eachother and say the dummest things but we still love eachother. just sharing. lol. there is such a thing as true friendship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 there is such a thing as true friendshipI agree. I've had only one true friend. Currently, I have none. True friends are hard to find, but that doesn't mean they're not there. And that's my take on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 i think a friendship is something that cannot be defined or even explained..its almost like love---when you fall in love with someone---it just happenns no one knows how and no one knows why----you just find eachother somehow......like me and my best friend....we are alot alike and totally f=different at the same time---but we used to "hate" eachother when we were little then somehow became friends and now are best friends--from my experiences-friends are people you can share feelings with and who are there for you when you are going through tough times and offer a shoulder to cry on whenever youre sad lonely or depressed...they are the only ones who undersand you when it seems like the whole worldis going against tou and nothing is going right....they bring (uncontrollable:) ) smiles to your facethis is what i have learned through my experiences...i dunno?!?! a friend is just someone who cares! when your down and offers a smile 2 brighten up your day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 I have several very very close friends - and even though at times we have been geographically sperated and such - when we get together - as soem of us did just the other week - it was like old times again. I have one good friend who told me a few weeks back that he felt closer to me then to any of his brothers and that he thought of me (essentially) as a brother...and I feel very similarly towars hii...friendship is a great thing...and I can't see going through life without some great/close friends... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 (edited) Well there is a saying that lovers come and go but friends are there for life.. Edited December 5, 2003 by UKGIRL28 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirumemKez20 Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 i would like to open a discusion on friendship. what is a friendship?who are "best friends"? what do they serve for?friendship between man and woman?lifetime friends?what are the most occuring problems between friends? i'm looking forward for an interesting discusion.thank you I think friends are the people in your life that will be there for you when you need them and be faithfull. My best friend is actually my guy cousin, we are about the same age his 21 I'm 20. He has always been there for me when I needed him and always always protected me or helped me with everything. I think that having a person in your family be a friend is important because no matter what they will always be your "blood". I don't think we have ever got into an argument, and I am glad I have a friend like him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted December 6, 2003 Report Share Posted December 6, 2003 (edited) I've met a lot of ppl in my short lifespan.... deceptive, two-faced, back-stabbing, jelous, u name it, i've seen it. there's also been very nice, kind people I've met that I consider friends... with whom I dont share too much of my personal life with but enjoy their company. I've also been blessed to have two very close people in my life which I not only call my best friends, but my sisters... I've known them forever, grown with them, laughed, cried, fought, shared almost everything with them, and they know me better than anyone else in this world. A real friendship is a relationship in itself... it has its ups and its downs... there are fights, there is hurt. But there is also love, trust and compassion. (to name a few) ....and it's always a twosided road. There is true friendship, you just have to know how to weed out the wrong ones and keep the right ones. Edited December 6, 2003 by BitterSweet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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