hyebruin Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 Bruin jan, what lead you to believe that I was bitter? Quiet the opposite, I am sweet. Also we are not talking about forcing someone to pay. We are talking about the woman having respect to offer. If he declines that is a different story. BTW: Women get rewarded as well. It is not like the women are the only gender who buy gifts and such. well then i guess we sort of agree on that...i mean the woman should!! at least offer to pay! in the beginning a few times, then it's about getting to know the person! i know especially among hyestantzeehs it's an insult to the man if the woman takes her wallet out (which is a bit extreme) it's nothing offensive; i don't want a guy to pay for me if he doesn't know me all that way...though this is situation dependent...usually guys "behave" initially and don't show their true colors...it gets complicated!!! azat jan you're as sweet as a tootsie roll don't misunderstand! ~~~i kind of know what you're saying though! there ARE women who go out not for the company/date but rather for a free meal.... <_< totally pathetic!! don't want to know/meet those people!!! men buying gifts?? hahahaha are you kidding me? well, the way i see it men feel it's enough that they pay and call once in a while and don't even bother with that kind of s***!! most of them don't have the brains or the sense to know what a woman might want...all they care about is...well, you guys already know my take on this! don't need to go there!!! yeah, and if a man ever buys a gift, i'm not so naive to think it's because he "cares for her" or wants to "make the girl happy" ...he'd probably do it for...let's not got there again!!... <_< men!!! most of them DESERVE to 'go out with their hand'...no effort!! no nothing!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 men!!! most of them DESERVE to 'go out with their hand'...no effort!! no nothing!!and on top of that, the hand will also picks up the check!!! Bruin, I think you're on to something here!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 and on top of that, the hand will also picks up the check!!! Bruin, I think you're on to something here!!!! aaaaayyy sip jan LOL!! but no idea what you're implying? really!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 Sip is contemplating on career change - from computer geek (pardon genius) to investment banker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 Not that I do this but if I were to pay everytime for the dinners and the movies and this and that I could just hire a prostitute because to me that it what it looks like. If a woman wants to go out with me it should not be because I am paying. I actually find the reverse very sad for women. And I too would not waste my money on a woman who feels that I should pay all the time. EQUALITY? What happened to it. I also find it interesting how fast you guys change your mind. When it comes to equal pay and equal power at work you all feel that women should be equal but when it comes to paying all of a sudden all you ladies turn into "different than men" creatures. I don't, Azaty Poo. Can I take you out for dinner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 men buying gifts?? hahahaha are you kidding me? well, the way i see it men feel it's enough that they pay and call once in a while and don't even bother with that kind of s***!! most of them don't have the brains or the sense to know what a woman might want...all they care about is...well, you guys already know my take on this! don't need to go there!!! yeah, and if a man ever buys a gift, i'm not so naive to think it's because he "cares for her" or wants to "make the girl happy" ...he'd probably do it for...let's not got there again!!... men!!! most of them DESERVE to 'go out with their hand'...no effort!! no nothing!! Thats such a shame. I've never been like that. When I like someone (and I ussually am talking female here - though not necissarily - I'm taslking about a friend - be it female or male) - I often buy them things - because I will see things that make me think of them/what they might like or be into. Of course this is particualty true with gals who are special too me. I remember when my wife and I were first dating (and barely even at that) - she was always surprised that nearly always when I would see her I would have a little something...and for her birthday (and this is after we only had gone out on a date or two...and she already had a sort of a steady b/f BTW [that I only really found out about later]....LOL) I bought her some very nice crystal champagne glasses - she couldn't beleive it! Well - we put them to use (and we still have them...)...and the rest is history LOL - as it were...(funny though - I also bought the same glasses for another gal I was seeing around the same time...she also liked them...and was surprised...LOL...and though we are still friends...nearly 20 years later...well..our relationship didn't quite evolve the same way...not that this was my intention/purpose for the gift...though i certainly wouldn't have minded - LOL) But I really just can't understand folks (guys..?). When I like someone - particularly if I really like them/care about them - I am always thinking of them - and thinking of things that they would like...doesn't always have to be a big thing...its really the thought (literally) that counts. And I've been friends with gals(and I'm not even talking girlfriend per se) where we were always getting and exchanging gifts with each other (sometimes even naughty stuff! LOL)...it really makes a relationship special...because you are constantly remined of that person when you see something that they bought you etc..and I still have many of the little gifts that she and another gal I used to exchange gifts with (both many many years ago) that make me think of them...and that still makes me feel good...(and guess its why various gal's parents that I was friends with - but not necisarily...or at that time...their boyfriend etc - well they always were telling me how their folks told them they should be going out with or even marry me - versus the loser they were seeing at the time...LOL - of course some of those "losers" were (also) my (good) friends...LOL (and - also funny - one of my friends even (profusely) thanked me once for some of the naughty gifts I had bought for his girlfriend!!!! LOL...hey we used to have lots of fun with it...what can I say...? They are married now - for a long while - and have children and we are all still great friends and do lots of stuff together...and still joke about some of the gifts etc LOL) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 Not that I do this but if I were to pay everytime for the dinners and the movies and this and that I could just hire a prostitute because to me that it what it looks like. If a woman wants to go out with me it should not be because I am paying. I actually find the reverse very sad for women. And I too would not waste my money on a woman who feels that I should pay all the time. EQUALITY? What happened to it. I also find it interesting how fast you guys change your mind. When it comes to equal pay and equal power at work you all feel that women should be equal but when it comes to paying all of a sudden all you ladies turn into "different than men" creatures.I don't, Azaty Poo. Can I take you out for dinner? LOL - well your just special.... I'm not hard up about who pays...though as a man I do expect to pay and always am ready to do so...particualrly at the beginning of any relationship (I mean come on now!) ...of course once i would get to know a gal - and there might be a situation where I didn't have the cash for some reason or another - I had no qualms about suggesting that she could pay this time...or just letting her offer and do so...etc But yes - times have changed - and women are working and makig money and can pay for dinner, or theater tickets or what not (and its always great when a gal would call you up or such and say - I just bought tickets to the such and such concert/event or what have you - and I want you to go with me! etc...yeah that feels good (used to I mean...I'm married now of course and that changes everything...in a sense it doesn't matter who pays...as we combine all of our accounts etc...so while I ussually might pay - not always...sometimes she gets some bonuses or such for her card...that sort of thing...or whatever...). But in my mind - if a guy isn't ready and willing to pay when he takes a fine lady out to dinner...etc...well I gotta think something is wrong... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 (edited) Not that I do this but if I were to pay everytime for the dinners and the movies and this and that I could just hire a prostitute because to me that it what it looks like. If a woman wants to go out with me it should not be because I am paying. I actually find the reverse very sad for women. And I too would not waste my money on a woman who feels that I should pay all the time. EQUALITY? What happened to it. I also find it interesting how fast you guys change your mind. When it comes to equal pay and equal power at work you all feel that women should be equal but when it comes to paying all of a sudden all you ladies turn into "different than men" creatures.Funny - makes me remember way way back when - I used to work at this Greek restaurant - and one of the Greeks - named Angelo - well he was an older guy, umarried of course.... (..and I could go on and on about this guy...he lived out of his car BTW [washed up at the restaurant] - and was always playing the horses...well when he won big at the track he would disapear for weeks...off whoring according to the other Greeks! LOL) ..well this guy would occasionally come up and put his (slimey) arm around your shoulder and administer his advice to you about life...and it was always of a very interesting - but somewhat dubious - perspective. Well once he did this with me - and his words were "Winston, never get married....better to just have/use prostitutes...because you know...you just end up paying for it in the end anway..." Well - I won't comment further on that....LOL Edited September 26, 2003 by THOTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 azat jan you're as sweet as a tootsie roll don't misunderstand! ~~~i kind of know what you're saying though! there ARE women who go out not for the company/date but rather for a free meal.... <_< totally pathetic!! don't want to know/meet those people!!! men buying gifts?? hahahaha are you kidding me? well, the way i see it men feel it's enough that they pay and call once in a while and don't even bother with that kind of s***!! most of them don't have the brains or the sense to know what a woman might want...all they care about is...well, you guys already know my take on this! don't need to go there!!! yeah, and if a man ever buys a gift, i'm not so naive to think it's because he "cares for her" or wants to "make the girl happy" ...he'd probably do it for...let's not got there again!!... <_< men!!! most of them DESERVE to 'go out with their hand'...no effort!! no nothing!! ahhhhhhh and tootsie roles are my favorite candy as well. Hold on let me recheck. ........ Yap I am still a man, but I always buy gifts for women. You name it I have done it. Everything from candy and flowers to European vacations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 Not that I do this but if I were to pay everytime for the dinners and the movies and this and that I could just hire a prostitute because to me that it what it looks like. If a woman wants to go out with me it should not be because I am paying. I actually find the reverse very sad for women. And I too would not waste my money on a woman who feels that I should pay all the time. EQUALITY? What happened to it. I also find it interesting how fast you guys change your mind. When it comes to equal pay and equal power at work you all feel that women should be equal but when it comes to paying all of a sudden all you ladies turn into "different than men" creatures.I don't, Azaty Poo. Can I take you out for dinner? ya baby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 26, 2003 Report Share Posted September 26, 2003 I don't, Azaty Poo. Can I take you out for dinner? ya baby Here's a hint ... if YOU are paying, take Azat to a good steak house Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 LOL. Sip you can't give out these secrets to all the women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 ok guys do you really think it's equal? when you get married... guys get ready to make dinner, do the laundry, clean the house, do the dishes, dust, clean the toilet, buy the groceries, sweep the floors, iron your wife's, childrens and your clothes, serve your guests, ALL taking turns... all equaL.......and make sure to make that weekly schedule for which day who will do what! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 This may come as a shock to you, but YES. I think that's equal. HOWEVER, I am pretty good at fixing problems with cars and computers and haven't come accross too many girls that can keep up with me in that department. On the other hand, I SUCK at ironing. I usually end up making things worse after ironing. With cooking, I am a REALLY good cook but there is usually nothing left for others after I'm done "cooking". In certain cases, some partners may just be better at some things than others (not necessarily genetics but yes, also due to social/cultural up bringing). But whatever the reasons ... what I'm saying is "equality" doesn't have to be 50/50 with respect to EACH chore, but should be more 50/50 in terms of the total "workload". That means, the guy shouldn't sit on his fat arse while the wife is cleaning dishes since it doesn't take a special female gene to be able to clean dishes. On the other hand, if the guy just killed 3 spiders and is in the middle of replacing muffler bearings or the halogen fluid on the wife's Volvo, then the wife shouldn't expect him to come and help with the irioning right away, just for the sake of "equality". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 ok guys do you really think it's equal? when you get married... guys get ready to make dinner, do the laundry, clean the house, do the dishes, dust, clean the toilet, buy the groceries, sweep the floors, iron your wife's, childrens and your clothes, serve your guests, ALL taking turns... all equaL.......and make sure to make that weekly schedule for which day who will do what! Yes and no - obviously males and females are different - and sometimes do different things - but there still can be equality in the relationship. Hey my wife works a (serious) full time job just like me...so... And yes - I do the (most all the) cooking (though my wife is the baker...), I clean (OK - she does more...), dishes (were pretty even...perhaps she has a slight edgge...but I do the cooking remember?), buy clothes (even...really - we each buy our own ['cept for the naughty stuff! ...thats me! LOL] ...and we both buy for the kids...), clean the toilet and sweep floors...(well we have a maid...LOL) - so even, grocceries (my nearly 100%), serve guests...(OK even - but I get the edge here - since i ussually make the food, and we both set the table together etc...but I ussually put on the show -as it were - LOL)...Oh and I take care of cars, do all gardening and outdoor stuff (lots), cut the lawn, play sports with the kids etc....we both help them with homework 9though I'd giver her the slight edge...I do most all projects and read to/with them more perhaps...) and she (mostly, though not entirely) does the laundry (and I'm not much of an ironer)...hmm...so how is that? Equal enough? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 equal? HAAAAH!!! I cook 4-5 days a week, wash the dishes 4-5 days a week, clean my room, Unlike Thoth I am not rich and don't have a maid so I have to clean the bathroom as well, never iron- anything that should be ironed goes to the cleaners, 95% I buy the groceries, Pay the mechanic to fix the cars as I know nothing about them, pay the bills, pay the mortgage... Nevermind, I for a sec forgot that I am single and there is no one to do all those chores. I need a maid, errr I mean a wife. heheheh (I am just kidding about the maid thing in case few of you did not get it) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 Azat, I can feel your pain. I have never been married (hence my optimism ), but I tried many divorce cases early in my career and I can assure you dating is cheaper than marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 And yes - I do the (most all the) cooking (though my wife is the baker...), I clean (OK - she does more...), dishes (were pretty even...perhaps she has a slight edgge...but I do the cooking remember?), buy clothes (even...really - we each buy our own ['cept for the naughty stuff! ...thats me! LOL] ...and we both buy for the kids...), clean the toilet and sweep floors...(well we have a maid...LOL) - so even, grocceries (my nearly 100%), serve guests...(OK even - but I get the edge here - since i ussually make the food, and we both set the table together etc...but I ussually put on the show -as it were - LOL)...Oh and I take care of cars, do all gardening and outdoor stuff (lots), cut the lawn, play sports with the kids etc....we both help them with homework 9though I'd giver her the slight edge...I do most all projects and read to/with them more perhaps...) and she (mostly, though not entirely) does the laundry (and I'm not much of an ironer)...hmm...so how is that? Equal enough? 'Tis a pity that the one thing you and your wife don't seem to do together is take your holidays together - but I suppose that would cramp your "style". PSCan someone design an "irony" smilie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 'Tis a pity that the one thing you and your wife don't seem to do together is take your holidays together - but I suppose that would cramp your "style". PSCan someone design an "irony" smilie! how do you know that? holidays don't come around every month! it's general lifestyle that we're talking about here... since we're on the subject here i can't ever imagine myself married!! i need to be doing my own thing! don't want to catch someone else's cold or share the same bed forever!!! sometimes you just need some extra room to yourself!! and what if he snores or tosses and turns a lot??, or gets turned on while i am sleeping!! ....i like my independency and emotional peace and security...but, hey i guess for a small % of people, IT ACTUALLY WORKS!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 'Tis a pity that the one thing you and your wife don't seem to do together is take your holidays together - but I suppose that would cramp your "style". PSCan someone design an "irony" smilie! how do you know that? I have to be careful or this post will be erased! Let's just say I recently had reluctantly to put up with hour after hour of Thoth giving example after example of the seemingly unending list of holiday destinations he had been to - almost none of which were with his wife. And, for those that know what happened on that trip, I'm sure that what happened would not have occured if his wife was there, or if there was a risk of his wife finding out about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 i need to be doing my own thing! don't want to catch someone else's cold or share the same bed forever!!! sometimes you just need some extra room to yourself!! and what if he snores or tosses and turns a lot??, or gets turned on while i am sleeping!! You are not really serious are you? If so, then just live in a house with two bedrooms Err, what "thing" would you be doing on your own - naughty girl! I think that having a married couple sharing a bed is actually a relatively new phenomenon. It used to be that a husband and wife each had their own bedrooms, and it wasn't until the coming of industrialisation and cramped housing that married couples began to sleep in the same bed. And, for poor families, all their offspring, male and female would probably share the one remaining bed. And sometimes the younger members of large families didn't even have a bed, but had to sleep in what were actually cupboards. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 I recently visited a plantation house along the mississippi river just outside of New Orleans. I was first of all fascinated to find out how short these french "Cajun" people who populated the area (and built these vast cotton/sugar fortunes + slave empires) were ... everything was small. Chairs, beds, closests ... I felt like a giant walking into a kids doll play house. but the thing which surprised me most was exactly what Steve is talking about. The husband and wife slept in separate bedrooms far away from each other. The husband then made "appointments" with the wife on when they were to "get it on". The other thing was that they NEVER went back to bed during the day ... not even for a nap. They have these fairly uncomfortable looking chairs for rests during the day. And of course with no air conditioning and that unbelievable humid heat and the mosquitos, I don't know how they did anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 In Sweden back in old times they use to put the national flag waving proudly above the house every time the couple were getting intimate. That was used as a sign to neighbors and friends not to be disturbed during their love period. And those were Husband and Wife! No Armenian would survive such a lifestyle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted September 29, 2003 Report Share Posted September 29, 2003 what I'm saying is "equality" doesn't have to be 50/50 with respect to EACH chore, but should be more 50/50 in terms of the total "workload". That means, the guy shouldn't sit on his fat arse while the wife is cleaning dishes since it doesn't take a special female gene to be able to clean dishes. On the other hand, if the guy just killed 3 spiders and is in the middle of replacing muffler bearings or the halogen fluid on the wife's Volvo, then the wife shouldn't expect him to come and help with the irioning right away, just for the sake of "equality". yes yes, add to this list also reading newspapers and watching TV that must be done by men Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted September 30, 2003 Report Share Posted September 30, 2003 (edited) hmmm. this is nice... men cooking, cleaning, I guess you all surprised me, pleasantly of course. You men are the exception, a rare expection existing in the Armenian community. its hardly ever 50/50... it's hardly ever black and white... it's hardly ever equal. Men will do chores, chores like taking out the trash, carrying heavy objects, and a few other minimal things.... women will tend to take on the more "feminine" tasks. I'm talking about the MAJORITY... you guys seem to be a rare minority... where are u guys from??? lol where can we find more like you? 50/50 sounds wonderful... it would be so perfect if it existed between all couples... but hey, nothing's ever perfect. Edited September 30, 2003 by BitterSweet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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