Accelerated Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 Suggestions, comments, paying-out and other forms of ridicule in here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 you can have mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 Just get another laptop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 Next time you are at one of those parties, drink more sensibly, stay away from drugs, dress more stylish (just a bit), make eye contact with a few of the hotties (yah, you heard me, and yes, they are watching in ways you will never understand) and TALK to them. Anything. Don't be overly aggressive. Don't be rude. Don't be shy. Don't be affraid to make a fool of yourself but you are naturally good at that Yah you will get shot down ... sometimes you will be rediculed ... sometimes quick and painful ... sometimes slow and painful ... but you'd be surprised at what can happen. ... and always keeps this in mind ... almost everyone there is there to see and be seen. Unless they are there with a significant other (steady boyfriend, husband, etc), they really basically are there for why you are there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 By the way, I only used those parties as an example ... I personally dislike the atmosphere (and often the types of people) that show up to these places and on top of that how they act ... there is this level of fakitude that I just can't stand. But you're living in a University enviornment Just look around! There are many people and are just asking to be talked to but you have to look at the signs. If you see a girl sitting at the campus coffee shop with her head into the books quickly taking notes ... stay away ... she's got something due and she'll punch you in the face if she could if you try to get between her and the deadline! If you see a girl sitting in a public place "reading" ... just pay attention. If every few seconds her eyes start to wonder around, she ain't reading CHIT! Now you'll be lucky if she's reading something you are familiar with but that NEVER happened to me so I can't help you there. So all I'm saying is ... as a general rule of thumb ... people who sit in coffee shops ... people who "study" in libraries ... people who are just hanging around public places are not there just to drink coffee or to study. Heck I've tried the library "study" thing myself at UCLA when I was young. It just doesn't work. Your eyes inevitably start to wonder ... of course that changes when there is a test or deadline in an hour but those types of people are very easy to spot and avoid. Hope what I'm saying is clear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 You can do all that Sip has suggested or can just switch hands. (sorry jugs, I know I am an idiot) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 (edited) ....or get one of those druncards. If you don't want to spent too much money for drinks, go late...say 11.30 and just watch them. There is only one negative side effect...they might puke in your car... yuk Edited September 23, 2003 by gamavor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
America-Hye Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 Juggs,Sip has given you some GOOD suggestions. HEY, I am an old man wh ois taking college courses. You can not believe how these young co-eds are. I catch them looking all the time and smiling too. If an old man can get these opening gestures, why shouldn't you? It all has to do with attutude, dude. I think that you may have some work to do in that realm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 follow ALL that sip says (he really is a relationship expert in disguise! )...but he forgot one thing!!!!! AFTER you start talking to her and established some common ground, don't forget to do this...and you HAVE TO DO IT RIGHT!!! OTHERWISE IT'S COUNTERPRODUCTIVE!!!! just say in a very sexy way "how you doin' ?" ..........grrrrr, if said right, at the right time,and hopefully by the right person, it can do wonders!!! good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nairi Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 If you want to be in a productive relationship, you're better off being very good friends first. Don't flirt and don't look for friendship. If it comes in your way, take it as a gift and cherish it. If it's meant to be, the friendship will grow by itself, and before you know it, you'll be intimate. Don't go into a relationship thinking of the end result, because the end result will be the end. If you want a long-lasting relationship, you need a strong basis first, and that basis cannot possibly be based on flirting, which is in its essence lying only to impress. Be yourself and allow her to be herself. That is the person you'll potentially be spending the rest of your life with, not the one who perked herself up to impress you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted September 23, 2003 Report Share Posted September 23, 2003 (edited) wow nairi - I really liked that...so young, yet so wise! LOL And none of you yungins have any comment at all about the two long posts I made in the other Love & Romance thread? (discussing relationships, marraige & havng kids & all that...) - am I so out of it/distanced from all of you that nothng I said had any impact/made any sense? LOL http://armenians.com/forum/index.php?showt...wtopic=7097&hl= Edited September 23, 2003 by THOTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted September 24, 2003 Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 hmmmm, i don't know!! can't be too serious from the getgo!! if you can't flirt with your mate and become his/her fantasy...someone else WILL!! that's just human nature ~~~ doesn't imply that any 'playing' is going on or that you're being immature!~~ just that two people are enjoying each other's company~~~ you can always have your more serious/relationship talks during daytime! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 you can have mine. ....I hope your interpretation of 'girlfriend' is not the same as Azat. or can just switch hands. ....been done, results were rather unsatisfactory! ....or get one of those druncards. Gams, I said girlfriend, not a drunk/drugged bimbo for one night stand....where is your sense of achievement? Sip, agreed with most you have said, just a couple of things.... dress more stylish (just a bit) I dont think you can talk buddy they really basically are there for why you are there. Dont think your right, I think most people are at parties simply to have fun, and if they pick up/get picked up - thats just a bonus. But yeah most people are just there to enjoi music, have a few drinks, have fun with friends etc. people who "study" in libraries ... people who are just hanging around public places are not there just to drink coffee or to study. I dont know man...... he really is a relationship expert in disguise! Yeah....maybe HE wrote that 'Complete A**holes Guide to Dating' and was covertly advertising it. If you want to be in a productive relationship, you're better off being very good friends first. Yes, Nairi this is the crux of my problem. I only got a couple of girlfriends (not close) havnt seen them in ages. Most my friends have g/fs but I only see their friends on big occasions: b'days etc. So this basically means, I gotto make friends with/pick up a complete stranger. That in itself is easier said than done, then there are issues of compatibility, etc. If you want a long-lasting relationship, you need a strong basis first, and that basis cannot possibly be based on flirting, which is in its essence lying only to impress. Be yourself and allow her to be herself. This isnt a problem , I really am a pretty terrible actor/liar. So even if I wanted to, I couldnt lie and act someone other than myself, so I dont bother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 24, 2003 Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 Juggy I thought you were joking? Are you really in need of a girlfriend? Common! Dude, be careful. It is a wild world over there? Sip is right for many things I will just point out some technical issues. Pay close attention! 1. Don't pay the "bill" more than 3 times. She needs to learn how to share things in life. If you both are broke and she still wants to see you that is a good sign. 2. Do not insist on having sex even after the third date. 3. Introduce her to all your friends. 4. Don't talk about previous relationships unless she inquires. 5. Invite her after the first date to a pool party or water world.... anyway something related to less clothes and more flash, to see weather the efforts will pay off. More will follow... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 Are you really in need of a girlfriend? Yeah....sometimes! Everything you have said is all well and good, but I am smart enough to know what MY problem is, just too lazy to rectify. I thought a topic like this would be fun for all: sort of like Waterworld Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 24, 2003 Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 I dont think you can talk buddyYah but to my defense, I ain't the one looking for a girlfriend. About parties ... sure there are ALL kinds of people. I don't think I should have generalized even in this case. That's why you have to learn to watch for the signs. And if a girl is interested, most often she'll find a way to let you know. It won't be very obvious so you have to be on the alert. On a related funny note which is kind of unrelated, a couple of months ago, back in LA this not too bad looking blond almost made a right turn into a guy that had stopped to pull into the gas station cause she couldn't take her eyes off of me (I was in the left turn lane waiting for the light). She was making a right into the same street as me. I'm in the opposite direction waiting to make a left (red light). As soon as she started to turn (obviously not looking to where she is going) I had to point to the front of her car and that's when she slammed on the breaks just in time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 ....for example: I am going out tonight (a fact) with a couple of friends and their g/fs. This isnt a problem for me, but a couple other people (hint: girls) would probably prefer if I turned up with a partner too.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 24, 2003 Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 By the way, I just want to clarify that my main area of expertise is computers and to a certain extent 4x4's, GM trucks, and offroad vehicles. So just keep that in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 24, 2003 Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 ....for example: I am going out tonight (a fact) with a couple of friends and their g/fs. This isnt a problem for me, but a couple other people (hint: girls) would probably prefer if I turned up with a partner too.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH ... RED LIGHT. That's the number one red flag sign. Do NOT do it because of external pressure. It's YOUR life, YOU decide what YOU want. That's the one thing I can tell you that I believe with every fiber of my being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 I ain't the one looking for a girlfriend. Who said anything about looking: I just need one sometimes (or maybe its my imagination ). Probably coz I put so much effort (and thought) into ensnaring this girl from uni, and it didnt get anywhere and NOW I feel like punching someones teeth in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 Do NOT do it because of external pressure. It's YOUR life, YOU decide what YOU want. Nah, I couldnt care less what they thought, BUT its not as if Im marrying someone now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 cause she couldn't take her eyes off of me Must have been that sleeveless blue/yellow shirt of yours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 24, 2003 Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 The only way you can have a real relationship with a woman is if you both have common interests. That is the best advice I can give you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 24, 2003 Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 Must have been that sleeveless blue/yellow shirt of yours Hahahah .. that shirt is famous!!! Even people I don't know sometimes refer to that shirt And to think I bought it for $2 a few years ago Yah, the kinds of things you have to do as a poor grad student Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted September 24, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2003 That is the best advice I can give you. Frankly, I didnt start this topic to get advice. I am very much aware of my 'deficiencies' and am not activelly looking for a relationship: its just that, sometimes it would be great to have a girlfriend who you've been with for a while and really enjoy her company. Honestly, if I wanted a girlfriend just for the sake of having one, I could start dating someone tommorow. Wether I would enjoy myself in the process is of course a different question (knowing the girl, I know I wouldnt). The other factor is the amount of fun I have with my friends, meaning a relationship would have to be really special for me to say: "OK, tonight my friends are going out to ......, but I would rather spend some time with my g/f" etc. You get the drift....I hope. Thanks for all the advice anyway, escpessially nairi....nice post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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