Sip Posted June 18, 2007 Report Share Posted June 18, 2007 Ahhh the problems of a society with no social norms and a population (for the most part) turned into debt slaves... And then they criticize countries that do have social norms (e.g. Muslims from country X or traditional Western Armenians or ROA Armenians or Iranian Armenians). Turns out there's no correlation between GDP and the happiness of a population, after all. Social norms help secure relationships, so that it's not that much of a "risk" when one chooses his/her life partner. It also helps in relationships to be free (i.e. not a couple who are both debt slaves)... What does this have to do with anything here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted June 19, 2007 Report Share Posted June 19, 2007 Yes Azat, I believe time can't really tell. As the couple are dating for a long time, making sure that they are compatible, their lives are going by. We're not immortal and everything has its time. Nowadays women are waking up and realizing that they can't have children because they've waited too long, or that they find out that having a child in their forties is really hard and costs lots of money. Life is such that we have to take risks. There are no guarantees and the only guarantee is that by taking risks one gets more out of life. I agree with you. As women's biological clock is constantly ticking; women have to weigh their precious time and put a time limit to their dating. In one complete year a couple can learn a great deal from each other if the other person is well suited to be their fitting spouse or not. For this, women have to take charge and limit the dating process to one year. If they are very much in love then it would be hard to end the relationship; but a women has to be loved to. If the guy is not reciprocating her love then the guy is obviously not worth it, and if he loves her dearly then he should give in to marrying her. Unless there are other problems such as money, going to college, etc. Even then, they can live humbly for a while, but marry each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shahan Araradian Posted June 19, 2007 Report Share Posted June 19, 2007 Are you joking? Then why in God's dirty pasture did he date the girl for 3 years only to mislead her? Այս ասացուածքները ուրտեղէ՞ն կը գտնաս... Հարցումին պատասխանը.. Մէկ պատճառը՝ շուառած ըլլալ եւ ուզել տարբեր բաներ փորձել: Ուրիշ պատճառ մըն ալ կայ որ ուրիշներ վէրը ներկայացուցած են: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted June 19, 2007 Report Share Posted June 19, 2007 (edited) Այս ասացուածքները ուրտեղէ՞ն կը գտնաս... Հարցումին պատասխանը.. Մէկ պատճառը՝ շուառած ըլլալ եւ ուզել տարբեր բաներ փորձել: Ուրիշ պատճառ մըն ալ կայ որ ուրիշներ վէրը ներկայացուցած են: I refuse to believe this was anything other than a case of the parents. Now, whatever his tastes, he should have known himself better than that. I personally know I just want to marry an Armenian. Therefore I would not falsely mislead a non-Armenian into a committment knowing I will dump them later. Maybe I'm only one given the gift knowing what I want. If I want to just bang bang bang, I let the girl know I just want to bang bang bang. If I want to be a Don Juan, I let the girl know I want to be a Don Juan. If I want to be committed I let em know. I'm a bit like George W. Bush in that in whatever I want, you are either with me, or against me. This guy was full of crap. I will bet he knew full well how is parents were and he knew he could not do a God damned thing about it. His options were either a) stand up to his parents and sever ties with them for the sake of love, or (b.) continue to crawl under their shadow and give in. He chose the latter. Therefore, he's a *** and good riddens. Why would anyone want a confused guy like that to begin with? Edited June 19, 2007 by Anonymouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted June 19, 2007 Report Share Posted June 19, 2007 I refuse to believe this was anything other than a case of the parents. Now, whatever his tastes, he should have known himself better than that. I personally know I just want to marry an Armenian. Therefore I would not falsely mislead a non-Armenian into a committment knowing I will dump them later. Maybe I'm only one given the gift knowing what I want. If I want to just bang bang bang, I let the girl know I just want to bang bang bang. If I want to be a Don Juan, I let the girl know I want to be a Don Juan. If I want to be committed I let em know. I'm a bit like George W. Bush in that in whatever I want, you are either with me, or against me. This guy was full of crap. I will bet he knew full well how is parents were and he knew he could not do a God damned thing about it. His options were either a) stand up to his parents and sever ties with them for the sake of love, or (b.) continue to crawl under their shadow and give in. He chose the latter. Therefore, he's a *** and good riddens. Why would anyone want a confused guy like that to begin with? Dear Anon; you are my kind of a human being. What I mean is that you are completely honest, kind, with a great head on your shoulders and the Armenian girl that you'll be around for future marriage, etc. etc. should be honored to be your wife. I can only say that the only other guy I know who acted very honorably and honest with himself and/or with girls was and is my great brother. Kuddos for the both of you!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted June 21, 2007 Report Share Posted June 21, 2007 Dear Anon; you are my kind of a human being. What I mean is that you are completely honest, kind, with a great head on your shoulders and the Armenian girl that you'll be around for future marriage, etc. etc. should be honored to be your wife. I can only say that the only other guy I know who acted very honorably and honest with himself and/or with girls was and is my great brother. Kuddos for the both of you!!!! Honesty is the best policy! Deception is second best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karnoug Posted June 23, 2007 Report Share Posted June 23, 2007 Even though I love my culture and am very proud of it, we are however very racist. I am in hopes that this will change eventually. I met my soulmate 13 years ago in college, but he knew upfront that nothing would come of the relationship because of race. We remain to this day soulmates, though we are not together and we never see each other. It was my choice, yes, and I fully take responsibility for my choice; however, bottom line remains that I chose my family and culture over my soulmate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted June 23, 2007 Report Share Posted June 23, 2007 Even though I love my culture and am very proud of it, we are however very racist. I am in hopes that this will change eventually. I met my soulmate 13 years ago in college, but he knew upfront that nothing would come of the relationship because of race. We remain to this day soulmates, though we are not together and we never see each other. It was my choice, yes, and I fully take responsibility for my choice; however, bottom line remains that I chose my family and culture over my soulmate. May I ask you kindly as to why you chose your family and culture? Once you answer this question I think you will find that the word "racist" is a bit harsh. I think preservation would sound better, if we were 40 or 50 million in numbers this would not have been an issue. I know for a fact that Armenians treat odars pretty well. BTW karnoug welcome to Hyeforum and continue posting please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Takoush Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 Even though I love my culture and am very proud of it, we are however very racist. I am in hopes that this will change eventually. I met my soulmate 13 years ago in college, but he knew upfront that nothing would come of the relationship because of race. We remain to this day soulmates, though we are not together and we never see each other. It was my choice, yes, and I fully take responsibility for my choice; however, bottom line remains that I chose my family and culture over my soulmate. I chose my nationality over soulmate and love also and I met a great many valuable and great odar guys who pursued me constantly wherever I worked and I always turned them down; because I had to marry with an Armenian. Sacrifice? Yes I did sacrifice; but like Yervant said if we were 40 or 50 million and were not annihilated perhaps we would not worry about preserving so much our nationality today, but the way things are, we have to. I wanted to continue my race, my nationality too. I had to. Karnoug, I don't say it's racist as I do not see a great many guys and sometimes girls sacrificing themselves and their love to marry with an Armenian. Even in my generation I have seen numerous Armenian guys marrying with French Canadian girls in Canada, and today also in the U.S. The newer generation continues that trend of assymilating and not worrying about a thing for the preservation of their nationality. It is sad for me to see that, very sad; but what can we do? This should be the job of every Armenian parent to educate their offsprings not to weaken and to preserve their nationality by marrying with an Armenian spouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karnoug Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 I chose my nationality over soulmate and love also and I met a great many valuable and great odar guys who pursued me constantly wherever I worked and I always turned them down; because I had to marry with an Armenian. Sacrifice? Yes I did sacrifice; but like Yervant said if we were 40 or 50 million and were not annihilated perhaps we would not worry about preserving so much our nationality today, but the way things are, we have to. I wanted to continue my race, my nationality too. I had to. Karnoug, I don't say it's racist as I do not see a great many guys and sometimes girls sacrificing themselves and their love to marry with an Armenian. Even in my generation I have seen numerous Armenian guys marrying with French Canadian girls in Canada, and today also in the U.S. The newer generation continues that trend of assymilating and not worrying about a thing for the preservation of their nationality. It is sad for me to see that, very sad; but what can we do? This should be the job of every Armenian parent to educate their offsprings not to weaken and to preserve their nationality by marrying with an Armenian spouse. Thank you Anahid for your response. Obviously I too am of the same sound of mind to preserve our heritage, culture, and nationality, otherwise I would not have made the choice that I made. Though to be completely honest both with you and with myself, the family and community pressures did play a variable role in my decision. Aside from that, I still do stand by my statement that our culture is racist. I am of course stereotyping, there are always exceptions. However, when there are no odars within earshot, or the Armenian spouses of an odar, our people speak crudely about them. The racist and demeaning words to describe Latinos, Asian, Blacks are freely expressed. I have had many conversations trying to drive my point accross to such persons. I've tried to explain that of all the people on this Earth, we Armenians should never forget where discrimination leads to; that we should never forget the pain and lasting scars such judgements cause other human beings, and ultimately how it deteriorates the soul of the racist himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anoushik Posted June 24, 2007 Report Share Posted June 24, 2007 when there are no odars within earshot, or the Armenian spouses of an odar, our people speak crudely about them. The racist and demeaning words to describe Latinos, Asian, Blacks are freely expressed. I have had many conversations trying to drive my point accross to such persons. I've tried to explain that of all the people on this Earth, we Armenians should never forget where discrimination leads to; that we should never forget the pain and lasting scars such judgements cause other human beings, and ultimately how it deteriorates the soul of the racist himself. Hello Karnoug, welcome to Hyeforum I think that you're right that Armenians speak crudely of other cultures but I don't think it really qualifies as racism. If it is racism then 100% of the world's population is racist. In my experience a representative of some culture openly speaks crudely of another culture as long a member of the other culture is not around. An example is a business neighbor next door who's Japanese. Every chance he gets he wants to remind me that the rest of the business neighbors are Chinese and they have no manners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 Even though I love my culture and am very proud of it, we are however very racist. I am in hopes that this will change eventually. I met my soulmate 13 years ago in college, but he knew upfront that nothing would come of the relationship because of race. We remain to this day soulmates, though we are not together and we never see each other. It was my choice, yes, and I fully take responsibility for my choice; however, bottom line remains that I chose my family and culture over my soulmate. So anyone who seeks the self-preservation of their race and culture is automatically racist? So then there is nothing one can do short of consciously diluting oneself and seeking non-Armenians, that won't be interpreted as racist. You need to reconsider the logic of your argument, or rather, the lack of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karnoug Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 So anyone who seeks the self-preservation of their race and culture is automatically racist? So then there is nothing one can do short of consciously diluting oneself and seeking non-Armenians, that won't be interpreted as racist. You need to reconsider the logic of your argument, or rather, the lack of it. please read the posts following that one to get a better prespective, insight, and explanation of my views and statements. thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 please read the posts following that one to get a better prespective, insight, and explanation of my views and statements. thank you Quiet you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karnoug Posted June 27, 2007 Report Share Posted June 27, 2007 Quiet you. ok, but only because you said so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eva Posted June 30, 2007 Report Share Posted June 30, 2007 Hi Everyone, I entered this forum in hopes that all of you guys and girls would have a better perspective for me in my situation. I'm hoping someone can help me make sense of things and help heal a really really broken heart. For the past 3 years, I have been in an interracial relationship with my boyfriend (who is of Armenian descent). I myself, am not Armenian, but of Asian descent. We recently broke up because of "irreconcilable issues" which to this day, I still do not know what they are. In the beginning as all relationships are, everything was great and we were together for a good amount of time each week. As the years progressed, I met everyone except for the two people I should have met... the parents. I have always been open for him to attend my family functions etc.. but he always seemed put off by that fact. As more time passed, I've been noticing that he always spent more time with his friends than he did with me. His friends even asked me why he doesn't bring me around and I really don't know what to say. I got really nervous a month ago (the day we broke up) and I checked his email out of curiosity. I was shocked (but not too shocked) to see a bunch of emails referring to an Armenian dating site. He caught me in the act, but at the same time, I felt as if I caught him red handed too. I asked him about the site and he told me it was just something his friends said was cool to join... around a year ago! (that's how far the emails date back). He told me it wasn't his thing, but my point is, he wouldn't have made an entire profile up if he wasn't hoping to meet a new girlfriend of the same nationality. I asked if he was happy and he said no... I asked why and he said he "didn't know." He said there are issues that can't be resolved and I asked him what issues... but he couldn't name anything specific- he said he just "knew". He said he wanted to take a break for now. So in the end of that night, I basically couldn't be with someone who didn't want to be with me.. someone who's dragged me along for too long if he really couldn't accept me for who I am. I guess the whole point of the this story is, he tells me that he loves me for 3 years, but this happens. I know that he has never dated an Armenian girl before and I know there are certain levels that I do not know how to connect with him on, and he has that yearning to date his own culture. But I on the other hand, have dated my own culture and have had more problems in that relationship than I did in this one... I truly loved this person regardless of nationality and was open to communication- the whole nine yards. In the end, I ended up with this broken heart which I'm still trying to heal.. but it's only been a month since the breakup. I understand that it is probably deeper to date someone in your own culture.. but doesn't true love count for anything anymore? Does anyone have words of wisdom for me? Thank you!!! I am really sorry for what happened to you, but do you really think that he( the guy you used to date) feels the same way as you do,, You are feeling sad and trying to find answers for this whole situation, I am not trying to seem harsh on you, but do you really think he thinks and worries about this situation the way you do,, you are young and I am sure will have happy life with a person who will really love you and adore you,, so move on and be happy ,, I really had bad times in my life too, but never gave up on it,, so cheer up.. good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kouklitsa Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 (edited) I am very sorry about your situation. I felt I might have had the same problem with my current boyfriend, but I am actually accepted because I guess I am a better fit for his family than his Colombian girlfriend. His mother refused to speak to him or be around him until he dumped her. So, guess what...he rebelled a little while and then dumped her. I am not Armenian but I date an Armenian. My parents are Greeks from Trapouzia (mom is from Rize). I know Greek have no problems with Armenian - just if I date a Turk! I could bring home a black guy faster - and trust me, I wouldn't bring home a black guy unless I just had a death wish. I did date a Turk once. He was one of my best relationships ever. Scary, right?! My Armo boy is a good boy, too. Armenian guys are like Greek guys but not as cheap on dates and better in the sack. Edited July 18, 2007 by Kouklitsa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 Armenian guys are like Greek guys but not as cheap on dates and better in the sack. There is a bottle of wine for you waiting to be shipped! Welcome to the Funny Farm! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 In my experience, it's useless to tell women what to do with their romantic situations, they never listen. If most of my girlfriends would listen to me they would be in much better relationships and situations overall. He cheats on you, you catch him, he begs for forgiveness, you get back together, you find out that while he is with you he has a baby with another woman, you break up and get back together. 2 years of this and counting, and you complain to others, and say "Yes you are right, it makes sense" but insist on doing the same thing. He disrespects you, dominates, insults, disinterested, completely self involved and overly self important, bad communication and in need of a psychologist to help you in that area. You are young, very attractive, make good money and can have better prospects, but you still go one with the wedding plans. And the list of stories goes on.... I can write a book. Egh, I am fed up with giving advice or feeling sorry. I refuse to pity people, if you don't like it change your situation. If you can't condition or control your mind, someone else will and it will not be a good thing. There is nothing worse than spending 3 hours several times and talking about the same darn subject over and over again, and then poof like nothing has ever been said. People essentially do what they want to do and then complain... You know I find it funny, when the situation gets so bad, that they have to just conceal the actions and try to make excuses. "He forgot my birthday, but you know he is usually very good, last year he took my car to the carwash on my birthday!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karnoug Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 In my experience, it's useless to tell women what to do with their romantic situations, they never listen. If most of my girlfriends would listen to me they would be in much better relationships and situations overall. He cheats on you, you catch him, he begs for forgiveness, you get back together, you find out that while he is with you he has a baby with another woman, you break up and get back together. 2 years of this and counting, and you complain to others, and say "Yes you are right, it makes sense" but insist on doing the same thing. He disrespects you, dominates, insults, disinterested, completely self involved and overly self important, bad communication and in need of a psychologist to help you in that area. You are young, very attractive, make good money and can have better prospects, but you still go one with the wedding plans. And the list of stories goes on.... I can write a book. Egh, I am fed up with giving advice or feeling sorry. I refuse to pity people, if you don't like it change your situation. If you can't condition or control your mind, someone else will and it will not be a good thing. There is nothing worse than spending 3 hours several times and talking about the same darn subject over and over again, and then poof like nothing has ever been said. People essentially do what they want to do and then complain... You know I find it funny, when the situation gets so bad, that they have to just conceal the actions and try to make excuses. "He forgot my birthday, but you know he is usually very good, last year he took my car to the carwash on my birthday!" Anileve, I complete feel you! It just amazes me how short sighted some women can be. They are so afraid of being alone that they'd rather put up with losers and eat up their lies. My prayer for these girls is to see their worth and stop selling themselves short. But as you said, nothing makes a difference, they will do what they want at the end anyway... The sadest part is that they make the wrong decisions KNOWINGLY! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 I understand what you guys are saying, but is there such a thing as the perfect guy? No just as there is no such thing as the perfect lady. As long as they love each other then everything will work out at the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DominO123 Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 Anileve, I complete feel you! It just amazes me how short sighted some women can be. They are so afraid of being alone that they'd rather put up with losers and eat up their lies. My prayer for these girls is to see their worth and stop selling themselves short. But as you said, nothing makes a difference, they will do what they want at the end anyway... The sadest part is that they make the wrong decisions KNOWINGLY! It is not that simple, this behavior is the result of evolution. Men like that have some positive genes, and the only reason those genes survived was because of a combination of genes which gave some phyisical and behavioral characteristic which attracted certain type of women. It is a coevolutioary behavior. Which means that the being actually cheated ignored is one of the characteristics which will attract in a specific group of women. So it is not only being afraid to be alone, as it is unlikely that those subset of women will fall in love with a man who always care for her, remember her birthdays, doesn't cheat etc. If anything it is the man who will look like the disasperate in that case, so from both spectrum he'll be the looser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeLaLa Posted July 19, 2007 Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 If anything it is the man who will look like the disasperate in that case, so from both spectrum he'll be the looser. that is simply a complex armenian men have (ive only seen this complex in usa and canada armenians i must add) . on my many trips to america or canada i discovered very fast that armenian men there have this absolut horror of somehow looking as a looser . i rarely met men who acted natural and were just themselves ... its all a show ... with a sad fassade behind it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kouklitsa Posted July 21, 2007 Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 There is a bottle of wine for you waiting to be shipped! Welcome to the Funny Farm! Gamavor --- it's an inside secret that you have to be crazy to actually WANT TO BE with anyone from our part of the world! Anyone whose people spent time in Asia Minor are all a little touched in the head. I think our poor, heartbroken love got the better end of the deal leaving the drama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kouklitsa Posted July 21, 2007 Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 that is simply a complex armenian men have (ive only seen this complex in usa and canada armenians i must add) . on my many trips to america or canada i discovered very fast that armenian men there have this absolut horror of somehow looking as a looser . i rarely met men who acted natural and were just themselves ... its all a show ... with a sad fassade behind it . Ah the "complex"! The facade usually takes shape as a complex that involves driving a black Audi or silver Acura, wearing lotsa gold and having overwhelming chest hair peeping out from beneath their shirt, etc...??? I could write a novel about the "complex". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.