MJ

THE GIFT OF LIFE submitted by Amber Tozer On the very first day, God created the cow. He said to the cow, "Today I have created you! As a cow, you must go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the sun! I will give you a life span of 50 years." The cow objected, "What? This kind of tough life you want me to live for 50 years? Let me have 20 years, and the 30 years I'll give back to you." So God agreed. On the second day, God created the dog. God said to the dog, "What you are supposed to do is to sit all day by the door of your house. Any people that come in, you will have to bark at them! I'll give a life span of 20 years." The dog objected, "What? All day long to sit by the door? No way! I give you back my other 10 years of life!" So God agreed. On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to the monkey, "Monkeys have to entertain people. You've got to make them laugh and do monkey tricks. I'll give you 20 years life span." The monkey objected. "What? Make them laugh? Do monkey faces and tricks? Ten years will do, and the other 10 years I'll give you back." So God agreed. On the fourth day, God created man and said to him, "Your job is to sleep, eat, and play. You will enjoy very much in your life. All you need to do is to enjoy and do nothing. This kind of life, I'll give you a 20 year life span." The man objected. "What? Such a good life! Eat, play, sleep, do nothing? Enjoy the best and you expect me to live only for 20 years? No way, man!....Why don't we make a deal? Since the cow gave you back 30 years, and the dog gave you back 10 years and the monkey gave you back 10 years, I will take them from you! That makes my life span 70 years, right?" So God agreed. AND THAT'S WHY.... In our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy the best and do nothing much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long, suffer and get to support the family. For the next 10 years, we entertain our grandchildren by making monkey faces and monkey tricks. And for the last 10 years, we stay at home, sit by the front door and bark at people!

Alpha, I think we both are saying pretty much the same thing.

quote:Originally posted by Sulamita: Well, it IS a historical building. The course of history changed in that building. Also, compared to the length of its existence (as American land) that buliding is one of the oldest (ie. historic) landmarks. I don't know. Personally I loved Phily ... as a historic city with beautiful architecture. I would never live there though I also remember seeing the statue of Mher, dedicated to the victims of the Genocide. I think it was in the garden of one of the museums. Do you know the exact location? The building(s) in downtown Philadelphia is (are) a classic example(s) of Masonic architecture. The museum is the one of Art of Philadelphia, and there is a small memorial commemorating the victims of Armenian Genocide near the museum. This is also the museum in the area of which the hero of the movie "Rocky" starts his jogging – this is what every Philadelphian giving you a tour brags about.

quote:Originally posted by bellthecat: Levon, you (or rather your father ) is wrong to say that Kurds and Armenians have lived together for thousands of years - most of the Kurdish population of eastern Turkey are recent arrivals: from the late medieval period or even later. Steve I agree with Steve. Kurds have been settled in the region by Shah Abas to change the regional demographics. This has one of the most devastating things for the future Armenian independence.

I have seen him talk, once. Very interesting man!

Good topic, Ara. And welcome to the Forum. Hope you and others will enjoy your tenure. It is obvious that the problem has existed, and it still exists to a large degree. I mean the tribalism. It is also an interesting observation, I think to notice that our last two Kingdoms, outside the Cilician context, have been run by Bagratunis and Ardzrunis. It would be a deviation from the original topic, I think, to analyze what a perfect opportunity have Ardzrunis and Bagratunis had at the time to restore our independence and Armenia's place under the sun. However, I somewhat disagree that the problem in our hands had much to do with the Jewish or Assyrian origins of the two dynasties. Similarly for Mamigonians. Perhaps, after generations of marriages with Armenians, and generations of “public service,” they were fully Armenianized. I don’t think that their policies or attitudes towards Armenia have been any worse than those of other nobility – of purely Armenian origin. I conjecture that the problem of tribalism is resulted from the role and the function of the Armenian Church in our history. The Church has become the axis of national identity, and has neutralized the national self-consciousness of independent and stable statehood. As a matter of fact, the Church has significantly benefited from the absence of the statehood. Under those circumstances, while not being driven by the motivation of establishing a dominant statehood, why should’ve Ardzrunis and Bagratunis united. Each of them has been satisfied with what his side has possessed. "It's better to be first here, than the second in Rome." I don’t think that they could've not tolerated the other’s superiority. Those issues might’ve easily been resolved in old days through political marriages, for example. There was no urge to unite – as simple as that. The national identity of Armenians was defined by the belonging to the Church, and the Church was unified in their times. The rest was a feudalistic category. I think this has been the primary problem of Armenians throughout history. It is present even today – Western vs. Eastern Armenian, Gorisetsi vs. Gyumretsi, Echmiadznakan vs. Antilliasian, Dashnaktsakan vs. Ramkavar, Beirutsi vs. Hayastantsi, etc. What is the unifying concept that has to bring us together? This is what has to be crystallized, in my view. If the axis of unification is not there, what are we going to unify around, and why? I suspect this topic is going to become a subject of prolonged discussions in our Forum. So good luck to all, and patience and tolerance. [ March 08, 2001: Message edited by: MJ ]

Aharon, I would've voted exactly the same way you did.

quote:Originally posted by Aghmug: Either Italian or Armenian. In either case: Yeah. Now iI am on their mailing list.

Three barn builders, one from North Dakota, one from Illinois and one from New York, were at a convention. On the flight home, their plane crashed and they found themselves at the Pearly Gates. When St. Peter found out what they did for a living he was overjoyed. "You fellows are just in time," he said. "Heaven needs some repairs our stairway is a little rickety and we could use some new cloud-launching ramps. Why don't each of you give me a bid on what it would cost." The first contractor, from North Dakota, said it would cost $3,000 for the job. St. Peter asked him to break down the figures so he could understand them. The North Dakotan said $1,000 was for labor, $1,000 for materials and $1,000 for overhead and profit. The Illinois contractor's bid was $6,000, with the same breakdown divided into $2,000 chunks. The contractor from New York turned in his bid. It was for $9,000. St. Peter said it seemed high compared with the others and wanted to know how the Big Apple builder hot his figures. "It's easy, St. Peter," he said "It comes out to $3.000 for you, $3,000 for me, and we hire the guy from North Dakota $3,000 to get the job done. _______________________________________ Got any good FarmJokes? Send em to me! Ranchhand@Farmjokes.com _______________________________________ Question (MJ): What was the ethnic background of the New Yorker?

DIVORCE WHISPERER submitted by Frankie Johnstone A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."

SOUL SEARCHING A drunken fisherman stumbled upon a baptisimal service at the river where he fished and walked out in the water to where the minister stood. The minister turned to the drunk and said, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus ?" The drunk looks at the preacher and says, "Ya Rev, I sure am." The minister then dunks the fellow under the water, pulls him up asking, "Have you found Jesus ?" The drunk replies, "No." So the preacher dunks him a bit longer, pulls him up and again asks, "Did you find Jesus ? To the drunks reply of No, the minister gets disgusted, pushes the man under the water for about 30 seconds, pulls him up and asks in a harsh voice, "Now, my good man, have you found Jesus yet ?" The old fisherman wipes his eyes, spits out some water and says to the minister, " NO, and are you sure this is where he fell in ?"

INTO THE LIGHT In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man... It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor. The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"

Yes, you are right, Now that you brought it up, I remeber the boycott of the Moscow Olympics by the USA, first.

I am sure there is a solution to it. Garo may perhaps make proper recommendations.

Artyom, Welcome to the forum. Your posting is a good start. We all hope that the interaction with you would educate all of us in a variety of visual arts.

Eastern jewels in Christianity's crown Treasures from the Ark: 1700 Years of Armenian Christian Art 5stars The British Library's display of Armenia's cultural riches is a revelation, writes Michael Church Tuesday, 6th March 2001 The Scotsman British Library, London SAY what you like about Robin Cook, it was none the less highly appropriate that he should be the man to launch the British Library's new exhibition of Armenian Christian treasures last Friday. For as political good causes go, this one hits the jackpot: a desperately poor country, desperately keen to join forces with the West, with a desperately unhappy recent past. Only Turkey remains in denial about the Turkish genocide which despatched millions of Armenians in 1915, and which propelled most of the survivors to seek refuge abroad. The Armenian diaspora predated the post-Holocaust Jewish one, and gave Hitler his evil idea. This is why Armenians are such a strong cultural force in France, California, Australia, Russia and Lebanon - not to mention Portugal and Britain, where Calouste Gulbenkian's foundation lives on through its cultural works. That "ian" in the name is the give-away link: think of singer Cathy Berberian, novelist William Saroyan and Garbo's favourite director, Rouben Mamoulian. Talented folk, Armenians. But, exactly 1,700 years ago, Armenia officially recognised Christianity - the first country to do so. And this is the reason for the exhibition's subtitle: 1700 Years of Armenian Christian Art. Walk into the British Library's new exhibition gallery, and you find yourself surrounded by stone crosses, sculptures, wood carvings, textiles and ceramics. And in the showcases along the walls you'll find illuminated books of a kind you won't have seen before. Illuminated is both the correct technical term, and also a more evocative one, for the colours in these ancient Gospels still glow. They have nothing in common with their gloomy western equivalents: the Armenian illustrators allowed themselves wonderful licence with fabrics and foliage, and gave their human likenesses a cinematic freedom and vigour. Creating pigments from milk, eggs, arsenic, azure and a variety of vegetable ingredients, they led the world in colour, and it shows. Moreover, their geographical position - linking the empires of Christianity and Islam - led to a commensurate hybridisation in design: some of their painted scenes reflect Persian origins, others suggest Rajasthan. And the mythologies they incorporate are hybrid too; witness the lion sleeping under the Cross in the Armenian Crucifixion, which came from ancient Greece. The first Armenian book was printed in Venice; the first Armenian Bible was printed in Madras: Armenian culture was always cosmopolitan. But this exhibition is also rich in political overtones. The preservation of many of the artefacts is down to a surprisingly enlightened attitude on the part of the occupying Soviets. On the other hand, many of the treasures which should have been here remain in Iran and Georgia. The Iranian government hadn't wanted to take part, and the Georgians - traditionally rivals of their southern neighbour - hadn't been prepared to send exhibits to a show that was not their own. The Ark in the title embodies the richest irony of all: Noah was supposed to have made his landfall on Mount Ararat - clearly visible from the Armenian capital of Yerevan, but now within the borders of modern Turkey. So go and be amazed, and while you're in the building visit the gallery upstairs, where more of the Library's manuscripts are on display. There are copies of the Koran from Uzbekistan and Tuva, and scores by Bach and Purcell. This is the British Library's first foray into showbiz, and it's a stunning start. Until 28 May.

Thanks, Aharon. Just wanted to comment on the "1984, Los Angeles : 0 medal" statistics for those who are not aware of it. In 1984, the USSR boycotted the Olympics due to its antagonism with the US. No Armenian (overall USSR) athletes have participated in this Olympics. If I remember correctly, the reason was the fact of the USA and USSR being on the opposite sides of the fence in Avghanistan. [ March 05, 2001: Message edited by: MJ ]

The Guardian (UK) March 5, 2001 The new Great Game East and west are jockeying for influence in the Caucasus. The prize is oil and gas Richard Norton-Taylor A new and potentially explosive Great Game is being set up and few in Britain are aware of it. There are many players: far more than the two - Russia and Britain - who were engaged a century ago in imperial rivalry in central Asia and the north-west frontier. And the object this time is not so much control of territory. It is the large reserves of oil and gas in the Caucasus, notably the Caspian basin. Pipelines are the counters in this new Great Game. There are plans for pipe-lines through Azerbaijan, Georgia, Turkey, Iran, Bulgaria, Macedonia - and Albania. Traditional rivalries between east and west are complicated by other threats - from Chechen separatists, Kurds, Albanian guerrilla groups, the dispute between Azerbaijan and Armenia over Nagorno-Artsax and, throughout the region, Islamic groups whose activities are causing deep concern to Moscow, Tehran and Washington alike. "In addition to instability and conflict in the Caucasus and parts of central Asia, there is a longer-term fear that Russia may rebuild its military capabilities, perhaps under a strongly nationalist regime," notes Paul Rogers, professor of peace studies at Bradford University, in his recent book, Losing Control. Such a fear he adds, "rarely recognises the significance of a near-endemic Russian perception that Nato expansion and US commercial interests in the Caspian basin are part of a strategic encroachment into Russia's historic sphere of influence". This is the region both west and east have their eyes on. It is rich in untapped oil and gas while US reserves are running down, China is desperate for more oil, and no one outside the Gulf wants to rely on Saudi Arabia, Kuwait or Iraq - which have the biggest oil reserves. Oil is the bait as the US, Russia, Turkey, Iran - and Nato - jockey for alliances, power and influence in this highly combustible but, for most people, little-known, region. The EU is now getting in on the act. "The European Union cannot afford to neglect the southern Caucasus. Georgia, Armenia and Azerbaijan form a strategic corridor linking southern Europe with central Asia," Chris Patten, the European external relations commissioner, and Anna Lindh, the Swedish foreign minister, told Financial Times readers last month before the first high-level EU visit to the region. "There is perhaps as much oil under the Caspian sea as under the North sea and a huge amount of gas there and in central Asia - good news for energy-hungry Europe," they said. Soon after the EU visit, Georgia's president, Eduard Shevardnadze, welcomed European and US support for the "Great Silk Road idea". The plan, backed by Washington and American oil companies, including Chevron, is for a pipeline taking Turkmenistan and Kazakh oil to Baku, the Azerbaijani capital, through Tbilisi, the Georgian capital, and through eastern Turkey to the Mediterranean port of Ceyhan. Russia is desperate to maintain oil flows through its territory. Iran wants a pipeline running from the Caspian due south. China wants one going due east. There is also a plan, backed by the US, for a pipeline running from the Bulgarian Black sea port of Burgas through Macedonia to the Albanian Adriatic port of Vlore. The idea is for Caspian oil to be shipped to Burgas by tanker from the Black sea ports of Novorossiysk in Russia and Supsa in Georgia. A feasibility study for this ambitious project - due to be operational by 2005 - is being undertaken by Ambo, a company registered in the US, with, say the Bulgarians, the support of Texaco, Chevron, Exxon Mobil, BP Amoco, Agip and TotalElfFina. It is "very probable" the project will go ahead, a Bulgarian spokesman said last week. It is a "safer" way to take the oil. While the US and Nato - and now the EU - hold out the prospect of untold wealth for the Caucasian states of the former Soviet Union, the west will also have an important economic stake in Albania and Macedonia. The US already seems to take the view that all Serbs are bad and all Albanians good. The implications for Kosovo, a Serbian province with an overwhelming ethnic Albanian population, and for Macedonia, with armed groups from Kosovo stirring up trouble among the ethnic Albanian population, are potentially immense. The fight over pipeline routes involves gas as well as oil. Russia wants to supply gas to Turkey; as does Iran, Russia's ally against the Taliban in Afghanistan and a country Russia is supplying with nuclear know-how. For Britain there is an added factor in this jigsaw puzzle of rivalries and alliances. By 2020, the Ministry of Defence noted in a recent report on the "future strategic context for defence", the UK could be importing 90% of its gas supplies. "The main source of supply," it added, "will include Russia, Iran, and Algeria." Iran's gas reserves, say analysts, are second only to Russia's. "All options are on the table", says the Foreign Office, adding that Britain has no problem from the "political point of view" with Iran's oil pipeline plan. Watch this space. richard.norton-taylor@guardian.co.uk

THIRD SESSION OF ARMENIAN-AMERICAN TASK FORCE BEGINS IN YEREVAN YEREVAN, March 5 (Noyan Tapan). The third session of the Armenian-American Task Force began in Yerevan on March 5. The head of the Armenian delegation, Economy and Finance Minister Vardan Khachatrian presented the legislative aspects of forming Armenia's investment policy. The cochairmen from the American side, State Department Coordinator for Aid to NIS William Taylor promised US assistance in finding solutions to the issues discussed during the session. The two-day session will discuss ways of improving Armenia's investment climate, including the organization of a forum on investments in New York in May of this year. The forum will deal with Armenia, the security and privatization of its energy sector, the government's anti-corruption policy, US aid programs for Armenia as well as earthquake area rehabilitation. The Task Force was set up in January 2000. It has held two sessions so far - one in Yerevan and one in Washington. During the first session Armenia suggested that an agreement on avoiding double taxation be signed between the two states. The American side proposed preliminary conditions, one of which was stabilization of Armenia's tax system. This issue is on the agenda of the third session. Armenia has so far signed agreements on avoiding double taxation with 13 states. © Copyright 2001, Noyan Tapan News Agency. All Rights Reserved, All reproduction prohibited. All inquiries to: Noyan Tapan Information & Analytical Center E-mail: nt2@noyan-tapan.am Tel & Fax: (3742) 56-59-65, (3742) 52-42-79 http://www.noyan-tapan.am/

Azat, I just use the "good ol'" Yahoo. The important thing is to know what you are looking for, and not to get discouraged when you don't find it.

Steve, Thank you. It was a very interesting material. Are you planning to reveal the VirtualAni cite in its entirety anywhere soon?

KOCHARIAN, KUCHMA DISCUSSED FERRYBOAT LINE ISSUES KIEV, MARCH 2, ARMENPRESS: Visiting Armenian president Robert Kocharian and Ukraine's president Leonid Kuchma discussed on Thursday issues on how to speed up with putting into action a railway ferryboat line which will connect the Georgian port of Poti with Ilichevsk, another port on the Russian coast of the Black sea, which is supposed to boost Armenia's trade contacts with Russia, Ukraine and European countries. Kocharian was quoted as saying that "it will be the shortest and cheapest route for Armenian-Ukrainian trade." Kuchma said both Armenia and Ukraine are interested in transportation of Ukrainian goods to Iran through the territory of Armenia and vice versa, as well as in transportation of Iranian and Armenian goods to Europe through Ukraine. Kocharian called on Ukraine to participate in the construction of Iran-Armenia gas pipeline, a project, supported by the European Union. The Armenian president met today with the armenian communoty of Odessa. The community (25000) has repaired the Armenian church. There is also Armenian school in Odessa. The foundation of a National library is also planned. In general there are several Armenian organizatoins, six Armenian churches operating in Ukraine. It should also be mentioned that yesterday the Mayor of Kiev presented a certificate of an Honorable Guest and the symbol of Kiev to Kocharian. The delegation led by the Armenian president tonight will leave Ukraine.

Monday, 5 March, 2001, 02:50 GMT BBC News Rusedski demolishes Agassi in San Jose 4 March, 2001 Greg Rusedski gave an awesome display of all-round tennis to beat Andre Agassi and take his first title for two years. It was the Briton's first final of the year, but he looked confident from the start and never gave Agassi an opportunity to get into the match. After the game, a delighted Rusedski told reporters he was now fully recovered from the injuries that have dogged him for two years. My plan was to stay back and that kind of surprised him Greg Rusedski "In 1999, I had a lot of injuries and now I'm taking better care of myself," he said. "I just hope that in the big tournaments I can come through. "When I woke up, I felt really confident. I knew what I had to do." Rusedski's serve was, as usual, his main weapon, and he clocked one delivery of 139 miles per hour. But it was the quality of his play from the baseline that surprised the top seed. Rusedski was hitting regular forehand winners and his top-spin backhand was as impressive as it has ever been. Rusedski celebrates his title triumph "My plan was to stay back and that kind of surprised him," he said. Two Rusedski breaks of serve proved decisive. In the fourth game of the first set he hit a sensational backhand winner to take Agassi's serve. He held on to take the set 6-3. Agassi, looking for his fifth San Jose title, looked stunned, and Rusedski added to his disbelief by breaking serve in the first game of the second set. With a partisan crowd willing him on, Agassi upped his game and came up with some sensational passing shots and outright winners from the baseline. But Rusedski's serve was simply too strong for his rival to get the break that he so desperately needed. He had control the whole time. There was not much you can do Andre Agassi The Briton served the match out in emphatic style, winning to love to claim the match in under an hour. It was the left-hander's 10th career title and his second on American soil. The victory avenges Rusedski's appearance in the 1997 final at San Jose, when he was forced to retire against Pete Sampras with a wrist injury. Agassi's defeat was his first of the season. He had previously recorded 11 straight victories. "Once he got up on a break, the finish line was in sight," Agassi said. "He had control the whole time. There was not much you can do."

List of Short Books 1) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman 2) Career Opportunities for History Majors 3) Detroit - A Travel Guide 4) Different Ways to Spell "Bob" 5) Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches 6) Easy UNIX 7) Everything Men Know About Women 8) French Hospitality 9) Bob Dole: The Wild Years 10) How to Sustain a Musical Career by Art Garfunkel 11) Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette 12) Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA 13) Popular Lawyers 14) The Amish Phone Book

Martiros Saryan By Vera Razdolskaya Parkstone Press, Bournemouth, England, 1998, pp 176, 114 color illustrations, $40, hardcover. Artists have always flocked to Italy and France to paint; Armenia has never been a hot spot on the Grand Tour. But to the Russian-trained artist Martiros Saryan, son of Armenian settlers, it gave purpose to his life and work, drawing him back from abstraction. In Parkstone's recent release, Vera Razdolskaya paints a complete portrait of the man and his work. An examination of an intense colorist like Saryan would not be complete without plenty of color illustrations, and the book, part of Parkstone's "Great Painters" series, provides 114 color illustrations as well as 42 black-and-white photographs, many of the artist and his family and friends. Razdolskaya, a doctor of art history and professor at the Repin Institute of Painting, Sculpture and Architecture in St Petersburg, Russia, writes that Saryan was a dominant figure in Twentieth Century Russian art who later in life became devoted to his homeland, Armenia. Not only did he live there for the last half of his life, but Saryan, a Russian-trained artist, helped to reconstruct Armenian culture for future generations organizing museums and art colleges. Early on, Saryan was caught up in the Symbolist movement, garnering much attention to himself. Then he honed his skills as a colorist, growing more abstract until 1923, when he turned to his homeland for inspiration. Not only did he paint landscapes of the countryside, but he executed portraits and during World War II turned to political subject matter. Razdolskaya, a leading specialist on Western European art, has produced an informative book on one of the artists who ushered in the Twentieth Century with innovation. - By Amy D'Orio http://www.thebee.com/aweb/books/mart.htm