shiner Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Do most want to have kids so that they can leave something behind after they are gone? Are there other reasons? Is there anybody out there who just does not want any? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Do most want to have kids so that they can leave something behind after they are gone? Are there other reasons? Is there anybody out there who just does not want any? style_images/master/snapback.png Good question, I debate with people over this subject constantly. I personally don't have an obsession with having kids. If I have them ok, if I don't oh well, much more traveling and a decent figure prevail. In fact I don't see anything wrong with adopting a child if you feel like you must have one. The world is already overly populated the fate of our civilization no longer depends on reproduction. I feel like some people want to have children because it is the right thing to do to achieve success in our standard society. You want someone to play with get a dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 only shiner would ask a question like this. i don't know the answer. however, i don't think people would have as many kids as they have had and still do if sex was not so pleasureable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Good question, I debate with people over this subject constantly. I personally don't have an obsession with having kids. If I have them ok, if I don't oh well, much more traveling and a decent figure prevail. In fact I don't see anything wrong with adopting a child if you feel like you must have one. The world is already overly populated the fate of our civilization no longer depends on reproduction. I feel like some people want to have children because it is the right thing to do to achieve success in our standard society. You want someone to play with get a dog. style_images/master/snapback.png this probably doesn't apply to the american society, but a lot of people actually have kids so the kids can take care of them in their later years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armen Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 (edited) I think every period and event in life has its meaning and importance in terms of being a set of crucial experiences that every human being should go through, haveing children being one of them. Cosider that as a model life, which, though, has some deviations, meaning that not haveing children does not make you a non-human. However, all these events, like marrige, haveing your children married, seeing them to have children are all important experiences. Well, surely I am writing from a point of view of a believer and I consider haveing children is one of the most important stages this initiation called life. I look at my parents after all these years that they have raised me and my younger brother. What's the difference between them and me at present? Sleepless nights, years and years of careful (like a surgeon's scalpel) decisions, which should not harm a growing human being's life but bring him joy and success. When one of my friends had a boy I felt the difference in his thinking and in my thinking literally after a week or so. I think I want to have children and may God give me the wisdom and strength to raise succesfully even one child. Also, I feal that Armenians must have more children. Edited October 15, 2004 by Armen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Good question, I debate with people over this subject constantly. I personally don't have an obsession with having kids. If I have them ok, if I don't oh well, much more traveling and a decent figure prevail. In fact I don't see anything wrong with adopting a child if you feel like you must have one. The world is already overly populated the fate of our civilization no longer depends on reproduction. I feel like some people want to have children because it is the right thing to do to achieve success in our standard society. You want someone to play with get a dog. style_images/master/snapback.png LMAO! Quite my view, too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nefertiti Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 I think age really matters when choosing to have kids. Someone should understand and take into consideration that bringing a child to this world is more then giving birth or plant a gene or exchange of chromosomes. Its formed of lifetime responsibilities and sacrifices. The psychological, emotional, intellectual, physical, financial aspects are very important to become a parent. I believe most people bring kids to this world for selfish reasons. the most common one - BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING. I used it before ,while asked. Later in life I realized the want and the desire of bringing a child to this world should be love. The love, you have for your significant other and you two want to see your own creation of GREAT LOVE and raise the kid with Love and be a great example in all aspects mentioned above. But make sure you are not in your late 30s. Culture plays a big role, as well. But I'll leave that one alone and don't need to go too far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 The gene argument is weak, considering that your grandkids will have 25% of your genes, which is not much or not worth the effort if you think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 (edited) I tried to answer this post several times...but honestly I have no answer ,it is so natural to me,I do not have an answer.I can not wrap myself around the thought of someone not wanting to have kids other then they are sellfish...I don't mean that in an insulting way at all...those who don't,either 1)don't have anyone in their lives they want to have children with, so the concept is foreign to them 2)just want to enjoy themselves,only spend money on themselves and not worry about another human being3)no one realy wants to have children with them sorry couldn't resist 4)maybe they just can handle having full responsibility for another person...all valid reason...and it's great if you know that ahead of time and not bring another human being into the world that you are not capable of taking care of,and to know ahead of time that when you are in a serious relationship you are upfront with it...I know a few people who have not had kids,and now it's too late,and it's the biggest regret in their lives... I mighta' rambled...tough Edited October 15, 2004 by Maral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 I never ever ever ever ever want to have kids. blahhhhhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Yeah. I mean, imagine having to plan vacations and what you do around the house according to some whiners. Imagine retiring and having a life-time's savings, and wanting to visit Peru or Tibet, only to have to "think" of the kids (or maybe even grandkids). What is life if you can't do what you want to do? If pining away because of others is something you want to do, then that's fine, but... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Bark Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Yeah. I mean, imagine having to plan vacations and what you do around the house according to some whiners. Imagine retiring and having a life-time's savings, and wanting to visit Peru or Tibet, only to have to "think" of the kids (or maybe even grandkids). What is life if you can't do what you want to do? If pining away because of others is something you want to do, then that's fine, but... style_images/master/snapback.png That is a legitimate view of life. As luck has it, it also corresponds to "genes" (read character traits) that are best left unpropagated. Too bad about other "genes" (traits) chained to them that are worth propagating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Bark Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 The gene argument is weak, considering that your grandkids will have 25% of your genes, which is not much or not worth the effort if you think about it. style_images/master/snapback.png Yeah, but if you have 16 grandchildren, then there will be 400% of you out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 I never ever ever ever ever want to have kids. blahhhhhh style_images/master/snapback.png lier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 I tried to answer this post several times...but honestly I have no answer ,it is so natural to me,I do not have an answer.I can not wrap myself around the thought of someone not wanting to have kids other then they are sellfish.. style_images/master/snapback.png Some may argue that a desire to have kids is of selfish nature. The human quest for immortality, knowing that after you've gone your chromosomes, which you have molded into a desirable product, will be walking the earth continuing your bloodline. Both notions are selfish but have different formats. In the end no one can't really assess what is better or worse, it's purely subjective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Yeah. I mean, imagine having to plan vacations and what you do around the house according to some whiners. Imagine retiring and having a life-time's savings, and wanting to visit Peru or Tibet, only to have to "think" of the kids (or maybe even grandkids). What is life if you can't do what you want to do? If pining away because of others is something you want to do, then that's fine, but... style_images/master/snapback.png I have a cousin in her mid 20's...that was her attitude all this time...she's on her way to getting her PHD,who needs to be married?who needs kids?I want to get my PHD and move to Armenia etc etc etc,fabulous goals she has...the other day I get an email,she finally met the one and says how all she can think of is having little boys who look like him,and she thinks she's lost her mind I had to read the email twice,couldn't believe it was her saying these things! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Bark Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 At the instinctive and biological level, there is nothing more to it than the "selfish gene" argument (genes want to propagate themselves, whether it is fun for you or not). At the higher level that we created for ourselves, the point of life can be summarized as "creating beauty", and leaving something worthwhile behind. That can be done in many ways, and raising beautiful minds is one of the best and most accessible ways to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Some may argue that a desire to have kids is of selfish nature. The human quest for immortality, knowing that after you've gone your chromosomes, which you have molded into a desirable product, will be walking the earth continuing your bloodline. Both notions are selfish but have different formats. In the end no one can't really assess what is better or worse, it's purely subjective. style_images/master/snapback.png there is no way that anyone would say that having kids is sellfish after they've had one or two and who the heck cares about my genes when I'm gone..when I'm gone I'm gone...period end of story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Bark Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 there is no way that anyone would say that having kids is sellfish after they've had one or two and who the heck cares about my genes when I'm gone..when I'm gone I'm gone...period end of story. style_images/master/snapback.png Maral, the "selfish" entity in that line of thought is not you per se. It's your selfish genes, using you to propagate itself. It's there, in our machinery; we wouldn't be here if it weren't. Given the humans' level of self-awarenes, we can, of course, make sense of things in a better and more profound way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nairi Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 I'm not ready for kids yet, but the more I hang around them, the more I want them. Contradicting this is the relief I feel once I leave them. They might be fun for a few hours, but to have them around 24/7... Then again, maybe it's an age thing. I notice more and more girls getting their first kid in their early 30s or even mid-30s. I have a few more years Although I also think it has to do with having a partner. As long as you're single, you'll be less likely to think about kids or even want them, but maybe when you actually fall in love with "the one", you feel more inclined to have them. Maybe there's also a difference between men and women. After all, it's the women who have to go through most of the (physical) trouble. Not all of us are looking forward to this. Not to mention the sleepless nights afterwards... It's so much easier being a man and wanting kids... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 Maral, the "selfish" entity in that line of thought is not you per se. It's your selfish genes, using you to propagate itself. It's there, in our machinery; we wouldn't be here if it weren't. Given the humans' level of self-awarenes, we can, of course, make sense of things in a better and more profound way. style_images/master/snapback.png Fascinating! So it's our genes who want to reprouduce,ok that could be it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 For the life of me I can't think of a legitimate enough reason to have kids...but I love every exhausting minute of it! But how can you resist them???? Just look at her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! houri.bmp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 there is no way that anyone would say that having kids is sellfish after they've had one or two and who the heck cares about my genes when I'm gone..when I'm gone I'm gone...period end of story. style_images/master/snapback.png We are going into an argument of egoism. Having kids is a selfish concept: You want a dog, you like dogs, it makes you feel special and embodies you with feelings you haven't experienced before. To keep the feeling alive you reward it with care and sacrifice. It's still selfish. Maral this is not the case with you, but many people feel as if they should have kids because it is the right thing to do and to escape the crucifixion of the society because you don't live up to your human potential. Taking a chance of not having kids means a lot of judgments from everyone around you as well as annoying inquiries into your supposedly "abnormal" relationship or marriage. I feel as if at this moment no one really needs to have kids, if you want them because of your personal interests fine, if you don't that's fine to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Bark Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 It's so much easier being a man and wanting kids... You are generalizing missy. Some of us fully participate in it, diapers and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 I never meant to imply that if one doesn't want to have kids it wasn't fine. It is what it is...I just can't comprehend it I said. I still say not having kids is a sellfish concept. And to each his own. I guess one can't understand having a child with someone you love if the union of marriage seems 'abnormal' anyways. Time will tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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