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Mystery And Attraction


shiner

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In most cases a certain degree of mystery needs to be maintained, because otherwise there is a tendency of becoming noninteresting, nonintriguing, nonappealing etc. Oftentimes these relationships can head towards the "friendship" path.

 

But when everything is out in the open and everything is known about a person, and the other person still finds them interesting and attractive, that is true, full blown attraction.

 

What do ya'll think?

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I think mystery is essential for any kind of a relationship, everyone should have a secret or a few. I don't know how married folks do it, I really have a hard time imagining how one can stay interested in the same person for 25 years, I throw in the towel after a year. Edited by anileve
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I think mystery is essential for any kind of a relationship, everyone should have a secret or a few. I don't know how married folks do it, I really have a hard time imagining how one can stay interested in the same person for 25 years, I throw in the towel after a year.

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hmm - well sometimes one can be a bit too mysterious and cause others to lose interest...

 

And as for maintining interest over many years - well yeah - can be difficult...I think its important to attempt to avoid patterns as much as possible...so do different things form the norm, travel to new places, do different (and new) types of activities...and try to surprise your SI every once in a while...etc etc...and some folks are more comfortable/content/satisfied with certainty and sameness - its how they are wired...so its easier for them - others - like you Eve - demand more obviously. Another factor is children. They become a source of the new and wonderous as they evolve/grow...they also tend to take a large part of ones/a couples time and focus and sometimes keep you so busy you don't have time to think of much else (not a good thing - but just the way it is....and thus the other aspects of a relationship require more effort)

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