SALTnPEPA92 Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 (edited) Okay you guys I have a lil problem, I am talking to this guy online and i like him his a sweet guy, and i started talking to him first. and he really likes me and wants to see me, but i cant see him cuz my brothers really strict and blah blah now i feel really bad b/c i feel like im wasting this guys time, but i love chatting with him, we get along pretty well like we always laugh and stuff hes seen my pic and ive seen his his really cute and he has a nice personality so far..he has asked me out but i say no, i am not playing games with him i just cant go out and stuff...and he feels weird about the situtation and all and i feel so bad b/c i wanna be buddyes with him like online and stuff can anyone help b/c i feel so bad thank you Edited March 5, 2004 by SALTnPEPA92 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 hmm, that sucks.. but i think he will understand... dont worry, you dont even know him.. lol.. what if he sent you some fake pics? and how can he know the ones you sent are real? lol... you see,, its cyberspace, dont give any personal info, and youll be fine.. ok.. thats all i can help with for now kaghtser jan.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SALTnPEPA92 Posted March 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 hmm, that sucks.. but i think he will understand... dont worry, you dont even know him.. lol.. what if he sent you some fake pics? and how can he know the ones you sent are real? lol... you see,, its cyberspace, dont give any personal info, and youll be fine.. ok.. thats all i can help with for now kaghtser jan.. ya i hope he does because i care for him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 How old are you S'nP? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SALTnPEPA92 Posted March 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 How old are you S'nP? 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Ok for 20, I say you shouldn't worry so much. I don't see any problem with meeting the guy. And your brother should learn that he is not your owner. 1) Talk to the guy on the phone before you meet. This is very important. Just be normal chat away be friendly see what he is like. 2) Meet him for coffee or something at a public place ... with a lot of people around. Then you can go from there ... But at 20 years of age I think you are old enough to be able to take care of yourself. Of course you don't want to trust everyone right away too much but that doesn't mean you run away from people for the rest of your life. Take a chance ... if you like him and he likes you then by all means meet! Have a cup of coffee ... talk. Then you will realize if you really like each other in real life or not. IF you don't feel like telling your brother at first, I would suggest at least let one of your friends know where you are going to be and what is happening. And if you are worried, stay in touch on the phone with that friend before, during and after! But if you ask me, that's a little overkill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SALTnPEPA92 Posted March 5, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Ok for 20, I say you shouldn't worry so much. I don't see any problem with meeting the guy. And your brother should learn that he is not your owner. 1) Talk to the guy on the phone before you meet. This is very important. Just be normal chat away be friendly see what he is like. 2) Meet him for coffee or something at a public place ... with a lot of people around. Then you can go from there ... But at 20 years of age I think you are old enough to be able to take care of yourself. Of course you don't want to trust everyone right away too much but that doesn't mean you run away from people for the rest of your life. Take a chance ... if you like him and he likes you then by all means meet! Have a cup of coffee ... talk. Then you will realize if you really like each other in real life or not. IF you don't feel like telling your brother at first, I would suggest at least let one of your friends know and if you are worried, stay in touch on the phone before, during and after! But if you ask me, that's a little overkill. seaph i dont have a cell phone my bro checks my phone records so how can i talk to him on the phone...my brother is just worried about me but anyways thanks for ur help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Ok for 20, I say you shouldn't worry so much. I don't see any problem with meeting the guy. And your brother should learn that he is not your owner. 1) Talk to the guy on the phone before you meet. This is very important. Just be normal chat away be friendly see what he is like. 2) Meet him for coffee or something at a public place ... with a lot of people around. Then you can go from there ... But at 20 years of age I think you are old enough to be able to take care of yourself. Of course you don't want to trust everyone right away too much but that doesn't mean you run away from people for the rest of your life. Take a chance ... if you like him and he likes you then by all means meet! Have a cup of coffee ... talk. Then you will realize if you really like each other in real life or not. IF you don't feel like telling your brother at first, I would suggest at least let one of your friends know and if you are worried, stay in touch on the phone before, during and after! But if you ask me, that's a little overkill. Hey, good advice Sip,, VERY good.. nicely put.. impressed.. lol..jk, you have allready impressed me in other forums.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 seaph i dont have a cell phone my bro checks my phone records so how can i talk to him on the phone...my brother is just worried about me but anyways thanks for ur help Well that is a little worrying to hear. At some point you have to stand up for yourself and become your own person. Obviously I don't know any details about your family dynamics but you live in the US and people have privacy rights here About phone, well it's easy to find a phone if that's the problem... friends' phones, pay phones ... But I still think it's a good idea to talk to the guy on the phone before meeting. The other thing I wanted to say is that you can even set it up as a group meet ... like tell him you are going somewhere with some friends and ask if he'd like to come ... maybe to a restaurant or something. I assume you go places with your own friends without your brother butting in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 The other thing I wanted to say is that you can even set it up as a group meet ... like tell him you are going somewhere with some friends and ask if he'd like to come ... maybe to a restaurant or something. I assume you go places with your own friends without your brother butting in. Thats a good idea... you should do that saltnpepa jan.. i think its your BEST course of action.. lol.. well after you chatt with him on the phone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Okay you guys I have a lil problem SirumemKez I thought you were planning to take a year off from the forum? I see you've changed your mind, well that is wonderful. About that guy of yours, I suggest you let your parents know so that they can invite his parents for an interview over a nice "bajak" of coffee. Perhaps after they see that he's a nice guy (through his family), they can all chaperon on your date, and everyone will be happy. Your brother can buy the popcorn while he sits between you two, to preserve the integrity of the date. You can thank me later with a nice bottle of Opus One Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 LMAO, i like your sense of humor... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Okay you guys I have a lil problem, I am talking to this guy online and i like him his a sweet guy, and i started talking to him first. and he really likes me and wants to see me, but i cant see him cuz my brothers really strict and blah blah now i feel really bad b/c i feel like im wasting this guys time, but i love chatting with him, we get along pretty well like we always laugh and stuff hes seen my pic and ive seen his his really cute and he has a nice personality so far..he has asked me out but i say no, i am not playing games with him i just cant go out and stuff...and he feels weird about the situtation and all and i feel so bad b/c i wanna be buddyes with him like online and stuff can anyone help b/c i feel so bad thank you I have a full proof plan that will not backfire if you play it right, it involves a little blood and carnage but it's worth it for a happy ending. You should murder your family like they do in LIFETIME movies. Run away with the guy, and chat alot and stuff and then get caught by the authorities and stand a long boring trial after which you will cry and be found guilty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 One word of advide- be careful with people you meet online- yeah its cool to have buddies and stuff- buut approach with caution and dont rush into anything- get to know the person reallllllllly well-- IMO- if i were in that situation thats what id do- and tell ur bro to go get a life- my bros pretty strict with other things- but he trusts me and knows im honest with him- he doesnt treat me like a kid- and most of the time hes the one backing me up when my parents dont let me do things-- i say get to talk 2 ur bro more- well with my bro i dont have a prob- hes pretty cool- although ive never had a boyfriend or what not- like when i had guy friends from when i was little- my bro was and still is cool about it- besides ur gonna get with someone sooner or later- get married- eventually- he has 2 get used 2 it- so tell him to get that stick outta his but and try to understand from your point of view-- but i would understand if your bro didnt let u chat with some guy online and then meet him- he cares 4 u and doesnt want some fool 2 play u- so u gotta c where hes comin from too-- start off with REAL peopl- like meeting someone in real life and going out- even as friends (best way to start a cool friendship--just friends)-- and gradually let ur bro know and im sure hell get used 2 it--> just dont worry- youre 20 he should know that your an adult andhave the capability to make your own decisions...GOOD LUCK BABZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 and here i was thinkin how nice it would be to have an older bro!! awww that brotherly love ..well an older COOL!!!! brother!! not a taliban wannabe....sorry girl, somebody said it already..you gotta stand up for yourself!! what's next? they're gonna tell you what school to go to and what to study and arrange a marriage for you?? if i was in your place i'd be one helllll of a rebel! i'm not saying you should disrespect or 'run away from home'...rather be your own person and realize that no one 'owns' you!!! not even your future b/f or husband!!! you gotta learn how to stand up for yourself..cuz they're your brothers now and i'm assuming that they want the best for you..but what happens in the future if you come across a jerk who tries to run your life? and gives you hell if you don't do as he tells you?? i doubt you can run to your brothers every time there's a problem and look to them to solve your (relationship) issues!! that's a recipe for disasters and arrest warrants!!! you don't wanna go there! practice early!! learn to be independent!! and make sure YOU have the last say in all YOUR decisions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 ... not a taliban wannabe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 i think her issues she wanted to talk about was about the guy, seems like she has made her mind up and respects her brothers "care".. lol.. she needs advice on how to deal with the guy... though it seems like the cause of the problem is her brothers care huh? hmm... i dunno..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allarmeniangirl Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 Okay you guys I have a lil problem, I am talking to this guy online and i like him his a sweet guy, and i started talking to him first. and he really likes me and wants to see me, but i cant see him cuz my brothers really strict and blah blah now i feel really bad b/c i feel like im wasting this guys time, but i love chatting with him, we get along pretty well like we always laugh and stuff hes seen my pic and ive seen his his really cute and he has a nice personality so far..he has asked me out but i say no, i am not playing games with him i just cant go out and stuff...and he feels weird about the situtation and all and i feel so bad b/c i wanna be buddyes with him like online and stuff can anyone help b/c i feel so bad thank you Hmmmm, reading other people's advice to you, I thought you didn't want to meet this guy in the first place and you are just worried about hurting his feelings. You said that it is because your brother is strict and doesn't want you to. Did your brother tell you not to meet with that guy or do you just assume that? If you're angry at your brother for that, you shouldn't be because he is just worried since there are a lot of freaks online. However if you do decide to actually meet with this guy, my suggestion to you would be to invite a friend along or just like Sip said, go somewhere where there are a lot of people where you two will not meet alone. Obviously I don't know any details about your family dynamics but you live in the US and people have privacy rights here Uhm, you're talking about an Armenian family here. America is outside the house, Armenia is inside the house. Well, at least that's what my parents always say. It is different with the girls, but anyways.........yea P.S. Don't your parents get a say in this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 ... America is outside the house, Armenia is inside the house. Well, at least that's what my parents always say. It is different with the girls, but anyways.........yea Human rights don't stop at the walls of a house in the US. But I totally agree that it all comes down to what she wants. And I also agree that it is very imporant to be open and honest with parents ... up to a certain point where they are not trying to run your life for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allarmeniangirl Posted March 5, 2004 Report Share Posted March 5, 2004 (edited) Human rights don't stop at the walls of a house in the US. Mr. Sip man...sir...you missed my point. I was saying that even though she lives in US, her upbringing or w/e may not be American and that includes the US laws and etc.....but nvm that. And I also agree that it is very imporant to be open and honest with parents ... up to a certain point where they are not trying to run your life for you. Ah, I love my parents. The know almost everything and are so coooool. hehe Edited March 5, 2004 by allarmeniangirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 tell you brother to get a life of his own.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Anka_ Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 If I was you I would just follow my heart instead of listening to what other people want you to do. You said that you like the guys right? ok then meet him but before you do that get to know him little bit more and defenetly meet him in a public place. Why are you letting another person tell you what to do and run your life for you? You're only 20 years old and you still have a lot of things ahead of you so don't let someone else make decisions for you and stop you from what you wanna do. I understand that he's your bro but so what???? I don't think that it gives him a power to rule over you and that's exactly what he's doing. You're your own authority! You brother should support your decisions and respect your desires not control you... I don't have a brother but even if i did I'd be crazy to let him run my life, that's just not me. I don't even let my father control me (the Armenian way), even though my father is soooooo liberal that even if i wanted him to be strict with me he most likely wouldn't. I never have these kind of problems in my house. My family is so far away from traditions and I'm sure that if I asked my mom about some kind of armenian tradition she wouldn't have any clue and we are from Armenia. I guess that it all depends on the family and their views on all the traditional crap. You may think that I speak this way because I don't ahve a brother and I don't ahve that experience but trust me I'm sure that even if I did have a brother I would never let him run my life like that (checking my cellphone??...what the hell). So I would advise you to stand up for yourself because if you don't then who's going to do it for you??? I'm also 21 years old. screw all that armenian crap, people need to grow up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted March 6, 2004 Report Share Posted March 6, 2004 If I was you I would just follow my heart instead of listening to what other people want you to do. You said that you like the guys right? ok then meet him but before you do that get to know him little bit more and defenetly meet him in a public place. Why are you letting another person tell you what to do and run your life for you? You're only 20 years old and you still have a lot of things ahead of you so don't let someone else make decisions for you and stop you from what you wanna do. I understand that he's your bro but so what???? I don't think that it gives him a power to rule over you and that's exactly what he's doing. You're your own authority! You brother should support your decisions and respect your desires not control you... I don't have a brother but even if i did I'd be crazy to let him run my life, that's just not me. I don't even let my father control me (the Armenian way), even though my father is soooooo liberal that even if i wanted him to be strict with me he most likely wouldn't. I never have these kind of problems in my house. My family is so far away from traditions and I'm sure that if I asked my mom about some kind of armenian tradition she wouldn't have any clue and we are from Armenia. I guess that it all depends on the family and their views on all the traditional crap. You may think that I speak this way because I don't ahve a brother and I don't ahve that experience but trust me I'm sure that even if I did have a brother I would never let him run my life like that (checking my cellphone??...what the hell). So I would advise you to stand up for yourself because if you don't then who's going to do it for you??? I'm also 21 years old. screw all that armenian crap, people need to grow up. agreed.. i am an older brother to 2 beautiful girls.. and 2 years younger than my older sister.. she is married, and married @ 19.. yes to soon... lol.. We as a family, not only me tried to tell her, triued to explain, did everything we could.. but it was blind love... and she got married.. now i have a almost 2 year old nephew... .. my point being.. i was strict with her even as a younger brother, but if she liked him and alll the things we said hleped not, infact fuled her more towards him.. made us not stand in her way and give her the best support she deserved as we went through with it... if you ask her today, she'll tell you she wished she had waited ... so, listening to your brother is one thing, but obey his everyword even if it means at yor own self worth.. i dont think that is right.. but tsavet tanem.. its all up to you. .maybe you feel more comfortable listeing to yourbro.. its all up to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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