hyebruin Posted January 20, 2004 Report Share Posted January 20, 2004 bruin got lucky this weekend!! get your mind out of the gutter!!! that is NOT what i meant!!! ...anyways, i was driving back from the gym and got pulled over by a ...rather cute cop!.... anyways, it turns out i was going about 5 miles > the limit...AND didn't have my license on me either! only school id and gym membership...so, i gave that to him..and ...and ....he let me go!!!! me so happy!!!! ....he was so adorable....jaaaanaaaaa!!! ---the funny part is when i was proudly relaying some of this to my dad he was like: "bakhd, bakhd es berel!!! yes chem haskanum!! ed meg@ chem l@se...." he was so baffled by the whole thing!! he couldn't figure out why i wasn't penalized for at least not having my license....and my response was..."guess 'cause i was a girl!!"...if the circumstances were different(like if i wasn't pulled over!! duhhh!! ) i would have definitely tried to be eXtra friendly with our local law enforcement officer!!! "hey, baby, blue is my color too!! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joseph parikian Posted January 20, 2004 Report Share Posted January 20, 2004 http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/wishwell.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joseph parikian Posted January 20, 2004 Report Share Posted January 20, 2004 http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/1april.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted January 20, 2004 Report Share Posted January 20, 2004 For any of you who wonder what marketing is, here you go. Just keep in mind that you have to deliver against your claim if you expect any repeat business. "What is marketing?", the following analogies will help clear it up... You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." - That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed." - That's Advertising. You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." - That's Telemarketing. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." - That's Public Relations. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." - That's Brand Recognition. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. - That's a Sales Rep. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. - That's Tech Support. You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb out the sunroof of the car and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" - That's Spam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted January 21, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 thanks sev-mard jan!!! that was super!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 So there I was at my favorite watering hole (most people throw penny's in the well, I throw in my empty cans). So there I was. And up comes this guy with his girlfriend who was visibly crying. He said "Hey! Is this the guy honey?" while pointing at me, and through her sobbing, she muttered a faint "yeah". The guy says to me, "I'm going to kick your ass" and I said "Ok, just one second." I proceeded to chug my last Mike's Hard Lemonade, I jammed my fingers down my throat, and sent out a perfect stream of projectile vomit with enough force to tear the paint off of an '82 Ford. With his eye's burning, I quickly made my escape, but not before stealing his shoes. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewI...bayphotohosting Help put food on this poor old man's table. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 So there I was at my favorite watering hole (most people throw penny's in the well, I throw in my empty cans). So there I was. And up comes this guy with his girlfriend who was visibly crying. He said "Hey! Is this the guy honey?" while pointing at me, and through her sobbing, she muttered a faint "yeah". The guy says to me, "I'm going to kick your ass" and I said "Ok, just one second." I proceeded to chug my last Mike's Hard Lemonade, I jammed my fingers down my throat, and sent out a perfect stream of projectile vomit with enough force to tear the paint off of an '82 Ford. With his eye's burning, I quickly made my escape, but not before stealing his shoes. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewI...bayphotohosting Help put food on this poor old man's table. Thank you. man that was disgusting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joseph parikian Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/baldlife.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/baldlife.gif Is that my head? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 OMG, those are fantastic. Well, since I have the ears, I might as well have the shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 21, 2004 Report Share Posted January 21, 2004 Indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 hey that looks like the pair i got for x-mas from santa... hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 Angel,, we know you stole those from him,, so howed u do it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 I just had to post this here. it is one of the funniest things I have seen http://www.klokicker.de/img/bild_heimspiel_engl.jpg http://www.klokicker.de/english/index_engl.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyRoss Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 Since it return of Armenia, my cat always has the blues, it watches only armenian tv programs and drinks... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 Is that Kotayk your cat is drinking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyRoss Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 Right Sir ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are OUR rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. That's a classic, and some of the above which I picked out aren't necessarily guy-to-girl things. The whining and fibbing I get from my girl friends just makes me sick sometimes. And then there is the housewives' thing with dissing their own cooking and the other assuring them it's fine, then the host reiterating that it would've been better if the other had been put in or what was put in were put in less - loud like they're giving a speech to a crowd without a microphone in their possession - it's a must-do ritual in all possible combinations of neighbours. On a side note, I believe it is now being understood that sitting when draining the lizard is healthier for you men. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 On a side note, I believe it is now being understood that sitting when draining the lizard is healthier for you men. chem manun, i don't know if it's healthier, but is does give you a chance to rest every now and again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 chem manun, i don't know if it's healthier, but is does give you a chance to rest every now and again. I agree, I think it's matter of tucking it in that must look a bit discouraging to men. Once you get over the folding it's really much more comfortable than target shooting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 23, 2004 Report Share Posted January 23, 2004 Nuclear weapons could destroy all life on earth, if used properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hye_Acher Posted January 24, 2004 Report Share Posted January 24, 2004 Nuclear weapons could destroy all life on earth, if used properly. Anonymouse, You’re very strange person… not that I care but some of your posts are very disturbing and your interest is “Baking poison cookies for your mom.” ?????? That really is sickening . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted January 24, 2004 Report Share Posted January 24, 2004 Anonymouse, You’re very strange person… not that I care but some of your posts are very disturbing and your interest is “Baking poison cookies for your mom.” ?????? That really is sickening . I love you my baby. Let's elope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted January 24, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2004 thought of the day: not everything's about sex! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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