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Infertile Women?


CheekY

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Well that's weird. Maybe he was embarrased, i'm pretty sure he was. That's a tough issue, I'm pretty sure i'd try my hardest to stay with her. It's your wife and I don't take marriage as a joke. Technology is great these days and you can do a variety of things to procreate. So there really isn't much reason besides if you crack under the stress cuz you're a weaker person.
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i was wondering...would you leave your wife if she was unable to have a baby?

Of course not... even if SHE were the one who had the problem.... marriage is not about having kids, it's about love, respect, and commitment. You say so when you get married in church... It is stupid to leave your wife just cos she can't bear your kid.... not to mention, very rude.... :angry: :angry: :( One of the few things I'm completely intolerant of. Go adopt a kid, there are lots of orphanages out there, you'd be doing good for a human being, at least, instead of selfishly seeking to multiply your genes. :angry:

 

i know a woman whose husband left her...even though he was the one with the problem :blink:

That's the classic example of how Armenian in-laws brainwash either the man or the woman in the couple (mostly the man, cos most of the time the wife is in no position to leave her husband) and create such problems with those myths about how if there's a problem with not being able to have kids, it's always the woman's problem... i've heard too many such stories... f***ing materialistic idiots. And those are the same people who go around on crusades in the name of Armenian traditions.. More like Armenian stupidity. :angry: It's about time that we see the difference between ignorance/illiteracy and Armenian "traditions"/culture... :angry:

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I mean I think being strong and standing by your woman until the bitter end is a no-brainer. I can't generalize but i'm sure many traditional hye martyer may not agree with that. If I had other issues, and I mean ALOT because I don't ever want to get divorced. If it's only about her fertility, while it'll be difficult, I don't see it as an automatic reason why you should leave your wife. ;)
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If I were married and found I couldn't have kids and my husband turned out to be an arse, I'd feel pretty devastated.

But, knowing myself, I'd probably be co-habiting with someone for a while, then deciding we wanted a baby, then getting the test result confirming such, and get married then. I personally see no point in marriage unless it's about kids.

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I personally see no point in marriage unless it's about kids.

really?

i wanna get married not because i want to have babies but because i wanna spend my life with the person i love the most... in the end your kids are gonna grow up and leave and it's gonna be just the 2 of you again...

so when a man leaves you because you can't give him babies then he doesn't really give a damn about you... and in most Armenian families when the girl doesn't get pregnant during the first few months of marriage her parents and in-laws and even relatives start freaking out...asking is she pregnant yet? is she pregnant yet??? are you pregnant yet??? when are you gonna get pregnant???! what's the big deal maybe she doesn't want babies right away... it's like you have to have a baby ASAP to show you're not infertile or something.

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I believe marriage can exist without children, but it's definately a huge part. I don't feel couples should rush to have children though. Pacing is good. Time spent as a married couple is good before creating a family right away as well. Sometimes lack of time to get used to each other, as husband and wife, before building a family causes divorce.
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and in most Armenian families when the girl doesn't get pregnant during the first few months of marriage her parents and in-laws and even relatives start freaking out...asking is she pregnant yet? is she pregnant yet??? are you pregnant yet??? when are you gonna get pregnant???! what's the big deal maybe she doesn't want babies right away... it's like you have to have a baby ASAP to show you're not infertile or something.

Armenian relatives need to be ignored once in a while :)

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really?

i wanna get married not because i want to have babies but because i wanna spend my life with the person i love the most... in the end your kids are gonna grow up and leave and it's gonna be just the 2 of you again...

See, this is what I don't get - what's keeping you from spending your years, your lifetime, with someone? Why all the contraptions? Is it a trap for either side to secure alimony, inheritance, etc.? Why the insecurity? If something goes wrong, normally you would break up, but with marriage you actually have to go through divorce and third parties and lawyers butting in, the whole process, etc. Things can go wrong when you have children, too, but in that situation it's a step worth being taken for the sake of the future and rights of the children.

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i guess no one wants to talk about this...

if a marriage is formed for one purpose only, making babies, then leaving eachother for being infertile is, i think, the reasonable choice. and i think one who would leave his/her spouse for that reason, marries for that one reason only (making babies). so, i don't see a big problem with this issue.

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how sad is that>? how bout adopting or finding other ways of having children...some people are unlucky and cannot have children but doesnt mean that you should not stay with your spouse and still love them...i find it incredible disturbing...afterall in most wedding vows its said- in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad... then if youre going to do that then why marry at all...there needs to be strong love between a couple in order to be able to take care of a child/have a good family a child- IMO--so if you leae the person for that reason then you dont really love the person...! SAD

 

oh and i totally agree--i cant imagine a marriage without childrenn--very sad indeed--i myself love kids--but if that were ever to happen--it would be sad to leave the one you love just because they cant have kids.

Edited by angel4hope
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i wanna get married not because i want to have babies but because i wanna spend my life with the person i love the most... in the end your kids are gonna grow up and leave and it's gonna be just the 2 of you again...

I agree with you skittles, marriage should be based on love and respect. You need someone who will grow old with you. Not to expand the population. True it's sad that some familles aren't fortunate enough to have kids, but they could always adopt. There are hundreds of kids who need loving familles. Plus like Skittles said, kids will grow up and leave to form their own familles. Children are just the icing on the cake.

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i find it incredible disturbing...afterall in most wedding vows its said- in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad...

This part like doesn't even register in the minds of today's people. Believe me I support divorce in cases of abuse, and true lack of love, but people don't work hard enough to save marriages that can be saved in actuality. This is so not an issue to divorce a woman, you claimed you'd love forever, over.... :sadwalk:

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I agree with you skittles, marriage should be based on love and respect. You need someone who will grow old with you. Not to expand the population. True it's sad that some familles aren't fortunate enough to have kids, but they could always adopt. There are hundreds of kids who need loving familles. Plus like Skittles said, kids will grow up and leave to form their own familles. Children are just the icing on the cake.

Extra, Skittles, Angel...all very well said and i agree completely...

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