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ExtraHye

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aren’t some(or most) men scared of commitment because they might “never” be able to sleep with other women?

I don't know about most men but just the thought of not being able to sleep at ANY angle on the bed is pretty damn scary. You have to watch yourself day and nigth ... and you can't just start rolling over any which way you want while sleeping because that could result in a punch in your face, a kick in the you know where, a lot of screaming and some very ugly words being thrown at you in the middle of the night.

 

Being scared of commitment (or attachment I should say) doesn't mean one is looking to be running around with different women although it some cases it may be so.

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funny episode on 'friends' today where monica was telling chandler that his screwed up childhood (gay dad and his cross-dressing actl!!) has affected him in a way that he is unable to feel anything and is left with a hollow void inside! ---and she was (of course sarcastically) saying that it would be ok if he didn't cry at their wedding or when their first child was born or...when SHE died!! meanwhile (stupid)chandler is believing all this and looks pretty happy and content that she is sooooo "understandin"...then finally when he didn't object to the fact that yes! he wouldn't cry at monica's funeral...that's when she finally let out some steam!! and called him something like a..."weird robbot!" or something like that... i was lol'ing big time!!! :lol: :lol: ----and all this time i thought it was just an isolated thing here and there...perhaps knowing of or hearing of the "wrong guys"...then, it hit me!! there are more emotional freaks out there than normal guys; more screwed up weirdos who don't even understand the meaning of caring and being cared for...

 

i have also noticed that usually (this is really sad) it is the screwed up girls who end up attracting and being with nice and normal decent guys!!---maybe these guys have a "need to rescue" same with a lot of girls who have the "need to rescue and love and show love"...don't know???...i think this may be the case of 'opposites attracting'... total waste of time on the part of the rescuer! cannot help someone open up who doesn't want to open up AND doesn't admit to the importance of wanting/needing to open up...

 

however, not to rule out that well balanced people can get together and be happy with themselves and with each other...but, why do i feel like this is not happening more and more??---perhaps the high divorce rate, the rapid turnover rate of relationships!! yikes!! :blink: , many unhappy and unfulfilled people and relationships...

 

it's a scandalous world! what can i say? what can anyone say? :(

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Maybe the "normal"(whatever that may mean) women don't give a rats ass about "Normal" guys and go with the "screwed up" guys and all the "normal" guys can do is go our with "screwed up" women?
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perhaps the high divorce rate, the rapid turnover rate of relationships!! yikes!!  , many unhappy and unfulfilled people and relationships...

 

That is very worrying when you think like that..even some marriages these days are becoming a joke! I know this girl at my work, whos the same age as me and has this 6yr old son from a previous marriage... she got married to this guy who she's been dating for 4yrs (which is perfectly fine) except for the fact, the real reason for marring this guy is not coz she loves him but coz she didnt want to be 'the last to left on the shelf' meaning, the guy is there so she went for it! I think thats just crazy!!

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Maybe the "normal"(whatever that may mean) women don't give a rats ass about "Normal" guys and go with the "screwed up" guys and all the "normal" guys can do is go our with "screwed up" women?

Or maybe all the normal guys are ether taken or don't want a relationship...

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I agree. You could be "normal" surrounded by un-normal people, yet still be considered un-normal.

 

yes!! exactly!!---and just like there is right and wrong! (caring= good, and killing=wrong)...there is also normal (and i'm not going to use " " )!! and abnormal...it's time we stop denying this simple truth!! and stop trying to be so darn pc!!---we ALL have certain weird traits/idiosyncracies! but to deny that some are normal and some not is just abnormal in and of itself!!---there's different ways of looking at life/issues...but there needs to be a line drawn...going out naked and dancing on the street is NOT normal among present day society, however in some remote tropical jungle, it might just be the coolest way to celebrate!!----we define what normal is based on the type of environment/society/community we live in... if we want to enjoy the benefits of living in a civilized society we NEED to differentiate between normal and abnormal (on many levels/issues) otherwise there would be utter chaos!!! and personal responsibility will become extinct...

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But then what about "sheep mentality" ... like when one sheep goes over the hill, the rest all follow (which does happen in real life with real sheep and with real humans sometimes). When is one supposed to be "normal" and when is one supposed to think on his or her own and decide what is best regardless of what "normalcy" suggests.
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Or maybe all the normal guys are ether taken or don't want a relationship...

Well bye golly - thats not normal!!!!

 

Anyway - I'm not normal...(don't you dare call me normal!)...and I'm "taken"...LOL - makes me think of that comercial where the family wants a car and the all stacked up..."no the green one" etc....well I'll take the "normal" one she says...LOL

 

But seriously - a good question - is it "normal" to not want any kind of relationship? In some ways I don't think so...its like saying - I don't want/am notinterested in being loved...in some ways i think this is certainly abnormal. Now of curse there aree practical or situational conditions where this might make sense - as relationships are a bit of work, require certain time and attention etc...but to say - "no - i'm not interested in a relationship" just out of hand - with no qualifiers etc - well i do think tat this is abmnormal.

 

Now on Sips behalf - I agree - what really is "normal" is there such a thing? And "Bruin points out the cultural/situational differences in what might be defined as normal - OK - certainly...but it still seems to me that life is about relationships - it is our relationships - be they family or otherwise that make life important/special...and those who are so caught up into other things where relationships become secondary - or non-existant - well - to me - they are really missing out on what it means to live...

Edited by THOTH
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