Friendship

[Harut]

i would like to open a discusion on friendship.

 

what is a friendship?

who are "best friends"? what do they serve for?

friendship between man and woman?

lifetime friends?

what are the most occuring problems between friends?

 

i'm looking forward for an interesting discusion.

thank you

[Azat]

Best friends always bring a six pack of beer when thay come over.

 

Harut, you want to be my best friend?

[Twilight Bark]

Best friends are made when young. Especially when the two are facing an intimidating world together, and there are no "rational" considerations other than a primal compatibility of characters. Friendships made in elementary school, or maybe early days of high school may have a chance of becoming life-long friendships immune to the silly filtering process that we learn in later stages of life. If you don't have a good friend by the time you are 18, forget about truly altrustic, true friendship. However, you can always find a person with compatible outlook on life, and have a sort of "rational" friendship. It will never be the same as a friend from childhood, though.

[MosJan]

indz mi 2 shabat jamanak tveq yes mi shat bovandakalist patasxan em grelu.

 

Azat et menak menak uzum es @engeranas HArouti het ? CHES KARA

 

GAro MI hat Ushadir NAyi te incha katarvum michev yes patasxan grem

[Twilight Bark]

As an aside, most men appear to be uncomfortable with analyzing friendships, to the point of considering it a faux-pas to explicitly discuss it. In contrast, I think most women would find the subject a fine one to discuss. It would be most interesting to collect some opinions on that sub-topic as well.

[hasmiek]

heya,

 

yep, women tend to analyse their friendships way deeper then men do. It can sometimes even turn into a complicated political system wtith all kinds of variables which set the mood in a group of friends.

 

I guess the best friends one can have are the people who take you the way you are and with whom you don't have to be worried 'bout what you say and what you don't say. And who don't get angry with you if you don't call them for weeks.

[Hyeflyer]

I have to agree with the strongest friendships being formed at a young age.I do not associate wiyh anyone from high school and only one person from the second grade .This person and i shared many of the same hobbys and interests since our child hood and we are involved with each other on more of a familly then friends.My children call him uncle out of respect.I would give him the shirt off of my back and he would do the same.My grandfather used to tell me you were rich if you make only one true friend in your life.Many people go through life with out ever making a true friend.

[Harut]

sure. come over!

[Harut]

so you are saying that best friendships are made at younger ages.

i'm not willing to agree with you but this is quite true.

 

i'm almose 19, moved to US 3 years ago.

before coming here, i had so many friends. now when i think back, it's very interesting that i managed to make so many friends.

i had categories of friends:

friends with whom i was in mutual relationship

with whom i just went to partties

with whom i played soccer

etc....

and it was very easy to make and keep a friend.

 

but after moving here i find it very hard to make a friend. is it my age? or what?

i can talk to somebody for long time, keep in touch, but it never turns into a friendship.

[Harut]

now in general.

 

i don't think that good friend is the one who accapts you the way you are.

many friendships are formed because one of the friends initially takes steps to change the other.(and i don't mean it in negavite way)

i knew somebody who wasn't on the right way of life. he wasn't my friend. but i became his friend to change him, to put him on the right track. and he liked it.

 

friends don't always share common interests. they can be different, but yet can form a strong relationship, where they share and introduce to each other the thing they are good at.

my best friend hated soccer (i would kill anyone who said he/she hated soccer), but he was my best friend. there were many more things that we disagreed on, many essentiol issues such as family, education, life.(he was very "ARTURian" person, exact opposite of me)

 

RESPECT

in my opinion, this is the most important factor in friendship. people can be different, but when they respect each other they become friends.

best friends are the ones who care to listen to each other, who try to understand what the other one is saying.

best friends are the ones who treat each other as they would themselves.

[Harut]

friendship between man and woman.

 

i strongly believe that it is very possible.

the friendship is based on respect and understanding and not on common interests and viewpoints ( as i mentioned above).

so there cannot be any "natural" reason for man/boy and woman/girl not becoming best friends.

 

i also believe in friendship in group. a group of people can become friends. but there is one problem. one cannot possible respect number of people at exact level. so sooner or later some in the group develop better relationships and become closer. and if there is no one left alone in the group then the friendship would continue.

 

 

that's all. waiting....

[Sip]

Ba che hoknar Harut jan, eskan spaseluts?

 

Friendship is a VERY difficult thing to define. I won't bore you with the details of my life so far but it has so happened that at the critical ages for "finding friends" (according to Twilight), we happened to move from country to country ... to places where I did NOT know the language. So for a long time, I learned to live without any "friends" ... just myself, the family, and then those whom I "knew". And that has definitely played a BIG role in shaping me as the current person I am. I am not affraid of the "loneliness" that seems to terrify so many ... actually, quite the opposite ... it's very natural to me.

 

... but then at UCLA, it happened ... I met the LOVE of my life ... oops, no no no, NOT like that! Actually, this guy, ended up being a true friend (which I now use as a baseline to "define" friendship for myself!!!). It was quite an interesting situation but we ended up being in exactly the same classes for several quarters and then happened to (independently) find jobs at the exact same place where we worked for several years! I think this amazing set of events, as well as the fact that he was Armenian so a lot like me in many senses helped to establish a very deep friendship bond between us ...

 

To make a long story short, I ended up being the "kavor" at his wedding last year and I also ended up playing a critical role in helping him define and complete his MS thesis in electrical engineering

 

I still have NO idea why this friendship has worked! I guess there was "chemistry" between us But I have to say that his personality had a lot to do with making it work ... if it were up to me, I probably would not have pursued that friendship since at the time, I didn't see any "benefit" ... it didn't seem "natural" to me to relate to others. It's still difficult but I think I now have a much better understand of human social life and human interactions because of him.

[MosJan]

Hetaqrqira Harout jan verchin 7-8 amsva mej qez mot - iys hartsum - inchvor mi ban poxvela kartsiq ? mtatselakerp? ?

 

Movses

[Sip]

[MosJan]

Seaphan jan Harouti Patasxanits heto el grelu ban chka amen inch grets verchatsav el inch grem

grelu ban chka

 

inchpes Petik@ kaser - Harouty dimats XAr chka Aper

[MosJan]

de lav inchyeve portsem Ptasxanel - bayst HAyerenov - qanzi arden hognats em mek dzerqov greluts

 

Mi shat sireli barekam unem vor arden mot 80 tarekan e - mi qani amis araj xoseum eyinq @enkerneri masin yev na asats hetevyal@ - " yes arden 80n ants em yev indz hamarum em Baxtavor - qanzi jakatagir@ yeyv astavts in pargevel en 2 zabaknerov yev knojov - Baxtavor em nayev vortev unem @enkerner - iyo @enkerner - yev karor em hashvel n@rats yerku dzerqeris matneri vra - isk do ( asats indz )- qez baxtavor k@hamares yete unenas @enkerener tariner ants voronts karor es hashvbel get mek dzerki vra "

 

sa in barekami xosqen en - @enker - Hayeren bar@ shat Xorrimast e - @entrel+Ker = @enker / iysinqn !@entrum es vro kises ir het qo uraxcutyunt yev dar@t - kises ir amenavat varkyan@ yev tikunq kangnes n@ran - enturm es vro kisves qo anapazor hatsi ktor@ - mtsnes iren qo OJAKH - i vercho @enturm es kyanqi @nker - iyd nuyn OJAX@ karutselu yev tsux@ var pahelu hamar

 

hima kaseq te sa eli yerazanqneri girkn e @enkel voch ///

voch el Vardaguyn yerazner em tysnum sakayn yes inqs indz shat baxtavor em hamarel yev hamarum - qanzi unem @enkerner - voronq 10its avelin en - sakayn n@rantsits 6 indz hamar amenamotik@ yev amena anpoxarineli mardik en / @enrats het el yerel im amena Urax jamerin yev im amenavat jamin yerel en im korqin yerb Bjishkner@ indz @endhamen@ 5% Shans eyin talsi aprelu hamar.

ioys verchin 2 amis@ indzhamar antanelu djvar en yerel, himnakanum im dzerqis matneri patjarov - vorosh jamanak dzax dzerqs anogtagortseli er - hima el shat chem karror ogtvel - sakayn unem @enkerner - Yev Yexpiyr voronq im korqin en - anum en aiyn inch petq e - yev vorqanov vor karror en -

 

Baxtavor em nayev vortev unem Kyanqi @enker vorn indz haskanum e / jisht der iys internet asvats irrorutyan@ tsur e nayum - sakayn na imdz haskanum e - iysqan@ yev husov em yerb / yete 80 tarekan linem karoranam zuyg dzerqeris vra hashvel im @enkernerin - vorj te mahatsats

 

mi qani tariner araj haskatsa vro @enker@ - yev - tsanot@ da tarber baner en - djvarutyamb sakayn haskatsa - tekuz yev amen or tesnum es iyd anhatin - sakayn na qez @nker chi karror linel - yev yerbeq chi arjajana @entaniq OJAX mtnelu patvin...

MOvses

 

[ August 05, 2002, 04:43 PM: Message edited by: MosJan ]

[Harut]

Sip jan, i'm so happy that everything worked out just fine for you and your significant other... what the heck am i talking about here? never mind.

 

mah el du heriq chi hin-nekhats topicner mejtegh hanes?

 

[ August 06, 2002, 01:42 AM: Message edited by: Harut ]

[Harut]

ayo, shat baner en poxvel. mi qich gluxs karqavorvi, kportsem grel.

 

xosq chem talis vor heto Sip@ vres chxnda.

[sen_Vahan]

Hey, guys!

 

im kartsikov, @nkerog masin mish kareli e erazel. Karog es amborg kyankid @ntazkum erazel, bayz tenz el chgtnel iskakan @nker/ner. Es hishum em, vor paps shat lav ev nvirvaz @nkerner uner, voronz handipel er 1940-1945 tverin paterazmi @ntazkum - irar het ein krvel. erevi iskakan @nkerner mard karog e paterazmi gamank gtnel (hamozvaz chem), vorovhetev ahavor dgvar paymannerum erevi haskanum es, vor ayd mard@ iskapes shat tank e kez hamar.

 

Vahan

[MosJan]

Vahan jan / inchvor ter hamamit em qez het / bolors el kartsum em te misht yerazum enq @enkeroj kam @nkeruhu / iyd AMENALAVIN -sakayn iyn tor xathan chlini mer iysorva nviryal @enkernerin yev @enkerutyan yev patjar lini n@rants teragnahatelu inchvor mi dzev..

 

Movses

[MosJan]

hamamit em paterazmi yev krvi dashti het sakayn kan depqer yerb $$$ yev Kin@ nuynisk yerbayrnerin en bajan anum tshnami dartsnum - el ur mnats @enkernerin chanen.

 

Movses

[dragon]

Friendship is like love. You have to give more to get little. To keep your friendship working, means you never gonna ask in return. Giving is the key in every relation to last forever. My best friend is Jesus Christ. And this is why i like my friends and don't want to lose them. One of my best friends hurt me in deep. I forgived him, as Jesus said: ''sire ungert kou antcit bes''. I never wanted to lose my friends, cause I beleive in friendship. But I have to be careful to not get hurt again.

[sen_Vahan]

Mosjan,

i agree with what are saying. i meant more generally that in life people get good friends in extremal life situations. Bayz teragnahatel mer aysorva @nkernerin shat mets sxal kliner.

 

Da zdravstvuet drugba!

[Accelerated]

Ever since my return from Armenia, Ive been thinking of starting a discussion on Friendship, but then I found this thread, so I will just continue this one.

 

Anyhow, the trip was a real eye-opener for me....meeting all of my dads childhood/university friends. Friendship in Armenia is like brotherhood, or at least it used to be, like everything else it has probably changed, especially for the younger generation.

 

A few days before our departure me and dad went to 3rd Mass (Yerevan working class suburb), all the remaining (in Armenia) childhood friends of his had gathered, and I must say it was quite moving. One of them said to me: "Alik, hishoomes, dzer gnalootz arach menk havakvelenk dzer toon@, oo ko papan asets: 'ai tes Alik.......es im @nkernernen!', yes shat indz hpart @zgatsi!". I couldnt remmember the words, but I do remember the gathering in our shooshaband and THAT was 10 years ago!

 

I must say a person would be very lucky to make ONE such a friend (more like a brother) in the West, let alone a dozen. Here (as I am sure is in the States and Western Europe), even the concept of relation is almost non existant. People literally dont have any friends and/or relatives (you only get 10 people turning up to weddings) and leed IMO unfulfilling lives.

 

I have lived in Australia for over 10 years: I have never heard a song about friendship or brotherhood (I suspect, it simply wouldnt sell). Everything is about love/sex/money. Even Russians have popular songs on friendship. One such song I heard in Armenia and highly recommend you get your mits on (if you understand Russian), by Garik Krichevskiy called 'Privakzalnaya', about two friends, one is leaving to go somewhere, and they got together to have a drink and remember the past (childhood/teen years etc). A song like this wouldnt be understood in the West.

 

Thoughts, comments here.....

[shiner]

Accelerated,

You are very correct about everything. But let's analyze the reasons for this difference. Here (the West) people are more independent, private, and come from very diverse backgrounds. The independence and privacy are a direct result of the higher standard of living. Coming from diverse backgrounds is a result of the melting pot of ethnicities as well as the different upbringings of everyone (since there is a wider range of ideas, opinions and philosophies).

 

When you put the above together people are obviously going to be more distant and have more "formal" relationships, compared to an extremely homogenious society with a much lower standard of living.