Varduhi Posted November 26, 2002 Report Share Posted November 26, 2002 Hey everyone!!! i just whant to know what you believe in Love merriages or Arranged Marriages? and WHY? NO argueing, and if you dont have normal answer i would appruciate if you dont respond. ( i am just trying not to have arguments in this topic.) Take care......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted November 26, 2002 Report Share Posted November 26, 2002 Well, since with arranged marriages there is a possibility of this: http://zr2.cs.ucla.edu/hf/ugly.jpg I think I'll take my chance with love marriages. But then on second thought, maybe I'll go with "rich" marriages and find a woman that can buy me several computers and cars and I wouldn't have to work! That would be the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QRISTINE Posted November 26, 2002 Report Share Posted November 26, 2002 Hi Varduhi I personally think people should marry the person they love of course they still have to consider their parents opinion because like it sayed love is blind so most of the time youths make mstakes when they are in love so in that case will be nice to consider your parents opinions otherwise you might regret it later on. But I belive in love marriges because I dont even think it is logical to force or arrange marrige for someone who has no affection feeling for the person they are going to be married with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted November 26, 2002 Report Share Posted November 26, 2002 Good points Qristine - well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted November 27, 2002 Report Share Posted November 27, 2002 Well Varduhi - do you wish for an arranged marraige for yourself or would you rather marry someone whom you love? The experiences in my family of arranged marriages have generally not been good ones (far from it). My Grandmother fled her home/family/country at the age of 16 to avoid an arranged marriage to a boy whom she did not love (they had been betrothed since the age of 2). She left an almost assured life of oppulence to flee to nations unknown, with a very uncertain future, and to eventually marry her love - a steel worker - (originally from a poor village) and raise 6 children in near poverty. Thus is love stronger then tradition. One of her daughters agreed to an arranged marriage. Her husband physically and mentally abused her throught their entire marriage - eventually driving my happy go lucky once fun Aunt into a nervous wreck and then into a mental institution. She often wanted to leave him - once actually running away - but always returned in the end out of a sene of duty and tradition. So please - this issue of arranged mariages - I understand why people desire/require them - becuse they wish the women to never have the oppurtunity to go out and meet people and make choices on their own. This strikes me as a form of slavery. If I have missed something please by all means make the case. [ November 26, 2002, 12:04 PM: Message edited by: THOTH ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varduhi Posted November 27, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2002 THOTH i couldnt agree more with you if i was in your position but in my case its a different story. i have relatives who were arrenged married and they still are together (every single one of them) and are very happy family. But if you want to really know what i think well i dont believe either one of them thats because i have never been in love and have never been forced to marry someone i dont like. Bye..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted November 27, 2002 Report Share Posted November 27, 2002 Well yes you can say that - but would you really want to be told who you must marry? I sure wouldn't have imagining who my folks might of thought might have been a good girl for me! LOL But in a sense ou are correct and love can develop from an arranged marriage as well. (and coversly people fall "out" of love and/or change and their expectations/desires cahnge etc - so we see many marraiges don't work out for a variety of reasons) However arranged marraige is a solution made for a self-imposed problem. IMO there should be no need for relatives and such to decide something that affects the individuals entire rest of their life - in a most major sort of way... [ November 26, 2002, 12:51 PM: Message edited by: THOTH ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varduhi Posted November 28, 2002 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2002 hi everyone Well how about this.... What if your parents really-really like the person your going out with but your not sure if you will have a future with that person then what would you do. Would you give it a try because your parents really really likes that person? or would you ignore what your parents say and follow your heart? Take care... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nairi Posted November 28, 2002 Report Share Posted November 28, 2002 quote:Originally posted by Sip:But then on second thought, maybe I'll go with "rich" marriages and find a woman that can buy me several computers and cars and I wouldn't have to work! That would be the best.You wish Sipan! That's not what men were made for. YOU provide, WE enjoy! (hope you had a nice trip ) Varduhi jan, I'll go with arranged marriages: no more worries about finding love... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted November 29, 2002 Report Share Posted November 29, 2002 Yah I know ... it's mostly wishing ... but the barsiks have a very nice saying about how it's ok for young people to keep wishing By the way, what you said reminded me of this quote from a buddy of mine ... he is married and has a couple of kids and loves to work on his car. This is what he says: "An understanding wife is more valuable than money - you could have thousands of dollars for a project, but you'd be willing to give it all to stop the nagging" Trip went GREAT by the way... thanks for asking. [ November 28, 2002, 06:06 PM: Message edited by: Sip ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ara Posted January 30, 2003 Report Share Posted January 30, 2003 Hello all. Well in my opinion marriage should be based on your feelings for someone not wether or not your parents agree with it. If you "click" with your partner then thats great, thats the way to go. They say that best friends make the best lovers (and i guess marriage comes after that ) im not sure im 19 so im new to some things, but ive been around. just adding my 2 cents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meaghan Posted September 7, 2003 Report Share Posted September 7, 2003 Hey... how does everyone feel about marriges between armenians and a different race? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
America-Hye Posted September 7, 2003 Report Share Posted September 7, 2003 Meaghan, Life is so short. Go with what makes you happy. My Mother was in love with with an Irish-American guy in junior college. Her brothers threatened him that they would beat him up if he didn't get lost. Ten years later she married my father, an Armenian. They did not have a happy marriage, even seperated a few times.I also married an Armenian. It was good only one year, then was also a miserable marriage. Pursue happiness first. Raise the kids with a sense of their Armenian heritage though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 7, 2003 Report Share Posted September 7, 2003 Meaghan, Life is so short. Go with what makes you happy. My Mother was in love with with an Irish-American guy in junior college. Her brothers threatened him that they would beat him up if he didn't get lost. Ten years later she married my father, an Armenian. They did not have a happy marriage, even seperated a few times.I also married an Armenian. It was good only one year, then was also a miserable marriage. Pursue happiness first. Raise the kids with a sense of their Armenian heritage though. We know Hagarah, We know!!!! Meaghan Welcome to the Forum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meaghan Posted September 7, 2003 Report Share Posted September 7, 2003 Well see... I am the one that is white. My boyfriend of 3 YEARS is armenian. His parents WILL NOT warm up to me they don't like me at all! They call me all the time and tell me not to be with their son. When we went to LA I met his aunt, She loved me! She also told me his parents are really old fashioned! We want to get married, and I love him more than I could ever say, but I don't think I can marry into a family that won't accept me! Will they ever warm up to me? Thanks,Meg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
America-Hye Posted September 7, 2003 Report Share Posted September 7, 2003 Meaghan, They would prefer him to marry an Armenian. Much of this is wrapped up in what we Armenians have endured over the centuries at the hands of the Turks and other conquerers. They DO want his happiness, however, and they DO want to have grandchildren. Take a college class in Armenian History, or if your local schools do not offer one, take it in the summer at UCLA in LA. Learn more about his culture and they will embrace you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meaghan Posted September 7, 2003 Report Share Posted September 7, 2003 I do try very hard for them to accept me... every thing I know how. I've even been learning armenian... and I talk to his mom in armenian... still it seems everything I do for Allen(my boyfriend) and his parents... that it is never good enough for them. And his mom even told me to let him find someone his own race, do you have anything else I might be able to do? Thanks, Meg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted September 7, 2003 Report Share Posted September 7, 2003 I hate to give advice on love to someone who is as serious as you are, but I think the pressure needs to be on your boyfriend. You have done all that is possible for you to do, I think Allen needs to stand up and grow up and tell his parents what he wants to do and that they should back off the whole "find a nice Armenian girl" thing. If he does not then he is just hiding behind his mommy and daddy and is not interested in the marriage as well. (I like to say that I am no expert in the love and Marriage arena and one should probably take my advice as just a suggestion from a fool who has never been married) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
America-Hye Posted September 7, 2003 Report Share Posted September 7, 2003 At first, my Mom was very upset that my brother married a Jewish girl and converted to Judiasm. After my nephew was born, she saw what a great kid was born and became very comfortable with all this. She was SO thrilled when I married an Armenian after not dating an Armenian in 15 years, yet realized soon that my wife was from a different word than we were. Those rich Armenians are SO, SO isolated from what goes on in the real world. Neiman Marcus and Nordstoms are really a Disneyland for shoppers! For an Armenian boy to marry an Armenian girl will not necessarily bring a successsful marriage. After your children are born, your in-laws will come to accept you, especially if you go to an Armenian Church whether it is a Armeniann Gregorian, Armenian Catholic or Armenian Protestant Evangelical one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 I do try very hard for them to accept me... every thing I know how. I've even been learning armenian... and I talk to his mom in armenian... still it seems everything I do for Allen(my boyfriend) and his parents... that it is never good enough for them. And his mom even told me to let him find someone his own race, do you have anything else I might be able to do? Thanks, Meg Wow! You learned Armenian! thats something - so obviously you really love this guy and are serious (hope the reverse is also true). And obviously if you two have such a love/comitment to each other you shouldn't care what others think - its their problem and they will just have to learn to accept you (you sound like a nice gal - so shouldn't be too difficult)...if not - well its their problem - and I hope Allen relizes this - and alos is able to live for himslef and not just to please his parents & such. Anyway - i think they will come around...it just may take some time. Hope it works out for you (two)... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted September 8, 2003 Report Share Posted September 8, 2003 (I like to say that I am no expert in the love and Marriage arena and one should probably take my advice as just a suggestion from a fool who has never been married) Wise fool... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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