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the ideal lover? Did I meet him, already?


nairakev

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I know this is a scary issue for many of us!

But I've got an impression that as often I change my bed-time friends, as often I find myself in front of a question: Did you meet him or not, your ideal lover?

And I have different answers each time.

When I asked first time this question: "I said, yes you did! It was him!" Since that I cannot stop doubting that statement. And as far I go as often I doubt!

I wonder if there some folks who met already their ideal lover? If they did, then the question will be "How many times you have doubted it?" (by evoking both: sentimental and sexual aspects)

 

[ May 30, 2001: Message edited by: naira ]

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This is an interesting (theoretical) question. To answer it (I believe) you must first ask yourself - am I the same me now as before as I will be and are my wants/needs also always the same. Then of course does there exisit someone who will also change to reflect such - to keep pace as it were...or are you asking only considering the immediate "now"...or is your question of a simpler nature? Are you contemplating a state of sensual/physical/mental perfection and what person might facilitate your reaching such and who you might also respond to in like manner (and if your sufficiently narcistic perhaps you only need [or could tolerate only] yourself for such...)...or maybe you are considering this on a level simpler still (but perhaps I won't go there...here)...and you did focus on "lover" not partner...as these two could certainly be different...and as I first conjectured - much of this is in the theoretical..as a Russian you should be able to appreciate such...though perhaps you are too young to have "known" Communism....
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Point #1: Let me bring you all down to earth (as much as I'm in seventh heaven myself, i gotta recognize reality...lol)...There is NO such thing as an ideal...Reality and all things ideal cannot coexist. Therefore, you can never have an IDEAL anybody.

 

That said,

 

Point #2: I know "doubt". Doubt is scary. It's torturous. I don't like doubt. Lol, I think I'm making myself clear. Anyway, any time you have doubt, you can't have "ideal".

 

Since you speak of "bed time friends" (very cute, I have to admit), I'm assuming you mean ideal lover as in ideal in bed. But I wouldn't limit the discussion like that.

 

To answer your question, yes I have met my "ideal" guy (I have no doubts), as ideal as they get anyway seeing as how I don't believe in the concept of "ideal". I prefer compatible. There, I can breathe now lol , much more realistic and much more "me"...

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quote:
Originally posted by Gayane:
Point #1: Let me bring you all down to earth (as much as I'm in seventh heaven myself, i gotta recognize reality...lol)...There is NO such thing as an ideal...Reality and all things ideal cannot coexist. Therefore, you can never have an IDEAL anybody.

That said,

Point #2: I know "doubt". Doubt is scary. It's torturous. I don't like doubt. Lol, I think I'm making myself clear. Anyway, any time you have doubt, you can't have "ideal".

Since you speak of "bed time friends" (very cute, I have to admit), I'm assuming you mean ideal lover as in ideal in bed. But I wouldn't limit the discussion like that.

To answer your question, yes I have met my "ideal" guy (I have no doubts), as ideal as they get anyway seeing as how I don't believe in the concept of "ideal". I prefer compatible. There, I can breathe now lol , much more realistic and much more "me"...



What about a stranger you meet, and you berely know him? Then you feel like this guy makes your heart beat very fast...very...very...fast. Well, I'm avoiding further details...just a sober discussion... Then you have a great experience (like making love non-stop everywhere)... and there comes the moment when you say, oh boy, this is the ideal lover!
Didn't it happen to you? To question yourself after each man. When you ask yourself: "Well the last time I was saying that this guy was my ideal lover? Hmm..."
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Ideal lover... Yes, you can find him/her if you are lucky enough... Ideal lover is the one who matches about 60-70% with the personality that you have in your fantasies...The rest is the life, reality, being together, sharing all the good and bad time and enjoying the challenge of life.

 

Ideal lover is the one who can renew himself and when you meet him/her, you must feel that you have to discover something new in him/her, even you think that you already know him/her very deeply, more than yourself sometimes...

 

But before you judge the other, ask yourself first if you can be the ideal lover for him or her...

 

I'm

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quote:
Originally posted by dragon:
Ideal lover is the one who matches about 60-70% with the personality that you have in your fantasies...

Dragon, sorry, I meant 100%. Less than 0,1111111111% isn't ideal anymore for me!

[ June 07, 2001: Message edited by: naira ]
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