gamavor Posted June 8, 2001 Report Share Posted June 8, 2001 Only in America!! 1. Only in America....Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair] 2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary, Details inside".[Evidently, the shoplifter special] 3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." [And that would be how...?] 4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost!" [but it's just a suggestion] 5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down". [Oops, too late!] 6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating". [As sure as night follows the day . .. .] 7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". [but wouldn't this save even more time?] 8. On Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.] 9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness" [One wouldhope] 10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". [As opposed to what?] 11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". [i gotta admit, I'm curious]. 12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH] 13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Step 1: open packet. Step 2: eat nuts." Step 3: Fly Delta 14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". [i don't blame the company. I do blame parents for thisone!] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted June 9, 2001 Report Share Posted June 9, 2001 LOL (guilty as charged)...and all true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon Posted June 9, 2001 Report Share Posted June 9, 2001 Mi ergo dari arrach yerp LA-um man eyi gali arrachi ankam, imatsa vor undegh hayeren terteru krete polorn el tsri en pajanvoun. Ergrort orn isg mda mi hayi khanout, vertsretsi mi kani tert, payts...Sadanan eli mukhtets...ba yete poghov a...Ouremun, modetsa khanouti amenasiroun aghchgan ou mi layn jbid ktsadz peranis, tsouyts dvi tseris tertern ou` ''anvjar a''???Aghchigu jubdalov klkhayin mi ''voch'' dvets ou anoush-anoush` ''che, tsri e'' zrnkats... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted June 9, 2001 Report Share Posted June 9, 2001 quote:Originally posted by Berj:The pens are chained to prevent them from rolling down the counters!They still roll down Berj and little children pull on the chain when they get borred Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon Posted June 9, 2001 Report Share Posted June 9, 2001 Babe, imatsir, dnits tours es knelou es or! Inchi hamar pan chasir ints es aghchga masin??? MRS. DRAGON! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragon Posted June 9, 2001 Report Share Posted June 9, 2001 Lav, vor dents es ouzoum, yes el gu gnam Vartanoushi mod...knelou... Â Dragon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berj Posted June 9, 2001 Report Share Posted June 9, 2001 quote:Originally posted by gamavor:5.Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. The pens are chained to prevent them from rolling down the counters! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThornyRose Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 quote:Originally posted by gamavor:4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a DIET coke. That sounds like my cousin who eats three carbohydrates a meal and then drinks all these dumb and utterly disgusting-tasting herbal teas and "thyme water"... Stupid. She's like a human blimp... and counting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyank Posted June 18, 2001 Report Share Posted June 18, 2001 quote:Originally posted by gamavor:13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Step 1: open packet. Step 2: eat nuts." Sad isn't it? Well, still its all true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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