Anileve Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 I want to start a discussion on office management and the nuisances of a workplace. Currently my job has become unbearable and I am quite overqualified for it, so I guess it time to move. However no matter how much you want to free yourself from oppression there is always a lesson to be learned about human nature and the imposed system of authority and socialization. One of my coworkers is without an exaggeration a “single white (Hispanic) female” if you have seen the movie. At first it was flattering but later it became creepy. She emulated me to a thread of the fabric her clothes is made of. I wore red lipstick, she would start wearing one, eyeliner, boots, jeans, smile, laugh, flirting with the same men that I am friends with, walk, expressions, jewelry, shoes, nail polish. I can’t tell you how obscene it is, to the point that she got her boobs done to match my size….that was absolutely shocking. But with her total infatuation with me, she turned out to be an envious backstabber. Really, really surreal, I don’t know if any of you had a similar experience. On the other hand my supervisor… they hired a new supervisor for our department, a young female who had no managerial experience prior to coming here, and she inherited 5 people. She once told me just when she started that she didn’t want to be a supervisor but it came with this position, so she took it. She didn’t have to tell me, it became pretty clear as the time went on. I was quite stupid and naive, because I liked her in the beginning and tried to help her situate. I advised her, helped her with projects and basically supported her. Until I learned that she started using me to get what she needed. Often she would assign tasks to me that she was responsible for and after I would find out from the officials and other sources, she would use that information to gain a position of authority. She started asking me questions pertaining to her job, but phrasing them pretending that she knew everything and she was just curious about my methods of doing it. She once snaps at me quite often and says very condescending things. I realized she used me and never gave me credit and never thanked me, during my review she sacked me by giving me an average review saying that I am a good worker, but I need guidance and she can’t recommend me for a promotion, and that I need to be involved in other projects to be considered. I basically do her entire job and trained her and helped her get ahead. However one incident really blew me away when I almost lost it. I was working on a project in collaboration with the government to find out about a database for easier collection of statistics which I had to do for her a year ago, I wanted to find a more efficient way to make all of our functions more precise. I contacted DC and finally through personal research came across a resource which would revolutionize the way we do things here. Well, by confusion the gov. official contacted her and informed her of the resource and instructed her on how to do certain things and told her to contact me to show me as well. By that time I discovered it through research and my interactions, I received a call from the same person reprimanding me for not checking with my supervisor first, claiming that when she spoke to my supervisor she new all about that database. I was stunned and furious at the same time, I insisted that she didn’t and the reason I did the research was to find ways to make our work more efficient. The woman was quite adamant and displeased that I didn’t check with my superior and insisted that my supervisor said that she knew all about it. I hung the phone in total fury and despair. My supervisor never came to me to “show me” or inform me of the conversation. My 2 days of work just landed in her lap she found a groundbreaking system that the person before her didn’t know about. Later I caught her and questioned her about the conversation, she stuttered a little bit and said that there was a confusion because they thought that I was in charge. In her words “There was some confusion but I guess something good came out of all of this, I showed the director the system and she didn’t know about it.” I said, “I guess it’s good that we all learned something new today,” she said, “Yes, I didn’t know and neither did the director, so next time when I am conducting statistics this will make things much easier.” She turned around and left. I found out that she took the entire credit for introducing the system and database and completely concealed my name. I was reprimanded by Washington DC for not checking with my superior who lied to them and said she new about it. And I was screwed by my supervisor who took all of my work and presented as her own, it basically landed in her lap, after I did so much work, she got a call and got everything I worked for. I realized that she is the highest level of a user, one who is scared to lose her job. One who uses and later tries to get the person she used in trouble so that they don’t expose her in the future. She has singled me out as the person she picks on all the time. I am certain now that she has no experience, she doesn’t know her job, she doesn’t supervise our department, and she is scared, scared that her position will be threatened. She found a person who can educate her on everything and she learned the way to manipulate me and use me to her advantage. Recently she used my name in collaboration with a lie, and I was confronted by one of the superiors. She is also one of those overly friendly people who look like they are a ticking time bomb, ready to explode. They smile and lie through their teeth and backstab you when you least expect it. I approached the director who is our ex-supervisor; she is one of those weak managers who lets chaos roam because she is afraid of confrontations. She is the one who hired my supervisor in the first place. I explained the situation. She said we all have to talk and there is a clear miscommunication. She is too weak and ineffective as a manager, that’s why our department has gotten out of control. I know I have to leave and I started looking. However what puzzles me is the behavior of so called managers. Do managers or bosses generally feel threatened by workers who possess possibly more knowledge then them? I also noticed that they don’t liked being asked complex questions they don’t have answers to, they use “You ask too many questions, thus you need supervision” rhetoric to discourage you from asking questions they can’t answer. They use people and take the credit to show others their knowledge. I supervised a few people and I am very particular about my job and knowing everything I can about it, I am not comfortable being limited in my knowledge. When I get a worker who brings up problems or questions to me which I didn’t know about I reach the level of exhilaration, I love when people want to do more, want to know more, want to solve problems, I love when people tried to do something out of their initial assignment. It shows a working brain, I’ve noticed this is not a common feeling among supervisors. What were some of your experiences and observations? Have you encountered similar problems? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 What you are going through is a typical human condition, it happens more in female to female situations than others but never the less it's out there on a daily basis. Your supervisors behavior the way you described it is a very common occurance with people who lack the knowledge and the managerial skills to get the best out of their workers. They are also threatened by those employees who have the knowledge hence they try to put you down whenever they can, these kind of managers are like con artists who hide their inabilities and portray themselves as able on others account. My advise to you is to keep records of your activities e.g. E-mails, correspondences for future refferences, you can also cc your e-mails to others who are involved this way she can't take claim to your work, have more interaction with her boss and keep him/her informed about the ongoings of the projects. You can easily expose your supervisor by planning ahead of time and by informing her boss about the project achievements ahead of time than her and when she presents that as hers the boss will know the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 A sad manifestation of Peter principle. Yervant's suggestions are all good - as long as you are isolated under her shadow, you are vulnerable. This type of situation happens more often in larger companies I find; "politics" arise less frequently in smaller firms (but advancement potential & opportunities areis sadly less common as well). Stay organised, document everything, and communicate well with other outside your team. People of her caliber (by the sounds of it) succeed in shooting themselves in the foot sooner rather than later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 I don't think I have ever been in a situtation of anyone trying to look like me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 I don't think I have ever been in a situtation of anyone trying to look like me With a hat like that, who would want to look like you Sorry Anileve off topic couldn't help myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted September 21, 2007 Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Oh dear, yes, I remember the movie. Creeps. Thank goodness I am not easy to copy either - takes a lot more commitment than just the hair, make-up, and clothes. (Courage for permanent make-up?) Don't know what to say, except that it sucks. And the situation with training her and helping her out shows you are kind. I don't know if you have any other choice in the matter, but given the environment, I'd say don't be (kind) - don't overextend yourself. In the previous workplace there was a team like that, and one girl in particular went through pretty much similar things like yours with her team leader. In the end they couldn't even look each other in the face. It's better to be cautious and reserved, IMO. Time, indeed, tells a lot, and it's best to piecemeal some things. Never underestimate the power of the element of surprise. I was lucky in the previous workplace with my supervisor. At least he wasn't an arse. I have a friend in another company who is even luckier, in that her team all go on vacation with theirs, but that is another extreme. And indeed most managers, I think, are afraid of talented, knowledgeable underlings. It takes character to know in a position like that that you should be empowering the employee, not dissing them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted September 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 What you are going through is a typical human condition, it happens more in female to female situations than others but never the less it's out there on a daily basis. Your supervisors behavior the way you described it is a very common occurance with people who lack the knowledge and the managerial skills to get the best out of their workers. They are also threatened by those employees who have the knowledge hence they try to put you down whenever they can, these kind of managers are like con artists who hide their inabilities and portray themselves as able on others account. My advise to you is to keep records of your activities e.g. E-mails, correspondences for future refferences, you can also cc your e-mails to others who are involved this way she can't take claim to your work, have more interaction with her boss and keep him/her informed about the ongoings of the projects. You can easily expose your supervisor by planning ahead of time and by informing her boss about the project achievements ahead of time than her and when she presents that as hers the boss will know the truth. It's interesting that you mentioned that... My husband works in an all guy environment, they joke, curse, chat about sports and don't get too personal. It's a very different setting, they don't bicker and act jealous and mimic each other. Every job I've ever held there was always a female to female problem. Women have to learn to separate their personal lives from the workplace, and many have difficulty doing just that. Once I found out the nature of my supervisor's character I started keeping records of everything. I am just not very clever with conniving individuals, I guess I am afraid of the trait. You made a great point, that was a huge mistake on my behalf, I didn't let my boss know about the project before hand, thus it was easy for my supervisor to claim it as her own. I did keep all of my email exchanges though. Next time that's exactly what I will do. If I would have done it the situation would have been very different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted September 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 A sad manifestation of Peter principle. Yervant's suggestions are all good - as long as you are isolated under her shadow, you are vulnerable. This type of situation happens more often in larger companies I find; "politics" arise less frequently in smaller firms (but advancement potential & opportunities areis sadly less common as well). Stay organised, document everything, and communicate well with other outside your team. People of her caliber (by the sounds of it) succeed in shooting themselves in the foot sooner rather than later. Vavachka, I have waited for that moment for some time, but she is very clever, paranoid people slip up at some point but not before they do some serious damage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted September 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 I don't think I have ever been in a situtation of anyone trying to look like me At one point I tried looking like you, but despite my best efforts, facial hair refused to grow on my chiseled chin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted September 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 21, 2007 Oh dear, yes, I remember the movie. Creeps. Thank goodness I am not easy to copy either - takes a lot more commitment than just the hair, make-up, and clothes. (Courage for permanent make-up?) Don't know what to say, except that it sucks. And the situation with training her and helping her out shows you are kind. I don't know if you have any other choice in the matter, but given the environment, I'd say don't be (kind) - don't overextend yourself. In the previous workplace there was a team like that, and one girl in particular went through pretty much similar things like yours with her team leader. In the end they couldn't even look each other in the face. It's better to be cautious and reserved, IMO. Time, indeed, tells a lot, and it's best to piecemeal some things. Never underestimate the power of the element of surprise. I was lucky in the previous workplace with my supervisor. At least he wasn't an arse. I have a friend in another company who is even luckier, in that her team all go on vacation with theirs, but that is another extreme. And indeed most managers, I think, are afraid of talented, knowledgeable underlings. It takes character to know in a position like that that you should be empowering the employee, not dissing them. I think it's rather easy to mimic someone's style, however what those people can't understand is that in order to really be identical one must adopt ones principles and values. And if they would, they wouldn't try to mimic you so much in the first place. I find that it's most commonly found in women who are unsure about their identity and who are very insecure. My coworker recently divorced her husband who from the beginning of their relationship instructed her on what to wear and how to look and what to do. She basically grew up never establishing herself as an identity and now at the age of 35 she is set to discover it, but she thinks that imitating someone else is the way to that discovery. I don't feel sorry for her, but she is a fool. Thanks for your kind words, it's not my kindness it's my naiveness. I open up to people very easily, I don't conceal and inflate self importance in front of others, I give too much credit to others and play down compliments. It's time I learn to defend myself and be a little more clever. Again, it's my strong belief that women who are very unhappy and insecure tend to be quite vicious. I had a similar situation with a woman who was in her 40's and married and had children; she started mimicking me in every way. I went to gym, so did she, I listened to certain music so did she. But she hated my guts, but when I left she left too. It's so strange because you know me, I am all for women's "empowerment." But I am starting to realize that many women are just plain idiots, not the once here of course.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted September 22, 2007 Report Share Posted September 22, 2007 when I read the subject line I thought you guys were talking about me again... Evul jan, I feel your pain and I too have had the opportunity to work for managers who are not competent enough and while the suggestions by Yervant and Vava are great, I would say the best thing you can do for your self in most cases like yours is to get out of there. If your skill set is not appreciated by your direct manager, move on. F them. its their loss. Unless your company is so great that you want to stay there for a LONG time. and even in that case you can try to move to another department. The other thing to do is to keep other managers of the work you are doing in a social setting so she cannot come back to you and repremand you for having "meetings" with other managers without her "permission". You can always go to lunch and coffee and mention the great stuff you are working on to others such that when you boss mentioned it to them in official settings they say that they know about the project because they knew you were working on it. On another note I do have to say that I personally have no issues with my employees knowing much more than I. In fact they all can kick my ars when it comes to technology. My job is not to tell them how to do things but to help them to make the right decisions and to unblock them from getting their job done and to be there for all kinds of support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emil Posted September 22, 2007 Report Share Posted September 22, 2007 So how big did she get her boobs done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 25, 2007 Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 to the point that she got her boobs done to match my size This is shocking and absolutely disrespectful on her part! Shame on her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghos Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 My 5 cents: look for a job somewhere else. 5 cents more: the most competitive animal in nature is the female version of humans. another 5 cents: could you post pictures of both so we could judge how far this has gone to? ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 My 5 cents: look for a job somewhere else. 5 cents more: the most competitive animal in nature is the female version of humans. another 5 cents: could you post pictures of both so we could judge how far this has gone to? ) 5 cents? The cost has gone up huh! Boghos, you have fallen victim to inflation. Whatever happened to 2 cents, erkou luma, երկու լումա? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghos Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 5 cents? The cost has gone up huh! Boghos, you have fallen victim to inflation. Whatever happened to 2 cents, erkou luma, երկու լումա? Inflation? You can´t get a NY decent hotel room for under $500!Sure soon that will be about 200 Euros or 300 Canadian dollars but still... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted November 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2007 Ok, obviously the boob comment was a mistake, I was counting on mature readers. I kindly ask the mods to edit all comments referring to my original statement. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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