The marriage "proposal" ceremony?!

[Sip]

Anyone care to explain what's all the deal about the getting on one knee, pulling out a ring, and asking "THE QUESTION"? Why? What's that all about?

 

Isn't marriage a very serious step in life ... a serious BOND between two PEOPLE? Thus, shouldn't it be discussed to great detail and analyzed to unbelievable extents before it's agreed to?

 

So what's the deal with the "movie" verion, getting on one knee and "popping" the question? Have you heard women use the term "he popped the question"? Isn't that just a bit disturbing to you?

 

What's the deal with the "Holywood" portrayal of what I call the "marriage proposal ceremony" and how common is it in real life? What about among Armenians? Do you think it should be done that way?

[Harut]

Sip, i don't think that this "ceremony" is popular among Armenians.

i think most of the Armenians still go through the Armenian marriage ceremony, which is, you know, man and his parents going woman's house "dzerq@ xndrelu"(for asking her hand) from her parents. this is still practiced by the majority, even though nowadays many couples decide to marry long before that ceremony takes place.

 

unless the woman is old enough, that is probably 30 and over.

[Azat]

Sip,

I think that os one of the most cool parts of the whole thing. The proposal, that is.

 

My best friend met his wife in Napa at a bike ride in the wine country. They went to Silveroak winery and had a glass of wine and their relationship started from there.

 

3 years later when they were both ready to get married, they were going to fly to Madison for the holidays. He was able to get them both upgraded to first class. Half way there he tool out a bottle of Silveroak from his carryon with a ribbon on it. Hands it over to the wife to be and when she untied the ribbon she found a ring in the ribbon. At which time he got on his knees and proposed. And they celebrated all the way to home.

[hyebruin]

That is sooo beautiful! I just want to know is your friend Armenian? Somehow I cannot picture too many Armenian guys getting down on one knee nor being so creative and romantic (sighhhhh!) So beautiful...I'll cry now!!! did I say cry? I mean aaaah! what a beautiful love story! (I really mean it!) Thanks I wonder why I chose pink....color of love maybe...'cause I know hot red is reserved for passion and....well, you get it!

[Azat]

Hey Bruin, he is Irish on one side of his family and German on the other.

 

Actually couple of years back we were all at a wine tasting all together and he told this whole story to the guys who runt he Silveroak winery and they gave him 3 bottles of free wine. They also published their story in their newsletter. I think(I am not sure) even American had a small blip about the whole story in the AA magazine a while back.

 

The good news is whenever they drink that wine it has special memories assigned with it, the bad news is it is a fairly expansive wine($80 a bottle) so anniversary's are never too cheep as you can't take her to Denny's for a Grand Slam breakfast with Silveroak.

[Sip]

Here's another "pink" smilie: http://zr2.cs.ucla.edu/Sip/zr2/gay.gif

 

Azat, "AA" magazine? It's not the AA I'm thinking of is it?

[MosJan]

Bari luys Jorovurd

 

Shipahan jan ??? apa mi ester ary

es inch baner es asum ??? es chlini te Jamanakna ???

 

Seaphan jan talk to me Ay tra xosa ya gites che gaxtni ches karror pahel

 

Azat mi hat bampi - es tri xelq@ glux@ ga - uzuma chqi propoz ani ap -

 

lam mi surj xmem het k@gam -

 

gluxs tsavuam sarsapeli

[Azat]

American Airlines - AA. Although being Irish he probably automatically can qualify for the other AA as well.

[Harut]

just what the heck is the name of this smilie!!!

 

i wasn't expecting that from you Sip.

[Sip]

Gaxtni maxtni cheka mosjan! Der yes pesakvoghe chem ... mi yeresun, karasun dari heto, gutse ... bayts hima ---> der "Azat", "ankax" Sipen em u ke mnam.

 

 

Bayts yes lriv chem karoghanum padkeratsnel vor inchpes meke karogh e mi dzngi vra choki yev "propose" ani? Inchpes ke lini? Anhaskanali ban e.

[Sip]

Well, Harut jan, that's the first thing that comes to my mind when I see the color "pink" http://zr2.cs.ucla.edu/Sip/zr2/barf.gif

[Rubo]

Too bad you guys Azat, Sip ,Domino are not here in Boston, I got my cousin here beatiful lloooney Armenian girl and nobody to date:(

She is gorgeous beatiful black eyes,slender body...exotic looking...ooh well I know more single Armenian girls here then guys, I guess there is a shortage of quality guys.I wished I was single again...sigh

[Sip]

Hmmmm ... just checked, it's only 2987.69 miles ... if I leave now, I can be there in about 48 hours ... I may stop in Vegas for a few hours but the rest of the way, is going to be fairly boring ... it'll probably take about 60 hours with stops to get there. Not bad at all

 

Oh, you did say exotic looking huh? Ok, I guess I could push it a bit and be there in about 50 hours

[MosJan]

Seaphajan yes et korrmerum krrvel em lav gitem / ari yes el gam / inch kases ??? / mek el tesar qavor petq ga / vka /

qo masin lav lav baner kasem aper / Azniv Xosq /

[Azat]

Oh Oh, I forgot to mention one more.

 

One of my good friends proposed during a Laker game with the help of Chick Hearn few(7-8) years back. He had arranged for Chick to pop the question on TV and also on the big screens at the Forum. They were at the game when Chick did the announcement and were shown on old PrimeTicket channel.

 

HyeBruin, no he is not an Armenian either.

[QRISTINE]

Anyone care to explain what's all the deal about the getting on one knee, pulling out a ring, and asking "THE QUESTION"? Why? What's that all about?

 

There aren't rules set in stone that predefine what a proposal is. But there should be. Just like many things in life, there are things that resemble proposals, but aren't, and the confusion can cause a lot of trouble. But first let me lay down my own rules for proposals, and then I'll explain my reasoning behind them.

 

1. You must have a ring when proposing.

2. You must get down on one knee.

3. You shouldn't do it in a public place where the proposal is the "main event."

 

Now let me explain why I think these rules should be followed (though there are exceptions, two out of three is your best bet.) First, the rule of having a ring. Most guys I know don't see why the ring is so necessary if the proposal is sincere. This is true. If the proposal is completely sincere and thought out, then technically the ring is a technicality. But usually the ring is actually a sign that the proposal is sincere, and planned. Why? Because a true proposal is not a spur of the moment thing. It is preceded by a lot of thinking about the girl, marriage, and whether you want those two to come together in some way.

 

Most guys would admit that proposing frightens them a little. The decision is nerve-wracking enough, followed by the purchase of the ring (the possible asking permission from the father) and then the problem of deciding how to do it. But the asking is decidedly easy when none of that stuff comes first. In that special moment when you look in her eyes, know you love her, and the thought of marriage seems appealing, saying "Marry me?" is a very simple thing. And also not very sincere. Sincerity comes when you've already done the purchasing, planning and thinking, and you still want to marry her. I know this because if just asking "Will you marry me?" was a proposal.

Now for rule number 2. Okay, I admit that it sounds a little harsh to make this a "rule" so let's just call it a strong suggestion. This is not about sincerity, but about making it more "real." While the ring helps with the reality of it all, getting down on one knee is the icing on the cake. The second a guy gets down on one knee it brings the proposal to her attention. I think this tradition might have come about just because it makes a great segue. You don't have to think of a way to bring up "Marry me" you just have to get down on one knee. Right then and there the proposal has started with minimal effort. The guy is now free to say his peace, or just start asking. If you think getting down on one knee is embarrassing, try saying your peace and then getting down just for the asking part. Though I didn't make it a rule, I highly recommend preceding the proposal with an "I love you because" speech that will outline why exactly you think she's so great. Not only will this warm her up for the proposal, but if you do it before you get down on one knee, she may think you're just incredibly sweet, and not realize it's a proposal. Getting down on one knee is also great if you're nervous. If your girl is the antsy type she may say yes the second you hit the ground, because she knows what's coming.

 

Finally, I feel very strongly about my public place rule, almost as strongly as having a ring. This rule has come about through observing actual public proposals. I don't mean seeing a guy propose to some girl in the park. If you don't know them, even if you can hear and see what's going on, it's not truly public. I'm talking about proposing at a family gathering, or better yet - onstage. I've encountered this type of proposal while at college. A few times a year we would have a "Friday Night Live" performance, that was basically our own version of SNL. The auditorium would be packed with about 2,000 people, and this is where someone got the idea of proposing. The first time the guy did it after the show, before anyone left. He called his girlfriend up and proposed. The second time was a year later. A couple was in a skit, and at one point the skit took a slight turn and the girl looked confused - until the guy pulled a ring out of his pocket. He dropped to one knee, popped right back up again, and they walked offstage. Yeah, he had a ring and got down on one knee - but where was the romance? First of all he had no time to say anything but "marry me" and luckily she said yes in front of all those people. Then the skit continued and everyone laughed about it. In fact at the next show the host called his girlfriend up and strung the audience along, making them think he was going to propose. The guy thought this was a cute idea - instead it became a joke. Sure a proposal should be memorable (Hence my previous rules) but the fact that you propose right will be memorable, not the setting. Sure it will make for a great story, but it will also make for an embarrassing one if she says no. It also kills all the romance of the moment when all eyes are on you, and you don't have the ability to say anything really personal. And while the guy who proposed at Friday Night Live may have thought it was cute, he unfortunately made it memorable - for the audience. They broke it off a few months later - and while normally there may be a few hundred people who knew about it - in their case the entire school knew about the engagement, whether they knew them or not. By making the proposal public, you make everything that follows just as public.

 

With all of that said - I don't want anyone to think my rules are terribly rigid - just guidelines. Let's say you propose in the ocean. I personally think that's a wonderful idea. You're alone, it's romantic, and you just have to make sure your trunks have a pocket that close for the ring. I highly doubt anyone will care that you didn't get down on one knee (especially me.)

[MosJan]

1. You must have a ring when proposing.

2. You must get down on one knee.

3. You shouldn't do it in a public place where the proposal is the "main event."

 

JISHTA ASUM

etpes petqa lini

 

yes arden psakvats em He HA Qashvaq trrerq

[CheekY]

i think most of the Armenians still go through the Armenian marriage ceremony, which is, you know, man and his parents going woman's house "dzerq@ xndrelu"(for asking her hand) from her parents.

umm i don't understand why they ask for her hand? lol

[sev-mard]

karogh, inkuh sirreli matyer uni...

[THOTH]

In many ways I am very embarrased to admit that I did nothing so romantic as in some of Azat's stories...and in hindsight I really should of...but my wife proposed to me! LOL. We had been dating awhile and I think had gotten to the point where we just assumed we would be married. I mean we moved from the West Coast to the East Coast together, boght a house together (but by that time I think she already proposed)...LOL...as I recall she one day said something to me like - well - we've been together/living together a while and so on and so forth...don't you think we should get married sometime? or "aren't you going to ask me to get married?" (that sort of thing)...and I said "Sure - lets get married/lets do it!"...LOL. So lame in hindsight (and when she's upset at me...for [again] being less romantic then I should at times etc - she certainly reminds me that I didn't make the move)...but frankly - living together suited me just fine...and I guess at some point I assumed we would get married...but I was just a bit laissez faire about it...(which I certainly regret now...as the memory would have been special)...certainly a lesson - it certainly pays not to take things (people particualrly) for granted...I wish I could say I learned from that lesson...lets just say I try as I can...(duh, dumb male that I am...)

[Sasun]

karogh, inkuh sirreli matyer uni...

LOL... I like your Armenian

[sev-mard]

Merci....believe me i'm smiling here at my computer. I'm trying! Edited October 22, 2003 by sev-mard

[Sasun]

Merci....believe me i'm smiling here at my computer. I'm trying!

You should definitely try I think you speak french also

[angel4hope]

i think the proposal- getting on one knee is th most romantic thing- of course its something we see in movies and u dont have to do it that way- if a guy is romantic enough- or even loves u enough- then whatever eh does will make u happy- and the wine story thing on the palne is the cutest thing ive ever heard! i doubt any armo guy would ever think of that- unless hes modern"ized"----the whole armenian asking 4 hand from parents- is oldies- u dont have to do traditional things to be respected from the parents- as long as u love and respect their daughter and respect them as well- thats all that should matter- all these armenian traditons- yes theyre "nice" but too heen glogkh- if u know what i mean---

[Azat]

I already know how I am going to propose.

 

me - Hey grab me a beer

she - get off your ass and grab yourself a beer

me - if you are going to talk to me like that we mind as well be husband and wife

she - ya well maybe we should

 

And we will live happily ever after(or at least couple of months before we are at each-others troths)