Stormig Posted June 3, 2004 Report Share Posted June 3, 2004 I have been thinking recently - although thinking about these things is not my type of thing... But here goes. What is the ideal mate for one? Someone you share a lot with (interest) and someone you are habitually/behaviourally compatible with? But how about if there are two people who don't have both characteristics but one each? One, you share interests with - but one of you is fussy and one of you is really unbearable for that person because you're untidy. The other, you don't have much in common but are both untidy and chilled out in general about the same things and get on very well even if in some respects you are worlds apart (I can't imagine the frenzy in a household of two fussy persons, which is why I left that out). Disclaimer: I may not be making sense because I have been taking some "remedies" to take care of my hayfever problems. So excuse me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted June 4, 2004 Report Share Posted June 4, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted June 8, 2004 Report Share Posted June 8, 2004 To answer your question, none of the examples you mentioned. If I do not get along with someone in any way, I will not waste my time and nerves. I will not pretend or try to make something out of nothing. So many folks get in these banal relationships where they try to 'change' the other person. I find it amusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted June 8, 2004 Report Share Posted June 8, 2004 OK can i pose another wuestion here... ? it goes with the topic.. If me and a significant other have plenty of things in common, and we think more or less alike in many crucial parts of human behavior which correspond to relationships etc.. is this a good sign for a compatible couple?. or is this just being hopeful for really not to much of an outcome merely from these general similarities in personality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted June 9, 2004 Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 o totally- i seriously disagree with the notion of "chaning" someone- i know a few people who are in relationsips and (a girl in one of my classes) the girl wants to change the guy- who used 2 be a "player" or as i call it a "man whore" and she wants him to be completely devoted to her- but every few weeks he's at vegas getting drink and partying with friends- and shes at home wondering where he is-- stil thinking that she has some fairy dust thats gonna make him stop screwing other girls-- its sad though-- but oh well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted June 9, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 Nobody said anything about changing. So discard and start over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon. Posted June 9, 2004 Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 Gevo, I think if two people have plenty of things in common, it's a start to a relationship. But to me it doesnt necessarily mean two people are compatible. Relationships are so hard to analyze in one shot. Sometimes you have couples who dont actually have alot of stuff in common but they seem to get along very well and understand eachother, and they end up kind of 'fitting together'. To be compatible with someone I think depends a lot on characteristics of the individuals. In a couple one may be an introvert and the other an extrvert, and that may work for them, or it may hinder the relationship. If both are too stuborn and always want to have the last say, or have their own way, too many conflicts will arise and affect the relationship in a bad way. I guess I am basically saying, per Stormig's post, i think compatability relies more on behavioural compatibility rather than having things in common, (dont get me wrong, having things in common counts for something too) I think couples tend to grow together, and explore things together, so some how or another there will be things they share in common, and there will be things that interest one but not at all the other. I think that's typical. But when people's behaviour isnt compatible, it seems to cause too much friction, frustration and sometimes resentment between a couple.  On another note, just to stir things up a bit what about sexual compatability. How important is that in a relationship.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted June 9, 2004 Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 To answer your question, none of the examples you mentioned. If I do not get along with someone in any way, I will not waste my time and nerves. I will not pretend or try to make something out of nothing. So many folks get in these banal relationships where they try to 'change' the other person. I find it amusing. Jeesht asum es. I agree, attempting to change ppl is silly and a waste of both parties time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted June 9, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 On another note, just to stir things up a bit what about sexual compatability. How important is that in a relationship.... Very. A prude and a, erh, ah, don't go well together. Otherwise, good points. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axel Posted June 9, 2004 Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 erh, ah would "slut" be the actual word you are looking for, darling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hye_Acher Posted June 9, 2004 Report Share Posted June 9, 2004 would "slut" be the actual word you are looking for, darling? :lol2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Gevo, I think if two people have plenty of things in common, it's a start to a relationship. But to me it doesnt necessarily mean two people are compatible. Relationships are so hard to analyze in one shot. Sometimes you have couples who dont actually have alot of stuff in common but they seem to get along very well and understand eachother, and they end up kind of 'fitting together'. To be compatible with someone I think depends a lot on characteristics of the individuals. In a couple one may be an introvert and the other an extrvert, and that may work for them, or it may hinder the relationship. If both are too stuborn and always want to have the last say, or have their own way, too many conflicts will arise and affect the relationship in a bad way. I guess I am basically saying, per Stormig's post, i think compatability relies more on behavioural compatibility rather than having things in common, (dont get me wrong, having things in common counts for something too) I think couples tend to grow together, and explore things together, so some how or another there will be things they share in common, and there will be things that interest one but not at all the other. I think that's typical. But when people's behaviour isnt compatible, it seems to cause too much friction, frustration and sometimes resentment between a couple.  On another note, just to stir things up a bit what about sexual compatability. How important is that in a relationship.... I guess we have the root of our name in common and we are partially alike. We are therefore meant to be for each other. I love you! *hugz* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted June 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 would "slut" be the actual word you are looking for, darling? Yes, you took it straight off my lips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
axel Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Have you read this novel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon. Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Hey Anonymouse.... Â Guys, I dont thing a slut is the exact opposite of a prude. There are some people with more liberal attitudes towards sex, in a relationship. Some people are more agressive and some more passive when it comes to it. Some people are into alternative lifestyles, or exploring a little more with their partner, than others. I was trying to refer to this type of compatability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Hey Anonymouse.... Â Guys, I dont thing a slut is the exact opposite of a prude. There are some people with more liberal attitudes towards sex, in a relationship. Some people are more agressive and some more passive when it comes to it. Some people are into alternative lifestyles, or exploring a little more with their partner, than others. I was trying to refer to this type of compatability. True. A slut does not necessarily mean promiscuity. In fact, it may mean the opposite since a slut by definition would not think a sexual relationship is a particularly important or meaningful thing, and would take the same approach to sex as a visit to Mcdonalds would be to quisine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 ...Though don't let that put you off your next hamburger. Let this: Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon. Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 True. A slut does not necessarily mean promiscuity. In fact, it may mean the opposite since a slut by definition would not think a sexual relationship is a particularly important or meaningful thing, and would take the same approach to sex as a visit to Mcdonalds would be to quisine What I was saying is that a slut is not necessarily the opposite of a prude. Prudish meaning not being able to talk about sex with ur partner, or open to disucsion about, ie: communication of wants and needs. We're talking about compatability between two people in a relationship here, which more times than not includes sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anileve Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 Definitely not alike. It would be a disaster for two couch potatoes to meet, nor would be wise for two people with immense amount of energy to commit. Having things in common is essential for an ideal relationship, because at the same time they can have differences to balance each other out and not to sink it into a dull swamp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 With all this wealth of information on the Love and Romance forums, one wonders why people still have problems and buy stupid books about love and romance or self help. This is the real stuff folks. After a visit through these pages, we expect all your relationship woes to be swept under the rug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 I don't know why and how, but usually I find lots of things in common with women that I'm attracted to. Â Eve, how are you doin' today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 With all this wealth of information on the Love and Romance forums, one wonders why people still have problems and buy stupid books about love and romance or self help. This is the real stuff folks. After a visit through these pages, we expect all your relationship woes to be swept under the rug. Well it never fails to awknowledge that its much easier to advise than to be advised/take advice... you know that.. lol.. unfortunately we think clearly when we are giving advice.. (most of the time) and we dont think at all when we are in the situation that needs to be advised... sad.. but life  And I definately agree with Anileve.. its not too good for a couple to be EXACTLY alike in all aspects of human characteristics.... that would be a disaster.. or (on the other extreme) make too many people jealous of the utopian lifestyle they might live.. hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakachik77 Posted August 6, 2004 Report Share Posted August 6, 2004 I have been thinking recently - although thinking about these things is not my type of thing... But here goes. What is the ideal mate for one? Someone you share a lot with (interest) and someone you are habitually/behaviourally compatible with? But how about if there are two people who don't have both characteristics but one each? One, you share interests with - but one of you is fussy and one of you is really unbearable for that person because you're untidy. The other, you don't have much in common but are both untidy and chilled out in general about the same things and get on very well even if in some respects you are worlds apart (I can't imagine the frenzy in a household of two fussy persons, which is why I left that out). Disclaimer: I may not be making sense because I have been taking some "remedies" to take care of my hayfever problems. So excuse me. I go for the second versions for sure when it comes to serious relationships/marriage etc. I think relationships is something we build upon time and common interests (such as both get into Japanese food etc) can always spring up over time. However there should be what I personally call "a common base" that is like both untidy or both kinda casual. I hope it makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allarmeniangirl Posted August 7, 2004 Report Share Posted August 7, 2004 I have been thinking recently - although thinking about these things is not my type of thing... But here goes. What is the ideal mate for one? Someone you share a lot with (interest) and someone you are habitually/behaviourally compatible with? But how about if there are two people who don't have both characteristics but one each? One, you share interests with - but one of you is fussy and one of you is really unbearable for that person because you're untidy. The other, you don't have much in common but are both untidy and chilled out in general about the same things and get on very well even if in some respects you are worlds apart (I can't imagine the frenzy in a household of two fussy persons, which is why I left that out). Disclaimer: I may not be making sense because I have been taking some "remedies" to take care of my hayfever problems. So excuse me. Well, you wouldn't consider dating someone who didn't catch your eye and I think that opposites attract. If both of you have some chemistry but not necessarily a lot of tings in common, you two can learn about each other's likings (interests) and go from there. If it goes well, then.............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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