allarmeniangirl Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 (edited) Have u ever felt as though u were not urself with different people? For example, you act a certain way with different people. I have caught myself doing this. Like, I am a certain way with some of my friends and a completely different me with other friends. Why do I do this? Seems to me, that everyone does this. We heard the saying, "Just be yourself" so many times but do we actually follow it? If we shoiuldn't care what others think and just be ourselves........well, this just doesn't happen. This sounds so cheesy but it's true. I am very sarcastic with some of my freinds, but that just it, with some of my friends, not all of my friends. They are cool and all but I feel like if I throw my sarcasm at them, they will be mad or w/e, but shouldn't they know the real me and I'd probably feel better too or I might end up hurting them(there's the dilema) So i have to hide the real me to some of them to escape the possibility of hurting them? It must have been a million times that I've heard these lines, "Just be yourself" and "They should accept u for who you are." but does anyone even follow these lines? Like it or not, we are never our true selves.(that's what i think)and it doesn't always have to be with friends, co-workers also. what do u guys thik about it? r u that way too or is it just me? Edited February 16, 2004 by allarmeniangirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 I am also very sarcastic person, but i usually use my sarcasm for joking purposes... And i am very blunt, but the thing is i have to be "friends" with the people that i am completely "me" with. Cause nless they know me well enough, somethings i say as jokes and sarcasm, might go beyond that for them.. so other than that with people my age im the same for all.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiner Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 You can't be the same with everyone. Everyone is different and naturally you have different relationships with everyone, in the sense that you show different sides of yourself (you act differently around parents, friends, coworkers, significant other, etc.). There is no way to handle every relationship identically. Plus don't worry about the ideological aspect of "just be yourself" too much because in large part life is an act. There are relatively few times you can TRULY afford to be yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 I'm the same with all my friends, and then I have to watch out what I say around the older generation, etc. That, I think, is as far as it goes with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 I think Shake Sperian said it best: "To thine own self be true ..." That's is what matters. I fully agree with you allarmeniangirl and I also agree with Shiner that you just can't be the same "self" with everyone. There is a bit of everything in all of us ... we have faults ... we have good and bad sides. In each of us there is always a bit of jelousy, fear, hatred, greed, etc and most often a good person is one that is able to hide and mask those effectively. You can't control what you think ... well maybe you can but in order to control it, you have to think about it! What you can control is how you act and behave and what you do and say as those can change depending on the environment one is in as well. As a related note, I have said before that I think you are what you seem to be (i.e. how you act) so by doing whatever it is you are doing, you are being yourself! The related thread on this is here. ... so the last part of what I am trying to say is hanging out with those who would allow you to be the person you want to be is probably very important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 ... so the last part of what I am trying to say is hanging out with those who would allow you to be the person you want to be is probably very important. I agree with this all the way. But, sometimes people can also be deceiving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
den_wolf Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 (edited) I think Shake Sperian said it best: "To thine own self be true ..." That's is what matters. I believe that was Socrates, not Shake Sperian, Sip. Well it was inspired by Socrates (Know Thyself).. so you're right. LOL Damn. I keep forgetting! Edited February 16, 2004 by den_wolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 And not only that, but there are people that deceive themselves about themselves! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
den_wolf Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 I was just going to say, for the sake of artistic creation, that "I don't feel myself with myself." Well, I do. But a lot of people don't, you're right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 I think it is important to be yourself with every person. If you are not being yourself then you are (consciously or otherwise) being like someone else, perhaps that someone else is an imaginary role model. If you think about it we are all unique, we are not supposed to be alike, even twins have differences. So why try to be like someone else? On the other hand, we may find that we are not good with this or that character flaw, or for such and such behavior, etc. We see our imperfections and would like to be a better person. In that case the formula is 1) Be yourself 2) Improve yourself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 (edited) my mom is always bugging me to change and she can't stand it anymore because i'm sarcastic and uhm a bitch sometimes. i guess i just do it to hide my "true feelings"? i don't know why i'm like this... other people("friends") don't bug me anyway... just my family!! so does this make me a fake? i don't know what to do because im REALLY tired of being told to be a nice "hamest" girl! she keeps saying this isn't good for my future if i get married or work blah blah blah blah! well uh i don't really give a damn since i don't see a future? i don't want to be a freaking "hamest" girl and be all...sweet and "happy" and smile and be nice to people all the time like an idiot! this is only gonna do ME bad not her! so yeah i treat my family and friends differently because i need "friends" so i won't be alone when i'm at school etc and my family...well i don't really do them any harm so they will always stick around!! yeah well i'm kinda sorry for treating them "bad" but i just don't want them to see me all "sweet" and all that. i’m not evil i’m just sarcastic! Edited February 16, 2004 by skittles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 Skit, you don't need to be "hamest" or any other way just to keep people around you. You just be you .... and be a good person (however you define good for yourself). The rest will follow. The first thing to realize is that being alone is not such a bad thing if you are the person you want to be. Now of course when I say "you be you", it is a very vague thing to say. Most of us don't even start to figure out what that means until well into adulthood and even then, that definition for us keeps changing over and over. But the important thing is not trying to become what our moms, relatives, or teachers want us to become, but trying to understand what they are telling us and then make our OWN decisions about our "selves". After that, everything just sort of falls into place ... then you will start to be happy with yourself. You will naturally start to give off positive vibes and will have an upbeat attitude about things... and that in turn is what will draw people to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 well people usually 'like" me because i'm nice to them and i do not "pretend" to be nice it just comes natually...but i'm not that nice to my family members...they just annoy me! yeah you can call me a dumb selfish girl who shows no respect or gratitude towards her family...oh well... just waiting to die to make people happy lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 Have u ever felt as though u were not urself with different people? For example, you act a certain way with different people. I have caught myself doing this. what do u guys thik about it? r u that way too or is it just me? I used to do this alot. In fact, it was fun. But underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character. So one day I just decided to let it all out and people saw the real me. Not that they liked it, but still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 well people usually 'like" me because i'm nice to them and i do not "pretend" to be nice it just comes natually...but i'm not that nice to my family members...they just annoy me! yeah you can call me a dumb selfish girl who shows no respect or gratitude towards her family...oh well... just waiting to die to make people happy lol skittles jan, the family issues i think are very seperate from being urself or not. with my family i am not a different person, but i may act diff, be sarcastic just to be annoying, and whatever, But i think the diff is really, that your family tries to control you, and same for me.. and we dont like it. we wanna be dependant, atleast in some things... I go through this also, and i guess the worst has gone, but its in age and time, trust me things will settle down, so let me tell you how i see it.. Dont be to much of an ass to them, i used to sometimes, but now, i just say.. screw it ill just pretend i do what they want.. lol.. with age will come more independance ad stuff.. so dont sweat it, just dont mess your relatinos to badly with your parents and family.. they will always be there for you, your friends will not. trust me, DO NOT DEPEND ON FRIENDS< AND IGNORE FAMILY... damn straight family is annoying most of the time.. lol.. but they will never be jealous of you, or want the worst for you.. your friends can though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armine3773 Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 (edited) hey cuz! I completely agree with you on this topic and you know why. I am completely different around people and the reason behind that is before I approach a person, I always tend to analyze them before I let out my true "self." Some may be offended by my humor while others might think it's funny. It just depends who you're with and the type of person he/she is. Edited February 16, 2004 by Armine3773 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 Some may be offended by my humor while others might think it's funny. It just depends who you're with and the type of person he/she is. This is the problem i face all the time.. sarcastic people end up getting along fine though, But, i dont think i am neccessarily being a "different" person with thos who take my jokes differently, there just things that never work out to say, some jokes i have to refrain from, som comments that they would take to seriously... so, i dont know.. i dont think im different "person" maybe have to say or refrain from saying diff things.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nvard Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 Artificial is worse than natural Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allarmeniangirl Posted February 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2004 nah, in front of my family i'm my goofy self(sometimes cuz i am serious also. lol.). I don't want u guys to think that my friends are bad or anything like that, they (all of them) are really kewl. i was just using myself as an example and I just realized that I do this, u know, act differently with different people. So, basically, just makes me think about that whole thing about being urself. Are we really just always ourselves? I don't think so. I mean, u might be the kind of person who is very funny and loves to joke a lot but if ur boss does not like jokes and is always very serious, u will not joke with him and at work u will be different, as in ur different self. Hmmm, i think i'm questioning that whole idea of just being urself.....hear it everytime whether it's at school or even on TV, "Always be yourself" and "People should respect u 4 the way u r" I just think this doesn't happen....not really anyways. Armine, yes, I know exactly what u mean and i know why:) Sasun.... 1) Be yourself 2) Improve yourself? why should we improve ourselves if we're happy with the way we are? Improve ourselves? that would be improving/changing ourselves for other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellthecat Posted February 18, 2004 Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 It is more important to be sincere. There are already plenty of arse-holes out there just being themselves, world would be a better place if they started to ack not like themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted February 18, 2004 Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 1) Be yourself 2) Improve yourself? why should we improve ourselves if we're happy with the way we are? Improve ourselves? that would be improving/changing ourselves for other people. You should improve yourself if and when you feel something is wrong. That means you are not happy about something in you. This is a better alternative than copying someone else because he/she seems to be better than you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasun Posted February 18, 2004 Report Share Posted February 18, 2004 It is more important to be sincere. Steve, I agree sincerety is very important (and much lacking). I think being yourself is a way of being sincere. It means effectively not covering one's true self or not "lying" about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted February 19, 2004 Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 There are already plenty of arse-holes out there just being themselves, world would be a better place if they started to ack not like themselves. i very much agree. ================= on the other hand, i'm always myself. but my self is so wide that it includes everything. i can be serious, fun, sincere, liar, mad, happy, smart, plain dumb, etc etc. it all depends what part of my self spectrum you meet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 19, 2004 Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 hmm ive noticed that allarmogirl jan...ive also noticed that in myself--its not that youre being someone different with each person, but you are more likely "responding" to their personalities--wich may be a good or bad thing depending on the situation...also dont forget--if you mean youre hiding certain parts of your personality with some friends and no others-maening youre sometimes insecure or afraid of their judgement-then theyre really not your friends-- ive had that happen to me before--but now i am who i am and dont care what people think or say--this is me-take it or leave it--i have learned to be honest with my thoughts and feelings and that has helped me alot with my issues with friends and friendship in general-when your honest to yourself and others, you realize who you reall are as a person and arent afraid of being what and who you are--so never hold back--if you feel like laughing-laugh-if you feel like crying and getting mad-do it--but be honest and open with people-if you are not-how are they going to know what youre thinking and what not... well this might not make sense here--but see--lol im being honest and telling you how i feel about this topic--and what i would do in such a situation--ohh and if these "friends" dont like certain aspects of your persoanlity, like if youre a happy person and for example they say that youre too perky and not serious enough--you dont have to change who you are for other people--but there are always limits to things- all i can say is that you live and you learn---what im saying might not mean much to you, but im sure after you expereince similar things and learn about yourself, you qwill understand coolio chikka just remember--dont forget to smile and have fun... i think ive had too much coffee lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allarmeniangirl Posted February 19, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 19, 2004 oooh angel....i like u...ur kewl. hehe. RIGHT ON gurl. just to make some stuff clear though, my friends r kewl and all.......i am MYSELF(all of me) with most of my friends cuz they know how i am and they do respect me and all. I am definitely serious most of the time but i am also kind of sarcastic/goodfy. i have these very very serious friends who i definitely love to keep contact with and hang out. I can talk with them about a LOT of stuff but sometimes i just wanna break out with a joke but they will probably not get it. I am sarcastic with one group of friends and unsarcastic with other, but all of us hang out like everyday. It's weird how that works. lol. Ugh......i'm confusing myself now. lol. thanx 4 ur input every1 P.S. bell, i completely agree with u Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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