CheekY Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 would you rather have a baby which will (in a way) "ruin" your relationship or never have one but be "happy"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted February 13, 2004 Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 How would a baby ruin a relationship? I think it's the opposite, babies bring couples closer together. Unless I misunderstood you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted February 13, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 13, 2004 when you have a baby you don't really have time for each other...especially the women as they have to care for the baby all the time...and not everyone can afford a babysitter... so sometimes(or most of the time) this makes makes the couple argue more and even makes the husband cheat? because their woman isn't as attractive anymore or has no time time for them... i know only shallow men would do that but... well and i think that the husband has to help look after the baby too whenever he has time because uh...it's his baby too, isn't it?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 I think a baby brings couples closer in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 I think a baby brings couples closer in general. sip you have this all wrong first the couples get closer then the baby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 You're the expert, Mos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 Sip don;t kiss up man your still on my blk-list and #1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 So babies do ruin couples' closeness, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 Well, considering i have 2 younger sisters, and seeing them grow up.. I thinkg babies do bring a couple closer, despite the dificulties, babies are something where both counterparts come together and love, and the love rings out loud between the husband and wife also. With both my sisters, my dad has become more "aware" of my mom, im sure you all know what i mean by that .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 wow!! i was just talkin about this with a co-worker...got all maternal and hormonal seein CUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEE infant pics..ADORABLE!!!! then i told her "awww, look how cute they are...i want a little guy like that..." then she cracked me up by saying and then laughing "well, if you want a little guy, first you gotta get a big guy!"... well you had to be there!! then we both laughed!!! i just LOVEEEEEEE funny people like that...she's in her late 30's but she feels right around my age, even younger....aaahhh it's all about how young your spirit feels!! the funnier and happier you are the younger you seem!!~~~~~~ aaaah life is so beautiful~~~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 (edited) i dont see any reason for a baby to ruin a relationship, becuae if there arent any problems to begin with, what kind of problem is a baby gonna bring? contrary to some peoples beliefs, i think that kids bring joy into everything...the other day i was walking out of my psych lecture and saw my professor from last quarter walking with his lil boy around campus, and he was so happy and him and his wife were laughing at all the cute things their son was saying to the frat/and sorority members at club rush... just seeing that makes me all warm inside, because a child should be the "product" of love betwewen two people...not a mistake or an obligation, and the mere fact that the child is a living proof of your love should make things better and bring more joy to ones life... i cant imagine life-for me in the future- without children, even if i dont get married for whatever reson, im still gonna go adopt a baby, because i love kids, and again ,i cant imagine life without their lil smiles and cute little "smart" comments.... Edited February 14, 2004 by angel4hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 Perhaps I'm not someone to talk about this much, but I think that, although children will bring couples "closer," it is because they become a priority where other issues are sent to the backburner. I think that it can be that in some cases it'll be akin to people focusing too much on building their careers and then realizing they are growing old or have grown old without having had enough relationships or found their "soul mate." In the case of married couples, it might mean that some issues will go unaddressed and will resurface in upcoming years. I can't help coming to the conclusion of such a possibility after the revelations that were made to me within the last year or so. Most probably, babies born from planned pregnancies are agenda for their parents and will in effect bring them closer as they will be working together on something. The question skittles asked said "relationship," not necessarily just marriage. In which case - how to explain the number of guys that run away and want nothing to do with the girlfriend candidate for motherhood or the baby if they can't convince the woman to have an abortion when "accidents" happen? I don't think that can be belittled. As for myself, I can't imagine myself as a mother, and even if I were not to die during childbirth, I don't know that I would survive the first so many months of sleepless nights and constant irritating crying and whining. The is nothing compared to that. Recipe for a life ruined in my book. And then the "instincts" kicking in and not being able to hold oneself from being anal about everything the kid does when once upon a time I was laughing at overprotecting mothers. Phooey. It's another stage in one's life where you'd realize you had come to be something just like realizing you had grown old and become one of those weak-memoried grown-ups like you had feared you'd become when you were in your early teens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 i dont see any reason for a baby to ruin a relationship, becuae if there arent any problems to begin with, what kind of problem is a baby gonna bring? contrary to some peoples beliefs, i think that kids bring joy into everything...the other day i was walking out of my psych lecture and saw my professor from last quarter walking with his lil boy around campus, and he was so happy and him and his wife were laughing at all the cute things their son was saying to the frat/and sorority members at club rush... just seeing that makes me all warm inside, because a child should be the "product" of love betwewen two people...not a mistake or an obligation, and the mere fact that the child is a living proof of your love should make things better and bring more joy to ones life... i cant imagine life-for me in the future- without children, even if i dont get married for whatever reson, im still gonna go adopt a baby, because i love kids, and again ,i cant imagine life without their lil smiles and cute little "smart" comments.... apres ghelatsi kurik.. maladets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted February 14, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 oh i'm soooo impatient with babies! so i don't even want to think about having one yet. maybe i'm too young... but if i had a baby i'd either make it cry all the time ( i know i'm mean ) or i might kill myself! TOO damn difficult! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheekY Posted February 14, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 and how do i know this? when i had to babysit my little brother i wanted to cry all the time!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gevo27 Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 and how do i know this? when i had to babysit my little brother i wanted to cry all the time!! i just let kids whatever they want and usually if its something bad ill yell at em adn they stop, or if its something bad and it doesnt hurt anything, i just wait and they get bored real quick.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 This is a complicated issue really - and is very dependent on the couple, their maturity, and even how long they have been together before children. And many have made some nice insites already I should add... Many couples go into a relationship where they are in love and are pretty much into the one on one relationship. A child can upset this - particualrly if the realtionship hasn't had enough time. Fathers can get resentlful of the attention being redirected towards the baby and mothers will tend to spend more effort on the abythen on the relationship with the husaband after the child is born. Obviously when both parents are focused and into the child this is lessened and it can become a means of briging a couple closer - but this is why I think that havbing the baby at the proper time tis important (ie not too soon...let the one on one relationship haveits period)...anyway all this is based on observations I have made - mostly concerning other folks - but also to some degree with my own marraifge and family. We married in our late 20s after having dated for a few years and then still waited about 4 years for children. So for us it wasnt such an issue - and being able to be a bit independent is also helpful I think. But yes - there were certain negative aspects to haveing a baby around concerning the maritial relationship..certainly...(and I'll leave these to your own thinking here ..LOL)...but overall - as we had always planned for kids and were ready - having children has been great - and in most respects has not affected our relationship one way or another per se...at least as far as I can determine.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted February 14, 2004 Report Share Posted February 14, 2004 i just let kids whatever they want and usually if its something bad ill yell at em adn they stop, or if its something bad and it doesnt hurt anything, i just wait and they get bored real quick.. Well hopefuly you'll have enough time to notice that theyhave the power tools before the figure out how to start them up - etc.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymouse Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 oh i'm soooo impatient with babies! so i don't even want to think about having one yet. maybe i'm too young... but if i had a baby i'd either make it cry all the time ( i know i'm mean ) or i might kill myself! TOO damn difficult! You should just feed the baby some skittles. Sure he/she'll have rotten teeth by the time he/she's a teen, but at least you'll hush them up and comfort yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 You should just feed the baby some skittles. Sure he/she'll have rotten teeth by the time he/she's a teen, but at least you'll hush them up and comfort yourself. HAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
den_wolf Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 would you rather have a baby which will (in a way) "ruin" your relationship or never have one but be "happy"? I would rather have a baby. I don't think babies get in the way of relationships, unless the relationship is unhealthy anyway. I would give the whole world to be a dad. It would bring me even closer to my wife. But I guess those who have the chance to are in a different situation than those who know they wouldn't ever be in that position. I guess you value it most when you can't get to it. I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allarmeniangirl Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 why do u have to make having a baby such a bad thing? when a baby is born, it is such a great occasion and it does bring couples together because they both look at the baby and see what they created from their love. perhaps ur talking about single parents dating, because that does bring up problems in relationships sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angel4hope Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 as i said before, if there werent preexisting problems that the couple had-like selfishness/lack of responsibility/no career-no plan then what can a baby do? i dont think a little babycan bring much trouble- kids are just a blessing -i think-i dont care if you have to change their crapy diapers or what not-our parents-at least mine-did the same for me...a child is--should be an extension of two peoples love and respect for one another- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted February 15, 2004 Report Share Posted February 15, 2004 Angel - well perhaps - but its not so simple. There are dynamics to relationships annd adding a thrird - well can be disruptive -- no matter how wonderful. believe me - it is just this reason that causes many problems for couples - and not necessairly couples that had any kind of problem beforehand. Of course many cases it is a non factor - like you said - if the relatioship is strong and the people are mature and dedicated to one another - etc...but don't assume that it is a non-trivial thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hye_Acher Posted February 16, 2004 Report Share Posted February 16, 2004 I would rather have a baby. I don't think babies get in the way of relationships, unless the relationship is unhealthy anyway. I would give the whole world to be a dad. It would bring me even closer to my wife. But I guess those who have the chance to are in a different situation than those who know they wouldn't ever be in that position. I guess you value it most when you can't get to it. I don't know. Den, Sorry to read that… I agree with you. people do start valuing something more when they know they cannot have it. I love kids and I CANT imagine my future without kids… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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