Maral Posted July 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 CADIAN JOKE # 1 After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona ." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The guy from Molson Canadian sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?" The Molson Canadian president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I." CANADIAN JOKE #2 A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?" "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade." CANADIAN JOKE #3 An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked, "Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?" "Sure it's easy." replied the neurosurgeon. "All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie.." He was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him "I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain." The patient replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?" CANADIAN JOKE #4 Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia ? The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back. CANADIAN JOKE #5 In Canada , we have two seasons...six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling. CANADIAN JOKE #6 One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Labatt Blue. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverages, three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!" CANADIAN JOKE #7 A Quebecer, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" yelled the Quebecer. CANADIAN JOKE #8 An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St.Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here" "That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay his." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted July 8, 2008 Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 (edited) Maral, you asked for it. Wait till Yervant, Vava, Domino and others get a hold of you. Then you will be in the Labrador Doghouse http://www.bigdogboutique.com/ProductCart/...log/lab_dog.jpg Where your breakfast, lunch and diinner will be Nova Scotia lox and bagel. Edited July 8, 2008 by Arpa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted July 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2008 what makes you think that would be punishment to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted October 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2008 Ellen's Hidden Camera Starbucks Prank http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T36KFPGkUJA...feature=related Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted November 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2008 Justin Timberlake & Beyonce - Parodie "Single Ladies" SNL http://www.dailymotion.com/video/k5BSf7RLucUHHaQiGT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted November 20, 2008 Report Share Posted November 20, 2008 See if you can see me in the video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XGJq8wrw5I Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted November 20, 2008 Report Share Posted November 20, 2008 Azat jan 6 angam nayel em chem tesnum nuynisk verji anuner em kardatsel xoshoratsuytsov chem tesnum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted November 21, 2008 Report Share Posted November 21, 2008 Movses jan, hanak ei anum aper. ughaki kartsum em im apagan etpesa linelu. baits chem vaxenum. Vagh@ petka gnam daseri sovoren pick-up trucki hetev@ nstel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted November 21, 2008 Report Share Posted November 21, 2008 (edited) Methinks Azat was referring to the names at the ending credits- SIMONZAD Edited November 21, 2008 by Arpa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted November 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2008 (edited) Warner Brothers Tells Batman Turkey To F@¢# Off - Comedy.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziVHuJlEYE8...m-hell-is-back/ Edited November 21, 2008 by Maral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted January 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Young Garabed moved to Gumri and bought a donkey from farmer Vartan for $50.00. Farmer Vartan agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day Farmer Vartan came by and said, 'Sorry son, I have some bad news, the donkey died". Garabed replied: well then just give me my money back. Farmer Vartan said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Garabed said, 'Ok, then, just bring me back my dead donkey." Farmer Vartan asked, 'what are you going do with a dead donkey?". Garabed said, 'I'm going to raffle it off." Farmer Vartan said, 'you can't raffle off a dead donkey!" Garabed said, 'Sure I can watch me. I just won't tell anybody its dead." A month later, Farmer Vartan met up with Garabed and asked, 'what happened with that dead donkey?" Garabed said, 'I raffled it off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $948.00. Farmer Vartan said, 'didn't anyone complain?" Garabed said, 'Sure did, the guy who won the raffle ticket. So I gave him back his two dollars!" Garabed now works for the Armenian Government Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted February 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted February 12, 2009 Report Share Posted February 12, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted February 12, 2009 Report Share Posted February 12, 2009 please post some more i needddd it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anoushik Posted February 12, 2009 Report Share Posted February 12, 2009 This is a true story: Some years ago my mom and dad walked to their parked car in the supermarket parking lot. That specific car never had power door lock so my dad put in the key to the driver side door and opened all the doors. He sat in the driver's seat and my mom in the passenger seat. He then put the key in the ignition and started the car, at which point the automatic seat belts came on. My mom had a feeling that something wasn't right and then remembered that their car doesn't have automatic seat belts! My parents looked at each other surprised and then got out of the car. Their own car, with the same exact color and built, was parked a few cars down from where they were! Everyone's surprised when they hear this story because no one can explain how my dad's key not only opened another car's door but also started the car! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 Anoushik jan there is nothing surprising about that... to be honest with you I tried this with my Mercedes keys... I went to the parking lot of the Mercedes Benz dealer, they had about 30 of the same car as mine, and I unlocked 2 doors with my remote! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 i had a similar incident in front of an armenian store years back... a middle aged woman opened my car door and sat next to me while i was waiting for someone else... then she prceeded with a violant screeming and jumping out of the car when instead of her old fart husband she found a young and handsome man in the driver's seat.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azat Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 i had a similar incident in front of an armenian store years back... a middle aged woman opened my car door and sat next to me while i was waiting for someone else... then she prceeded with a violant screeming and jumping out of the car when instead of her old fart husband she found a young and handsome man in the driver's seat.... Was Movses driving your car? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted February 14, 2009 Report Share Posted February 14, 2009 (edited) This is a true story: ==== Some years ago my mom and dad walked to their parked car in the supermarket parking lot. One day I came out of the restaurant. I knew exactly where I had parked. I approached the car, exactly my car, exterior interior and all, put my key in (no power lock), No! No luck. I tried my other key, no!!. When suddenly I saw some tell tale signs on the back seat. Not my paraphernalia. DUH!!! :duh: . Mine, same exact clone was the the next car. From there on I decided to leave some telltale visible paraphernalia, just as I would leave some kind of identifying personal stuff in the pocket of my overcoat. Edited February 14, 2009 by Arpa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johannes Posted April 9, 2009 Report Share Posted April 9, 2009 (edited) Ապարանցին մեռնում է, գերեզմանին գրում են. "Game Over": Ջեյմս Բոնդը գալիս է Ապարան, ասում է՝ Bond - James Bond, էս ապարանցին էլ ասում է՝ Tan - VarTan. Edited April 9, 2009 by Johannes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johannes Posted April 9, 2009 Report Share Posted April 9, 2009 Ապարանցին աշխատանքից վերադառնում է տուն, տեսնում է կինը չկայ: Փնտրում, փնտրում, վերջը կնոջ չուստերը համակարգչի մօտ է գտնում: Ասում է. -Կնիկս էլի մտել է ինտերնետ: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johannes Posted April 9, 2009 Report Share Posted April 9, 2009 Ապարանցին աշխատանքից յոգնած վերադառնում է տուն , տեսնում է դռան վրայ կինը հաղորդագրութիւն է թողել , որ նա գացել է խանութ ,մեկ ժամից կվերադառնայ: Ապարանցին էլ վերցնելով գրիչը , ավելացնում է ` հետդ 2 տուփ ծխախոտ կբերես ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nané Posted April 9, 2009 Report Share Posted April 9, 2009 (edited) Էս մեկը ժարգոնով է Ապարանցու աջ ոտքը «ուռում» ա, ձախի վրա կայֆավատ ա լինում: Edited April 9, 2009 by Nané Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johannes Posted April 9, 2009 Report Share Posted April 9, 2009 Էս մեկե ժարգոնով է Ապարանցու աջ ոտքը «ուռում» ա, ձախի վրա կայֆավատ ա լինում: Էդպէս է հաճելի... Մի ապարանցի ընկնում է փոսը։ Սկսում ա գոռալ. Օ՜ԳՆԵՑԵՔ,Օ՜ԳՆԵՑԵՔ,.մեկ էլ կողքից մի հատ ապարանցի ասում է՝ ախպեր արի միասին գոռանք, որ լավ լսվի: Սկսում են գոռալ միասին... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johannes Posted April 9, 2009 Report Share Posted April 9, 2009 Ապարանցու մատը փուշ է մտնում, հանում տեսնում է՝ արյուն է գալի, էլի հետ է դնում: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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