Maral's Jokesssssssss of the day

[Ashot]

Bill Gates and the chairman of GM are arguing over which company is better. Bill Gates boast, " If cars grew in technology as fast as computers did, we would be driving v-32 instead of v-8, our cars would get 5000 miles to the gallon, the top speed would be mach seven. Anyway the sticker price for a car would be 50 dollars."

 

And which the GM replies, " Sure, but would you really want a car that crashes 4 times a day!"

[Maral]

Failed survey

 

 

 

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food

shortage in the rest of the world?"

 

The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food'

meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they

didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what

'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution'

meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And in the

USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!

[Maral]

 

- The Silent generation, people born before 1945.

 

- The Baby Boomers, people born between 1945 and 1961.

 

- Generation X, people born between 1962 and 1976.

 

- Generation Y,people born between 1977 and 1995.

 

 

Why do we call the last one generation Y. I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below...Learned something new!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

untitled.bmp

[Ashot]

Maral jan, were you born during Generation Y???

[Ashot]

Let me Explain this to you

 

The Silent generation, people born before 1945 - These people were silenced for two reasons - they were eighter involved in a world war or Genocide

 

The Baby Boomers, people born between 1945 and 1961. - These are the ones that started the process that we follow today, recognitions, human rights, politics, etc...

 

Generation X, people born between 1962 and 1976. - The Anonymous ones, they started talking, fighting, arguing, shiftin the world, making new maps, political wars, etc...

 

Generation Y, people born between 1977 and 1995. - that's us, we ask all the questions!!!

[Maral]

Maral jan, were you born during Generation Y???

[Azat]

Maral jan, were you born during Generation Y???

she was not mut Movses and I were.

[Ashot]

Well that data could be wrong, because many other souces say Generation Y is from year 1982!!! that's the exact birth year of mine!!! So Azat jan, you and Movses are Generation - ANANYMOUS!!!

[Azat]

Lsi Ashot jan. Jishta Movses mi kan jam indsnits mets baits menk yerkus el Generation Y enk.

[Ashot]

Uremn da lava... bolorov miasin hasakakitsenq!!!

[Ashot]

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

[Ashot]

There was a young virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.”

She continued, “He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, “But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.”

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

“Grandmother, I didn’t let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I showed him who was boss! I disgraced his family! Three times!”

 

[MosJan]

Well that data could be wrong, because many other souces say Generation Y is from year 1982!!! that's the exact birth year of mine!!! So Azat jan, you and Movses are Generation - ANANYMOUS!!!

 

 

 

aveli lava ANANYMOUS qan te Annnamus

[MosJan]

Lsi Ashot jan. Jishta Movses mi kan jam indsnits mets baits menk yerkus el Generation Y enk.

 

 

Azat moratsar Sipna mets@ eli XArrnum es irar axper jan

[Maral]

a special one for our Canadian friends

 

NOAH'S ARK - 2008

 

 

 

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Canada , and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.'

 

 

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, 'You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.'

 

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. 'Noah!' He roared , 'I'm about to start the rain! Where's the Ark ?'

 

'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed. The Township told me I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the Building Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the zoning laws by building the vessel in my backyard and exceeding the height limitations. I was forced to go to the Ontario Municipal Board for a decision.

 

Then Hydro One demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

 

Getting the wood was another problem. The province has imposed a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

 

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued that the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

 

Then the Ministry of the Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

 

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission as to how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

 

Immigration Canada is checking the Visa status of most of the people who want to work.

 

The trades unions say I can't use my sons . They insist I have to hire only union workers with Ark-building experience.

 

To make matters worse, Revenue Canada seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

 

So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. '

 

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy the world?'

'No,' said the Lord.

 

 

 

'Your Federal, Provincial and Municipal Governments beat me to it.'

 

[ED]

Sasnuntsi Davit@ anapatov dzu vra sovats tsarav gnumen

mekel mi OASIS en tesnum motenumen OASISI motel 3 glxani mi dev

Davit@ kaytsak tur@ hanuma hartsakvum devi vra

mi gluxna ktrum

2rt@

es dev@ asuma ARA HOOOOOOOOP xi es krvum tents?

TSARAVENQ!!!

eh tsarav es xmi inchu es kriv anum ara ho du histerik ches?????

[ED]

erku aparantsi marchrutkayov gnum en, mekn asuma, varordin asenk, ster pahi, @nkern asuma, ban mi asa, tesnenk kfaymi?

[Maral]

Hillary Vs Omama

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aHU8BYupAno

[hetanos]

- The Silent generation, people born before 1945.

 

- The Baby Boomers, people born between 1945 and 1961.

 

- Generation X, people born between 1962 and 1976.

 

- Generation Y,people born between 1977 and 1995.

 

 

Why do we call the last one generation Y. I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below...Learned something new!

I can attest that X-ers are the most tragic generation. We are caught in between the greedy Boomers and Techy Y generations.

Not to mention Aids, Crack and Pop Music of 80-s completely debilitated us:)

Hi Maral jan:)

[LK82]

So Z is next, then the human race stops reproducing?

[Ashot]

The older chimney says to the younger one - YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE SMOKING!!!

[hetanos]

So Z is next, then the human race stops reproducing?

I don't know. Z s are the children of x ers. anything is possible.

[Maral]

I can attest that X-ers are the most tragic generation. We are caught in between the greedy Boomers and Techy Y generations.

Not to mention Aids, Crack and Pop Music of 80-s completely debilitated us:)

Hi Maral jan:)

 

80's pop music?

ohhh you take that back right now!

[Maral]

'SEX FROGS'. Only $20 each! Comes with 'complete' instructions.

 

 

 

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!' As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!

 

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

 

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:

 

1. Take a shower.

2. Splash on some nice perfume.

3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.

4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

 

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.'

 

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.'

 

 

 

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

 

The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:

 

'LISTEN TO ME!! I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE MORE ... TIME!!!'

 

[Maral]

MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL

 

 

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs Sanders, please.''Speaking.'

'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible.'

 

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

 

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for

Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's.'

 

'That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.

 

 

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'

 

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

 

'The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'