Ashot Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 Extra jan, Yervantin naxandzumem!!! iran asetsir you have to give it in person, indzel computeroves ugharkum... Yesel asetsi karogha indze ases in person, yesel saghin havaqem u qez surprise anenq, enel ch@statsvets... I do appreciate the 5 bucks!!! <--- I just got that for the 5 bucks!!! don't be sad I said it for a good cause!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 Extra jan, Yervantin naxandzumem!!! iran asetsir you have to give it in person, indzel computeroves ugharkum... Yesel asetsi karogha indze ases in person, yesel saghin havaqem u qez surprise anenq, enel ch@statsvets... I do appreciate the 5 bucks!!! <--- I just got that for the 5 bucks!!! don't be sad I said it for a good cause!!! Don't you want to share that pizza? How about if I give you another five dollars when i see you. MosJan I need a raise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 Extra jan - I would gladly accept the 5 dollars if you let me treat you and all of our friends from HF into a nice dinner!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 Mos jannnn, I need a promotion and double raise!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExtraHye Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 Extra jan - I would gladly accept the 5 dollars if you let me treat you and all of our friends from HF into a nice dinner!!! Nope no deal, the only way we'll have the dinner is if everyone gets to pay for it, not just one person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 not good... that was gonna be my only chance for a promotion + raise... now you took that chance away from me!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVO Posted January 30, 2008 Report Share Posted January 30, 2008 Dream crasher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 THE CLINTON LEGACY During a recent poll in Washington D.C., women were asked if they would sleep with Bill Clinton? 84% responded 'not again.' Seven years after Bill Clinton left Washington D.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 (edited) es inch urod dasaraner... Edited February 3, 2008 by Ashot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 A young polar bear asks his father, "Dad, am I 100% Polar Bear" The father bear responds, "Well, son, I am all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your grandparents, even your great grandparents are 100% polar bear. So yes, son, you are 100% polar bear. Why do you ask?" The young polar bear replies "Because I am really cold!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Pssst... Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: "Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor! Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. (P = the problem logged by the pilot.) (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 3, 2008 Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush. At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on." The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 4, 2008 Report Share Posted February 4, 2008 A young polar bear asks his father, "Dad, am I 100% Polar Bear" The father bear responds, "Well, son, I am all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your grandparents, even your great grandparents are 100% polar bear. So yes, son, you are 100% polar bear. Why do you ask?" The young polar bear replies "Because I am really cold!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 http://producten.hema.nl/ HEMA is a Dutch department store. The first store opened on November 4, 1926, in Amsterdam. Now there are 150 stores all over the Netherlands. HEMA also has stores in Belgium, Luxemburg, and Germany. In June of this year, HEMA was sold to British investment company Lion Capital. Take a look at HEMA's product page. Unless you read Dutch, it's probably difficult to order anything. But the magic of this site...well, let it load (it takes several seconds), and then watch what happens .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 5, 2008 Report Share Posted February 5, 2008 Very clever!!! Mos gotta give them props!!! From 1-10 I rate them 10!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 7, 2008 Report Share Posted February 7, 2008 TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MosJan Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Russian Woman Married to a Canadian > > > > A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever > after in Toronto. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in > English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real > problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. > > > One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She > didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, she > clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her > butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs. > > Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to > say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to > show the butcher her breasts! The butcher understood again, and gave her > some chicken breasts. > > > > On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a > way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... > > > > (Please scroll down) > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What were you thinking? Hello! Her husband speaks English! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yervant1 Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 What were you thinking? Hello! Her husband speaks English! But the butcher doesn't speak English! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 (edited) But the butcher doesn't speak English! Is it because the butcher was Oscar Mayer,the Austrian "wiener"? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ-RTsqbvYk...feature=related Edited February 8, 2008 by Arpa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 26, 2008 Report Share Posted February 26, 2008 For weeks a five-year-old child kept telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister or brother that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the child to feel the movements of the unborn baby. The five-year-old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Moreover, he stopped telling the teacher about the awaiting event. Finally the teacher sat the child on her lap and said, “Lucas, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home? “Lucas burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted February 29, 2008 Report Share Posted February 29, 2008 Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager. The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane. The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn't survive. The smartest man in the world takes a parachute, because he thinks that the world would be a worse place without him. The pilot says to the punk "There's only one parachute left, I'll fight you for it." "That won't be necessary," said the punk, "The smartest man in the world took my backpack." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashot Posted March 6, 2008 Report Share Posted March 6, 2008 A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways. The interviewer asked him: "Do you know how to use the equipment?" "Yes", the boy replied. "Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the same track?" The young applicant thought and replied "I'd press the button to change the points without hesitation." "What if the button was frozen and wouldn't work?" "I'd run outside and pull the lever to change the points manually" "And if the lever was broken?" "I'd get on the phone to the next station and tell them to change the points," he replied. "And if the phone was broken and needed an electrician to fix it?" The boy thought about that one. "I'd run into town and get my uncle" "Is your uncle an electrician?" "No, but he's never seen a train crash before!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maral Posted March 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 Never Be Afraid To Say How You Feel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garmag Posted March 19, 2008 Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 Should this tragic/joke be listed under Genocide? I don't know... it's up to the moderators whims. Hamid was informed that a fedayi assassin was sent by the Armenians to kill him. The sultan ordered right away the doubling of his guards. A few hours later, his security chief all alarmed, came to advise the red sultan with news that,- there were two fedayis after his life... what should he do? Immediatly the sultan ordered the chief,- to stand down the extra security. Noticing the chiefs' puzzled look, the sultan explained...- not to worry, before they get at me they would have killed each other! Should we laugh or cry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.