UKGIRL28 Posted October 16, 2003 Report Share Posted October 16, 2003 Hi guys! Im new to this place but I have a question to ask you all; Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time with the same amount of love & desire? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arpa Posted October 16, 2003 Report Share Posted October 16, 2003 Hi guys! Im new to this place but I have a question to ask you all; Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time with the same amount of love & desire?I know I am trivializing a serious question. Shame on me! :) But I couldn't resist. I know many will respond and keep the subject in its serious nature.Yes, it is possible, it is known as "having one's Kate and Edith too". Even if this may not need further explanation , the above quote is a silly barakhagh (pun/word game) the original of which is; "having one's CAKE and EAT IT TOO". To mean, the best of two worlds.I told you I was in a silly mood. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted October 16, 2003 Report Share Posted October 16, 2003 Hi guys! Im new to this place but I have a question to ask you all; Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time with the same amount of love & desire? Welcome UKGIRL28 (THX1132 or what have you...)... Yeah - quite possible...I love both of my two children equally and dearly...(for instance...) And I very much do think that even with the "type" of love (etc) that your talking about it is also possible - very much so...and why not? Still, always a difficult path...for a variety of reasons...(best of luck with it...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 16, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2003 Thanks Arpa & THOTH Isnt there is a saying that being IN LOVE with someone is different as apposed to just LOVING someone? You can love you family, your friends, your cat etc but you aren't IN LOVE with them..? Personally, I think that it is not possible, especially in the situation Im in at the moment..I do like the whole idea of having the best of both worlds but that can cause problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted October 16, 2003 Report Share Posted October 16, 2003 Welcome UKGIRL28, and yes, "having one's Kate and Edith too" is quite problematic - I don't recommend trying it. Arpa - ROTFL about kate & edith! !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted October 16, 2003 Report Share Posted October 16, 2003 Thanks Arpa & THOTH Isnt there is a saying that being IN LOVE with someone is different as apposed to just LOVING someone? You can love you family, your friends, your cat etc but you aren't IN LOVE with them..? Personally, I think that it is not possible, especially in the situation Im in at the moment..I do like the whole idea of having the best of both worlds but that can cause problems. Yes agreed (about diff between loving and being in love)...but still..in my (considerable [ask Hyebruin...]) experience...LOL...I have certainly been in this situation (more then once)...In my life I've had some quite close female friends - at least two (or three...now that I think....hmmm) of which I had/have come to love intensly (that I have been in love with...fully...even if sometimes not consumated [if it needs to be? etc])...even while at the same time dating (and [yes] loving others)...while the feelings have not always been mutual (at least with the same intensity)...to some degree these feelings were shared...and - as I (make it a policy to) never hide things from my partners (sometimes to the detriment of course..) - they have always been aware of my feelings & relationships with these other women (and ussually - knowing me...my big heart and everything else...etc) understood and accepted (pretty much) these relationships I've had. I even exchange(d) gifts (and intimate/personal conversation etc) with some of these gals for many years (even after being married...and in fact [at some point or another] my wife has met and knows [of] all of them! - and knows that I have [well mostly had...but still...] great affection for them...)- and I have continued some of these relationships - not as a lover but as a dear dear friend...(staying in contact, visiitng/getting togther on occasion, exchanging [small/personal] gifts, advice etc) and yes - I have loved them/love them and care for/about with great intensity (certainly frustrating sometime...as the world (ie other women etc) - don't always understand... (but on the whole I've been pretty lucky) - and of course again no hanky-panky ( LOL) (any more that is...)..don't know if any of this makes any sense...and maybe I'm just unusual etc (and yes...I know that...still....) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 'having one's Kate and Edith' - Thats a great line! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 Well THOTH - I dont think you are unusual, more on the sense of emotionally intelligent, (which I am no good at)... hence, which is why I was asking if any of you guys have had a similar experience at some point... I myself have had a CrAzY two years of experimenting!! .. The reason for this is coz I have been exploring my other side yes - I am bisexual and proud of it! I have been with my bf for 5 years until I decided it was time to have a little fun...of course my bf was up for it BIG time!! LOL Isnt it a major turn-on for guys to watch two girls at it?? Which guy wouldnt??!! Anyway, to cut the story short, when I finally met a girl, the unexpected happened, we fell in love and weve been seeing each other ever since, but the reason I wanted to know in the first place is that I found myself being in love with her more and the desire for my bf began fading a considerably! A whole lot of doubts began to emerge in my thoughts whether I am actually realising that I have stronger tendancies to live and be with a woman!?? The past year or so, I have been juggling my feelings as to what I really want in life and it was crazy! I guess I got sooo carried away with what side of the fence I should fall into or just stay up there and go with the flow!! Then, I realised that, whatever choice I make, I'd rather have the best of both worlds than just one!! LOL...do you think that's being a bit selfish???!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 LOL Isnt it a major turn-on for guys to watch two girls at it?? Which guy wouldnt??!! I doubt I would want to see my g/f (of 5 years) get it on with ANYONE else - be it male or female..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 Well I guess every man is different - some can accept it and there are some who cant coz thats who they are and I respect that.. My bf is totally cool with it and if he did have a problem with it, he wouldnt of agreed to me looking in the first place.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 You didnt mind sharing your b/f of 5 years with another girl? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 No- you got me all wrong, or maybe I havent explained myself properly, sorry for that!!... it is not a typical case where I have a bf and I share him with a girl (ie, my gf)... My gf has her own bf also, so NO, we dont share each other either, we leave both our bf's out of our thang otherwise it gets really complicated!! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 No- you got me all wrong, or maybe I havent explained myself properly, sorry for that!!... it is not a typical case where I have a bf and I share him with a girl (ie, my gf)... My gf has her own bf also, so NO, we dont share each other either, we leave both our bf's out of our thang otherwise it gets really complicated!! LOL LOL - sonds like you gusy could have a real fun party! LOL I understaznd now...and you may be right - you just might be more attracted to women - or this particular lady...or maybe your boyfriend is er, a, lacking a bit (and I dont mean [just] physically [not well listed as it were...] - but in knowing how to please you and just in general. (believe me - no lover of mine would abandon guys or even think of it...LOL) It also just might be a phase your in...and "new" things are always more exciting...so it could fade as well..but don't knock it - certainly not...and its great that your b/f is cool about it...so who's complaing eh? (though I can see you are having a dilema about it....sometimes its better to just not think to much - but let it happen/go with it...) I had a long time g/f (many years back)...who was very bisexual...she loved/really got off on other gals (and trhis is very understandable to me....LOL)...and not only were we able to work this in - big time - to both our (mutual & otherwise) fantasy play...but (on occasion) we had get togethers with her various g/fs too - and it was great fun (but sometimes odd certainly - because they weren't always so into me [or guys in general...]....and while being a spectator ain't all bad...its quite nice actually...its better being fully "in" on the action (as it were/pun intended) . She also would sometimes encourage me to pick up other gals to bring home (for both of us...not as easy as it might sound...) ...and she hit on some of my other female friends....the latter did not ussualy go over very well! LOL! But - I had no problem with her "interests" etc at all (quite the contrary) ...though for much of our realtionship (that eventually devolved into basically just a sexual one) we both dated/slept with other people (quite openly...in fact we shared all of our experiences...)...it was a great time all around really - LOL. We would each be dating others (casually...though at one point she was living with this other guy...) but we would still get together when we could (ussualy a few times a week!) - primarily just fior sex...yeah we might go out to dinner or to a club or such...but more often she would just show up at my door with beer and some pornos! LOL (only problems I had were when other dates were already over - because she would just show up...in fact she appreared at my door once as I was awaiting one of my first dates with my now wife! LOL...I was mortified of course (because I alredy knew I liked her quite a bit and wanted it to go well...luckily it did..) and actually ended up breaking it off with her (my bi [sort of/sort of not]...by then...g/f) shortly thereafter...as I started/was starting to get serious etc...with my now wife...) and we actually ended up taking her with us (I was very nervous/not happy with it...[understatrement] and dropping her off at her place (as she had ridden my bike over - that she had borrowed previously - and needed a ride home...of course I was trying to kick her out of my place when my real date showed up...at least we weren't caught in a compimising position or such...I refused [a first eh?]...LOL). And I just remembered one/another (earlier)occasion where she showed up at my door and I already had someone over...and we all ended upgoing out to a club together! LOL - and they both ended up staying the night! LOL Yeah - I had fun (once/way back when...[ah the memory starts to fade as you grow old]...LOL - and I always encourage others to do likewise...within limits of course...times are a bit different now...)...LOL But heh - keep us informed how it all turns out...and my advice is to not abandon guys altogether - unless you are finding that they just totally disgust you or such (and that would be way too bad...you sound like you are a fun gal! LOL) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 The past year or so, I have been juggling my feelings as to what I really want in life and it was crazy! I guess I got sooo carried away with what side of the fence I should fall into or just stay up there and go with the flow!! Then, I realised that, whatever choice I make, I'd rather have the best of both worlds than just one!! LOL...do you think that's being a bit selfish???!! No - not at all - if it works for you I say more power to you...sounds fun too! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 Whoa....kinda hot in there. Gf's and bf's shared with bf's gfs and what not. What was the original question again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 Whoa....kinda hot in there. Gf's and bf's shared with bf's gfs and what not. What was the original question again? LOL - yeah.. Actually answering this thread has got me thinking/remembering. Once my bi-gal & I went on a double date together...ie we each had our own date! Funny observing the goings on on the other side of the table...(and with the little flirting [is that what you'd call it?] between the two of us...Well my date worked out less well (I saw her home...and it never really got off the ground after...or such) - of course her date got lucky! LOL (and she even saw him a few more times i think...but she still ended up back at my place later that night...! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sev-mard Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 Whoa.....are there really that many bi-curious out there? I mean you see it on tv but I guess more and more girls are really 'double agents'.... So THOTH, did the thought of your girls date getting lucky with her turn you on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 Whoa....kinda hot in there. Gf's and bf's shared with bf's gfs and what not. What was the original question again? LOL I think I solved that one by myself now!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 17, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 Actually SEV - There are more bi peeps out there than most people realise - half of them probably dont know if they should get up there and take a look around... but having said that, Im my experiance, Ive met loads of bi gals and a lot of them are with bf's anyway and are just mainly bi-curious! Once they have a lil taste, they then decide whether they want to take it further (by ultimately dumping their bf's and become Lesbos) or hang up their boots and say, nah, Ive done it and that's that, and continue living life with their bfs! LOL There is a saying that Bi peeps cant make their mind up what they want so they try and have both, ie Kate n Edith... but it can never be 50/50 when their is a man involved... Id never diss a man though, I love my man too much to leave him for a lil bit on the side!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THOTH Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 So THOTH, did the thought of your girls date getting lucky with her turn you on? Yeah on one level I was into it...though more in general - I didn't particularly care for him as I recall (though didn't dislike him either...). I'm not the jealous type - so I wasn't bothered by it either...and I was getting plenty - so I was always well satisfied/never frustrated... But yeah - she was a real dynamo/insatiable - and I found her "exploits" pretty exciting in general (they did turn me on)...funny - she once said to me that she would fool/screw around more...but that I always left her too wore out...LOL (there were periods of months where we were together every day...and I was young then (and several years younger then her)...and unusually virile (if thats the right word) even for my age...(so I've often been told...)...ad still don't do too badly - if I can say so myslef....LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DominO123 Posted October 17, 2003 Report Share Posted October 17, 2003 (edited) Hi guys! Im new to this place but I have a question to ask you all; Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time with the same amount of love & desire?There is no such thing as loving equaly. There is no reference which you can base yourself to compare precisly to then realise you love two people equaly. You can love differently, you can be unsure of whom you love more etc... but being unsure, or not being certain, does not mean loving equaly, all the process involved in the brain, that brings love is just too much complext to claim loving equaly. Parents don't love their children equaly, even if they claim so, they love them differently, they can't know whom they love more, but they do not love them equaly, loving equaly means having shared the same experiences, having the same memories, in love there is no rational numbers, you can not put numbers, there is no rational love, like there is rational morality. You can act intelligently in love, you can act rationaly, but the feeling in itself is not rational. Another thing, is that, the reason you love someone, is because you need to love, there is something you are missing in your life, you need to recognise yourself on another person. Love is like a mirror, you recognise a part of yourself reflected on another, each love will be different, you will have another part of yourself reflected, or parts which won't be reflected the same way with another person, telling that two reflections are equal, is claiming there is absolute values to something that is not rational. Suppose that you have brothers and sisters, and that you can't tell which you love more, what you can know, is that some times you will want to be with one over the other, tell things to one which you will not want to tell to the other, during that moment, your love will be concentrated to that person, which you have chosen. During that moment you love that person more, because during that moment you had a need, you wanted a part of yourself being reflected against the another part. We can even talk less of equality, when it is a question of love between man and woman. Because in this cases, passion, which is loves disease, and sexual attractions are concerned. The prove of that? Suppose that you are isolated in a desert, some times you will be missing a person in particular depending on your sentiments, emossions and memories of that moment, on other times, others will be missing particularly at that moment in question etc... because you need during that moment the emotion and memories you have reflected, over other emotions and memories. Edited October 17, 2003 by Fadix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 does your boyfriend have a boyfriend of his own too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 No, he doesnt coz he isnt bi like me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormig Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 I doubt I would want to see my g/f (of 5 years) get it on with ANYONE else - be it male or female..... I thought you were in need of a girlfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UKGIRL28 Posted October 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 Nah, I already have one and have no intentions of finding another! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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