BitterSweet Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 Hi everyone. As you can see, I'm new. I have a bit of a dilemma. I was dating someone more than a year back...and recently I regained the feeling that I initially had for him. I was the one who told him that we shoud stop dating, and that we should be friends... and now, I dont know how to let him know that I'm interested in him... I'm the type of person that would never make the first move.... I have indirectly flirted with him but I dont think he gets it... or if he does, he's just acting like he doesnt. I'm kinda stuck & lost, what is your advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
America-Hye Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 Write him a short note that since last year your feelings for him have renewed. If he still has these feelings for you he will not turn you away. If he has found a new love, well that the breaks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 You just oppened the pandora box with this question. Welcome to HyeForum by the way! PS: Do not listen to America-Hye. The method above would have worked in late 40s-50s of the last century. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harut Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 the man is not a toy for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
America-Hye Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 Gamavor, So what is your suggestion to her? You never slip up one opportunity to shoot down my views, don't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 I'm the type of person that would never make the first move....Well, this is technically not the first move, is it? I think it all depends ... it depends on if he is currently with someone else, how serious he is with that other someone, how seriously you have gotten those initial feelings back, how serious those initial feelings were, and whether the fact that he is with someone else had anything to do with you getting the feelings back. It depends on a LOT of things. Welcome to hyeforum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted August 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 (edited) Thank you for the warm welcome. Let me clarify a few things. He is single... I dont know of anyone that he is seeing, so him being with someone else is not a factor. We have kept in contact with one another since the time that we stopped dating... have mutual friends... see one another every once in a while at gatherings... etc. America-Hye,- that to me is like making the first move. I wouldnt have the guts to do that. Harut,I know he's not a toy. I dont have intentions to "play" w/ him. Sip,good one. you're right, but it's been such a long time... it seems as thought it would be the first move. Another question... .if you've been told by a girl once that she wants to be friends.... afterwards she shows interest... would you ask her out the 2nd time knowing "she just wanted to be friends" the first time around? Edited August 20, 2003 by BitterSweet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 it's been such a long time... it seems as thought it would be the first move. Well, if you want something to happen, you HAVE to make some sort of move since he is not going to do it. He thinks you want to be friends. That's as much as I am qualified to say so I'll shut up now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 This is something I would never be able to understand. When gals say "I want you to be friends", that translates as "no sex buddy". What kind of friendship is that between man and a woman without sex? OK guys you continue the struggle I resign! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
America-Hye Posted August 20, 2003 Report Share Posted August 20, 2003 I can only relate my own experiences. With my ex-wife, it was SHE who wanted the divorce, saying that I was "NOT THERE" for her since I was working 12-14 hours a day. Although our marriage had problems, I was willing to try to fix it. After a few years she started to put out "feelers" that we should try to give it another try. In my case, by then I was involved with a beautiful odar, so the timing was not right. I still have a soft spot in my heart for her despite our marital discord. So if the timing had been different, the outcome could have been different. My high school girlfirend also broke our relationship, to date a BMOC (big man on campus). Recently, she contacted me out of the blue. Her husband is terminally ill, so NOW she thinks of me after all these years. I can say that as a man, I have broken off a few relationships with women. I have not ever wanted to return to these relationships. That is the difference between a man's approach and a woman's. It is similar to our approaches to shopping. I go shopping with a list of things to buy, do the job and go home. All the women in my life have gone "window shopping," meaning that they go shopping looking for something that will hit their eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 I'm kinda stuck & lost, what is your advice? Get him drunk, and show him your fanny What kind of friendship is that between man and a woman without sex? Spot on, mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 Get him drunk, and show him your fannyThat's your answer to everything. Didn't you say the same thing when someone asked what he should do about his boss that wasn't letting him surf the internet at work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted August 21, 2003 Report Share Posted August 21, 2003 Didn't you say the same thing when someone asked what he should do about his boss that wasn't letting him surf the internet at work? OMG! Does he have a fanny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vava Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 Hey Juggs - good to see you back All I have to say about the matter: Men are simple creatures. They do not inderstand 'nuance' (subtlety, i guess?). So please, if you tell him you want to be friends, (which by the way is the ultimate rejection for a man, the equivalent of saying: "you're a nice guy, but I would rather be dead than date you") then don't expect him to have any interest in you at all. Men understand face-value. Tell him how you feel - be honest, and maybe things'll work out. If he's not a prick that is, 'cause he may want revenge after the 'friends' comment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted August 22, 2003 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 thanks guys, for the feedback. I'm gonna try to feel it out for a little while more, and if I still feel the same... I'll your advice and let him know one way or another. I'll keep you guys updated... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Accelerated Posted August 22, 2003 Report Share Posted August 22, 2003 Tell him how you feel - be honest, and maybe things'll work out. Yeah.....and dont forget to show him your fanny, that way you can be 110% sure of him getting the point Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted September 2, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2003 I realized why I had lost interest in the first place.... and I'm grateful I that I didnt say/do anything. thanks everyone for the feedback... I guess what htey say is true.... stick to your intuition... if it didnt work out the first time, no reason to try it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 2, 2003 Report Share Posted September 2, 2003 Am I the only one who thinks that it is about someone who is on this board or it is just weird idea. OK, no change of heart, but then what was the thing that prompted your interest in that "other" person, and do you believe it was fair to your "current" at the time boyfriend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
America-Hye Posted September 2, 2003 Report Share Posted September 2, 2003 Bittersweet, Since this is an anonymous forum, why don't you enlighten us. Tell us what it was that caused you to break up with your former boyfriend in the first place, and what it was that made you decide that that decision was correct. You will be doing us Armenian guys a great public service. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sip Posted September 2, 2003 Report Share Posted September 2, 2003 I was dating someone more than a year back...and recently I regained the feeling that I initially had for him....I realized why I had lost interest in the first place.... Referring to our other current topic , I am willing to guess that the guy got laid off his job, but then got rehired at a better job, but now again is laid off. Just kidding, but I couldn't resist!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyebruin Posted September 3, 2003 Report Share Posted September 3, 2003 I was dating someone more than a year back...and recently I regained the feeling that I initially had for him.... Referring to our other current topic , I am willing to guess that the guy got laid off his job, but then got rehired at a better job, but now again is laid off. Just kidding, but I couldn't resist!!!! hey sip, if you leave out all those "off's" then that's one lucky bastard there!!! (in terms of guy talk/perspective) of course!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted September 4, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 (edited) Am I the only one who thinks that it is about someone who is on this board or it is just weird idea. OK, no change of heart, but then what was the thing that prompted your interest in that "other" person, and do you believe it was fair to your "current" at the time boyfriend? somone on this site?other person? current boyfriend? ...i dont think you have the story right... there is no current boyfriend... other person? I'm lost. Since this is an anonymous forum, why don't you enlighten us. Tell us what it was that caused you to break up with your former boyfriend in the first place, and what it was that made you decide that that decision was correct. You will be doing us Armenian guys a great public service. Thank you. He wasn't my boyfriend, we were dating. What I dislike is his arrogance... his inability to let go of his "macho" attitude. He's the type of individual who's been spoiled to the chore, so therefore has grown to be self-indulged. he's attractive, he is used to females making the moves, receiving plenty of attention, so his self esteem is way in the air. why did i recently change my mind? ...bcuz I thought that maybe because we were just dating, he didnt have a chance to let loose. But, now I realize that that is part of his character, and that it's better left alone. Sip... lol close, but no call. Now that Ive shared some details.... any comments?? input? can anyone at all relate to this? Edited September 4, 2003 by BitterSweet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 4, 2003 Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 (edited) I'm lost completely If you were just dating... well, then start dating again. If you realize that he is the type that expects women to make the first move, just call him and say "Dude, lets go out!" As to Sip being close....yeah, most probably your "recent" date was laid off , or all your ex- boyfriends were/are laid off Last call! Anybody! Edited September 4, 2003 by gamavor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitterSweet Posted September 4, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 gamavor, I was kidding. that wasn't nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamavor Posted September 4, 2003 Report Share Posted September 4, 2003 Sweety, just trying to help. It seems to me that you are nice girl but a little bit confused. Muah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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