Beauty Standards: making the cut

[Gayane]

I know men who like women meeting the "western" standards: tall, thin, usually blonde. I know men who like "eastern" (or middle eastern) looking women: curvy, some flesh, very feminine. Then I know men who like the exotic look: a mix of the two somehow. And then there are men who'll take anything...lol...And then there are women who will kill themselves to look a certain way...They deserve each other...lol

 

Jokes aside, I think this is a very serious issue, both for women and for society at large. Are women "oppressed" by the existence of these beauty standards? or perhaps pressured into looking a certain way? Is it "natural" for a woman to feel insecure about her appearance? How much of this is a societal construct and how much of it is a woman's own insecurity as a woman? Are the two intertwined? What about those of us who are not insecure? How have we "escaped" the "oppression"? How do these beauty standards apply to armenian women in particular? do they?

 

In any case, let's hear it anything and everything you have to say on the issue

[Azat]

I feel really bad for young women, not just Armenian, who kill themselves to look good for others. This is a major problem in United States. I remember us talking about a similar subject a while back and we did(i think) come to a conclusion that People in Europe did not feel this pressure as much as people in US. Mostly because people in US are a little more overweight because of our lack of exercise.

 

So, what am I trying to say.

Is there pressure on women to look a certain way? - Yes.

Are women oppressed by these standards? - many are.

Is it "natural" for a woman to feel insecure? - No, I don't think so.

How much of this is a societal construct? - i feel it is alot. It usually is their mates, boyfriends, or all the TV crap or wanting to belong to a certain group.

What about those of us who are not insecure? - one word. Knowledge. People who are not insecure about this or any other thing is usually smarter than the average joe(jennifer).

 

I hope I made sense.

[Pilafhead]

The monkeywrench in all of this is the most insecure women seem to be some of the most beautiful ones! Insecure people tend to be insecure regardless of how they look or what they have.

 

I think everyone should try to look their best. Not really to impress someone else, but out of self-respect.

[Artur]

Good topic Gayane jan.

 

The thing is that it is very important how you look. In England most of the girls, as it seems to me, don't even care about the way they look, they wake up put some sport boots with jeans and go out. Well, when i go back home, it seems like all the girls are daghters of the millioniares, looking at the way they dress and take care of themselves.

 

Wether it is presure or not from men, who look to see girl nice, i think girls should first of all do it for themselves. They should have respect for themselves in the first place, should think about the way they look, and then about people, what they think etc. At the end of the day, a girl is the beautiful half of this world and it is always a pleasure to see a girl who take care of herself and look nice.

 

 

Artur

 

P.S. Gayush, good job with the topics ... seriously

[raja]

I think in this issue the most important element is self-confidence or rather lack of it.I tend to agree with Azat's mentioning that this is more of a problem in US. than in Europe.Apart from being more overweight,there is also the matter of work-inspired way of life in US. where people tend to be more depressed and along with that lack self-confidence.

In the case of Armenian women who live in a relatively conservative community we can divide it to two phases;pre-marriage and post-marriage.Armenian women who are brought up with the sense that whose primary objective is to find a husband and play the role of the good wife and mother,in the pre-marriage phase are more vulnerable to these beauty concernes.Thinking about the issue that an Armenian woman who reaches the age of 30 and is still unmarried is regarded a spinster they naturally are more concerned about their beauty.In the post-marriage phase having accomplished their primary goal results in an increased self-confidence which(together with the knowledge of the low divorce rate in the Armenian community)in effect reduce these concernes in a significant amount if not completely.

 

ps.I can't resist stating that these observations come from a 37 year old single Armenian guy.

[Kazza]

HA HA ha ha ha! I think some, but not all..

[Kazza]

[Kazza]

Oh- and another thing, when I saw the title of this tread "Making the CUT" I though a pount would be about platic surgery. Since noone had mentioned it anyway I will bring it up . I think (sorry Pilafhead, forgive me) . I know a lot of women go in for that (particlally in the States - I have heard from my cousin that americans give each other plastic surgery vouchers for birthdays and christmases instead of presents - Is this true?) I think god gave you your natural beauty for a reaosn, not to go around changing yourself under the plastic surgoens, knife.You just dont need to do that. I dont agree with it for my own standards anyway. A lot of people do that kind of thing for society pressure anyway. I think I look great! I dont need that kind of stuff.

[Gayane]

Vay aman, music to my ears Shat-shat mersi, Artur jan

[Artur]

Kazza, it was my opinion about english girls, no offense. I don't know about the girls in philadelphia, but i still know how girls dress in London. Well, from my point of view, they don't have taste at all. This is not the thing that we should argue because it is my opinion and you might have different one. But the thing is that I compare the way Armenian or Russian girls look with the English ones. And this is my impression and comparison, as you compare English with American from Philadelphia. And also about colleges... well Armenian girls also go to colleges...

 

Artur

[Azat]

Artur jan,

I have been to London only 3 times and I found that women in general are very beautifully dressed. Especially in the city center and theater district.

 

This is also true in many parts of New York city.

Azat

[Azat]

I was driving to a customer demo at a studio today and thought of this subject. I remembered a thing that we use to do in my previous company. Our company sold software to large enterprises. To help the salesman our company hired beautiful young air heads to go on these sales calls as sales associates because we had heard that sales groups in other companies were more successful if a beautiful female was present.

 

This really worked. The difference was just so dramatic I could not believe it. It just proves that we(men) are so shallow.

[Nané]

What en expensive gift How come I don't have any friends like that? He he he ...

Kazza, you talk about God giving people natural beauty and all but how about the people God overlooked when passing out natural beauty? Sometimes I look at people and try to understand why God would be so cruel as to put a huge nose on a pettite, soft faced girl or Dumbo ears on a handsome looking man.

Personally I don't see anything wrong with improving yourself (particularly facial features) as long as you don't do a "Michael Jackson" or something I also must state that I am very against lipo suction and implants (for health reasons first of all).

I don't think most people feel pressured into having plastic surgeries. Maybe a few do. I have several female friends who never lacked positive attention from people but they chose to have nose surgeries. It's a matter of perfecting yourself as much as possible, internally and externally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think self confidence is something we all (male, female, Armenian or Combodian) lack at one point in our lives(around 16-17 I would say). And then, depending on the sort of feedback you get from people (especially from the opposite sex) you either build self-esteem or you dive further into self-pity. Very few females are actually satisfied with the way they look and the men are not necessarily the ones to blame but the media. I think we have all heard this and it's so true.

From my own experience I would say that just working towards improving your body gives you all the self confidence you can dream of. Nothing is as rewarding (emotionally) and confidence boosting as the fact that you are doing something about it !!! You are trying to look better, feel better and healthier. I am talking about exercise of course, not dieting. Dieting can't be a life-style. I also would like to mention that most girls start out this "self-imrovement" task for the sake of others but end up doing it for their own selves. When you regain (or gain) your self-confidence, you no longer care what others think or say.

Wow, this post is getting longer. I just want to mention real quick that the same goes for males as well. They also are sort of pressured by the females to look good. "Survival of the fittest" I guess

Healthy mind and a healthy body - beautiful union

[ May 05, 2001: Message edited by: Sulamita ]

[srbuh]

 

I can reach the thing you say of your appearance, but I must state that the way you represent yourself is no less important.Though I have neither of problems we all mean, my rate of self-confidence is incompatibly lower. Meantime I meet females, that although their appearance is awaiting for GREAT changes to best (even to good ), but they move, talk and generally behave the way they are like others (not worse by some reason). I don't mean those, bursting with pride,but girls so pleasant in communication,that you at once put her appearance aside and appraise her individuality,inner world.

The thing I'm tryin' to say is :IF ONE CAN'T DO anything with outer,let her try to do smth with inner, by the way gaining the very self-confidence.(keep in view the brilliant person Barbara Streisand).

 

[ June 14, 2002, 11:02 PM: Message edited by: Srbuhi ]

[elovna]

According to my boyfriend I have the most beautiful wrinkles in the world!

I wouldn't want to spoil this with a face-lift.